Barr to Bubu to Jarre

Composer of Wacky Names Tom Batiuk is batting .500 with today’s strip. “Hershey Barr” is a little childish, sounds too much like “Mason Jarre,” and, as a rapper name, could almost be construed as racist (whatever else Batiuk is, he’s not racist). “Bubu Zayla,” after I took a moment to say it out loud and think about it in an “alt-Latina” context, actually made me chuckle, even if the whole vuvuzela thing dates back to the 2010 World Cup. Seems odd that a house with a multi-car garage would be laid out in a manner that requires you to exit the garage after parking in order to get into the house. I also wonder which of the previous owners saw fit to install a tampon vending machine next to the front door.

41 Comments

Filed under Son of Stuck Funky

41 responses to “Barr to Bubu to Jarre

  1. Epicus Doomus

    Good ol’ Hollywood, where it’s cool to capitalize of the failings of others. Funky ought to move there, he’d practically be a maker of kings. “Hershey Barr”??? Ummmm yeah, OK, whatever you say there Tom. I guess it’s better than “MC Squared” but then again not really.

  2. Gerard Plourde

    Of course he got the origin of the name vuvuzela wrong. That name derives from the Zulu name given to the instrument during the 2010 World Cup tournament in South Africa (similar instruments have existed in Latin America but not with that name).

  3. William Thompson

    Put a lidde on it, Mrs. Jarre.

  4. William Thompson

    Keep blathering about luck, Cindull! It sounds a lot like the “O Fortuna” passage from Karl Orff’s Carmina Burana.

    • Christopher Robin

      Not often to find such a tidy textbook example of both hubris and schadenfreude at the same place.

  5. Doghouse Reilly

    “…and now here we are, the creations of Hack Penman!”

  6. Doghouse Reilly

    …AND WHEN ARE YOU GETTING TO THE FAKAKTA PITCH MEETING??? I CAN’T TAKE A SECOND WEEK OF THIS!!!

  7. Jimmy

    Tom sure zinged South Africa from a decade ago. Ouch!

  8. Christopher Robin

    “Ha, ha! Sure, this house may cycle through entertainers whose fortunes temporarily rose then declined, but with Lisa’s Story on the table, our continued comfortable wealth is guaranteed!”

  9. billytheskink

    Rap and Latin music are on the way out… it’s adaptations of mouldering sci-fi movie serials and defunct comic books that rule the pop culture landscape.

    1/4″ from reality, folks…

  10. Christopher Robin

    Seriously, though, two days in a row where literally nothing happens except “a woman talks about her house as she and a guest approach it”? No jokes aside from a couple of mildly jokey names, no plot movement, not even a clear view of either character’s face, nothing but some comments about a house which certainly don’t seem at all likely to become important later. Even by the standards of a soap strip this is bizarrely empty of content.

    On the other hand, if it does turn out later that a clear understanding of the house’s layout is important to establish, which in fiction nearly always happens only if a murder occurs there, I suppose I can forgive a lot.

    • William Thompson

      Some will be forgiven if Zanzibarre the Murder Chimp is in there, lounging in a recliner as he smokes a cigar and fondles his revolver. “We’ve been expecting you, Mr. Moore.”

  11. Hitorque

    1. Bubu Zayla works as some Afro-Caribbean or especially Afro-Brazilian pop starlet, but Hershey Barr?! Fuck you, Batuik. Just quit with the punny names already because you utterly suck donkey dong at it.

    2. Why does their “stock” have to go down? Why couldn’t they have moved on to bigger and better things? Fuck you for being born on third base and acting like you hit a triple, Cindye. Batuik can’t yank that undeserved magic carpet out from under you and Masone fast enough. And since you pretend to be a Hollywood insider, at least say “Q rating” instead of “stock”.

    • William Thompson

      They couldn’t move on to bigger and better things, because that would imply the Jarres didn’t have the very best. And this way the Jarres will be able to show of the most decadent and vulgar trappings possible, without taking the rap for having included them in their humble mansion. They’re basically the Hollywood Hillbillies, without Buddy Ebsen’s sense of decency.* “Hey, Les, want a dip in the cement pond in our other back yard?”

      *It took me a long time to appreciate that show. I always felt it was making fun of my uncle, who was a hillbilly.

