First Thing You Learn Is That You Always Gotta Wait

Link to today’s strip.

So, Funky and Holly are off to a “super clinic” which, in the limited research I did, is a place where they focus less on treating disease and more on maintaining health.  Given that they are two of the unhealthiest looking people in the strip, this is probably a good idea, but it’s also a given that Funky would rather eat donuts than exercise so I’m not sure why he’s concerned about his health at all.

This episode is a very good example of a three-panel strip being stretched past the breaking point to fit it into a Sunday slot.  Tom Batiuk could easily have used some of those panels to explain the context beyond “annual physicals.”  An “annual physical” sounds like something a local doctor could do–why are they flying to Dallas for this?  Why Dallas in particular?  Gotta get to that 50th, I guess.

Is Cory still living with them?  I guess so.  Being in the army must have hardened him to withstand the tub of misery and failure that is Funky; I’m pretty sure I couldn’t stay in the same house with that guy.  The negativity would make me wish my health would deteriorate rapidly.  If he is living with them, wouldn’t he already know about this trip?  You know, like, several weeks ago they could have told him they were going to be out of town, he was going to be on his own for a few days, things like that.

Actually, I can fully believe that no one in this house talks to anyone else.  It just seems out of whack to be the normal state.

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…sorry about that.  This strip is so boring I fell asleep and knocked my head on the keyboard.  Say, do you suppose that’s how Tom Batiuk comes up with his jokes?

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14 Comments

Filed under Son of Stuck Funky

14 responses to “First Thing You Learn Is That You Always Gotta Wait

  1. Epicus Doomus

    “Hey Epicus, where ya going?”

    “To my annual podiatrist appointment in Vancouver.”

    “Don’t they have podiatrists in New Jersey?”

    “(Smart-alecky smirk)”

    If you want to do a one-off airport gag then do an airport gag. There’s no need to contrive up stupid scenarios like this. I guess this is a plug or something because I can’t see any earthly reason why these two miserable sad-sacks need to fly to Texas for a yearly physical.

  2. spacemanspiff85

    I always thought Montoni’s wasn’t a huge moneymaker. So Funky doesn’t really strike me as the kind of guy who would be able to literally fiy across the country for a physical.

  3. Jim in Wisc.

    So, they’re making a 2-1/2 hour flight to Texas just to get a physical exam? So we’re to assume the doctors at the world-renowned Cleveland Clinic won’t treat these two putzes anymore?

  4. billytheskink

    I’ve heard a lot of different things when people obviously don’t want to spend time with me. “I have to wash my hair.” “I’m taking my cat to the vet.” “My third cousin once removed is having her bat-mitzvah.” “Yeah, I’m doing, uh… something else.” “Buzz off, freckles!” I’ve heard ’em all, or so I thought.

    “We’re going to the super clinic in Dallas for our annual physicals” is definitely a new one.

  5. spacemanspiff85

    Sounds like code for “swingers’ convention” if I ever heard it.

  6. So,,,,,we have two people we don’t really care about doing something that makes little sense so we can try to decipher a punchline that is supposed to reference an attribute we’ve never heard of. So far, it’s a typical Batiuk strip.

  7. What he said, yeah. Googling super clinics nets items about the Australian govt. medical system and soccer clinics here in the states. So WTF, Tom? I’m hoping we are about to get an arc about health care in the US and some wry political commentary. Maybe small town hospitals closing? But my instincts tell me its just another term he heard that he was determined to use…

  8. Rusty Shackleford

    @jim. Was thinking the same. Lots of people fly here to Cleveland for medical treatments, etc. The Cleveland Clinic is one of the top medical facilities in the world.

    At least Batty is done tipping the felt tip to his OMEA buddies.

  9. Gerard Plourde

    I wonder if Batty is making a reference to some life extension program like Princeton Longevity, whose ads run regularly on satellite radio. If so, the thought that he might be into this is mind-boggling. Could he be aiming for a fifty-year award for doing Crankskaft as well?

  10. Rusty

    Nothing obvious comes up on Google, but you know damn well Batiuk had to go to Dallas for a physical, so here we are. Maybe they can eat Conflict Chocolate while they wait to board.

  11. Rusty Shackleford

    Well, last year Batty had a physical in Dallas!

  12. Double Sided Scooby Snack

    Wait, hold the phone. Are we saying that Batty actually KNOWS of a place outside of Ohio?? I remember being shocked when angry divorcee Lynn Johnston acknowledged there was a world outside of Canaduh when the pasty Patterson family took off for Florida. (That’s in “The United States.”) Then I learned that Florida is jam-packed with Canadians during the Winter, and they think it’s just a very warm place in Canaduh.

    Nothing good can come of this. Look for Corky to rob them blind while they’re away. They’ll come home to an empty house – not a stick of furniture left. Just a note – “Hahaha! See you around, SUCKERS!!”

    Or… or MUCH better: Corky stumbles into Montoni’s, where Leslie the Goatee Boy has taken over the fryer and Cindy and MasonnE JarrEE are working the counter.

    Les: “Corky! Put a mask on!”

    Corky: “I have a message… Funky Winkerbean’s plane… was shot down… over the Mississippi River… It spun in. There were no survivors.”

    Les: “Yay! Free pizza!”

  13. Hitorque

    So what’s the joke here? That Funky shows up really early for flights? That Holly needs to remind us all of a TSA policy that has been in place for 14 years? That there aren’t evidently any good doctors in reasonable driving distance?

  14. Double Sided Scooby Snack

    Hitorque — They have doctors, but they’re all about the same level of competence as Dead Saint Lisa’s doc, who mixed up her medical records with those of a three year old cocker spaniel.