Flash Drive

Batiuk doesn’t bother to remind readers who this character is whom we haven’t seen since April…but he does have Pete exposit the setup he delivered just yesterday. These two nerds have got a lot of nerve, smirking about somebody else’s work ethic. Pete’s procrastination, particularly when under deadline, has been extensively documented, while Darin, when he’s not hanging around the post office, dreams at his desk of pirating drawing pens from cargo ships.


Filed under Son of Stuck Funky

26 responses to “Flash Drive

  1. Epicus Doomus

    Know why they called him Turtle? Because he was so slow and lazy, that’s why! Example # 1,299 of why FW is one of America’s most beloved slices of pop culture…timeless gags like this one. One hundred years from now some youngster will read this strip and have the exact same reaction people have right now.

    Boy Batiuk sure has balls, repeating “Turtle Thompson The Artist” like his readers need to be brought up to speed every twenty-four hours. Who is this even for? Did he write this for his fellow comic writers to knowingly chuckle over? “LOL yeah, those lazy artists, always so lazy”…that’s a really, really limited target audience there. Which is fine, but FW is a comic strip that runs in like ten million newspapers every day, so you’d think the jokes might have, uh, some broader appeal, let’s say. Like I’ve been saying for almost ten years now, the guy is a madman, a mild-mannered and sedate madman.

  2. Epicus Doomus

    I’ve posted this before, Turtle Thompson made me remember Tito Turtle. The way this guy channeled Batty was just remarkable.

    • billytheskink

      The 9/11 bit is probably referencing the Westview post office bombing-Atlanta Olympic Park bombing coincidence specifically, but it especially sharp in light of TB’s continuing record of bizarre comic/real life disaster coincidences (Japan earthquake, Hurricane Sandy, underwear bomber, West TX fertilizer plant explosion).

      • Epicus Doomus

        There’s a little Lynn Johnston in there too, but he just nails the BatHack vibe so perfectly. “The girl!” and “tension builds” and “I had no clue” kills me every time. He was so obviously a regular FW reader.

  3. William Thompson

    “Pour me a mug of hot cocoa, boys, and we’ll while away the hours chatting about work ethics!” This approach only works if Flash Freekman leaves the building and reveals himself to be the Lord of the Late. Okay, it doesn’t work so much as slouch around the shop, but it does figure that the LotL would waste his time slowing down the biggest slackers in the Funkyverse.

  4. That panel two image is everyone, ever, who opened the funny pages and thought, “How will Funky Winkerbean delight me today?”

    • Epicus Doomus

      This fascinates me way more than it should. I always wonder if somewhere out there exists a person who opened Monday’s paper, eagerly tore through the pages, saw FW and said “all right, Darin and Pete!”. I just find it difficult to believe that even one such hypothetical person exists.

  5. billytheskink

    Flash is looking gaunt today. He looks like he’s about to tell us how the banking clan will sign our treaty…


    • comicbookharriet

      That is some deep dive prequel reference there.

      I was going to say, if he ever wanted to vacation at Easter Island, the locals would probably worship him as a god.

      • ian'sdrunkenbeard

        That little bon mot got me laughing. I’m glad I wasn’t drinking anything. Easter Island…heh, heh, heh.

  6. William Thompson

    I wonder what Turtle Thompson would have to say? “Yeah, us guys called him ‘Flash’ because he worked so fast. But all that Benzedrine didn’t make for good artwork, you know? And the lady artists had their own reasons for calling him ‘Flash.'”

  7. Doghouse Reilly

    Yep, that’s some snazzy expositional dialogue in panel one. “Gosh, the former comic book editor Flash Freeman. I, the comic book fanboy Mopey Pete, would love to know that problems you, the former comic book editor Flash Freeman, had with the ex-comic book artist, Turtle Thompson. And the current comic book artist, Durwin, would like to hear about it, also, here in our comic book studio!”

  8. Paul Jones

    I still remember the arc where they unmasked The Lord Of The Late and it turned out to actually BE Pete. He seems to have learned nothing about himself from that because here he is, wanting to learn about another work-averse malcontent.

