Pickup Basketball

We’ll have to take Les’ word about the “beauty” of Mason and Cindy’s second home: what we’ve been shown for the last three days, the exterior resembles a loading dock. We don’t get to see much of the interior: most of the scenery is obscured by word zeppelins. I’m sure it’s not Batiuk’s intent, but there still feels like a lot of sexual tension between these two. I’m not able to dig up the strip where Les first meets Lisa (help me out, billytheskink), but Les’ “main pickup move” must have been strong indeed with Cayla, as seen in this 2008 strip.


Filed under Son of Stuck Funky

28 responses to “Pickup Basketball

  1. William Thompson

    Is Cindy coming on to Les? Her words and body language make her sound like someone who’s obsessed with laying Les. Of course that could be Batiuk speaking, in which case there’s nothing surprising about this.

    • Rusty Shackleford

      Bleh. My goodness Batty is pathetic.

    • Christopher Robin

      As seduction techniques go, mentioning the man’s current wife twice in rapid succession for no apparent reason is kind of lacking. She picks up the slack quickly afterward, though, since there’s no better way to get Less going than to bring up his dead wife and point out that you’ve read his book in the same sentence.

  2. Epicus Doomus

    I’m not going to speculate on why this Les/Cindy interaction had to include a bunch of way out of character wry flirty banter, as BatYap’s various bizarre quirks and tics have been well documented plenty of times before. But it is kind of weird how over the last few years the Cindy character has been bimbo-ed up by around 90% or so, as she was always more of a narcissist than anything else. The real Cindy would not have asked or cared about Les’ disgusting romantic escapades, but the new one is apparently a giggling ditz who can’t stop thinking about dating and boys. It’s a disturbing trend.

    • Christopher Robin

      Funky Winkerbean: It’s a Disturbing Trend!(tm)

    • Banana Jr. 6000

      A giggling ditz who can’t stop thinking about dating and boys, while at the same time bragging about her wealth and possessions, which she only has because of who she’s married to.

  3. billytheskink

    I got you.

    • Epicus Doomus

      Does that say 1983? My God, I was a mere child and FW was ALREADY ruined. Introducing Lisa was the end of FW, it was all downhill from there. Les was fine as a one-note caricature but “humanizing” him was such a massive, disastrous mistake. The hapless high school dweeb might have gone on to become a genuinely iconic comic strip character like Linus or Sarge, but he decided Les needed a girlfriend and here we are, thirty-seven years later, still rehashing it.

      • billytheskink

        That was 1985. Lisa’s first appearance was in November 1984 and Les technically meets her for the first time in that appearance. Barry Balderman, who would later forfeit WHS class of 92/88/78 valedictorian by having a nervous breakdown, mocks her neurotic behavior.

        • CRM114

          Yeah. Strange as to how the strips were really funny back then…Lisa wasn’t taken too seriously with her ski goggle glasses and all….then Batty became the serious and brooding author….and it was all downhill afterwards…Batty started believing his own press clippings about himself.

    • Christopher Robin

      Given that he apparently didn’t even know her name in this panel, it seems likely that Less literally thinks this was the moment that Lisa’s story (as well as Lisa’s Story) began.

    • Perfect Tommy

      Where do you get these wonderful toys?

  4. Jimmy

    Does anyone else get the creep vibe off this, meaning Les will use the bleachers once again to score a victim? Blech!

    • William Thompson

      My impression is that Cindy had a set of bleachers installed in the back yard. Or maybe Hershey Barr Who Wasn’t At All A Black Stereotype had an indoor basketball court installed on the roof, complete with bleachers.

    • Banana Jr. 6000

      What’s so creepy is that Les doesn’t even do anything. He just knows how to sit in a big, empty bleacher in a way that telegraphs “Boo hoo hoo, I am such a lonely and sensitive artist. Please recognize that my closed-off body language is false, and come sit next to me.” And it works!

