Batiukian Butt Banter

So . . . it took Jess several years (it’s been years, right? it hasn’t just felt like years?) after she finished the documentary about Her Father, John Darling, Who Was Murdered, to realize that the Hollywood Biz Life wasn’t for her? And what exactly did The Biz do to him? He got murdered by a psycho because he was an asshole. I don’t recall that it was The Biz that turned him into an asshole, I’m pretty sure that’s just who he was.

Is it me or does Jess look pretty creepy in this strip? Like I kind of feel that Baituk instructed the artist to make sure he really showcased her “sexiness” or something. And speaking of badly drawn women, when I first read this I really thought Jess had flown back to L.A. already and was talking to Cindy, but no, that’s Mindy. I think. I really cannot keep track of these identically drawn Attractive Young Blondes Batiuk’s been showcasing lately.

Oh, and going back to the topic of assholes, Crankshaft (who had a love/hate relationship with someone literally named Keesterman) apparently talked about buttering asses enough that his granddaughter remembers it fondly, decades later.


Filed under Son of Stuck Funky

21 responses to “Batiukian Butt Banter

  1. Epicus Doomus

    I mean it’s bad enough when he’s trying to “write” for a smug bearded dick with ears or an obese pizzeria owner or an elderly retired band director, but BatYak is at is absolute worst when he’s trying to get inside the head of his female characters, particularly (though not limited to) the younger ones. Jessica never “saw” what “the business” did to her Father John Darling, as she was just a baby when Batiuk took his felt tip and went home killed off JD. And it’s not like she was offered a job doing softcore porn or violent exploitation films, she was offered a gig as a camera-pointer on a huge budget superhero flick. Thus this fails to make sense of several different levels. And furthermore, why did she go straight to AK studios as opposed to home? Wasn’t her son the entire reason she came back? Yeesh, what a mess.

    • Charles

      And furthermore, why did she go straight to AK studios as opposed to home? Wasn’t her son the entire reason she came back?

      Obviously, talking to Mindy was more important. I know that when I go visit relatives one of the first things I do is go to their office and talk with their coworkers.

  2. louder

    Yes, filming actors against a green screen will destroy your life..

  3. Was John Darling in Hollywood? I thought he was in Ohio with everyone else.
    Not to mention that there didn’t seem to be anything that “the business” did to him–he didn’t become a bitter alcoholic or anything. He seemed like a happy go lucky dense guy up to the moment he was shot.

    • matt2amy

      I’ve mentioned this before, but I don’t picture John Darling having had a huge readership.
      Considering this was back when you read whatever comix your local paper carried, and in this case I don’t think that was a lot

  4. billytheskink

    Mindy knows who your dad is, Jessica. No, not because you talk about him incessantly but because you two are cousins! Your mom is Mindy’s dad’s sister and your dad, John Darling, is Mindy’s uncle.

  5. Charles

    Jessica has literally found out nothing new about her father since she started working for Cindy. Whatever she “saw” she saw before any of this happened.

    But then, why start making sense now, huh?

  6. Paul Jones

    The only reassuring thing about this load of shit is knowing that Ed Crankshaft will die a forgotten man. Messica has no idea what the Biz did to her daddy because she was trying to figure out what end of her crib smelled worse when her natural-born smug dipshit dad got shot because a psycho (who’d thought he was broadcasting his thoughts in the first place) stupidly thought he was cheating on his wife.

    • Saturnino

      “The only reassuring thing about this load of shit is knowing that Ed Crankshaft will die a forgotten man. ”

      So it appears there is a Godwin’s Law for comments on comics. You know another comic is going bad when somebody compares it to Crankshaft or FW.

  7. Is the punchline referencing Crankshaft? “Butter” Brinkel? Last Tango in Paris?

  8. Gerard Plourde

    I know that the strip runs on TomBa time and also his understanding of how things work, but the Butter Brinkel documentary can’t possibly be finished.

  9. sgtsaunders

    So she’s saying her grandfather was Marlon Brando?

  10. Professor Fate

    I love there is an ellipsis right after Jessica says “My father John Darling” as the Author wanted to add “who was murdered” but even he couldn’t bring himself to do that.

    So perhaps it will turn out that Plantman was actually set up by the talking ape who will now hunt down Jessica as part of his vendetta against humanity. It’s the romantic in me.

  11. Maxine of Arc

    “The business” didn’t do anything to her father John Darling (drink). He was a dick. And even if it had, “the business” isn’t known for chewing up and spitting out assistant camera-pointers.

  12. Count of Tower Grove

    Spread the word! Ed Crankshaft in “Last Tango in Cayuhoga County.”

  13. Jimmy

    I wonder if the whole “My Father, John Darling” bit has become an inside joke from Batiuk nodding to the beady-eyed nitpickers. I can’t imagine he would be that magnanimous.

    • Maxine of Arc

      I would love to think he has a sense of humor about it, but somehow I doubt it.

      Actually, you know, I think I’ve noticed something about us here at SoSF. We’re here to pick apart Funky Winkerbean (heaven help us), yes, but a consistent thread I see in the comments is that we’re kind of actually rooting for Batiuk in a way. We WANT the strip to be better, because we must think on some level that it could be if the guy just tried a little bit.