Wally Thinkerbean

If only Tom Batiuk trusted his characters to inhabit their own stories. and his readers to follow along. We’ve long since established that poor Wally can barely function in 21st century Westview. But in a story arc where he’s the main character, we must listen to Wally’s wife and uncle cousin boss narrate the “action”. In the case of today’s strip, this is done in order to set up the wordless third panel punchline, where we see “focused and ready” Wally sitting intently, surrounded by his younger peers whose attention is anywhere but on the lesson. This marks quite a change for our Wally in the six years since his first community college go-round (see below), during which time he was not merely distracted but actually asleep in class. It’s gotta be those glasses!


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16 Comments

Filed under Son of Stuck Funky

16 responses to “Wally Thinkerbean

  1. Epicus Doomus

    Oh, I see. Wally is incredibly old and unable to grasp or use “technology” thus he isn’t distracted by his newfangled gizmos like “these kids today” are. Nope, good ol’ pencil and paper for old man Winkerbean, just like in the good old days, that’s all HE needs.

    Coming next week: intimidated by those newfangled self-checkout gizmos at the supermarket, Wally opts to milk his own cows, slaughter his own chickens and churn his own butter at home, just like he did back when he was a kid.

  2. Ha ha ha, people below the age of, um, er…20? –are stupid, worthless and easily distracted by modern trivia. Like, they know all the mixes of Lady Gaga’s “Born This Way” but they have no idea how the Trickster’s story has evolved over the decades into this one, dull cesspool that involves Mark Hammil.

    And therefore, those young people should just be…well, let’s say it. Killed, murdered, burned alive. They do not respect The Flash! But let’s wait to kill them after they order a million dollars worth of terrible Montoni’s pizza. Because they’ll see the newspaper ad coupons for Montoni’s and their primitive brains will scream PIZZA!

    Today’s episode really sums up the whole Funky Winkerbean experience. You are completely evil and worthless if you a) know how to use today’s technology, b) have ZERO knowledge of silver age DC comic books, and c) are able to build on a set of skills and make a life for yourself.

  3. spacemanspiff85

    This is stupid. These are junior college students, not high schoolers who don’t want to be there. They’re not forced to be there. I’d imagine a lot of them are older and in similar situations to Wally. But sure, let’s ignore reality just so we can take a shot at those stupid youngsters and their cellular phones.

  4. billytheskink

    Now Wally can get an associates degree, just like Rachel.
    Then he can get a job at Montoni’s, just like Rachel.

    Wait a second…

  5. So, I’m guessing that Wally is going to get some community college degree in business and leapfrog Rachel into the Assistant Manager position (or whatever the hell job Durwood had before he quit to go shirk in Hollywood), even though, as a career waitress, she knows more about the Montoni’s business than he ever will. Gotta keep those traditional female roles intact.

  6. ComicTrek

    Sometimes, many words are not enough. So a simple “still not funny” from me will suffice for today’s nonsense.

  7. spacemanspiff85

    @ComicTrek:
    “Still not funny” would suffice for the official description of this strip on Comics Kingdom.

  8. If you think this is bad now, wait until he parachutes in Chullo Boy to really rub in how worthless he thinks millennials are.

  9. Rusty Shackleford

    That’s some creepy logo on the door of Montoni’s.

    Why does Wally dress like a hippie from the early 70’s? John Lennon glasses and an old army coat..WTF?

    Maybe he needs to get a smart phone so he can text his classmates. I sure hope he knows how to activate and use his school provided email so he can submit homework assignments,etc. Ah, Batty doesn’t know that…it’s still all paper and pencil to him. I wonder if he even heard of OneNote.

  10. Hitorque

    1. So was there ever a definitive answer on when the army ditched OD Green? Or did Wally enlist back in the Reagan era or something?

    2. Since he’s intent on looking the part, I don’t know why Wally doesn’t go full Travis Bickle… Isn’t there a 13-year-old whore somewhere in the Funkyverse that needs rescuing?

    3. Sweet! A 185-dollar textbook on top of the trash, barely used! Since the Funkyverse is years behind modern reality, this must still be a time when the campus bookstore gives you a decent return on resale value!

  11. bad wolf

    Ahh, there’s the “everyone just listens to their iPods looks at their phones” gag I was expecting in the rerun DC class trip. (It seemed to be a thing in the 2007 trip.) Finally! I’d hate to think TB couldn’t recycle one of his gags.

  12. billytheskink

    So, I’m guessing that Wally is going to get some community college degree in business and leapfrog Rachel into the Assistant Manager position…

    Doubtful, if only because TB brought this scenario up last year. I think we all know his track record when it comes to resolving plot points…

  13. I think we are misunderstanding the point of the third panel. Class hasn’t started yet; that’s why the other students are hanging out, socializing, fooling with their phones. Wally, meanwhile, is in a near panic–so many people around him, such a small-feeling room… even with Buddy the Wonder Dog’s help (yes, Buddy, you’re a good boy, yes you are, yes you ARE) he can only keep himself together by focusing all his attention on the spot where the teacher will soon appear. This is in ironic conflict with the cheery dialog of the first two panels.

    In tomorrow’s strip, the pressure will be too much for Wally and we’ll see him start to crack. Sunday’s strip will be a sideways guest-artist thing in which he’s become the Incredible Hulk.

  14. Rusty Shackleford

    I wonder if there is room above Montoni’s for a new shop…maybe Wally can see medicinal weed.

  15. The Dreamer

    Shouldn’t Corey be the one in that class? Corey went straight from Westview into the army, and then got out and married Rocky. Is he living happily ever after? He’s the one who should be back in school. At least Wally has a job, Corey doesn’t

  16. Bepp

    Wally’s still sleeping through class with the help of Amazon technology.