Assets to Assets, Funk to Funky

Presenting the last panel from Wednesday’s, Tuesday’s, and today’s strips:

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Funky cannot seem to shake his morbid delusion. Once the discussion switches over from pizzeria humor to the somber minutiae of trusts and probate law, the gravity of the business at hand preys on Funky’s feeble mind until he’s convinced that he’s already died. And that’s not even the bad part: it’s starting to sink in that his afterlife will be spent in this room with a lawyer and his wife.

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16 Comments

Filed under Son of Stuck Funky

16 responses to “Assets to Assets, Funk to Funky

  1. Epicus Doomus

    Hey, remember the time pool arc? It’d have been really funny to have had Lisa asking these questions back then, right? A lot funnier than this, at least.

  2. Don’t want to honk my own horn, but man, I remember doing a David Bowie themed entry. Don’t remember when, of course, as Funky Winkerbean stuff tends to evaporate quickly, but it was before he (David Bowie, not Funky Winkerbean) died and had a lot more research ‘n’ stuff than Tom Batiuk has done for many, many years.

    Funny, isn’t it, that the folks on this blog do a lot more work than the creator of the strip. No, I don’t mean funny “ha ha.”

  3. Funny, isn’t it, that the folks on this blog do a lot more work than the creator of the strip.

    It’s a puzzlement!

  4. the dreamer

    Funky will reveal on his deathbed his secret love, who is Lisa! It will turn out that he and Lisa had an affair in high school and that *he* is Darrin’s biological father, and that they renewed their fling years later (keeping it secret both times so as to not crush Les) and that he is also Summer’s father. Summer and Darrin are thus full siblings and not half siblings

  5. Max Power

    A week at the “Super Clinic” and now a week of setting up a trust for the Winkerbean Pizza Empire. Next week: Holly and Funky go coffin shopping.

  6. spacemanspiff85

    What exactly did Funky think was going to happen at this meeting? Why is his mind just now being blown?

  7. Epicus Doomus

    “FW is “stripped” of all humor.”
    “More like “junky” Winkerbean.”
    “The first three letters in funeral are F-U-N”

    I couldn’t Batiukify myself down even if I tried. I just don’t have the ability to be that unfunny, I guess. The really hard part is trying to find the humor (or outrage) in the especially awful strips, which actually happens a real, real lot now that I think about it.

  8. billytheskink

    Well no wonder Funky is so preoccupied by his hypothetical death, the shadowy visage of Masky McDeath is lurking on the sidewalk just outside the window. Has he come for Funky?

    What I’m confused about is why Unfrozen Plainman Lawyer here is still explaining how a trust works. His first words in yesterday’s strip were “So that’s basically how a trust would work if Funky passes first.”

  9. Double Sided Scooby Snack

    TWEEEEEEEET! Throwing the yellow flag! 15 yard penalty for doing precisely the SAME joke two days in a row.

    Setup: Estate Planning Guy presents scenario of Flunky dying.

    Joke: Flunky reacts as if EPG knows what will happen.

    This was dumb as a sack of anvils the first time, because any adult who doesn’t need to be institutionalized can tell the difference between “what if” and “I know exactly what’s going to happen, and here it is.” It’s utterly nonsensical, and not in a humorous way, that Flunky would ask these questions. Then BatHack dips into the same well a second time. Lame. F-. See me after class.

  10. Gerard Plourde

    Beyond the annoying and unbelievable stupidity of Funky’s clueless remarks, there is the question, why are they considering a trust?

    According to this strip, Funky, who is married to Holly, holds assets independent of her (I assume this would be whatever stake he has in Montoni’s which, being a business entity is probably either an LLC or a corporation). If the goal is to avoid probate, why not just gift her half interest, either as a joint tenant with right of survivorship or, since they’re married, by making it property held as tenants by the entireties. This would avoid probate. if Ahia law mirrors Pennsylvania, there is already no inheritance or estate tax due on spousal transfers in or out of probate. Property not held in the business, their house and cars, for example, would presumably already be jointly held.

  11. spacemanspiff85

    @epicusdoomus:
    To write like Batiuk, you need to know what a joke is and how to write one, and then not bother to do so. Literally every day of Crankshaft follows that formula.

  12. Odd how Holly reacts to this morbid idiocy in the same bone-weary manner that she does to his stupid jokes. She’s probably wondering why she’s gotta put up with the dummy.

  13. Think I’ve got it. TB turns 70 in a month, and like a lot of folks that age, friends and family have been dying, some far earlier than expected. So Tom and his wife visited a lawyer recently (a year ago) to make sure all matters are in order, and a few words or moments stuck with him.

  14. Funky’s auditioning for the lead role in CME’s remake of “The Sixth Sense.”

    Of course, the twist ending is a little bit different: yes, he sees dead people, but in truth everybody in Worstview is dead and only he can see them.

  15. Smirks 'R Us

    greatest thread title ever TFH! I stand in line.

  16. ian'sdrunkenbeard

    “‘Flow to Holly?’ Are we talking about liquid assets?”