Apple core. Baltimore. Who’s your friend?

So in today’s strip we finally get to the particulars of DSH’s actual compensation for being a part-time researcher. This is the third consecutive strip in which the DSH’s compensation has been discussed, by the way. On a scale of molasses to SR-71, the pacing of this week’s story arc is Rex Morgan.

A trip to Comic-Con is on tap in the near future, oh boy! The way this strip works, it may just wind up being DSH talking about his trip to Comic-Con. Lefty tries to guilt her husband into taking her as the one “friend” he can bring by using a tactic she saw on a Dumont Network sitcom. Will Crazy counter her move with something he cribbed from a Burns and Allen routine? Tune in next week (probably) to find out!

Of course, none of this is happening until the movie rolls out at Comic-Con. You know, back in 2014, the release date was supposed to be “next summer”. Considering the work we’ve seen done for the film thus far and the fact that they are just now hiring a researcher, I’m guessing the actual roll out will be sometime around 2025.



Filed under Son of Stuck Funky

21 responses to “Apple core. Baltimore. Who’s your friend?

  1. Epicus Doomus

    Oh, a comic book convention. I really should have seen that one coming, I suppose. This Author Guy is a black hole of creativity where premises are unable to escape the intense gravitational pull of his massive laziness and artistic atrophy. And he has to fill out the week with sub-sitcom-level slapstick tropes too, what a sad display of hackery. The fact that it centers around three lifeless characters no one cares about just makes it all the more forgettable and pointless too.

  2. spacemanspiff85

    Yeck, girls. Always wanting to spend time with their husbands. Why can’t they just be quiet and bring us cookies when we’re reading our comics?

  3. I seem to recall that Dirt-Sued John, Harry, and Holly all attended Comic-Com just on their own, with only a couple of (idiotic) mishaps to mar the occasion. Why is this such a big deal, then? Because Tom Batiuk has found a laziness stream that suits his workload.

    You know, I hate the fact that I typed the above. It sure would be nice if Tom Batiuk made the slightest effort to entertain. But that day is long gone, I fear.

  4. spacemanspiff85

    You’re being picky. I’d be happy if Batiuk made the slightest effort.

  5. Gerard Plourde

    @beckonongchasm – The other weird thing about the arc you mention is that it occurred only last year during Holly’s quest to complete Corey’s Starbuck Jones collection. It didn’t seem to be a financial strain on DSH’s wallet to go then, so why is this a big perk now?

  6. Jimmy

    To be fair, I would give my wife the same look if she suddenly turned into a hatchet face/lizard hybrid. It is a bit unsettling.

    Les has to be the special friend traveling with DSH, where he will immediately be offered the executive producer role for the entire SJ franchise run. Because Deus Ex Machina!

  7. billytheskink

    You can tell Lefty really, really wants to go to Comic-Con because she’s already got her T’Pol cosplay on in panel 3.

    This is a new side of her. The only interests she’s previously been shown to have are watching black-and-white movies and enabling Dinkle.

  8. Watch him spend the rest of the week whining about not being able to take Crazy because HE would be able to appreciate it.

  9. ComicTrek

    *Gracious*, look at Becky!!! Either she needs to take SEVERAL chill pills, or she just went through the quickest sex change ever!

    I’d always gathered that Becky is supposed to be sort of the “straight man” of the strip. So why is she acting so DESPERATE all of a sudden? It’s not like John is Les, a dude who constantly leaves his wife behind for Lisa-related missions around the world. Calm down, girl!

    I can’t stand how TB is always changing his characters’ defining personality traits on a whim. I know it was supposed to be funny, but…

  10. Chyron HR

    “Gee, I guess I’ll go with another guy’s wife again. That’s normal, right?”

  11. Check out how John in panel 3 recoils in horror from Becky! True, she’s leering at him like a cobra about to strike (“S-s-s-s-s-so, who’s-s-s the friend you’re taking?”) but she’s his wife!

  12. louder

    Love how this is all taking place over the phone. No job interview, no background check, no nondisclosure agreement — just a movie studio hiring someone, sight unseen, to work for them. It’s not like there are ten million interns from film schools who would do all DSH work for free, and much better. Talk about Fantasy Island! Gesh, what stupidity we get week after week.

  13. 1. What the fuck just happened? Yesterday they want to hire Comic Book Story Guy for some bullshit do-nothing job for no (official) pay, and today it’s “Just kidding! We want to fly you and a friend to ComiCon in Sandy Eggo so you can get your geekgasm on! We’ll send Masone Jarre’s Gulfstream over so you can fly to Cali in style, we’ll put you up in the Four Seasons, let you personally present the world premiere of the SJ trailer to thousands of screaming fans, for ONE brief shining moment you’ll be ‘cool’ among your fellow geeknoscenti and you’ll never have to do a single bit of research, or anything resembling work, LOL!!!” So between yesterday and today Comic Book Story Guy won “The Price is Right” or something??

    2. Oh, I can’t wait to see how classy and professional the SJ movie event at ComiCon will be – 10,000 fifty-something geeks with decoder rings, PB+J sandwiches, Ovaltine, and lameassed puns…

    3. WHO THE FUCK ARE THESE “PRODUCERS”?? I so very much want to meet them… Does Masone know that some strange group of unknown people are making management decisions about the production without his approval?

    4. Why the hell would Becky want to go, given her Dinkle-esque obsessive-compulsive attention to the band, which is so intense Comic Book Story Guy complains to random people in public that she’s too busy/tired to let him hit it anymore?? WAIT – This is one of those bullshit justifications to briefly “un-retire” Dinkle while she’s on vacation, isn’t it?

    5. Well to be fair, since Becky will be the only woman there besides Cindy (who will still be keeping tabs on Masone), she’ll get a lot of attention from horny geeks?

    6. Is there a single adult in this strip who doesn’t go batshit insane when the subject turns to comic books?


  14. @louder: To be fair, that’s exactly how Pete and Darrin got hired on this production as well…

    @TFHackett: By that look on his face, John was clearly planning to bring his Jupiter Moon blow-up doll on the trip instead of the wifey…

  15. billytheskink

    Check out how John in panel 3 recoils in horror from Becky! True, she’s leering at him like a cobra about to strike (“S-s-s-s-s-so, who’s-s-s the friend you’re taking?”) but she’s his wife!

    I give DSH a pass of this one. Look at Lefty’s nose, it’s sharp enough to cut a tin can. I’d back up too if someone started trying to shiv me with their face, even if I was married to them.

  16. Actually DSH mis-heard. The producers are offering to take him to Kama-Con, the big festival of Hindu sex positions.

  17. All that’s left is for Dinkle to get hired to compose the sound track.



    I’ll give Batiuk, this. He’s never been racist like Brooke McEldowney is being right now. Have you guys been reading 9CL lately. 1940s Bugs Bunny cartoons were more open minded!

  19. @bobanero: And for Les to deliver the Oscar acceptance speech…

  20. spacemanspiff85

    Okay, so if Cliff Angerr is still alive, is nobody around who actually wrote Starbuck Jones? The first issue came out when Funky was in high school, and it went on for 100 issues at least. Wouldn’t someone who actually worked on creating the character be a better research assistant?

  21. The Dreamer

    John should take Wally&Buddy to Comic Con, after all if Wally hadnt gotten captured overseas, John would never have hooked up with his wife. He owes him!