Mister-E Man

Link to today’s strip.

So, based on his parking spot, it looks like Mason went ahead and legally changed his name.   I guess that nagged at Tom Batiuk from the beginning (as most trivia seems to nag at him) as he realized that “Jarre” looks a lot more natural than “Jarr,” as well as a lot less stupid.  The name “Mason Jarre” is plenty stupid on its own, no need to help it along with dumb spelling.

That’s literally all I’ve got for this strip today.   The “Screw Bull Over But Good” arc has really drained my ability to make anything out of this crap.  If it’s all going to be rewards for Les, vindictiveness for the regulars, and bland filler for the rest, it’s really hard to look for anything when the hated-loved ones aren’t in the strip.  We all know an arc with Jarre is going to be filler. We also know there aren’t going to be any “sparks” on set–even the mishap mentioned by Mason is something we weren’t allowed to see (in typical fashion).  It’s a lot easier to draw people standing around and talking than it is to show something interesting happening.  Not, of course, that there’s ever anything interesting happening in this strip.

By the way, I think I’ve figured out why the shooting schedule is so haphazard for the “Starbuck Jones” thing.  They’re not shooting a movie.  They’re shooting a television series, despite what Tom Batiuk tells you.  (You know you can’t trust him to be honest with you.)

Probably a “SyFy Original Series” given the quality level.  Though I think the SyFy channel would balk at “Starbuck Jones.”  If you’re at all familiar with what the SyFy channel coughs up, that’s not a good portent for Tom Batiuk’s beloved comic book.


Filed under Son of Stuck Funky

21 responses to “Mister-E Man

  1. Epicus Doomus

    I guess Bull is dead and gone now and that whole cockamamie Frankie food truck scheme is on hold, as apparently Batiuk just couldn’t resist re-visiting THIS wildly unfunny premise about Cindy’s unhinged sexual jealousy regarding Mason’s co-star. Note how he never really resolves anything, it’s all just hanging there unfinished, waiting to be picked back up and rehashed at a moment’s notice when the ol’ inspiration just isn’t there. Which is all the time nowadays.

  2. HeyItsDave

    Again with the nagging. If my wife had been that insecure and needy, I never would have stuck around long enough to get married.

  3. billytheskink

    A pity. The explosions were the only worthwhile part of this story arc.

  4. spacemanspiff85

    Strips like this really make it obvious that Mason’s the new avatar for Batiuk, since Cindy is clearly modelled after all the girls who rejected him in high school.
    And I’d be real interested to see what happened to the back right tire of that car between the first and second panels.

  5. Sooooo,,,,,,,now that he’s finally avenged himself on the athletes and the big men on campus, all he’s got left is to punish the pretty girls who had the sense to avoid a petty, vindictive and clueless jerkass with entitlement issues. There are new depths to sink to, then.

  6. Rusty Shackleford

    I think Paul’s got it. Batty is just shifting his anger from the jocks to the pretty people. It’s bad enough it is Monday, I gotta read this crappy story.

    Are there any true Funky fans out there, or is this just a snark strip now?

  7. So – he didn’t know how to render a wheel from that visual perspective, so just decided to leave it off? It may be called writing , but it ain’t drawing.

  8. Frank Bolton

    Hey, billytheskink, I know that this is an unusual request but could you upload the entire set of ‘Jack Stropp is an unloved loser jock who wasted their life and has no talent’ strips? I have this strange need to immerse myself in nerd ressentiment.

  9. Frank Bolton

    Especially the ones where he was retired and had the trophy taken away.

  10. sgtsaunders

    Cindy’s going to nag herself right out of Hollywood.

  11. Rusty

    Who takes their girlfriend to the movie set every day? Insecure much, Cindy? Unemployed again?

  12. @spacemanspiff85: the wheel came off the car, rolled into the blue car parked to the right of Masonné Jar-Jarré’s, and in the fourth panel (cut because of space considerations) it lands on Cindy’s head, breaking her neck. Don’t worry, she doesn’t die; the spinal cord fracture merely leaves her a quadraplegic so Batty can throw that at the Pulitzer committee if Bull’s CTE doesn’t stick. It pays to diversify your misery portfolio!


    How much more better and sinister this strip would be if we just had the dialogue in the first panel only and no dialogue in the subsequent two panels.