  9. Charles

    Flash’s tone reveals that he’s a shithead. The fact that he’s held onto this grudge for roughly sixty years makes him a massive shithead.

    • And the fact that TB thinks that his audience will find a week of this crap amusing makes him an even more massive shithead.

    • Professor Fate

      Yes that was my first thought as well “what a dick’ Now it’s quite possible for that Turtle has passed on so that we are watching a man talk trash about a dead man. It’s about as classless as one can get. But that’s the Author he never forgets and he never forgives. So all of his weird Avatars have the same trait.
      You know I used to like comic books before he started in with all this nonsense. Now I can’t stand them.

    • hitorque

      You know, in some alternate universe I’d hope that Mr. Freeman (no fuckin’ way am I calling him by the name reserved for Wally West) would have some more interesting stories about his decades working in comics besides the one dude who was lazy and missed deadlines — The irony completely flying over the heads of these two mooks who maybe do a total of three hours real work per week… Of course the 1950s comics artists got paid pennies on the dollar for their labor with restricted creative control while our two heroes are being obscenely paid in the high six figures annually with total creative autonomy (another irony lost)…

      What pisses me off the most is we all know the ‘joke’ here is nothing more than “A guy we nicknamed “turtle” was slow and late, end of story!” Because Batiuk is just mailing it in at this point… A writer who actually cared would follow through with “A guy we nicknamed “turtle” was slow and late; **BUT** it was worth it because he was the greatest artist I ever saw, or he saved us all because all our most popular superheroes came from his imagination, or he used to pull those top shelf, Bettie Page girlies with the oversize warheads and thick bushes to get us all laid every Friday night, etc. etc.”

      • Banana Jr. 6000

        This episode also reminds me of the Zootopia movie trailers where they devoted a solid 45 seconds to that slow-moving sloth at the DMV. God, that made me want to throw a brick at the screen. I GET IT HE WORKS AT THE DMV AND HE’S THE SLOWEST OF ALL ANIMALS. WHAT WITTY SOCIAL COMMENTARY. WRAP IT UP ALREADY. Of course Batiuk will make that crap look like Airplane! in comparison.

  10. Banana Jr. 6000

    This week’s setup reminds me of:

    “I once had a cartoonist named Turtle Thompson.” (Yakko, Wakko, and Dot replace themselves with bobblehead dolls and tiptoe offscreen.)“Turtle Thompson was so slow, that, well, he was not very fast at all!” (boing boing boing boing) “I remember one time, in 1956, I asked Turtle to draw a picture of a turtle!” (Dr. Scratchandsnif and Hello Nurse angrily chase Yakko, Wakko and Dot across the screen). “He says ‘I’m going to need more time.'” (anvil fslls on Dr. Scratchansnif)

  11. Scott J Lovrine

    In the first appearance of TB’s favorite super-hero, The Flash, he meets a villain known as Turtle Man. I’m sure that means something to TB, but I don’t know what. I’m guessing he put “Turtle” in the strip to see if anyone “gets” it.

    Lucky me. I “get” it.

  12. Count of Tower Grove

    BWAWHAWHAWHAWHAW! It’s funny because Mopey and Durward know all about work ethic!

  13. Hannibal’s Lectern

    Summary of the week’s story:
    Monday, first panel: Flash Freeman wanders in, smiles, and gives Durwood a modest compliment.
    Monday, second panel: MoPete changes subject to lazy people who do a lousy job (more his area of expertise, I guess).
    Remainder of story: long, drawn-out story of workplace misery.

    Welcome to the world inside Batiuk’s pointy bald head.

  14. What strikes me as weird is how the quote marks are set. It should be “Turtle” Thompson, but Batiuk has it as “Turtle Thompson,” as if his last name is also not his real name.

  15. Taken in isolation, this strip has the structure of—a joke!

    It’s not funny, mind you, and he botched the setup because he had to put in all the exposition on account of he did the setup on Sunday and not everyone sees the Sunday strips.

    Also, it’s not really in isolation. We’ve got some history, us and Batominc… some history…