I Can No Longer Shop Happily

Rusty Shackleford
November 30, 2019 at 2:10 pm
Just where are they going for the weekend?

My hunch was that the Funkman and the missus might be flying to Dallas for their annual physical, as we saw them do nearly 2 years ago, but they’re not due until January. Guess they’ve gone off on a shopping trip. Is this a Sunday one-off, or will we be treated to a week-long clothes-shopping arc, like the one we endured with Les and Cayla last February? Let’s hope not!


Filed under Son of Stuck Funky

17 responses to “I Can No Longer Shop Happily

  1. Epicus Doomus

    “Les and Cayla go shopping”…isn’t just incredible how quickly you forget about and blot those arcs from your memory? Sometimes I’ll browse through the SoSF archives and just be astonished at all the shit I forgot about (as well as how long ago they happened).

    Mar. 21-27, 2011
    Linda Bushka teaches Cody and Owen, in a “Family Living” course.

    February 11-24, 2013
    The Dinkles and Becky travel to the Ohio Music Education Conference. John “batches it” (stays home and lives like a bachelor).

    October 5-10, 2015
    Mason and Cindy lay on the beach and discuss their age difference; Mason reveals to Cindy that he is bi. Polar. Cindy is unfazed by the news.

    See what I mean? And there are hundreds more and that’s just Act III. For over forty-seven years BatWang has stitched together this vast tapestry of nothingness, a sprawling lifetime-length epic where almost nothing ever happens and no one remembers anything anyhow.

    • Rusty Shackleford

      I’m tempted to visit my local library to borrow FW volumes so as to refresh my memory of all the misery.

      Lisa would be proud.

    • timbuys

      I have had the same experience as you and, frankly, if I weren’t resolute in my confidence that I would completely forget every single Funky Winkerbean plot arc (except for the one where What’s His Face got shot), I wouldn’t take a chance of reading it.

  2. You know, in a very different comic strip, one which the creator has clearly abandoned….

    This is kind of charming.

    • comicbookharriet

      Agreed! I’m a very tactile person, and have always been, so I have to touch all the clothes before I buy them. It used to drive my mom crazy.

      I like the idea that Funky tagged along just to troll her. He’s so darn smug. I can see why Cindy traded up.

      • billytheskink

        The way I see it, Funky has dared to have a little fun here, which TB only deigns to do when he tries to point out how awful he believes people who have fun are (he’s wrong). The Batiukverse will come down hard on him for this and other slights, of course, but I cannot criticize Funky’s audacity here.

  3. William Thompson

    “Come on, lady, let me try on just one clean dress!”

  4. William Thompson

    Well, Holly, you could have driven off to New Jersey on your own, and left Funky behind to paper-train your mom.

  5. William Thompson

    I know some people pack for lavish, long-distance shopping trips, but seriously, these two? How far did they have to travel to find the creme de la creme of frumpwear?

  6. spacemanspiff85

    I don’t know, if you think embarrassing and shocking your wife by screaming at her from across the store is funny, I can see why she doesn’t want to shop with you.

  7. Doghouse Reilly

    So, for a romantic weekend getaway, the Winkerbeans went to…a Goodwill thrift store?

    • Gerard Plourde

      Really. Aren’t there any stores in or near Westview? Does traveling to Cleveland require an overnight stay?

  8. Paul Jones

    It says a lot of bad things about Batomic Comic Obsessive that his idea of whimsy is exhuming Fred and Ethel Mertz.

  9. Paul Jones

    It says any number of horrible things that “whimsy” means “fifties domestic sitcom.”

  10. Epicus Doomus

    Nice Clash reference in the title today, TFH!

  11. ian'sdrunkenbeard

    Come on, Funky! Picking out a muumuu to impress the Montoni’s crowd takes time!

  12. Charles

    I’m stunned, stunned! that no one pointed out that Holly somehow managed to lose about 100 pounds over the car trip. Perhaps they were going to a lipo clinc, but that wouldn’t explain Funky. She looks almost svelte!

    I’m sure she’ll gain it all back by the time she shows up in the daily again.