No Cause for Alarm

(Thinks to herself, “Goddammit, there he goes again, trying to dial Montoni’s on the alarm keypad…“) “Uhhh, what are you doing, hon?”

Yeah, definitely a Bull move, thinking that his old record being broken would require him having to duly update the alarm passcode. But since we know that Bull’s mental facilities are in decline, our first thought is “Wouldn’t that make the passcode a little harder for him to remember?” Another example of how TB, in his quest for relevancy, undermines his attempts at lighthearted humor.


Filed under Son of Stuck Funky

21 responses to “No Cause for Alarm

  1. spacemanspiff85

    Um, it’s like the second week of the season. He’s going to have to update that code at least every game, if not every time that kid gets the ball.

  2. Epicus Doomus

    See, it’s OK to poke fun at Bull’s degenerative brain disorder, as he’s just a dumb jock and as we know, a certain someone never, ever lets those old fictional high school memories go. Lisa’s cancer, Dinkle’s forgotten hearing loss, Funky’s alcoholism…those were “serious” issues but the dumb jock’s declining cognitive abilities? Light-hearted chuckles abound. Sigh.

  3. billytheskink

    Alarm system? For what, Bull’s St. Louis Football Cardinals training camp helmet that has a smidge of Jim Otis’ blood on it?

    I would pity the burglar who hits Bull and Linda’s house.

  4. I keep trying to keep this strip out of the “stupid” category, but the creator insists. So, having his record broken was NOT a big deal, except for today, when it apparently is HUGE.

    Yeah, Batiuk, don’t let your hatred for the folks in your life interfere with a…well, I suppose it qualifies as a “joke.”

    Doesn’t speak well for you eventual Wikipedia entry, but hey, hate is very powerful.

  5. Gerard Plourde

    I wonder if Bull’s CTE is going to mostly disappear like Dinkle’s deafness and Mort’s dementia.

  6. The Nelson Puppet

    Hey are those SWORDS or UMBRELLAS on the masthead? They look like ANCIENT SWORDS!

  7. ian'sdrunkenbeard

    I wish Charles Bukowski could guest write on FW. Imagine the dialog and the plotlines.

  8. And the worst of it is that nothing is getting better. Something else terrible is coming next week because Batiuk is bad at what he does.

  9. Rusty Shackleford

    So was the artist deliberately trying to make Bull look stupid or is the tongue supposed to make it look like he is concentrating?

    Either way, panel 1 is a keeper.

    • countoftowergrove

      William Bendix’s tell in The Babe Ruth Story when Babe was gonna throw a curve. It was spotted by William Frawley.

  10. sgtsaunders

    Yeah. The passcode goes from 10 to 14.

  11. Double Sided Scooby Snack

    Am I the only one here looking at this and saying IT MAKES NO FRUGGIN SENSE?? His alarm code was… wait for it… the number of yards he ran for in HIGH SCHOOL. “Peaked in high school” much, Batty? Ah, but that was a school record, on a team known for getting its butt whipped, so how great a record could it have been?

    Fast forward about 40 years. Some other kid runs for more yards. “Oh, it’s not a school record anymore! Can’t be my alarm code now.” And this kid — an all-time top athlete at this school, likely a senior now, but we’ve never heard of him? How’d THAT happen, BatContrived?

    Does Batty expect that to be logical, or is he trying to show us what whacky and totally insane ideas CTE Boys come up with? So get this — The new alarm code isn’t another number these idiots could remember. It’s “the new record.” Because their alarm code needs to be equal to the Worstview (Ohio) High School football team’s rushing record. Never mind that the record will change every time this kid runs the ball until he graduates. And the season has just started. Gonna change it every week? Why am I even asking this??

    In conclusion, Bullsquat’s record is gone. Change the alarm code! Bull, as of today, you no longer matter. You may die now. Seriously, NOW.

    I’ll bet Lisa would have liked this.

    • Double Sided Scooby Snack

      Re: The kid who broke the record. Like nearly all of Batty’s black characters, he has no name.

      Cayla doesn’t count. You know why.

  12. spacemanspiff85

    You know, I’m sure Batiuk thought “Bull gets CTE” would be his ticket to relevance again, since it’s a Very Serious Issue and all. Of course he immediately ruined it by demonstrating he knows nothing about CTE and didn’t do any research, since no living person has been diagnosed with it. Also, the fact that he has literally used it for nothing but “Bull is a moron” gags is appalling.
    “Oh boy! There’s a trendy news issue that causes mental problems! I can exploit this for cheap drama, get attention, and make fun of sportos! Go run those mental bases, Lord of Language Batiuk! You sure knocked it out of the park this time!”

    • Rusty Shackleford

      As with other issues and causes, Batty believes if he writes a crappy story around said issue, then it is a great work of art to be celebrated.

      The rest of us just see day after day of boring nonsense.

  13. countoftowergrove

    I think this is the first time I’ve seen the SoSF splash panel use that day’s strip. It’s usually a point of at least five days’ anticipation!