  14. 1. Nothing to see here, just two Funkyverse adults having another forced conversation just to setup a lame pun we all saw coming from light years away…

    2. Why is Cindy immune to both aging and misfortune, which seems to hit all of her colleagues overly harshly?

    3. Despite Masone telling Cindy how much he LURVES her every 30 seconds like they were 15-year-olds, Cindy is about to turn into a jealous, paranoid, catfighting bitch once she spots Marianne Winters again, isn’t she? Hope the mooks from DMZ have their hidden cameras ready…

  15. Cindy’s blind jealousy and fear of aging is perhaps the most tired story premise in FW (and that’s a pretty high bar). She’s inexplicably accompanying Mason to work, even though she is allegedly otherwise employed in her own high profile career, just so she can whine about him being required to work with an attractive woman, and she’ll likely witness some love scene that will send her into a tantrum. I’m hoping at least Frankie and his sidekick show up to add some hilarious ineptitude or it’s going to be a long week.

  16. Professor Fate

    Yeah – there is nothing folks like better in a movie is when the male and female leads show absolutely not a single spark between them. That’s what we pay for not something like Casablanca.
    And it’s acting – but as others pointed out this is an utterly stupid plotline even by the standard of the current FW plotlines which have been mind bendingly stupid.
    Honestly I would rather read a Bull waits for death arc because at lest then something would happen – even if it was only another appearance of Masky McDeath.

  17. @sgtsaunders: God, I hope so… Cindy’s “I still look 28 and date a movie star living in a Malibu mansion while you don’t!!” -shtick would be insufferable even if she was still in her 20s, so for a woman in her 50s it’s beyond pathetic…

    I wouldn’t be so harsh on this relationship if Cindy could be happy without the constant jealous paranoia… Or if Masone had the slightest bit of character evolution beyond “typical Hollywood dimwitted, vapid celeb,” Or if the lengths Cindy went to snare Masone weren’t so goddamned unprofessional and creepy (if you reverse the genders you’ll see what I mean), or if I thought Cindy, you know, actually fucking LOVED Masone instead of using him as an ego stroke just to prove to herself and the world that she’s still “got it” and even at 54 can land any man she wants…

  18. @Professor Fate: Doesn’t matter — Cindy read on the innernettes (so you know it’s true) that Marianne Winters has a track record of falling in love/fucking all her leading men (Which is as shameless and moldy a trope as it gets… I’m almost surprised Batiuk didn’t say Marianne only got her big break through the “casting couch” ). Of course she isn’t currently married to or dating any of the previous leading men she worked with before, but facts are like kryptonite to the Funkyverse…

  19. Charles

    I suppose Batiuk would claim that Cindy is there because she’s doing that story about Cliff Anger, so she’s actually on the job as well. Instead, it’s just more evidence that he doesn’t know how anything works.

    Problem is that that’s a minor story at best for her employer, and since Cliff was merely a cameo, he should no longer be involved with the film, seeing as how he was on-set in Cleveland months ago. For a cameo, he shows up, shoots his scene and then leaves forever. In some cases, he could have left his car running for the whole endeavor. He’s not going to hang out on the set for months when he’s no longer needed. They wouldn’t want him there and he has his own life to lead. (such as it is)

    And moreover, since Cindy’s merely doing your standard human interest story for her job, that should have been finished months ago as well. From my own experience, a charity I work for had an interest story done about them by one of our local news programs. They showed up at 6 AM, set up, shot all their film and had their three ten minute stories for their three daily news programs all ready by 9 AM. They didn’t dawdle around at the charity for six months while assembling material for their 10 minute throwaway blurb that few viewers would remember an hour after seeing it.

  20. billytheskink

    Hey, billytheskink, I know that this is an unusual request but could you upload the entire set of ‘Jack Stropp is an unloved loser jock who wasted their life and has no talent’ strips? I have this strange need to immerse myself in nerd ressentiment.

    Sure, see below. “the End of Jack Stropp” was a 3 week arc that ran in November 1996, right after the Les-Lisa Hallo-wedding. There are a couple strips missing, but the narrative should still make sense. I’m linking to a lot of images here, I hope that is not an issue. Site operators please help me if it is, thanks in advance.

  21. Comic Book Harriet

    @Billytheskink Thanks for putting these up.
    Holy cow over the top! And yet somehow happier and more wistfully pleasant than current Funkyverse. Every bad thing that happens is a hundred times worse than anything now, but SEEMS less depressing because of how it is handled.