Flash, Back

Casual readers won’t recognize the skinny old geezer looming over Darin, but we all know that it’s Flash Freeman. He’s kind of the Harry Dinkle of the comics industry: though he’s long since retired, he still likes to randomly “drop by” and interfere with people who are trying to do actual work. Of course, Darin and Pete need no excuse to goof off, and they literally worship the comics legend. Pete especially, whose grin stretches all the way to the bags under his eyes in panel 1.


Filed under Son of Stuck Funky

29 responses to “Flash, Back

  1. Epicus Doomus

    Let me guess…”Turtle” (sigh) never made a deadline. Very clever, Tom, very clever. His bizarre notion of what comic book making is “really” like never ceases to amaze and bore the hell out of me. Even his vivid fantasy worlds are dull.

  2. William Thompson

    “Turtle” Thompson? Ooooh, such a snappy name! How much did Batiuk shell out for that one at the Komedy Kafe? Or should I stick my neck out and say he overheard it on the soup line? What was the problem? When Flush Freekman said “I don’t want it good, I want it Tuesday!” did he hand in superior work with “Slow but steady wins the race!”? I can see how that would make Freekman stew.

  3. billytheskink

    I actually kinda like Pete’s call here to try and double-team Durwood in a game of “let’s dump on artists” with Flash. But we’re not going to get a much-deserved skewering of “Dawdling” Darin Fairgood… we’re going to get introduced to some new old guy named “Turtle” and dump on him.

    You don’t need to create new shmucks to hate, TB, you have so many on your roster of characters already.

    • Epicus Doomus

      The sad thing about this is how he seems to think a story about a comic book artist who’s always behind schedule is an interesting and relateable premise. What about doing a story about a comic book artist who actually DID something? His insular little world leads directly to these brainless premises, he really does need to get out and circulate more.

    • hitorque

      I’d hesitate to call Darrin an “artist”… IIRC, Darrin’s previous “art experience” literally came from rudimentary doodles he drew out during study hall as a 10th grader. Nevermind the fact that his ass was still slingin’ pizza pies when his boy Pete got the nepotism hire of the century when Cindy dragged him to Hollywood to be the new script writer for “Avengers: Starbuck Jones”, and of course he took his best bud Darrin along for the gravy train ride since evidently nobody in Southern California had enough artistic talent to sketch storyboards…

      Nobody in history has failed upward into world fame and obscene wealth more often than Darrin.

  4. Charles

    I’m going to love how Batiuk completely misses the irony of excoriating some artist for missing deadlines by having these three putzes stop for a reminisce when two of them are supposed to be working. And the third, well, I don’t know what the hell he’s even supposed to be doing there.

    At Atomik Comix, you can just drop in at any time! It’s not as though you’ll be interrupting anything important.

    • hitorque

      Agreed… Pete+Darrin have never had to deal with a hard deadline in their lives, given how lazy and casual they are on any given workday…

  5. Doghouse Reilly

    Strange. I’d always assumed that New York City was the center of the publishing industry in the 20th century, but apparently every old-time comic book writer/artist/editor/colorist/letterer/staple stamper lived in or retired to Westview, Ohio. Who would have guessed? By the by, did Flash have his nose sharpened since his last appearance?

  6. Paul Jones

    Batiuk is taking the joy out of being predictable again. We can look forward to a week of someone being criticized in a manner that makes him look almost sympathetic owing to the writer’s ignorance showing again.

    • William Thompson

      “Turtle, what sort of bungler needs an entire year to prepare such a badly written and clumsily drawn comic?”

  7. Gerard Plourde

    Flash Freeman was the editor? Did TomBa forget about Brady Wentworth? According to his own Batom history, Flash Freeman and Phil Holt were the long-suffering writer/artist team, later to be joined by Mitchell Knox and Coy Dockett.

    • gleeb

      Mopey Pete Roberts/Reynolds/Radziwiłł would be offended by that accusation.

    • I was waiting for an astute commenter to pick up on that one! When we met Flash, he was introduced as “the original head writer for Batom Comics.” I dunno, he could have been promoted at some point, but sheesh.

      • Epicus Doomus

        Yeah, this occurred to me after the fact. Since when did Flash “run” Batom Comics? Even his vivid fantasy worlds lack continuity. I mean can’t he sketch out a little Batom Comics organizational flow chart to consult whenever he graces us with another one of these dopey arcs? “Flash Freeman – BC head writer from 1955-1972″…how hard is that?

    • Banana Jr. 6000

      “The Amazing Mr. Sponge”? You think that up all by yourself, Hillenberg? Sheesh.

  8. Banana Jr. 6000

    Jesus Christ, another goddam comic book story? Reminiscing about some long-dead hack who wouldn’t be interesting if he was real? Can we go back to watching Holly and Funky shop? That was honestly more interesting.

    Epicus Doomus said it perfectly: this strip is a lifelong, carefully developed universe of nothing. Batiuk has built this elaborate backstory for the comic book industry in his universe, and this is the best plot he can come up with. Yikes.

    • Epicus Doomus

      A detailed fantasy world with a large cast of characters, all with their own detailed back stories and full of all sorts of fantastical little sub-universes full of their own characters, each with their own little back stories, yet somehow it’s the most unimaginable and boring thing possible.

      • Banana Jr. 6000

        You know people who say “they should make a sitcom about my life”? Funky Winkerbean IS that sitcom.

  9. Count of Tower Grove

    Woo-hoo! A new arc of flashbacks with photo mounts, the corners of the gods featuring “Turtle Thompson,” no doubt wearing a turtleneck sweater.

  10. hitorque

    So are Pete+Darrin still working in that giant nine-story warehouse as a literal two-man operation?? Did that weirdo millionaire comic geek benefactor with limitless funds *EVER* hire anyone else? I mean yeah, I know he put Pete’s girlfriend/fiance on the payroll so she could be forever locked into this storyline and Pete (Because Pete by God needs a woman in his life because people have been asking questions, and nobody in the Funkyverse is allowed to marry outside of the Funkyverse for their first marriage.)

  11. Perfect Tommy

    There is a void in my soul. A yawning chasm in my very existence that can only be filled by tales of 50’s era comics. Thank you so much Tom for unifying that which was broken. Hey, does anyone else think this coffee tastes like ass?

  12. More wish-fulfillment fantasy crap. Well, at least they’re not talking about how awesome Les is.

  13. Smirks 'R Us

    “Now gather ’round children as we tell the riveting tale of Turtle Thompson. Inevitably he will be shown to be horrible at his job but remember, even the worst comic book industry employee is better than anyone else!”

  14. Professor Fate

    Oh I get it. He was called Turtle because he was slow! How amusing.
    Ha. ha. Just kill me please.
    oh yes I take it then that Pete’s problems with deadlines are a thing of the past? I can only guess that is because he’s not expected to actually write anything good
    Lord I hate these self indulgent stupid comic book arcs with a fury. Won’t someone tell the author that if he keeps doing this he’ll go blind?