J-Jerome?

Link to today’s dribble.

jeromeYes, Les, you insufferable, condescending douche. It’s true: All through high school, you were beaten up by someone named Jerome. And since you seem to have forgotten, you were also occasionally protected by someone named Jerome, apologized to by someone named Jerome, helped train for your Kilimanjaro excursion by someone named Jerome, played tennis regularly with someone named Jerome, and let’s not forget how that Jerome asshole provided Summer with extensive and free physical therapy after she blew out her knee playing basketball.

For chrissake, Les and his meatworld counterpart T-Bats have been out of high school for more than thirty five years. You’d think they’d have grown out of making fun of people’s names by now.

 

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28 Comments

Filed under Son of Stuck Funky

28 responses to “J-Jerome?

  1. Brilliant parody, Dave.

    As for the real strip, it’s all about Les. In the nine years since the time jump, the biggest crisis Les has gone through was being on the reunion committee, while most of the other characters have been through major crises. Cripes.

  2. I seem to recall a wasted week or two in which Les and Cayla ran down their respective high school achievements by using a stack of yearbooks that they just happened to have within reach.

    Typically, in yearbooks, they give the student’s actual name rather than a nickname. So Les has had those yearbooks by his side all these years and apparently never cracked open any of them.

    I mean, it’s either that, or this strip is really poorly served by continuity…and I can’t believe that!

  3. spacemanspiff85

    Yeah, because Lester is a much better name.

  4. Epicus Doomus

    Batom already blew the big reveal a few weeks ago, in typically inept fashion. Yeah, it seems highly, highly unlikely that Les wouldn’t know Bull’s real name, given how they’ve been working with each other for decades and all. I mean come on BanTom, at least pretend to put a little something into it. It’s Bull’s retirement for crying out loud, not one of your arcs where someone fixes a bandbox or buys pens.

    And yeah “Les”, possibly short for “Leslie”, a guy named Jerome was bullying you. Why is the idea of being beaten up by a guy named Jerome so extra humiliating to Les and why does BanTom think “Jerome” is such a wussy name? What’s THAT all about? And why is there a strip about Les in the middle of this arc at all? Just to deliver a dumb joke he already spoiled weeks ago? Did he seriously believe that adding Les to this thing would make it better? Usually he’s just boring and or predictable in that weird annoying way of his but sometimes this BanTom guy can be one strange dude with a really odd take on humor, let’s say.

  5. HeyItsDave

    1. I think it’s been confirmed that “Les” is short for “Leslie.”
    2. No matter what the subject of the strip the author’s avatar appears in, he’s gotta make it all about him.
    3. If T-Bats had originally intended Bull’s name to be “Jerome,” he would have started out in Act I calling him “Jerry.” The only reason he used the name “Bull Bushka” was because it was a “pun” name (babushka, get it? HOLY SHIT THAT’S A REAL KNEE-SLAPPER, TOM) like “Les Moore,” “Harry Dinkle,” and so on.

  6. billytheskink

    “Bull’s first name was Jerome?”

    He ain’t dead yet, Les… I mean, he will be soon I assume, but Les’ impatience is unbecoming. Everything about Les is unbecoming, really, but we all knew that.

  7. “I suppose if we’d shown any interest in someone who is a longtime friend and colleague, we would have known that. Ah well, on to more important things-we only have eleven and a half months to prepare for the next Lisa’s Legacy run!”

  8. The only reason that it makes sense to the whining, self-absorbed, inattentive moron that Bull is Jerome Bushka’s real first name is that for some unguessable reason, Morton Winkerbean decided to name his son “Funky”.

    Also, I can think of a Jerome that could also have kicked Les’s ass….ever see Jerry Orbach in Prince of the City?

  9. spacemanspiff85

    Batiuk’s latest blog entry is all about how real comic writers just bullshit their way way through a story, rather than doing any kind of research.

  10. Epicus Doomus

    There’s a certain sick negativity to this whole premise, like they decided to rush things before Bull forgets everything (“everything” being the events that led to the very predicament he’s in right now, ironically enough). But he was only diagnosed last week, which goes to show you exactly how pessimistic Westviewians are as a people.

