Cuckoo for Cocoa.

Link to today’s strip

Comic Book Harriet, back in the saddle again. Taking over spurring this dead horse to flop listlessly forward another two weeks. I want to thank TFH for gallantly riding us through three weeks of absolute comic book nonsense. I don’t know if I had it in my heart to handle the cringe of Chester awkwardly trying to buy Ruby’s affections and/or loyalty.

If you weren’t paying attention to the clothing change, you might think that today’s strip was a continuation of Sunday. But no, they’re just plopped in front of the TV again on another day.

A couple questions. Who is playing? Why do they care so much? Must be an Ohio team. The jerseys of the two giants being shouted at by Danny Devito on the TV are on the red spectrum. Scapegoats matches would not be on TV right? The Cleveland Cavaliers have wine red jerseys. Ohio State has scarlet. University of Cincinnati is red. Youngstown State is cardinal. And Miami University in Oxford Ohio (founded in 1809)is also just plain old red.

Something we cannot question is this strip’s weird fixation on hot cocoa. Look at Funky lurching compulsively off the couch in search of hot sugar water. I mean, I really only drink the stuff once in a blue moon, usually around Christmas. Westviewians seem to use in all seasons it as some kind of comfort currency. I looked around, but this doesn’t seem to be a specifically Ohio or Great Lakes thing.

Batiuk does like to have his characters drinking something in strip. Making and offering each other drinks. Coffee usually, sometimes cold beverages, occasionally tea. I’m guessing it gives them a little something to do at in the panel rather than stare at each other seemingly motionless blathering inane dialogue. And I get it. My parent’s marriage entirely revolves around drinking coffee in proximity to each other.

But Cocoa seems to have a special place in his heart. As the beverage of choice when he wants to make his characters unbearably twee and childlike.

But Funky seems to have a special affinity for it. In a really creepy way.


Filed under Son of Stuck Funky

28 responses to “Cuckoo for Cocoa.

  1. William Thompson

    So, uh, Batiuk has noticed that assorted games sometimes run into overtime, which always drags out at a pace slower than the average Funkyverse story? I’d wonder why he’s never used this joke before, but then he’s only shown us Westview High School games that are doomed from the start.

  2. Doghouse Reilly

    Okay, I confess it. I am totally stumped. WHERE is there even an attempt at a punchline in this strip? Funky feeling like rushing to the kitchen for cocoa before overtime starts? His inability to wait for three seconds (probably two minutes real time) for the end of regulation and a commercial break? The fact that Holly feels the need to remind them that they’ve been watching a basketball game for the last two hours or so? The idea that senior citizens enjoy a nice mug of hot chocolate when they’re doing something “exciting”? Where, in the three panels today, is there anything resembling a joke, a cringing pun, a muddled aphorism, or a smirking acknowledgment? Please, what am I overlooking?

    • comicbookharriet

      It’s called writing.

    • Epicus Doomus

      To paraphrase Lenny from The Simpsons: “look everybody, he’s about to do something sad-sack-y”.

    • h

      Either Batiuk is about to go off on how so many close NBA games take 20 minutes of real time to play the last 2:30 of game time, or poor Funkmeister is going to miss an incredible ending because he’s actually MAKING hot cocoa from scratch instead of just pouring a fresh mug from a pot.

      Missing the incredible ending of a game might have worked as a gag in circa 1978 when your only chance to see a replay *might* have been on the 11:00 news, but even the Funkyverse has to have discovered satellite TV and digital cable by now… So all Holly has to do is rewind the last 60 seconds…

      • This hits home, since this season my school’s basketball team (University of North Carolina, which is having an historically bad season) actually lost six games due to improbable shots by the opposition in the final two seconds of play.

      • Banana Jr. 6000

        And we just saw yesterday that the Winkerbeans can use on-demand TV. Looking up a highlight online shouldn’t be beyond their capability.

        Also, why are we doing this plot in February? It’s called March Madness for a reason. (I flatly refuse to consider the possibility that Funky and Holly are emotionally invested in an NBA regular season game.)

  3. Epicus Doomus

    At least it isn’t about comic books again. By the looks of it so far it’s probably not going to be “about” anything at all, but at least it isn’t about comic books again. Another week of Ruby Lith carrying around a framed piece of comic book art would have just been too much to bear. It isn’t about comic books, it isn’t about Les, it’s a win-win, even if it’s just for today.

  4. billytheskink

    That looks like a faceless Bull in the suit there on the television, presumably coaching the red-clad basketball team. Did Funky forget that he was watching an old tape of the Summer/Keisha-era Lady Scapegoats?

  5. Wait, I don’t understand. Is “hot chocolate” an Atomik Komix or a Batom book?

    • Epicus Doomus

      Hot Chocolate and her faithful sidekick Marsha Mellow, part of Batom Comics ill-fated “blaxploitation” period of the early 1970s. They fought crime, man.

  6. AmigoLupus

    It says a lot how shitty this comic is that I prefer these bland non-jokes over weeks of Batiuk trying to tackle yet another Serious Subject, the antics of the comic book idiots, or the universe bending over to fellate Les Moore’s ego.

  7. Paul Jones

    Oh, joy. A week of Funky losing his marbles because he missed the winning shot. Doesn’t matter that they’ll rebroadcast it ad infinitum, this is going to be the Worst Thing Ever…….

  8. Looks like this week is going to be filler for the filler.

  9. Time for Batiuk to show (in detail) how much he despises his title character.

    • William Thompson

      No, it’s time for Batiuk to tell us how much he despises his title character, with all details kept unshown.

  10. Eldon of Galt

    Batiuk is on a great streak of multi-faceted failure these last few days. He doesn’t screw up the writing in just one way. He manages a multiple mess every time. Botched jokes blended up with misused expressions, out-of-character behavior and not understanding how things work. The layers and layers of ineptitude are truly astounding.

  11. hitorque

    Red uniforms? Perhaps Milford High School?

    We’ve finally got that long-awaited “Funkyverse/Gil Thorp” crossover I’ve been predicting!! Now we can merge this site with “This Week in Milford” and then I’d only have to post one hate read per day!!”

    (I’m perma-banned over at Comics Curmudgeon for reasons never explained to me, for the record… In the golden days my daily hate read recap would easily eat up the first full hour of my workday — True story.)

    • Count of Tower Grove

      I don’t read Gil Thorp, but fact that you spent and hour getting paid for putting to the man is laudable!

      • hitorque

        I had a fair amount of prep work to do… There were at least 10-12 strips I had a dedicated comment for every day, and most of them I had to read online since they didn’t appear in my local fishwrap…

        I was also the resident “Luann” expert/historian… I don’t mess around with it anymore, but starting in the third grade (1986) I was a daily reader without fail all the way to 2018…

        (I also knew everything that happened in FBOFW since that time, but by the time I discovered there were groups online hate reading it, the strip was already on the way out…)

  12. Count of Tower Grove

    Ooo! Panel three Fungy looks anxious and the double movement lines at his behind suggest a failing sphincter!

  13. Gerard Plourde

    This installment actually goes a long way in explaining Funky’s and Holly’s weight issues. Between pizza and hot chocolate there are a lot of calories being consumed, with not much physical activity.

    As a side note – I wonder if we’re getting a clue as to TomBa’s hot beverage of choice while reading back issues The Flash.

  14. Batgirl

    I’m guessing the joke is about football games going on and on and on (not that I’m bitter about missing programs I liked bc of sportsball overtime…). It’s not a great joke, but I feel we should be somewhat grateful that Funky didn’t let us know that he was going to use the time to go for a lengthy bathroom break.