The Telltale Moozadell

Link To Today’s Strip

Yup, the beloved “A Christmas Carol” mozzarella scene…a watershed moment in movie history all right. Sigh. Sometimes BatYam drops a strip so nonsensical and so unnecessary you have to wonder why he even bothers anymore and this is definitely one of those strips. “Funky forgets to order cheese”…yes, I suppose that premise was inevitable.

What are the odds that Adeela (!) is familiar with “A Christmas Carol”? Not to unfairly generalize here, but I have a sneaking feeling that Afghani TV probably isn’t showing that one all that often. Then again, what the hell do I know, eh? Anyhow, it’s good to see that architecture degree of hers finally paying off, as Funky’s office looks terrific AND functional.


Filed under Son of Stuck Funky

30 responses to “The Telltale Moozadell

  1. I’m sure others can amend, but I certainly can’t recall when a comic strip creator has expressed such visceral hatred for his central character.

    • AmigoLupus

      There’s Dustin, where the neverending “haha millennials amirite?” jokes reads like Dustin’s entire family is abusive towards him.

  2. Banana Jr. 6000

    This is like The Far Side’s “Out of Order” strip is happening for real

  3. William Thompson

    “Then why does he watch it? Does he not have a friend or relative who loves him enough to spare him such agony?”

    “In Westview? You really are from out of town, aren’t you?”

  4. William Thompson

    That’s a big office for such a tiny business. How big an office staff does Funky have, and why couldn’t they have reminded him?

    • Rusty Shackleford

      Love the sign on the door. Without that he wouldn’t know where to go…just like kids who can’t find the band room.

      And sorry, I’m not buying pizza from Adeela. Although yesterday I did buy baklava from a lady in a hajib…best baklava ever!

  5. William Thompson

    I can understand Walleye making a joke that Adeela couldn’t understand. What I don’t understand is how Walleye knows about “A Christmas Carol,” or for that matter any movie with a happy ending. Does Westview TV edit out all the happy bits, or does CME film special versions with miserable, despairing final scenes?

    • erdmann

      In the Funkyverse, “A Christmas Carol” ends with Scrooge being dragged to hell by the ghosts. In “It’s a Wonderful Life,” George Bailey jumps off the bridge and Mr. Potter takes over Bedford Falls. Joyeux Noël, everyone!

      • Doghouse Reilly (Minneapolis)

        Potterville looked like a swingin’ town! Just don’t order mulled wine at the local watering hole.

  6. billytheskink

    I usually think of “A Christmas Carol” as a book rather than something to be watched (I think the only film versions I’ve ever seen involved the Muppets and Mickey Mouse). A book where a young version of the main character doesn’t do any warning and cheese is not a significant factor…

    • Epicus Doomus

      Is it possible that he meant “It’s A Wonderful Life”? I was baffled by this too.

      • William Thompson

        In Westview, every time someone says “It’s a Wonderful Life,” a child gets his mouth washed out with soap.

      • Banana Jr. 6000

        Would that make any more sense? Do people forget things in IAWL? Oddly, I’ve never seen it all the way through.

        • William Thompson

          Neither have I, but I’ve seen so many bits of it over so many Christmases that it amounts to seeing the whole thing.

    • He may have been thinking of Jacob Marley, who appears as a ghost to warn Scrooge that he should change his ways. I don’t think forgetfulness is a factor at all.

  7. AmigoLupus

    …Seriously? THIS is why he was having nightmares about high school? This is some incredibly tenuous shit, and just yet another excuse for Batiuk to remind us that he never got over high school.

  8. Doghouse Reilly

    Mozzarella? That’s an Italian cheese that’s often used on pizzas. What on Earth would Montoni’s need it for?
    But, seriously…couldn’t Funky invest in a Post-It Note on the computer to remind him? And, lastly, what the Dickens does “A Christmas Carol” have to do with Funky’s visions of high school? We never saw him watching any version of “A Christmas Carol,” there was no mention of it this week, and the locker dream was apparently a recurring one he has throughout the year. If this is indeed the end of the latest FW “story,” it’s the most discombobulated, “out of left field” resolution since Zanzibar the Homicidal Hominid.

    • Professor Fate

      And of course in the real world he would have a standing order for x amount of Mozzarella to be delivered to his pizzeria on a regular basis. People did that even before computers – and since he did have Boy Lisa on the payroll for while wouldn’t his special genius (a pizza app) allow him to set up regular deliveries of the basic ingredients of his main product?
      This arch has been tedious, stupid, not worth paying attention to – other than lacking a disease it’s almost a perfect FW arc.

  9. Paul Jones

    Ah, well. Spending a week that landed with a thud shaped like a non sequitur is better than a week spent watching Les be punchable or Boy Lisa being twee.

  10. Count of Tower Grove

    BWAWAHAWHAWHAW! It’s funny because Fungy’s micromanager and didn’t delegate inventory and ordering to his two fourteenth grade graduate assistants!

  11. Count of Tower Grove

    Cheezus Christ!

  12. erdmann

    “I forgot to place the mozzarella order! It’s a damned good thing we only have three or four customers and all they ever do is sit around, swill coffee and praise Les or we’d be seriously screwed!”

  13. Charles

    God help me, but Adeela looks like a damn Rankin-Bass dwarf.

    Did Batiuk make her so appallingly homely because if she were even a smidgen attractive, he’d feel obligated to have a “Rachel gets jealous” storyline? It’s inevitable with Wally “Sex Machine” Winkerbean!

    Nice Sopranos reference in the title. At least that pizza never hurt nobody!

  14. A pronunciation tip for readers outside the greater NY/NJ area: we don’t call it “mot-za-RELL-a”…

  15. Banana Jr. 6000

    It’s strips like this that make me wonder if Batiuk is in cognitive decline. Nightmares, high school, forgetfulness, ordering cheese, and A Christmas Carol. What the hell do any of these things have to do with each other? Is this an attempt at surrealism? Because it seriously doesn’t work. Replace A Christmas Story with comic books, and this is very much Batiuk’s psyche talking.

  16. If you stop looking at the strip as if it’s trying to tell stories, and instead look at it as a way to fill time to the 50th anniversary, it makes perfect sense.

  17. ian'sdrunkenbeard

    “Is he okay?”
    “Yeah. Sometimes I give him an edible with his morning coffee.”

  18. WheresFather

    Am I nuts, or does Adeela look like Plastic Man sidekick Woozy Winks? That would be a fun crossover!