Seriously. I may be closer in age to Funky than to Dinkle, but no, Lefty: I’ve never had a passport. Never needed one. You know, not everyone goes jetting off to Iraquistan to adopt war orphans. Hey, what the hell ever happened to your daughter Rana anyway?
I may not have a passport, but you know what I do have? A driver’s license. And every four years I have to renew it; and unless there’s a long line, I manage to accomplish this in one visit, and usually without drawing sneering contempt from clerks and state troopers. I can’t imagine getting a passport is much more involved than that: as long as one is able to produce a couple supporting documents and is prepared to fork over the fee, it certainly should not entail “a few months” worth of paperwork. But hey, readers love the “older people hate dealing with bureaucracy” trope, so let’s go back to that well one more time.