  5. Banana Jr. 6000

    I grew up in south Florida, and this is like watching the dating scene there. Especially Les in the third panel. That “Yep…” is the expression of every 53-year-old single jackoff, who owns a dubious real estate or construction business, driving around town in his overpriced, non-performance convertible and his white Tommy Bahama shirt. He’s even got the sunburned bald spot. He’s only missing the cargo shorts, the embroidered marlin on the shirt pocket, and “Margaritaville” on an endless loop. The cologne I leave to your imagination, but rest assured there’s a lot of it.

    Cindy is every flirty middle-aged ex-stripper barmaid who was never as hot as she thinks she still is. Her three kids are off visiting their three different fathers, so her deeply-mortgaged, crumbling limestone house is empty for a couple hours with this gem of a man. She dreams of finally finding a reliable husband and provider, but this will never materialize.

    They both know where this will end up, but they honor the ritual of forced, juvenile sexual banter. They’ve both done this many, many times, despite it never giving them the fulfilment they need, but it never occurs to them to try something different.

    • Rusty Shackleford

      Cindy has the duck lips, the work done on her face gives her that alien ET look. She complains endlessly about all the men that let her down. She gets uncomfortably friendly with her son’s friends….ah, too easy…you get the picture.

  6. Doghouse Reilly

    Man oh Manischewitz, the erotic tension between these two has been so thick the past couple of days you could cut it…and I wish Battyuk had!

  7. Charles

    If the buildings on either side of the frame are neighboring houses, Starbuck Jones didn’t buy Mason all that impressive a mansion in the “Hills”.

    It’s amazing that Batiuk decides to have these two spend a week discussing some incident from high school when he’s actually set up the strip to discuss Lisa’s Story, which I would have thought would be his favorite thing. I know he’s going to spend next week discussing how “Hollywood” is going to destroy his “perfect book”, but I would have thought that topic would have been something he couldn’t get enough of.

    Apparently retconning Les as a ladies man was more important to him.

  8. Paul Jones

    The irritating thing about a basketball court being Les’s favourite pick-up spot is having to remember that Summer plays basketball. Instead of supporting his child when he watches her play, Creephead is probably thinking about how he wooed Lisa back in the day and getting off on it.

    • William Thompson

      Is that what Creepy Les did during the lost years between acts two and three? Encourage Summer to play basketball so he’d have an excuse to revisit the scene of the crime? “Summer! Enough of doing homework and playing with dolls! Time for you to win my approval by shooting hoops!” Did Dead Fucking Lisa record a tape that encouraged Summer to play? “Now that I’m Dead, Your Father Needs Your Help To Catch The Second Woman In His Life.” If Summer ever starts a family, will Les bring an infant-sized basketball-player uniform to the baby shower? Or will he pressure her into adopting a talented orphan, to save time?

    • Batgirl

      I’m impressed that Summer became an athlete and won a scholarship for it, since it’s canon that Les can’t cook anything harder than hotdogs and frozen peas, so her childhood nutrition must have been severely lacking. I wonder if the Bushkas fed her?
      I know that is kind of off-topic but it really irritated me when Les was so effing smug about not being able to make a decent dinner even for a date with Cayla. (You had a child to raise, you neglectful jerk. Learn some base-level life skills!)

      • Christopher Robin

        Really, anything anyone ever says to Less should end with “Learn some base-level life skills!”

      • Gerard Plourde

        The fact that Les was unable to cook for Cayla is even more unacceptable given that Summer was only about four years old when Lisa died. It borders on criminal that for at least ten years he did nothing to learn about basic nutrition to ensure that his daughter would grow up healthy. (Of course this would never cross TomBa’s mind.)

  9. Gerard Plourde

    Has TomBa been reading 9 Chickweed Lane and Pibgorn again?

  10. William Thompson

    “Sitting in the bleachers” is a move? It’s one step away from “Playing dead,” and given Les’s necrophilia that may be his favorite tactic.