And A Second Hand Guitar It Was A Stratocaster Owned By Mason Jarre

Link To Today’s Strip

Uh yeah Mason, whatever you say. If I recall correctly, he actually traded in his guitar to become Dino Deer, whatever the hell that was. I’m trying to parse the timeline here, as Mason is way, way too young to have started a band after seeing The Beatles on Ed Sullivan. It’s so weird how every character in this strip is into popular culture from twenty years before they were born. And in Mason’s case, he traded a pop-culture icon from twenty years before he was born for another pop-culture icon from forty years before he was born, then starred in a movie with a pop-culture icon from a hundred years before he was born. It won’t be long before someone in the strip starts re-creating old patent medicine shows.

It’s almost hard to believe that BatYap ran out of Dead Lisa tropes already, but there’s really no other explanation. This one is so random and so pointless it doesn’t even qualify as filler. It also demonstrates that unlike with “writers”, BatHam doesn’t particularly respect actors all that much, as it’s sort of implied here that Mason just picked up acting as an afterthought and (in typical FW style) just pretty much blundered his way into Hollywood fame and riches without really trying. Which wasn’t Mason’s original back story, but at this point it doesn’t matter anyway, as we all know that Les f*cking Moore is the only living soul who’s ever had to toil, suffer and sacrifice to create truly authentic art and everyone else is just a big insincere phony hack. What a dick.


Filed under Son of Stuck Funky

26 responses to “And A Second Hand Guitar It Was A Stratocaster Owned By Mason Jarre

  1. William Thompson

    “When I realized I sucked as a musician, I decided to suck at something else!
    I mean, why try harder to be a musician when success wasn’t handed to me right away?”

    • Epicus Doomus

      “Welp, we’re never going to be bigger then The Beatles. Here’s my guitar, I quit.”

      “What will you do now, Mason?”

      “Become a major movie star, I guess. I’m a little anxious about it, though. I wish I had some sort of lucky talisman to carry around, like a stripped screw or twisted paper clip or something like that. It’s the only thing holding me back.”

  2. bayoustu

    A thousand thanks for the Frank Zappa reference in the title of today’s post! That made me laugh out loud! Unlike this strip..

  3. Mason looks like he’s about to fall backwards off those stairs. And look, in panel two, people are sitting on the sacred bench!!!!

    • William Thompson

      Those two people are Dead Fucking Lisa and Masky McDeath. “Looks like your boy missed his appointment,” Masky says. “That was his last chance to spend eternity with you. You could at least look regretful!” he adds.

      “About what?” Lisa gets up. “He loves me more now than when I was alive. Let’s go.”

  4. billytheskink

    It is unfortunate that TB did not subscribe to Masone’s philosophy, and quit when he realized he was not going to be as successful as the top cartoonists in history. Unless… Does TB think he is of Kelly, Herriman, Schulz, Patterson, Larson caliber? Oh dear.

    Anyways, let’s all remember that Mason’s background used to be that he wanted to be an action star since the author doesn’t seem to.

    • Rusty Shackleford

      He obviously thinks he is more than that. Why he wrote the perfect story: Lisa’s Story.

    • I feel pretty certain Batiuk does think he’s right up there with Kelly, Herriman, Schulz, Patterson, and Larson. Maybe even better than them. After all, none of them were ever nominated for a Pulitzer.

  5. Gerard Plourde

    I’m going to give TomBa credit for an effort to give some depth to Mason. At the same time he’s actually had Les go so far as to ask a question about another human being’s life and interests. And it’s not about Lisa. Three positive things. ‘Nuff said.

    • gleeb

      Only after having known Jarhead for years, and only as a brush off when he suddenly wants to clam up about details involving the Blessed St Lisa the Deadwife. So let’s not go overboard with praise.

  6. Doghouse Reilly

    Yes, that’s the spirit. If only all would-be musicians out there would stop practicing and forming bands because they’re never going to be as good or popular as The Beatles. Imagine (sorry) how simple it would be to browse your local record store; you could stop after the letter “B” (sorry again).

    Also, “traded my Stratocaster for a ray blaster for a ray blaster”? But Masonne, weren’t you already a big name film star before landing the iconic role of Duck Dodgers Starsuck Jones, as past strips indicated? Or did you switch mid-production from box office gold to wide-eyed newbie, much as your co-star Marianne Whazzername did? How about instead, “I decided to become a fitness guru, so I traded my Stratocaster for a Thighmaster!” “My back hurt from playing guitar, so I traded my Stratocaster for a mustard plaster!” “I went to work designing fake columns for wall ornamentation, so I traded my Stratocaster for a pilaster!”

  7. Banana Jr. 6000

    So you gave up your 1950s guitar because you couldn’t surpass a 1960s band and joined a 2018 movie. Um, that chronology skips most of your life. Who are you, Walter Jameson?

    • Doghouse Reilly

      Submitted for your approval, a nice TZ reference!

      • Banana Jr. 6000

        Honestly, it was the first thing I thought of after reading today’s strip. I’m a huge TZ buff.

        Les would make a good Twilight Zone character, wouldn’t he? “Meet Lester Moore. 49 years old. Author. A man who lives in the past. It is his job, his lover, his only friend. He builds shrines and monuments to it, so that the present may worship. But he is about to learn that the present commands respect as well…”

  8. Paul Jones

    When one remembers that he’d wasted a blog entry whining that for some reason, they’d changed the bullshit reason Flash gets to run at Impossible Speed, it becomes obvious that he’d regard it as an assault, an affront and a defeat to have to ask what bands Mason would really want to emulate.

  9. Count of Tower Grove

    Whaaaa—? Masone could’ve tried to be the Archies, maybe the Partridges.

  10. Batgirl

    “The Beatles? Weren’t they Paul McCartney’s old backup band?” (Joke from 1980s)

    Maybe TB chose a reference that his presumedly senescent readership would recognize.

  11. Hitorque

    It’s funny because Batiuk doesn’t know any popular musical references beyond 1969… At least he didn’t say Masone wanted to be Elvis…