Doofy Stars

A new week, a new arc! SosfdavidO here, and whoa, who is Mason Jarr out with in today’s strip!? Cindy better not catch him with this much younger curvy, attractive blonde woman or she’s going to blow a fuse!

Oh, wait, that’s right. This woman walking with Mason it none other than “Eternally 30” Cindy Summers, who is now, thanks to the magic of Tombat’s airbrush, now basically half Funky’s age.


I’m sucking out your lifeforce as you stand there…


Filed under Son of Stuck Funky

11 responses to “Doofy Stars

  1. Epicus Doomus

    Blech. They’ve been “rolling out” this movie for like a year now, even as they’re filming MORE of them. And now everyone’s taking a break for Comic Con, which is sort of like BanTom’s Ramadan or Lent, only more spiritually meaningful. And on top of all that, it appears he’ll be spending most of the week showing the characters arriving at Comic Con, which means it’ll go on and on for weeks if not years.

  2. spacemanspiff85

    Batiuk seems to think that this is automatically compelling because Mason’s a movie star, I guess. Because he hasn’t even tried to write anything remotely funny or interesting here. It’s like in a sitcom, when they have a famous guest star. I assume we’re supposed to react with squeals of “MASON! HOLY CRAP IT’S MASON JARRE IN FUNKY WINKERBEAN!”. Except it’s a comic strip so there’s nothing remotely interesting or exciting about it. Batiuk could write a story of himself hanging out with Tarzan and the Flash if he wanted to.
    “Hey, look, Darin! It’s Tom Batiuk, and his best friend and sidekick, The Flash!”
    At this rate, I’d be more surprised if that didn’t happen, honestly.

  3. billytheskink

    A movie star and his de-aging fiancé walking out of a limousine into a luxury hotel…

    Judge Parker is more relatable than this.

  4. Gerard Plourde

    So according to BanTom, Mason Jarre and the rest of the cast are currently filming some Starbuck Jones project (unclear if it’s still the first movie or a sequel), but can take enough time off to spend multiple days in San Diego to attend ComicCon rather than just enough time to do the panel discussion and then head back to LA to work on the movie.

    And the iconic roof on the Hotel del Coronado is bright red, not cedar shake brown.

  5. But if you were to point that out to him, you’d either get idiot smugness or whining that his version should be how things work. Either way, it’s “Old Man Yells At Cloud” all the way to 2022.

  6. Al Nonymous

    They’re certainly arriving early. Unless it has a different start date in the Funkyverse, Comic Con this year doesn’t start until the 20th. Does that mean they’re going to spend the better part of three weeks away friom their normal lives?

  7. I guess Mr. Batiuk has finally realized that his characters are uniformly boring, so he’s going to write about things that interest him instead. So it’ll be all comic books, all the time.

  8. Hitorque

    1. Cindy reminds us all for the millionth time that Masone is a rich+famous movie star and HE BELONGS TO HER SO ALL WOMEN WITHIN A 100-YARD RADIUS BE WARNED! Luckily this is the funkyverse comicon so it’s only old ass fat guys instead of 17-year-old girls with impossibly oversized and perky tits in slutty cosplay outfits that would normally get them arrested anywhere outside of the event…

    2. Don’t Tell Cindy that the “real” stars don’t stay in San Diego for comicon lest too much nerd exposure hurts their q-rating. Real stars arrive by helicopter for the two hours they’re contractually obligated to be there and get out…

    3. Still a better comics geek story than the motherfucking Flash museum…

  9. count of tower grove

    @Hitorque, motherfucking Flash museum!


    Having played one comic book character, Masone Jarr appears determined to win the role of the Joker in panel 2..

  11. dougputhoff

    Yesterday Fatty McBimbo looks to be 70, and Amputee McBimbo looks like a teenage boy. Today Blondie McBimbo looks to be 25. Rich Burchett seems to be following Batiuk in the “Just didn’t care” department.