Comeback Kidder.

Link to today’s strip

Dinkle! Stop touching your face! It’s gross! I don’t care if you forgot to shave, or have some kind of numb-cheeked neurological disorder, you will break out in ugly old man acne.

Speaking of ugly, Becky in panel three is a real barker. Bags under her eyes, lines around her misshapen mouth, weird flesh-colored half moon circles on her eyelids, mismatched ears. Ugh. Edvard Munch could be more flattering when portraying anxiety.

And I’m confused. Becky has a husband that isn’t Dinkle? I did another archive deep dive and, after going all the way back to December 2018, I found this weird strip.

That’s DSH John. But are they married? They mention each other a few other times, I guess? But that was the last time they were in a strip together. December 22 2018. They’re married, right? And have kids? When was the last time we saw kids?

Since 2018 Becky has attended OMEA in January, the school end picnic in May, Bull’s funeral, all with Dinkle at her side, and DSH John nowhere to be seen. Over 20 individual strips. And she only had 3 strips WITHOUT Dinkle.

And isn’t John married to Crazy Harry?

Found this funny strip from a year ago though. I guess Dinkle must be catching the Alzheimer’s that Mort Winkerbean lost. Because he forgot he’d already praised Becky for going digital.

17 Comments

Filed under Son of Stuck Funky

17 responses to “Comeback Kidder.

  1. Epicus Doomus

    Becky and John are indeed married, yet they very rarely ever appear together in any strips. It’s definitely happened, but if happened more then three or four times over that last ten years I’d be shocked. Not to say it never happened but I can’t remember a single Becky/John-centric arc since I’ve been here. As far as their children go, yeah, I think they have some but who the hell knows? There’s a Wally Jr. but he’s been lost to the sands of the Funkyverse for a long, long time.

    Remember the one where Dinkle grudgingly lugged his wife Harriet to Niagara Falls for their 50th anniversary and cracked wise and cackled about what a worthless spouse he was the entire time? Fun times. So if he un-retired would he spend even MORE time at WHS? Wouldn’t this involve some sort of quantum time warping or something?

    IMO the comic book store owner crack is actually not half bad, as making fun of comic book store proprietors is always sort of funny, unless they’re physically challenged or something. Becky having to endure Dinkle’s always-looming presence because she desperately needs her job because her husband is a comic book shop owner is totally indicative of her infinite sad-sackery. Downtrodden is practically her middle name. I mean think about it, not only did BatSpite lop off her arm, but her main passion before the accident was playing the trombone, an instrument impossible to play with one arm. AND she was married to WALLY, one of the biggest FW sad-sacks who ever sad-sacked. It’s just layer after layer of sad-sackedness.

    • William Thompson

      The term “Sad Sack” comes from an old Army expression: “Mister, you are the saddest sack of shit I’ve ever seen.” A sad sack was not just a klutz or a schlemiel, but an actively malevolent schmuck. A shirker, a petty thief, a coward, a malingerer, a braggart, a bully and a suck-up. If Dingle was ever in military, he probably wanted to be a bugler just to wake everyone up before dawn.

    • Double Sided Scooby Snack

      How Drecky could be interested in a creep like DSH John is one of the great mysteries of this comic strip. Maybe even more mysterious than why TWO women would fight over a Dick With Ears like Les Moore.

      Likewise, it’s impossible to understand why a guy like DSH John would be interested in an adult, a female, or an adult female. But she does look like a 14 year old boy, on the other hand. Whoops, sorry, BECK.

  2. Rusty Shackleford

    That nose and chin on Dinkle…ugh..Batty and Ayers sure love drawing old feebs.

  3. billytheskink

    I’m convinced that TB had these two get married during the time jump for the sole purpose of pulling off this single strip bait-and-switch one month into Act III.

    • Epicus Doomus

      That is without a doubt something he would do without hesitation. Act II and early Act III were full of this sort of cheap gimmicky crap. “GASP! Becky is married to JOHN in the future???”…as if any FW reader actually cared at that point.

