Achilles’ Last Stand

You know who really does deserve a Pulitzer? Whoever came up with that blurb “Funky Winkerbean is a reality-based comic strip that depicts contemporary issues affecting young adults in a thought-provoking and sensitive manner.” That is, if there’s a Pulitzer Price for bullshit.

Epicus Doomus
June 24, 2016 at 10:29 pm
And of course we all know [Mason wanting to add an “e” to his last name] will never, ever be mentioned again…

Each time TB squanders ink and newsprint on a strip where Les and Funky go running, it’s the same question: why does Funky do it if he derives no benefit? Les appears to be reasonably fit (at least compared to Funky). He’s not spraying plewds everywhere (“plewds“, by the way, are the droplets of sweat we see in cartoons). Although that might be attributed to Les’ sweatband, which he wears so tightly that it appears to be deforming his skull.

On the heels of bringing you the last couple weeks of snark, yours truly feels like Funky does after one of his runs! Fortunately, billytheskink will be tagging in to go mano a mano with the mind of Batiuk for the next fortnight. Thanks as always for reading, commenting, and sharing the pain.

 

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16 Comments

Filed under Son of Stuck Funky

16 responses to “Achilles’ Last Stand

  1. FUNKY WINKERBEAN that need to be retired #542: Funky and Les running.

  2. Is it me or is that Nazi Fitness instructor in the masthead. That’s Trope That Needs to be Retired #543.

  3. spacemanspiff85

    I really hate these strips just for the fact that Les is someone lean and fit with no health issues while Funky is a tub of lard one wrong move away from multiple organ failure, despite that we’ve never seen Les go to a gym or try to lose weight, unlike Funky.

  4. Jimmy

    Does your arm hurt when you move it like that?
    Yes.
    Then stop doing it!

  5. Epicus Doomus

    Les “The Most Annoying Man In The World” and his sidekick Funky “Woe Is Me” Winkerbean…hey, at least it’d be a premise with some comedic potential. But alas, soon he’ll return to yet another corner of his remarkably underdeveloped little universe and start spinning more plates, just like he always does. He needs to press the pause button with this SJ stuff for a while, as that whole E thing is scraping underneath the spot where the barrel sits, much less the barrel itself.

  6. Jim in Wisc.

    Epicus Doomus wrote:
    Les “The Most Annoying Man In The World”

    Can we do with him the same thing they did to “The Most Interesting Man In The World”? Only make sure Les’s rocket goes off course and careens out of the solar system?

  7. $$$WESTVIEW ONCOLOGIST$$$

    You know..this was all set for a joke about the actual Greek hero Achilles. You got douchebag Les there. You got Funky. Sunday Panel with at least 7 panels to stretch out the pun.

    …..And Batiuk fucking wastes the opportunity. Tommy you aint even trying at your own stupid brand of humor.

  8. Ah, Funky Winkerbean: where if you’re not miserable and complaining about it to anyone who will listen, you’re doing it worng.

  9. Fat whiny person jogging with a skinny person? Seems to me as if Lynn Johnston should get a tip of the old Funky felt tip.

  10. Saturnino

    “Fat whiny person jogging with a skinny person? Seems to me as if Lynn Johnston should get a tip of the old Funky felt tip.”

    Makes LUANN look like a work of Thucydides…………..

  11. @hannibal: Now THAT is contemporary, sensitive and thought provoking!

  12. @Jim in Wisc. Nyahh, I want any rocket Les is in to fly straight to the sun. BURN LES, BURN!

  13. Hitorque

    Anybody want to inform Funkmeister about the benefits of bicycling, swimming, yoga, or any of the countless other exercises he could do that aren’t so hard on the body??

  14. @Hitorque: biggest benefit of bicycling is that you could come blasting down the trail at 25mph and bowl through FunkyLes, sending them flying like bowling pins… If I were more ambitious I’d paste “Frazz” into today’s strip doing just that.

  15. Frank Bolton

    Gentle reminder: exercise is only a small component of losing weight. Even if Funky and Les ran for an hour, they’d be burning about 1,000 calories. I seriously doubt that Funky and Les do that more than twice a week for two thousand. That would be a considerable in conjunction with a diet — except that Funky works at a pizza place. Five extra slices of pizza over the week would completely kill off any progress he made.

    Bottom line: unless you spend several hours a week doing high-intensity exercise, you’re not going to lose weight unless you also control your calorie intake. Les seems to be able to subsist off of ovaltine, cookies, and smug so that’s why he’s so skinny.