Raging Bullcrap

Link to today’s strip

Thanks to BC and the entire SoSF crew! I’m back to wade once more into whatever the madman Batiuk has cooked up for us this time around. So let’s see if Bull is still alive and…

Sigh, what a letdown. I was hoping for something a bit more dramatic than this extended tantrum, something we could really sink our teeth into. Like a heart attack, an untimely death, some sort of dismemberment, you know, Act II type stuff. But Bull angrily throwing his phone because he misplaced his special dialing wand and has to use his fat useless fingers? Meh. So now he’s fat, angry, stupid and impossible to contact too. His worth as a character just continues to grow with every appearance. So whaddya think all this rage is about? Being married to Linda? Being around Dick Facey all day? Frustrated over his missing children? I’m (somewhat) sure BanTom will fill us in…eventually…maybe. Sigh.

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26 Comments

Filed under Son of Stuck Funky

26 responses to “Raging Bullcrap

  1. HeyItsDave

    Nah, he’s just pissed off because he can’t get hold of the custodians to clean up the glass. (Who uses real glass at an ofice water cooler, anyway?)

  2. Rusty Shackleford

    Hi this is Les Moore. If you are calling to report a Lisa vision press 1. To collect your kill fee press 2. To report terminal cancer, press 3….

  3. spacemanspiff85

    I bet he’s calling DUI, begging for them to hire him, because he’s so sick of the Scapegoats.

  4. HeyItsDave

    Bonus strip.

  5. billytheskink

    Classic TB bait-and-switch. The bait is rat poison and the switch is more rat poison.

    I’m with Bull on this, though. I’d be mad too if I discovered my equipment manager ordered Canadian footballs (with their 360 degree white stripes).

  6. That head in panel one…I was sure that we were going to find out Bull was an alien from “Star Trek The Next Generation.” One of the Squattos, maybe. Or a Balderian.

    Instead, it’s just Bull auditioning for the role of Mr. Furious in “Mystery Men.”

  7. Should have known. Tragedy in Westview just isn’t a thing anymore. It’s been replaced by self-centered bitterness and resentment.

  8. Gerard Plourde

    So Batty has trolled us again. The potentially dramatic moment of the shattered water glass turns out to be – what? Now he’s making a phone call and goes berserk. Does he always drop (literally) one thing when he goes on to the next? Is his regular response to minor frustration to throw things around like a two-year old?

  9. So as usual, we have the same old nothing. Couldn’t he at least have made SOMETHING happen after a cliffhanger like that?

    On the bright side, Bull’s reaction in that last panel could be pasted onto the end of every FW strip. Perfect representation of the readers’ feelings!

  10. spacemanspiff85

    I’m kind of surprised Bull dropping the glass didn’t turn out to be a dream.

  11. Charles

    On the plus side, with Bull raging over nothing at all, perhaps when Les smugly smirks about how maybe Bull should calm down, there’s a good chance that Bull will beat the shit out of him. Well, at least, that’s what *should* happen instead of whatever facile development comes out of this.

    I’m just amused that Bull drops his glass (!) drinking cup on the floor, and rather than cleaning it up, inexplicably decides then and there to make a phone call. We are not given any idea of who he might have been calling, so this sequence is missing essential information were it to be considered “drama”. Hell, the weirdness of the sequence is bad enough that there probably isn’t anyone Bull could be calling that would make sense of all this.

    Perhaps Bull is pissed off because he’s gone from being a borderline professional athlete (that backstory was one of Batiuk’s most asinine) to being this weirdly proportioned squashly guy with upside-down bowling pin legs. Plus, I’m not sure how he has can have that hairline in panel one and yet still have hair visible on top of his head when you’re viewing him from the front and below chin-level. Maybe he has a hugely bulbous forehead.

    Kind of amazing that I had this much to write about the most nothing strip he’s done this entire year, and seeing how many nothing strips he usually writes, that’s a big deal.

  12. Great. We have a spoiled infant in his fifties throwing a temper fit for a very stupid reason. At least Dinkle’s being a grandiose lunatic who took his very little bit of authority far too seriously was entertaining.

  13. It’s called “continuity,” Mr. Battyuck.

  14. He’s calling 1-800-4SHARDS – 24 hour broken glass clean up service.

    I’m not sure where this going after today, but I’m with the consensus that it’s pretty much going to go nowhere. As I said yesterday, TB can’t kill or debilitate Bull, since he’s the ONLY character in the strip who’s available to be the punch line of any of his lame high school sports jokes.