    And isn’t it funny how the field being re-named in his honor was where he most likely suffered the first couple of dozen of his concussions? They’re honoring his largely forgettable career before he forgets it, yet another uniquely Batiukian paradox. The whole thing is just oddly upbeat considering it’s actually about a degenerative brain condition and all.

  11. The Dreamer

    Les had to know Bull’s name was Jerome, wasnt he at Bull’s wedding? He never saw any school records?

  12. Rusty

    His name was Jerome? Actually, it still is, Les.
    They should all be concerned about Cayla’s plastic surgery addiction, her nose is now whittled down to a fine edge.

  13. HeyItsDave

    And isn’t it funny how the field being re-named in his honor was where he most likely suffered the first couple of dozen of his concussions?

    They’re totally cool with it, because they know in a few years, when Bull’s noggin has been pretty much wiped clean by CTE, they can re-name the field something else.

  14. Rusty Shackleford

    I thought his name was Curly.

  15. 1. I don’t get it — Is Les trying to say that Jerome/Jerry is some kind of a sissy name or something?? And out of all the years they’ve worked together at the same school, not once has “Bull’s” Christian name been uttered or mentioned? Through all the years of retconned friendship, not once has Les bothered to ask him??

    2. Batiuk missed a trick by not naming Bull “Jake”, as in LaMotta….

    3. So when do we learn Funky’s birth name?

    4. What in fuck’s name is Cayla smirking at? There’s nothing endearing or funny about her husband reinforcing his image as a whiny douchenozzle who still harbors grudges from 35+ years ago…

  16. sgtsaunders

    The great Dildonicus speaks. Hey Les – it was shown several years ago that the beatdowns were staged. Remember how you frolicked in that janitor closet with …Jerome … how you puddled the floor before Jerome became all cuddly? Remember that shit? No? I do, and it was gross.

  17. $$$WESTVIEW ONCOLOGIST$$$

    The most hilarious part of this strip is the fact it assumes that nobody knew that Bull’s fucking name was Jerome. That’s how close the relationship is between these people. Brilliant work, Batiuk. Just fucking brilliant!

  18. HeyItsDave

    @hitorque – I’m going to go out on a limb here and speculate that “Funky” really us that dude’s given name.
    See, I don’t ever remember there being a mention of Funky’s parents before Act III, when we were first introduced to Mort as a failing dotard being sent into long-term storage at Bedside Manor. Later, we see him making a physical recovery but during the July 4th concert, he’s experiencing obvious dementia, thinking he’s up on stage performing in a rock band.
    Maybe ol’ Mort actually is an old rocker, burnt out and declining, but with an untold back story. He’s the right age for it, and it wouldn’t be out of character for a musician to give their kids unusual names (re: the Zappa family.)

  19. If the guy can’t even remember how to spell BLEAT from one day to the next, how can we expect him to maintain any other consistency? And why is Mort sitting in for Funky today?

  20. $$$WESTVIEW ONCOLOGIST$$$

    Crankshaft –

    You have to excuse the dispatcher, here. He or she is living in the Funkyverse. They get hundreds of reported calls of suicides by tree hanging. They have to conserve their resources, you know?

  21. I don’t know what everyone’s getting all worked up about. Just like Dinkle’s deafness and Mort’s dementia, Jerome’s CTE will be gone by spring.

  22. billytheskink

    Batiuk’s latest blog entry is all about how real comic writers just bullshit their way way through a story, rather than doing any kind of research.

    Real comic writers, of course, aren’t usually faced with writing to hypothetical questions like: “If someone were to offer you two thousand dollars to create a hero based in Africa, what’s the first thing that you would do?”

    Are there human beings somewhere who talk like this?

  23. Jimmy

    You all miss the point. Leslie is wondering how he can wring some money out of Bull’s condition by writing a book about it. He’s just verbally working out his opening line. “His name was Jerome, but he was a Bull.”

    @TFH: It’s actually heartening to see that even Les’ mom hated him.

  24. @TFH: Proof positive that, at one time, the strip could be funny.

  25. bigd1992

    Jerome Bettis is still a badass.

  26. Rusty Shackleford

    @beckoning

    I agree. Act 1 had lots of funny moments, then Batty got preachy like Johnston and it all went to crap as Batty “explored and researched” serious topics.