Senseless Sisyphean Soliloquy.

Link to today’s strip

Comic Book Harriet here; stretching out her snarking muscles to warm up for this marathon of nonsense.

A long long time ago, when the world was young and Bush was president, I decided to join the Cross Country team. I wouldn’t call what I did on that team ‘running’, because that is an gross insult to the vital skill set that allowed our ancestors to chase down game and flee sabertooth tigers. If we are being extremely generous, we could call my half-hearted efforts ‘jogging’. Just like you could be generous and call the multicolored scribbles of a toddler ‘art’.

As my oxygen deprived brain would send gasping signals to my leaden legs to shuffle forward in a jerky shamble, my entire torso was consumed in the effort of sucking in air and huffing it out like I had swallowed a miniature iron lung.

Sometimes, when one of the more naturally athletic teammates would approach from behind to lap me, (again), they would attempt to engage me in conversation; but a few painfully wheezed one word replies were all I could ever manage.

Never in a million years would I have taken the effort and energy and oxygen to laboriously explain to myself, on an empty track, self-evident and pointless facts OUT LOUD.

Thought bubbles, Tom. They’re a thing.

27 Comments

Filed under Son of Stuck Funky

27 responses to “Senseless Sisyphean Soliloquy.

  1. This looks to be the start of something extremely stupid.

  2. billytheskink

    The Lisa run is in October. You got time Funky.

    • Epicus Doomus

      Only one person on Earth is thinking about Lisa’s Legacy in May and it’s not Funky.

  3. Banana Jr. 6000

    I was going to comment that a charity run isn’t something you have to train for, or beat your personal best. But in Westview, I bet it is. Can’t you just see Les at the finish line with a clipboard?

    “Tsk-tsk, Funky. You’re 30 seconds slower than last year, and your donation was down. Don’t you want to honor Lisa’s memory? I think you need to come over and watch Lisa’s Tape #43 again for inspiration “

  4. William Thompson

    Don’t talk while you’re running, funky. Remember this rule: thought bubbles are for bubble-brains.

  5. Epicus Doomus

    Sigh. Lisa’s shadow looms over all. Why can’t he just be exercising in order to not die the way he usually does? Lisa’s Legacy isn’t until October, why does he need five months to prepare? Why is he thinking about Lisa’s Legacy at all? And does the sad-sackery really need to be so aggressive and in-your-face here? He’s a big fat sweaty gasping loser…we get it.

  6. Jimmy

    Funky has a successful business, he overcame alcoholism, and he made the most out of a second chance at life. He even accepted that he needed to be humbled. I could understand Batiuk rewarding hm, but no, it has to be that turd Les.

    I guess Batiuk is still bitter he came up with such a stupid name for a strip.

    • William Thompson

      Nowhere near as stupid as anything involving his author-avatar. “More of Les,” anyone? “Hu-moore Les?”

    • Banana Jr. 6000

      Funky is probably the least objectionable character in the strip. He gives people a job when they need it. He replaced the stolen Lisa’s Legacy money (which Les would never do, even if he weren’t having a complete mental breakdown about it). He and his wife Holly seem to actually like each other. But the universe just seems to enjoy crapping on him, in a Meg Griffin kind of way.

  7. William Thompson

    What does Funky mean by “hibernating?” Didn’t he have to shovel snow all through the six-month Westview Winter? He had workouts at Helga’s House of Horrors, and running a pizza kitchen isn’t exactly a desk job. If Batiuk really wants to do a serious story, for a change, why not look at what’s wrong with Funky’s health?

  8. Gerard Plourde

    Since we know that TomBa writes these strips about a year in advance, I wonder if at the time he was “priming the pump” anticipating his Spring and Summer book selling tour.

  9. Doghouse Reilly (Philadelphia)

    I must have missed the casting change. When did “Curly Joe” DeRita start playing Funky?

  10. Paul Jones

    And here we go again, watching Batiuk not understand thought-bubbles and also avenging himself on the BMOC for being cooler than that whiny and repellent skeeze Les.

    • William Thompson

      Funky wasn’t the BMOC, was he? Just a normal kid living a normal life and having a good time. Okay, I can see how Batiuk would resent that.

  11. Chyron HR

    Oh, that fat lazy slob Funky Winkerbean, always going to the gym and training for marathons. What a fat lazy slob!

  12. Count of Tower Grove

    It’s a run not a sprint. Why is Fungy on an outside lane?

  13. Rusty Shackleford

    This is nothing but a troll strip now. Wait, no, that would imply effort on Batty’s part. Lisa’s story never won any awards so now we all must be punished.

    Just give the baby his bottle already. Maybe an award from a cancer association?

  14. louder

    Perfect symbol of the comic: Running around in circles, wait for death, saying boring crap that means nothing, centering around a Lisa.

  15. Professor Fate

    And thus we take a break from the scintillating action of “Les saves the memory of the dead St. Lisa from Hollywood” to watch someone run around a track and talk about the dead St. Lisa memorial run.
    Mother of God. This strip has become a mobius strip of the utterly inane, self absorbed and boring.

  16. Perfect Tommy

    I was a bit apprehensive tuning in today. Another week of Les goes to Hollywood could of sent me on another multi-state killing spree.

  17. Batgirl

    Laying the groundwork for a Funky death-from-heartattack arc?

    • Count of Tower Grove

      Todd’s been teasing that out for years.

      • Banana Jr. 6000

        If he does, it’ll be during the Lisa’s Legacy run. It’ll be so much more meaningful for Les that way.

    • Cabbage Jack

      Funky Winkerbean, who died of a heart attack. Make sure to pick up your commemorative copy of the Lisa Legacy Trilogy at his wake!