  12. Hitorque

    Cindy Sommers Winkerbeane Jarre is what’s known as a “two-dimensional” Funkyverse character. Not only can she drone endlessly about how awesome her high school years were, she can drone on endlessly about how wealthy and beautiful and famous and Instagram perfect her life is to the point that even the Kardashians are green with envy

  13. Paul Jones

    The really annoying thing is that Dumbass is basing the name Hershey Barr on one stupid thing: chocolate is brown. He shoulda swiped from The Boondocks and had either Ganstalicious or Eatdirt own the joint.

    • Hitorque

      What I hate the most is it takes all of 45 seconds to come up with a *good* punny name for a rap artist, but even that was too much effort for him..

  14. sgtsaunders

    Rapper “Hershey Barr”?!? A chocolate rapper? I think I can officially call Battic a Soda Cracker now.

  15. Count of Tower Grove

    When Masone and Cindull’s stock falls, the comedian Herb P. Simplex II will by the house in the Hills.

  16. Charles

    You know, going back to the topic from a couple days ago:

    Cindy was Funky’s wife. That should have completely ended any notion in Les’s mind that she was some unattainable goddess. If pizza flunky Funky is good enough for her, well, she’s not really all that special.

    He should be more amazed that the apparent Most Famous Actor in the World decided to marry her. She went from Funky to THE A-list celebrity! A guy who talks about romance as “wrestling out of his weight class” would be quite aware of that disparity. Plus, him marveling out loud to Cindy about this development would be totally consistent with his shithead character.

    • Epicus Doomus

      This baffled me too. This isn’t the first time they’ve seen each other since high school, she was MARRIED TO his BEST FRIEND for years. They had to have hung out together all the time. I still know women I knew back in the olden days and when we see one another we don’t immediately go back to that night at the drive-in back in ’85, we talk about normal things.

  17. Charles

    I also wonder which of the previous owners saw fit to install a tampon vending machine next to the front door.

    You know, I think Batiuk just had Ayers recreate a picture of a residential building they saw in LA unaware that that panel is an apartment building doorbell.

  18. I’d love to ask Batiuk what a reader is supposed to get out of this episode. I suspect he’d say he’s grown beyond catering to readers, and is indulging in Les-worship self-indulgence. “I wasted a lot of years on ‘readers.'”

    • LTPFTR

      All part of his “get to the 50th anniversary with the least amount of effort on my part” plan.

    • Banana Jr. 6000

      I think the story is trying to familiarize the audience with Hollywood, by illustrating that Hollywood people are wealthy, and have many expensive things. As if an establishing shot of the Hollywood sign would have been too subtle. He even put Hollywood “Hills” in quote marks, like he’s introducing an unfamiliar term.

      Honestly. I think that’s it. That’s how stupid Tom Batiuk thinks his audience is. And since we come here and analyze this sub-hackery every day, maybe we are.

  19. Rusty Shackleford

    Well at least Mary Worth has been great this week. Miss “nothing dawns on her” Dawn tours NYC with her arrogant French boyfriend…Mr “everything is better in France”. Too bad there are no non-French restaurants in New York, because they just can’t make anything like the do back home.

    • Rusty Shackleford

      I’m also enjoying Crankshaft this week because not only is Lillian not selling any books, but the insults she is receiving must be inspired by what happened to Batty as he worked various book fairs.

  20. Banana Jr. 6000

    Hershey Barr sounds like the house rapper on a Nick Jr. show. And the Hershey Corporation paid a sponsorship fee to have him included.

  21. Jim Ruth

    I think the machine vends condoms, not tampons.

  22. Double Sided Scooby Snack

    Well, OBVIOUSLY, these idiots are headed for financial downfall. Nobody telegraphs his plotlines like the great “writer,” Tommi BatHack. You can imagine him up there in his mom’s attic wearing sleeve garters and a plastic visor.

    “But… But Masonne! What happened to all the money we made on Starsuck Jones???”

    “I gave it all to the Lisa Larceny Fund. The bank is foreclosing on all our houses. We have 48 hours to get out. But don’t worry, Cin! Funky promised us a room above Montoni’s! Maybe I can get my old job back at the auto parts store! We’ll be fine!”

    “I don’t want an Okie from Muskogee! I can get that HERE! I’m going with Les. He’s a WRITER!” Let’s go, Les!”

  23. Banana Jr. 6000

    The Angry Video Game Nerd responds to “Hershey Barr”,”Bubu Zayla”, and Tom Batiuk’s stupid names in general. OK, it’s a ten-year old clip, but it’s spot on.

    • Banana Jr. 6000

      Watch from 7:53 to 9:00. The link I posted is supposed to start at 7:53, but the dynamic HTML capabilities of this blog hate me.