Nightmares… And Other Tales From The Batiuk Bungle


OK, maybe I’m overreacting. Maybe it will help if I picture Cindy blinkin-

Don't worry, she can't steal your soul. If you read Funky Winkerbean, it has already been stolen.

GWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!  That actually makes it worse, moving this thing from “terrifying drawing on a balloon wearing a wig” to “living creature”.

I don’t really know what is going on here, nor do I want to. I only know that I won’t be sleeping for the better part of a week.



Filed under Son of Stuck Funky

18 responses to “Nightmares… And Other Tales From The Batiuk Bungle

  1. spacemanspiff85

    Haha! Pretty blondes literally wake up screaming from worry over losing their looks! Hilarious!

  2. Epicus Doomus

    I don’t understand. Cindy went back in time and gave herself beauty tips thus current day Cindy should still be radiant, no? Damn that Batiuk and his smug, obnoxious disregard for continuity. Anyhow, yeah, Cindy is still obsessed with her face and BanTom is still telling his grand Starbuck Jones movie story by steadily working the outer limits of the perimeter of his little sub-universe like he always does. Some things never change.

  3. If I had a turkey drumstick that size, I’d probably gaze in astonishment too.

  4. spacemanspiff85

    I’m pretty much the last guy to support protesting things that offend you, but Batiuk’s portrayal of females really seems like something there should be a movement against. But I guess you have to be relevant to cause a backlash.

  5. billytheskink

    Maybe nightmare Cindy is shocked that the string just broke on her paddle ball…

  6. Gerard Plourde

    So now we can add cosmetic surgery to the list of subjects that Batty will pontificate on without possessing any actual knowledge about.

  7. Botched: It’s the show he’s ripping off and what he’s done with pretty much every arc with a woman in it since the seventies.

  8. Charles

    Wait, I thought Mason Jarr was filming on location in Cleveland, so he and Cindy should be sleeping on a cot or a sofabed in Funky’s guest room.

    When was the last time there was a Cindy-centric storyline that didn’t focus on how old and/or past her prime she was?

  9. Rusty

    I think Cindy is the character obsessed with aging since the rest of the cast aged 30 years in the decade time-jump, not giving them a chance to mention it.

  10. Miskatonic Sophomore

    I see a touch of “gray alien” in Post-Surgical Cindy’s hideous features. Oversized and strangely-angled eyes; undersized mouth; pointy chin under bulbous cranium…

    Is Cindy’s nightmare an eerie psychic omen? Is Westview under threat by the Saucer People of Zeta Reticuli [insert theremin music]?

    I sure hope so, because it might liven things up a little in this comic strip.

  11. I was going to ask why Masone has yet to insist Cindy start calling herself “Cindye,” but then I noticed that Masone already traded Cindy Summers-Winkerbean in for some 20-something blonde who still has high tits and a tight ass… So good on him…

  12. Meanwhile, over in Krankenschaafland, Ed is pissed off not only at the knowledge that his parental influence resulted in a pun-spewing daughter, but that unlike him she can actually string together a coherent pun, and not those bullshit malaprops that fall from Ed’s mouth like fecal matter from a Canada goose…

  13. That’s the same face I make every morning when I read Funky Winkerbean.


    Now will this, WILL THIS!!!!!, finally introduce us to Marianne Winters??!!!

  15. Professor Fate

    He really doesn’t seem to like women much at all – other than mother figures who indulge his man children’s self infantilization by bringing milk and cookies while they sit on the floor reading comic books – other wise they are self absorbed and manipulative.
    And yet more Starbuck Jones universe. It really makes one wish for one male FW character that had adult vices – like smoking, drinking, drugs, gambling or chasing women , you know, something ADULT people do…

  16. @Professor Fate – So far as we know, only Mort has those vices…and it should be noted he’s one of the more likeable characters.

  17. Jimmy

    Well, Funky was a big drinker who almost lost everything, but he was redeemed by St. Les.