      Man, he really did just obliterate a whole shitload of kid characters from the strip as Act III plodded along, didn’t he? Becky’s kids, Bull’s kids, Crazy’s kids, Owen, Cody, Alex and even Keisha and Summer. Cory’s still around but barely. Act III itself was just such a dumb idea, way too overambitious and too big of a cast.

    • Gerard Plourde

      This comparison also shows how the artwork has deteriorated (it wasn’t Rembrandt to begin with, but it was decent). Also, note that Becky’s hair was brown and now (like in most of the young lad’s appearances) has become black.

      • Rusty Shackleford

        Totally agree. More proof that Batty just doesn’t care anymore. He complains about contracts, yet this is what allows him to get away with doing as little as possible—like a KSU professor with tenure.

      • gleeb

        Maybe they don’t sell that many varieties of hair dye at the Sprawl-Mart.

    • Charles

      I don’t know about that. It’s my impression that after the whole John and Becky sequence in Act 2 where Batiuk kicks Nice Guy John in the crotch, because everyone was getting kicked in the crotch in those days, Batiuk fell in love with the idea of Becky and John getting together. He wasn’t interested in presenting their married life at all, he just wanted Nice Guy John to get the girl he was longing for. If anything, this desire is what led to the epicly stupid “Wally goes back into a combat zone, gets captured AGAIN, is presumed dead AGAIN, has a funeral and then comes back twelve years later to fuck everything up AGAIN” sequence, not the other way around. I mean, one of the reactions he hoped to provoke with Wally’s return was making readers primarily sympathize with *John*.

      He wanted Gross John to have a happily ever after, and because Batiuk is who he is, the only way he could do that was by having him marry the only woman he ever showed interest in, never mind that she was already married and had children with her other husband.

  4. William Thompson

    If there’s a joke here, it means Dingle is a sadist. But everyone already knows that.

  5. Paul Jones

    It always bothered me that the only reason WHY she got swatted down with the mighty fist of ham was wanting to leave town and not come back. That appears to be the worst thing you can do to a small mind like Batiuk’s: put your past behind you and think “The only way you’ll ever see me in that dump again is if I really donk it up.”

  6. Double Sided Scooby Snack

    And with that, Dinkleberry came out of retirement, and his old job was handed to him without question. “BECK” was escorted from the building, stripped of her lovingly-drawn badge, and roughly thrown to the ground in the parking lot.

    But there’s a happy ending. BECK saw an ad on Greg’s List (oh, tee hee!) for a Rachel Maddow stunt double. She became enormously wealthy, allowing her “husband” (wink wink, nudge nudge) to keep his zero income komix shoppe.

    The end.

    • Double Sided Scooby Snack

      Haw… The Mad Triggered Downvoter fell for my Downvote Bait yet again. Apparently just MENTIONING Rachel Madcow in less than reverent tones triggers some folks. Sooooooooooooooooorry….\

  7. Banana Jr. 6000

    Really, Batiuk? Dinkle never liked fundraising? Give me a break. He spent years going door-to-door in his Colonel Khadafy outfit, hawking the most un-sellable shit imaginable with a huge smile.on his face.

    This is the second day in a row where the punchline belies a defining trait of your most famous character. That is Olympics-level not giving a shit.

    Oh, and you managed to namedrop comic books again. Christ.

  8. Double Sided Scooby Snack

    “Hey John, as you know, I don’t exactly make a fortune as a public school band director. This is the fifth year in a row you have lost money in your komix business. And get this – Hairy Dinkleberries wants his old job back, so I could be fired any day now! Maybe it’s time you sold the store and looked for a job.”

    “MOI???? Oh, no no no no no NOOO, Beck! Jobs are for hidebound literalists! And what accounting firm would let me wear a Batman tee shirt and read komix all day, hmmmm…? Komix and underage lads are my LIFE, Beck! You can’t take that away from me! Why don’t you seek employment in retail or fast food? They’re always hiring. And if all else fails, there’s Montoni’s. They seem like they could always use a hand. Whooooops, sorry, BECK!”