Pin Pull Wizard

Link To Today’s Strip

These “Funky at the gym” arcs don’t really give you a lot of material to work with. Another bland gag from a bland character in a bland setting in a bland comic strip. Of course it could be worse, but that’s all relative. At least it’s kind of a joke, so there is that. In fact in December you could go back and review 2020 and pick out the ten “best” individual strips and this one would probably make the cut, which is not an endorsement. Actually it’s downright depressing.


Filed under Son of Stuck Funky

26 responses to “Pin Pull Wizard

  1. billytheskink

    Only TB could have us wishing a stack of weights was a grenade…

  2. William Thompson

    If Funky is pulling his leg, he doesn’t have what it takes to make that work, either.

  3. Where’s trainer Babyface? Shouldn’t he be helping out, or did he decide he didn’t want Funky’s death on his hands?

  4. justifiable

    Really? A guy who has his own pizzeria, which requires some amount of manual labor, can’t pull out a pin in the gym he apparently pays a membership to and which also provides him with a personal trainer? How’d he ever manage to drive there, since turning a steering wheel is sooooo hard?
    When you hate your title character THIS MUCH, time to just change the name of the fucking strip to “My Hero Les Moore the Author, Who’s Really Me.”

    • Epicus Doomus

      BatHack killed off the other overweight sad-sack character, so it’s safe to wager that Funky won’t be achieving any personal victories and/or goals at the gym anytime soon. Fat jokes are perfectly acceptable in a sad-sack context and they’re the easiest jokes of them all, thus a fat sad-sack character is pretty much a necessity if the guy who writes this thing plans on wrapping up another year by MLK Jr. Day.

      Being overweight isn’t a prerequisite for sad-sack status, of course (see: Becky, Linda, Boy Lisa, Crazy, John, Wally) but you ideally always want a fat guy as your top sad-sack, your “leading” sad-sack as they say in Hollywood.

      • justifiable

        I anticipate Battocks running him into the ground while elevating Less to Oscar-levels of achievement, because he really needs that petty triumph. It’s actually too bad Funky’s a recovering alcoholic, because there’s a “butt of sack” joke out there that’s just begging to be deployed.

      • William Thompson

        Let’s not forget Butter Brinkel, the comically-obese comedian whose fate was more fun than a barrel of monkey.

        • justifiable

          But even as a star, he was never Todd’s hapless sad sack fat-boy punching bag. BB was a terrible human being, yet was still given a sort of Less Moore hero status, to the point that the Valentine is actually screening his movies a decade prior to the “truth” being known. He not only addicted a helpless animal to alcohol and nicotine, which Todd seems to think was hysterically funny, but “protected” the monster he created when he murdered a woman. Even Todd’s McCarthy-defying previously oh-so-moral Cliff Anger was retconned to be decades older to enable this farce so BB and the chimp could vanish together into some mystical movie fog, showing that you can be a martyr for the First Amendment and still not give a fuck about any sort of justice for the individual.

      • Banana Jr. 6000

        I note also that these “sad sacks” Bull and Funky are the two of the most decent people in the strip. Funky’s hired lots of people who needed jobs, replaced the stolen money from the Lisa’s Legacy run, overcame alcoholism, and seems to genuinely love his wife. Bull was a successful athlete and coach in a town synonymous with failure, helped Summer rehab her knee so she could get a scholarship, and tried hard to make amends for his bullying ways.

        But these characters are author punching bags. While Les, who never said so much as “thank you” for any of the many kind gestures he received, and even refused to forgive Bull at his funeral, is the hero. It’s appalling.

        • The worst recent development was the revelation that Bull had been making annual contributions to the Lisa’s Legacy Fund. Aside from this making no sense at all, the way it was presented was nauseating. You see, Bull’s act didn’t mean that he was a decent, caring person; no, no, it meant that Les’ suffering touched everyone, and his continued hyping of Lisa’s death was a noble, inspiring cause.

          • Banana Jr. 6000

            Furthermore, this donation was presented to Les as proof of Bull’s friendship. As if he had done nothing else in his life. As if Bull’s fealty needed to be proven to Les Moore’s satisfaction. And it’s Bull’s own wife doing this! Right after he killed himself! And, after Les whined at the man’s funeral about how much his feelings were hurt. Christ, what an asshole.

  5. The Nelson Puppet

    How ridiculous is it that TB is writing a storyline about gyms when gyms around the world are shut down? Writing a comic strip a year ahead of time makes Batiuk seem tone deaf to current events AT BEST. AT WORST, he seems indifferent to the changed world around us.

    • William Thompson

      How ridiculous is it that TB is writing? That part is timeless yet always timely.

  6. Doghouse Reilly

    You know, coming off as an overweight, hopelessly out of shape, and generally witless gym dweeb whilst wearing a shirt with the logo and name of your pizza restaurant may not be the best business promotional strategy.

  7. Paul Jones

    Watching a lazy slob being a billboard for a restaurant is bad enough without the knowledge that Batiuk is too himself to ask to have these arcs pulled out of respect for the sick and dying.

    • justifiable

      Didn’t you know? Todd “I’m a storyteller” Battocks is actually our savior during this crisis!
      “I want to let you know that the Funkyverse remains a safe harbor to help us slip away from these times for a bit. That’s my job and I’m determined to provide you that place both in the strips and in this blog. Story [my bold] is what will navigate us through all of this, and I’ll do my very best to keep ’em coming.” – TB (ironically, also a lethal disease)

      FYI: the nausea you feel at reading this probably isn’t a COVID-19 symptom. Apparently “story” is now a full-blown entity given to us pitiful mortals by Olympian Todd, in much the same way Athena erupted from Zeus’s brow.

      • Rusty Shackleford

        He loves to pat himself on the back. But does he go back and update his strips to be more topical? Nah, too much work. Easier to just tell people I care and rerun the same tired old bits ad nauseam.

        Funky goes to the gym, Crankshaft orders seeds. How about having one of them catch the virus? How about having Les struggle with online teaching? But what do I know, I’m no Pulitzer nominated somebody.

      • William Thompson

        Now I see a teenage Zeus popping a giant zit on his forehead.

      • Batgirl

        The most out-of-touch part of TB’s testimonial there is the idea that his strip – with brain damage, cancer, suicide (2 attempts plus 1 success), addiction, murder, child neglect and abandonment (implied), PTSD, loveless marriages, etc etc is somehow an escape from the present situation.
        Does he not read his own work?

        • justifiable

          He sure as hell can’t read a room, so no wonder he’s tone deaf about the strip itself.

  8. Jimmy

    Re: the banner…I can’t wait for the storyline focusing on adult Tin Tin next week.

    • In honor of the 10th anniversary of Son of Stuck Funky, I turned on the random header feature in WordPress, so that banner changes every time you refresh the page. It’s every header from the past ten years. Let me know if anyone else is seeing/enjoying them; it actually hides the header on my iPhone…

      • Banana Jr. 6000

        I noticed and I’m enjoying them. Actually I wondered if it always did that and I just never noticed.

      • I would rate my enjoyment as “yes.”

      • Charles

        It’s working. I’ve got black and white Mason Jarr faces away from the audience as he listens blandly to the director talk about how his co-star might be committing suicide over something someone said on the internet.

        Thanks for reminding me of that thunderingly dumb story.

  9. comicbookharriet

    If the pin is hard to pull out it means the weights are still engaged somehow by the machine. Which means that pulling the pin out is potentially dangerous. Crossing my fingers that we at least get an interesting gym death here.