Flash in the Dark

December 3, 2019 at 12:55 am
…[I]f he ever wanted to vacation at Easter Island, the locals would probably worship (Flash Freeman) as a god.

Lest we forget which “Turtle Thompson” we are speaking of: it’s “The artist.” Props to commenter Scott J Lovrine, who yesterday cited Silver Age comics inker Frank Giacoia as a likely inspiration for “Turtle Thompson.” A number of readers have suggested that this arc might be a dig at the mysteriously departed Rick Burchett; I’ll give Batty a little credit here and say that he wouldn’t throw a former partner under the bus like this. We don’t know how about Burchett’s ability to meet deadlines, but his work on Funky was just terrible, and I for one was happy to see him go. But his replacement, the formerly reliable Chuck Ayers, has rendered a grotesquely misshapen head on ol’ Flash here, making him look in rear view like a Q-Tip with ears.


Filed under Son of Stuck Funky

26 responses to “Flash in the Dark

  1. Epicus Doomus

    “The Artist Currently Known As Turtle Thompson” lived with his mom? So what? Boy Lisa used to live in LES’ house! You can’t top that.

  2. spacemanspiff85

    I forget exactly which artist it was, but there was a period where the artist’s name wasn’t even on this strip, so I totally think Batiuk wouldn’t be above throwing someone under the bus.

  3. William Thompson

    So “Turtle Thompson” didn’t phone it in? That’s more than Batiuk can say.

  4. William Thompson

    Of course Dorkwad and Mopey Pete are amused. What kind of family is it where people are on speaking terms with one another?

  5. William Thompson

    So, Freekman, what did you tell his mother? “Lady, your son is a slacker and we need his artwork now! Scold him for me!” or “Mrs. Thompson, we haven’t heard from your son in weeks and we’re all worried about him. Can you please tell him to phone the office?” I can’t imagine anything else. This is the Funkyverse, where the only options are rudeness and dishonesty.

  6. billytheskink

    No wonder Pete and Durwood are so slow, no mothers to pressure them at the deadline. Durwood’s mother is babysitting and his “bio” mother is a ghost. Pete’s mother didn’t even appear in John Darling as far as I know.

  7. Banana Jr. 6000

    I’m just glad they’re drawing Mopey Pete with eyebrows again. He looked like a Peanuts character without them, and I was actually starting to like him. I greatly appreciate the cortection.

  8. I think Burchett started off well enough, but look at the material the artists are given…can anyone blame them for half-(or even quarter-)assing it?

    If Batiuk isn’t going to put any effort into this–and it’s very clear he isn’t–why would anyone else bother? It’s not like Watterson-level artwork would make any of this good.

    • spacemanspiff85

      By “started off”, it really was like just the first week. I think once he realized how much he was going to be drawing bland people standing around talking about comics something broke inside.

      • ian'sdrunkenbeard

        When Bull offed himself, I hope Ayers wasn’t expecting to draw a one panel dramatic car crash.

        “I’ve got some great ideas roughed out for the car crash scene, Tom!”

        “Here’s the storyboard, Chuck. We’ll show a foot on a gas pedal, and then a twisted guardrail. You can add a wisp of smoke to make it really exciting!”

  9. Doghouse Reilly

    Meanwhile, FW slowly sinks into the “No-Joke Zone.” “You dog!”

  10. Paul Jones

    It’s like playing Batom Bingo. We can cross off “entry in the Batiuktionary” and “resenting a dead woman.”

  11. Gerard Plourde

    So now that we’ve confirmed that Flash Freeman is an unlikable jerk, it only stands to reason that Pete and Darren would find him even more worthy of hero-worship.

  12. Jimmy

    The guy who writes this strip has a serious Oedipal Complex.

  13. bill epps

    Really, Pete? “Oh, Flash you are so edgy and cool, we want to be just like you.” The thing is, the artist Turtle Thompson must be pretty darn good, if he is constantly late, sometimes weeks by your own admission, but is still wanted. More than we can say about Durrin and Mopey Pete

  14. Gerard Plourde

    Today’s Crankshaft raises the recurring question of The Author’s mental state. Not only does it ignore Ralph’s run for mayor three years ago based on the issue of potholes, but Crankshaft’s punchline is incomprehensible.

  15. Professor Fate

    Flash is a creep – so of course Boy Lisa and Mopey Pete adore him.
    While most of the comic book arcs have been tedious this one is also repellant.

  16. bobanero

    One more day of ‘Turtle’ bashing and then we’re on to another week of some other kind of filler. Do you think we’ll get a ‘Turtle Thompson’ comic book cover on Sunday? Or maybe Durwood will make the mistake of asking Flash if there were any problematic writers, and he’ll go off for a week about ‘Sloth Slabotnik’.

  17. It really is kind of anti-amazing. Pete and Dullard meet a hero of theirs, and instead of “What was your favorite Starbuck Jones story?” or “What was it like working with Phil Holt?” we get “What kind of problems made you really hate your job?”

    Of course, it’s not surprising as any positive question would require Batiuk to create a positive situation, and he’s just not capable of that any more.

    • Perfect Tommy

      THAT is what’s driving me insane! When Mao St. Tongue woman was there, all she did was beach and complain. Where are the cool stories of creating comic books? How about some positivity about a topic that is obviously in Batty’s Wheelhouse? He constantly misses the tramp steamer to Russia.

  18. hitorque

    Bravo, well done… “I called his mommy and yelled at her” is the grand finale joke we burned a week building up to…

    Naturally I still want to know just why Turtle kept getting work when he was so bad at it, but why would TB spend ONE more word on plot exposition than he absolutely needs to?

    • William Thompson

      He chatters away because he’s a narcisist. If I spelled it wrong, he’ll spend the rest of his life complaining about it, because that’s what narssicysts do.