St. Anger

So having served his six months in the joint, Cliff decided his acting career was over and retreated to New York to spend sixty years awaiting rescue by those meddling Westview kids. Thankfully, other blacklistees, such as Lena Horne, Orson Welles, Arthur Miller and others, managed to pick up the pieces and go on to continued success. Cliff basically blacklisted himself.

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15 Comments

Filed under Son of Stuck Funky

15 responses to “St. Anger

  1. Epicus Doomus

    Of course the funniest thing about this is that it took Cindy’s “friends” like two seconds to find that annoying old coot while Vera had approximately sixty years. Maybe she just didn’t try very hard, or perhaps she’s an idiot. Who knows? Let’s just hope that he got this laughably awful little fantasy tangent and his moronic pun-based character out of his system for the time being. It looks that way based on this patented Batom soft feeble plop of a resolution, but with this nut you never know. I’m sure we’ll be seeing Cliff again soon enough, probably when BanTom feels the need to address Prohibition or something.

  2. spacemanspiff85

    This is the Funky Winkerbean philosophy in a nutshell. “It got hard, so I didn’t try anymore and just sat around feeling bad for myself until someone came along and did something for me.”
    Also, drawing backgrounds sure is hard.

  3. Gerard Plourde

    Left unanswered is how he supported himself for those intervening sixty years.

    Also, if his snarky answers to the committee represent his usual demeanor in professional settings, then the blacklist may have provided a convenient excuse for directors who didn’t want to have to deal with him on set.

  4. In the Batiukverse, they listen to his tale of self-induced woe and treat him like a big fucking hero. In reality, they’d act like mean people who ‘bully’ Batiuk and ask “What are you, some kind of imbecile? Why should we care about a lazy idiot who just gave up and sat on his ass feeling sorry for himself.?” Reality, you see, skews snarkertroll.

  5. Rusty Shackleford

    It’s not blacklisting if you are untalented and didn’t make the cut. Meanwhile over in Crapshaft, we find out that Montoni is 200 years old as one of the old ladies remininices about having rigatoni montoni during the holiday season. We also found out they decorate the front windows for Christmas. I suppose this means half of the tables are unusable during the holiday season.

  6. Don’t you threaten us, Tom Batiuk. From the official Funky Winkerbean blog:

    Next year promises to be a busy one and it’s going to start early. In January, you’re going to be hearing about an [sic] very cool project involving the Batom Comics covers that have been appearing in Funky over the last couple of years and the 10th anniversary of Lisa’s Story.

  7. bayoustu

    Uh-oh- Mr. Director Man there in the masthead looks mighty unhappy! Time for one of Westview’s denizens to cluelessly wander onto the set and unwittingly improve Starbuck Jones… yet again!

  8. Rusty Shackleford

    Oh God, the tenth anniversary of Lisa. Sigh, like we don’t hear about her every day of every year.

  9. @spacemanspiff85 – Right on the money, though as we’ve seen, something becoming difficult isn’t even necessary any more. All it has to involve is the slightest amount of work for someone to say “I can’t do this. Whine, whine, whine, whine, whine, whine, whine, whine, whine–oh, you did it for me. Still, my effort was the main one.”

  10. Hitorque

    TB wussed out– A proper Funkyverse ending would have been:

    “After my release I went back home expecting someone to tell me when it was safe to work again… But nobody came for 64 years until the vapid Newsblonde broke into my apartment…. In retrospect, I’m glad I didn’t shoot her on sight!!”

  11. Hitorque

    So Vera wasn’t blacklisted; do we get to hear her truncated life story, or does nobody give a shit because she only exists as Cliffe’s love interest and evidently neither of them dated or married in the ensuing 64 years?

  12. Gerard Plourde

    “So Vera wasn’t blacklisted; do we get to hear her truncated life story, or does nobody give a shit because she only exists as Cliffe’s love interest and evidently neither of them dated or married in the ensuing 64 years?”

    Actually, Cliff’s shielding of Vera prevented US intelligence from discovering that she was the head of KGB operations in the US and her efforts resulted in the theft of the atomic bomb secrets, the rise of Castro, multiple insurgencies in Latin America and Marion Zacharski’s 1980’s theft of classified documents detailing Hughes Aircraft radar and weapons systems and material on the then-new Patriot and Phoenix missiles, the enhanced version of the Hawk air-to-air missile, radar instrumentation for the F-15 fighter, F-16, “stealth radar” for the B-1 and Stealth bomber, an experimental radar system being tested by the U.S. Navy, submarine sonar, and the M1 Abrams tank.

  13. DOlz

    Gerard Plourde, You forgot she was also responsible for New Coke, Crystal Pepsi, (shudder) Zima and King Features hiring TB. That lady has an awful lot to answer for.

  14. $$$WESTVIEW ONCOLOGIST$$$

    So essentially, Cliff Anger’s career was damaged..because he fucking decided to stop acting. Yeah. That’s what I am getting from this. Great lesson there, Batiuk. I look forward to reading more crap like this in your Lisa’s Story 10th Anniversary arc.

  15. Oh, right. Saint Dead Lisa: the other annoying twit who we’re supposed to venerate for giving up and whining.