  15. Do it, Bull… You have no fear…. You have no remorse… You are all powerful… *They* are laughing at you… *They* do not like football… *They* are plotting against you behind your back… So KILL THEM ALL! They all have it coming… KILL THEM ALL! They have fallen out of God’s favor…

    And when those wicked sinners are all dead, you must burn down the entire school as a sacrifice to God, and then kill yourself to complete the ascension to heaven. God told me to tell you there’s a spot waiting for you in heaven, but only if you hurry and do those three tasks in order… Good luck!

  16. Isn’t Bull a bit too old to feature in Batiuk’s half-assed homage to “Carrie”??

    If Bull starts beating the ever-living fuck out of Les and the other teachers, and rolls into classrooms butt-nekkid cussing out students and telling them to ‘smoke his soul pole’, I might take back some of the things I’ve said about this strip…

  17. “…..And THAT is why we decided to retire Ed Krankenschaaft’s number in Toledo and put his likeness on a bobblehead instead of your old man Beanball Bushka, who as you might have guessed, stank like shit on ice! Jesus, failure must run in your family, doesn’t it? I’ll admit we were surprised to discover Beanball Bushka even had a son, since it’s no secret around these parts that he had a predilection for the company of teenage bo–“

  18. $$$WESTVIEW ONCOLOGIST$$$

    Is Bull going to turn into the Incredible Hulk???…WHAT IS THE POINT OF THIS DAMN STRIP??!! Just kill someone already Batiuk! It’s what you do best!

  19. $$$WESTVIEW ONCOLOGIST$$$

    Crankshaft –

    Sue Crankshaft. Sue the fucking school. Hell, sue the Bus company. Why in God’s name are you taking this fucking abuse to your mailbox for this long, Dude!

    If Crankshaft drives that badly to destroy personal property, you can have his license revoked.

    I know what Batiuk is trying to do here, but it doesn’t work in a comic strip that promotes itself as being close to reality. In a strip like Garfield or even Blondie this would work. Here it doesn’t. The reader is just left wondering why is this guys mailbox being destroyed repeatedly with no ramifications on Crankshaft?

  20. billytheskink

    Several years ago, TB did a Crankshaft storyline where Keesterman finally complained to the school district, who then forbade Crankshaft from backing up in Keesterman’s driveway on his route. This tiny disruption of the “natural order” snowballed into all sorts of terrible things, such as the local hardware store going out of business because Keesterman was no longer buying replacement mailboxes and lumber. Keesterman relented after seeing the consequences of his reasonable request, and Shaft has been flattening his mailboxes ever since.

    Crankshaft, of course, isn’t a bad driver, he deliberately hits Keesterman’s mailbox in pursuit of some psychopathic pleasure. Here he is on the cover of the very first collection of Crankshaft strips, recording another “victory”.

    Keesterman, by the way, frequently eats breakfast with Shaft and Ralph at Dale Evans. I assume this is because he is terrified of Ed.

  21. Comic Book Harriet

    Okay. True confession time. The mailbox gag from Crankshaft actually amuses me. Maybe it’s Stockholm syndrome. Maybe it’s because everyone in Funkyverse, even supposed tender-hearted heroes, is so darn hate-able that having someone flat out OWN it, revel in it, and cause misery and destruction to the miserable universe he is forced to inhabit, is cathartic.

  22. Professor Fate

    So just how does this square with the ret-conned Bull who was only pretending to beat the tar out of Les to protect him from the real bullies? And speaking of the Real Bullies where are they now?
    As far as what’s wrong with Bull,, to quote Fawlty Towers: “let’s hope it’s nothing trivial.”

  23. johnnymac627

    I’m guessing beginning stages of ALS. . .

  24. HeyItsDave

    I’m guessing beginning stages of ALS.

    Great. Batiuk gets a chance to put Lou Gherig’s farewell speech in ANOTHER comic strip. I wonder if he’ll have Bull mimic the microphone feedback echos like Crankshit did.

  25. Imagine that bull has a smartphone. And that he was looking at this website.

  26. $$$WESTVIEW ONCOLOGIST$$$

    Crankshaft:

    Was I the only one that thought those were tombstones in panel 3. That would actually be a nice dark turn for that strip.