Zanzibarf

Tom Batiuk is a 14 year old. Because he clearly seems to think smoking and drinking makes you a badass, which I’m pretty sure that stopped being a thing in high school. A literal 14 year old boy writing this strip would explain why it’s so fixated on comics and has such a creepy portrayal of the female characters. Also, teaching an animal to smoke and drink isn’t awesome, it’s abuse.

Oh, and Cliff absolutely has the hots for Zanzibar in the last panel. Note the leer and the fact that his right hand is clearly under the table.

25 Comments

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25 responses to “Zanzibarf

  1. Jimmy

    Yeah, that last panel is definitely creepy, but it would be great is we find out this chimp framed Butter whatshisname for murder and Cliff for being a Commie. “I thought I could trust that diaper-wearing bastard!”

    Then, he later orchestrated the Kennedy assassination for the Cubans.

    This strip could be almost as good as Zippy the Pinhead with just a slight adjustment in tone.

  2. The REAL killer

    BTW, I didn’t see a link tonight. I just erased the 6 and put a 7 in the URL from yesterday.

  3. Epicus Doomus

    So essentially Butter was trying to kill Zanzibar? That sounds about right. Cliff took in a drunken chain-smoking monkey and he’s only telling that story now? It’s by FAR the most interesting thing about him.

    • Rusty Shackleford

      This is just another ripoff of The Simpsons and Mr Teenie. But once again, The Simpsons was trying to be funny and succeeded. Batiuk is trying to be creative and failed.

  4. 14 year old? More like a five-year-old with ADD. “I’m gonna tell you a story about a silent film star who was big in the, um, 40’s and he was fat and hurt himself but had a carousel and a monkey and all the guns! Then one day at a party, this lady was shot and they think the guy did it! And Sam Spade figured out he didn’t, but he couldn’t tell who did, so the guy went to jail, but even though he was a big star he had no friends. But one guy knew him a little and said he’d go ahead and like, take his pet monkey home, and the monkey was totally awesome cos he could smoke cigars and drink all the Cokes he wanted to, maybe even the other guy got him a Pepsi once in a while, and then there were comic books, and oh! I forgot there was a mean guy who ran a newspaper but he only was mean for like a minute, but he had a magic first name that could change whenever he wanted it to….”

  5. louder

    In BatHack’s world: Chimp > women. When was the last time a woman was described in such glowing terms? It really is a pathetic comic.

  6. billytheskink

    In between filming hit movie after hit movie, Butter Brinkel also found time to be the best animal trainer of his generation. No wonder Cliff was his only friend…

  7. Epicus Doomus

    See, the 1940s were a simpler, more innocent time, back before animal sanctuaries came along and spoiled all the fun. Back then chimpanzees drank and smoked, lions rode on trolley cars, bears did the Charleston and, if you were really lucky, you might see a bevy of otters swallowing live goldfish at the Army-Notre Dame game. Back then cirrhosis and emphysema were the leading causes of death among showbiz-oriented monkeys. Bonzo smoked three packs of Lucky Strikes a day and Mr. Jiggs was a chronic alcoholic who ended up homeless and living under a freeway overpass.

    • Mr. Jiggs used to perform at the July 4th extravaganza in my hometown of Kearny, NJ, and in later years, opened for the Grateful Dead. That didn’t go over well.

      • Epicus Doomus

        Mr. Jiggs once performed at my grade school, sometime in the early 1970s, a slightly different crowd than the Dead used to draw. It was absolute madness, a near riot situation in fact. Jiggs really knew how to fire up a crowd, I’ll tell you that. I seriously doubt any modern elementary school would allow a cigarette-smoking chimpanzee to ride a modified minibike in a school gym full of nine year olds but it was the 1970s, back before lawyers and “safety” became popular. Easily my number one school memory, no question.

  8. comicbookharriet

    So Butter Brinkle bought a chimp, who was likely poached as a baby from the hunters who killed his mother, and then made that wild animal addicted to nicotine and alcohol for his own amusement? Remind me again why we’re supposed to feel bad he was accused of murder?

  9. Paul Jones

    You just know that when it’s pointed out that most people hate the idea of teaching a wild animal to smoke and drink for someone’s warped and awful amusement, Batiuk’s hackles will get up because stunted people don’t love some horrifying crap that impresses a warped and awful man.

  10. ian'sdrunkenbeard

    “Yeah, that chimp liked his Scotch. Particular he was, too. He almost tore my head off when I accidentally bought Glenfiddich instead of Glenmorangie! Let that be a lesson to you, girlie. You don’t mess with a chimp’s booze! Don’t get Speyside if he only drinks Highland!

