Cinema Sins of the Father

SosfdavidO here, with the biggest shovel I could find because even for Tombat’s writing, today’s strip reeks of absolute bullshit.

So what age is Mason now? I’m going to be kind.. KIND, mind you, and peg him at 32. He’s probably more like 35 but for the sake of argument, he’s 32.

Now it’s time for some simple math, courtesy of Wikipedia.

List of Serial Movies by Decade

Perusing the list, one can see that the last gasp of serialized movies happened the mid-50s and the end of the space soap operas like Starbucks Jones ended around 1953, when all of America collectively got a cowboy fetish.

So if Cliff was 32 in say, 1952, that would mean he was born in 1920. NINETEEN F***ing TWENTY. That would make him just shy of 98 years old. Does the grey haired dude in panel 2 look 98? Or even 78!?

Maybe it’s the whole thing is CG and Cliff just had to croak out a few lines but even looking at him strolling around the streets without as much as a walker is some Grade A Bullshit Tommy is slinging there.

Maybe we can pretend the time jumps that hit Westview every couple of decades work in reverse wherever the hell Cliff Anger came from. Was that New York?



Filed under Son of Stuck Funky

9 responses to “Cinema Sins of the Father

  1. Epicus Doomus

    So is Mason expressing dismay over having a nintey-eight year old man playing his father or is it starry-eyed wonder? I have to assume the former, as Cindy is flashing one of those wry smirks FW was founded upon, but I don’t know for sure. Sure is one hell of an observation though.

    “Sawbuck Jones”…Starbuck’s crazy space cowboy uncle who’s always ten bucks shy. Seriously, Cliff is looking awfully formidable for a nearly one-hundred year old man and his “bit part” during the “Earth scenes” they filmed in “Cleveland” seems like it happened an eternity ago…which it did. FW chronologies are always very…flexible, let’s say, so you can’t really trust your memory and why would you, given that the guy who writes it can’t be bothered to care? Maybe it happened, maybe it didn’t but who cares, what’s happening RIGHT NOW is all that matters…sometimes…but even that varies. Which is a pretty novel approach for a serialized comic strip to take but then again FW has always been unafraid to flaunt convention like that.

  2. You know what’s really depressing? That most people–most normal people, I mean–would say, “That’s the wrong color for Captain America! He should be mostly blue!”

    And there’s a COMIC BOOK explanation for his red costume. Like, he’s from Earth 994 or something.

    Good God, Mr. Batiuk…just end it all. Stop sullying your remaining years. Just rename the strip “The Insufferables” and go from there.

  3. Gerard Plourde

    Continuity has been a weak point for some time. Thanks to the link provided by Hitorque yesterday, we can see that established star Masone was passed over for the part of Starbuck Jones in a project that was occurring in August of 2014, when Les was experiencing angst over “Lust for Lisa” with its unique version of “kill fee”.

  4. billytheskink

    The time jumps, they’re… they’re getting more frequent, more… more random. They’re running in reverse… affecting isolated individuals now… I fear another time pool is nigh… *gasp*

    (futuristic time police video logging device smartphone suddenly turns into a VHS camcorder, and then a wax cylinder. Dinkle shows up selling band candy, Lisa lives and then dies again, Rana appears because why not, and we are made to relive early days of Batom Comics)

  5. Failing that, everyone can wake up in Bobby Ewing’s shower and talk about the weird-ass dream Early Act II Funky had after eating expired pepperoni.

  6. Max Power

    So if you go to ComiCon you can use the same entrance as Movie franchise “superstars” and nicely dressed Red Scare dissidents?

  7. 1. Masone illustrates once again why he’s too fucking dumb to breathe, much less remember his lines on a daily basis… Were it not for his leading man good looks, Masone would be mopping up puke and urine at a special needs school for a living…

    2.My question from yesterday still stands: Is Marianne Winters making an appearance or not? And don’t give me any bullshit about how she’s shy and can’t meet with the public/media…

    3. Say all you want about Batiuk passing off 95-year-old Cliffe as 68, but either way, at least he still *LOOKS* the part… Cindy on the other hand? Since Funky’s birth year is officially established at 1964, and Cindy is in his graduating class, she is at least 53 years old but regularly rocks bikinis, minco miniskirts and little black “fuck me” dresses without a hint of wrinkle, sag, or cellulite… Nevermind the fact that *EVERYBODY* in Cindy’s cohort has had some kind of serious ongoing health problem, ranging from mild to debilitating to life-threatening; and she’s still got the health record of a 21-year-old…

    4. Can somebody PLEASE tell Batiuk that for the casual outsider, *this* is what Comicon is supposed to be about, and not some old-assed neurotic losers:

  8. Comic Book Harriet

    @beckoning chasm. I think the Real Life explanation for the Red! Captain America is a colorist getting Capt mixed up with The Flash.

    In universe, Cliffe Angere seems very pleased to see a Red Captain America. McCarthy was RIGHT!

  9. SpacemanrIff85

    Just when I thought “Starbuck Jones” was as lame as it could be, here we have “Warbuck Jones”.