    “He was knocking down about a fifth a day, and I was no slouch myself. I knew he was popping bennies and goofballs, too, but I didn’t really get concerned until I caught him shooting up. When I confronted him, he moved in with Hedda Hopper. I thought we had something special, and then I found out he had been schtupping her the whole time!

    “After that I surpassed him in every vice. If you could drink it, smoke it, pop it, or shoot it, I did. I woke up about a year later and I found myself on a tramp steamer bound for Moscow. That chimp was the love of my life. Oy vey.”

  11. Gerard Plourde

    “So, as we bid fond farewell to Butter Brinkel in San Quentin, our spirits rise as we return to Hollywood to behold the wonder of Zanzibar, the alcoholic, nicotine-addicted chimpanzee.” (Apologies to Lowell Thomas)

  12. Maxine of Arc

    Chimps aren’t monkeys; it’s horrific to teach them to smoke and drink; they are NOT PETS; an adult male chimp will straight up murder you. That aside: well, if Butter taught him all that (horrific) stuff, then he probably taught him how to play with The World’s Largest Gun Collection, and the chimp did it, and I hate this storyline.

    • Gerard Plourde

      I think we can safely add “chimpanzees” as another category TomBa has no clue about.

      • Maxine of Arc

        How long was this APE supposedly living with Cliff? Chimps can live 50 years, although what typically happens is that they reach sexual maturity and make it clear that they are not pets, wreck the house and possibly cause people serious harm, and are surrendered long before that. If Cliff was close enough pals with Butter to get his APE, nobody interviewed him about the crime before this? Investigators, for example?

        • Batgirl

          Also, in 1940, wasn’t Cliff about to get work on a tramp steamer that went to Russia, according to his testimony before McCarthy? Did Zanzibar go with him and stay in the Motherland?

  13. Charles

    The thing that gets me about this is just how bad Batiuk is at the workings of telling a story.

    Cliff’s talking about Zanzibar because Batiuk knows that the shocking revelation being saved is that Zanzibar shot Virginia Poole or whatever her name was. But since we’ve seen that Cindy, terrible documentarian that she is, has no idea about any of this before Cliff blurts it out on camera, has no idea where Cliff is going with this. *From Cindy’s point of view*, Cliff has rambled on to talking about Butter’s chimp for no apparent reason. They completely skipped over Butter’s trial. They didn’t talk about the prosecution’s theory of the case. They didn’t talk about the defense’s response to that theory. They didn’t talk about judge instruction or jury deliberations. They didn’t talk about the victim at all. They didn’t talk about what Cliff’s friend Butter was going through when he was on trial for his life. But they *do* talk about how Butter’s chimpanzee liked to smoke cigars and drink scotch. This is, of course, essential viewing for a documentary about a murder trial.

    It’s just Batiuk’s utter failure as a writer that he doesn’t seem the least bit aware of how his characters would be reacting to the circumstances he puts them in. Cindy would cut this interview short at this point, because for all the world it appears to be a 100 year old man tangentially related to the subject at hand rambling off onto a point that has nothing to do with the subject. Batiuk may know, but Cindy doesn’t know that Cliff is eventually going to reach a relevant point with this diversion. For all she knows, it’s just going to be all about Cliff’s Bedtime with Bonzo, with no relevant information about the Butter Murder Trial whatsoever.

    And anyway, if Zanzibar killed Valerie, Butter would still be responsible for her death, so he didn’t go to prison “protecting” Zanzibar. He went to prison on a charge different from the one he should have been prosecuted on.

    • Charles

      “He went to prison on a charge different from the one he should have been prosecuted on.”

      This would be criminally negligent homicide, which, considering that Butter’s pet is a chimpanzee rather than a “normal” pet, would be enough to imprison him for quite a long time. Remember this when Batiuk starts popping off on how “innocent” Butter is.

      • Epicus Doomus

        As Marcy Darcy from “Married With Children” once said, “if you hand a chimp a gun and he shoots someone, you don’t blame the chimp”.

      • spacemanspiff85

        Yeah, I mean I don’t think the courts (or that horrible court of public opinion Batiuk hates so much) would see much difference between Butters murdering the actress or the chimp he trained murdering her.

        • Maxine of Arc

          It would downgrade the charge from murder to manslaughter or negligent homicide. Which wouldn’t make him AT ALL innocent, but would at least be a lesser charge. Not that it makes any difference to Valerie Pond.

  14. Lord Flatulence

    And he was definitely no stranger to hookers and blow.