Why don’t you go out and catch him?

Link to today’s strip

We’re only on our second day with Isaac the Robot Manservant, and Funky is already tired of the tin can. Look at his poor face in panel two. He was briefly excited at the idea of conversing with a sentient android of unknown origin. But the robot is just another smarmy asshole. Like everyone else in Westview.

Which is too bad, because robots make the best smarmy assholes. Marvin, Bender, HK-47, L-Ron, Lore. The only robot type more popular has to be the wide-eyed innocent Johnny Five type. Unfortunately for Isaac he apparated in the universe of insufferable twits, where his personality is only so much white noise and static.

Thank you to everyone who pointed out yesterday that our metallic mirage is supposed to be a Starbuck Jones side character who was shown on several of Batiuk’s prized commissioned comic covers he loudly auctioned off for roughly the price of a used car. I guess it explains why Funky would hallucinate him. The bulbed-headed desk lamp is probably rattling around in his subconscious from seeing him on the covers of comics when Holly was collecting.

Horrifying covers like this one.

32 Comments

Filed under Son of Stuck Funky

32 responses to “Why don’t you go out and catch him?

  1. Batiuk seems to have run out of ways to diminish his world, so now he’s focusing on diminishing everyone else’s world. Too bad his range of influence is…limited.

  2. William Thompson

    Try “Running like a pig on stilts.” Which would explain why Isaac is suddenly much taller.

  3. William Thompson

    Your “case,” Isaac? You still have your packing case? Get back in it!

  4. William Thompson

    Love the cover. Yo, Batiuk! What’s a “Manservent?” How often do you have to vent your manser?

  5. Epicus Doomus

    Funky is jogging with a talking robot. It’s another one of those sentences that could only exist here, another combination of words that have never been used together before. In my opinion this would be a new direction worth exploring, as at this point what would it matter anyway? Why not give Funky a new robot sidekick that only he can see? The Flintstones did it and it was a rousing success. Cliff owns a hard-drinking talking murder chimp? The better question is why WOULDN’T he?

    Ah who am I kidding? He can’t even write a joke, much less hilarious satire. Today’s joke is a gag for six year olds, unsophisticated six years olds at that. By Friday the robot will be asking Funky why the moron threw his clock out the window. But it’s fun to speculate nevertheless.

    • William Thompson

      The Flintstones had a talking robot? Do you mean the Great Gazoo? The annoying little green man with the supercilious accent, mischievous superpowers that ended up teaching Fred a lesson, and was kicked out of his continuum by the other superbeings? The one who was absolutely nothing like Star Trek’s Q?

      • Epicus Doomus

        Well, in fairness Gazoo wasn’t a robot but really, what’s the difference? An invisible robot sidekick certainly couldn’t HURT the strip.

        Coming soon: Dinkle and Owen pilot a charter boat with five passengers aboard: Les and Cayla, Cindy, Jessica and Jim Klabinchik. A terrible storm hits and their tiny ship becomes tossed. It sets down on the shore of an uncharted desert isle. The castaways are forced to make due and endure Owen’s endless bumbling. Dinkle hits Owen with his band hat.

    • billytheskink

      Along those lines, Les has/had Le Chat Bleu… though that was supposed to be a manifestation of his depression. That darn cat hasn’t appeared since 2014, which means… Les hasn’t been depressed since then? Could have fooled me.

      • Epicus Doomus

        As far as I remember the cat only appears when Les is depressed about writing, which he very rarely ever does anymore. A sneering sarcastic dismissive invisible talking cat who despises Les and follows him everywhere would be a welcome addition to the strip.

        Giving Funky a robot sidekick with Great Gazoo properties would make FW infinitely better. The robot could say everything the readers are thinking, he’d be taking the snark right out of our hands. Imagine Funky’s robot sidekick criticizing the strip itself within a story arc, they’d practically be throwing Pulitzers at him. He could even call him Snarky and, sadly, he probably would if he was a little more imaginative.

  6. Doghouse Reilly (Philadelphia)

    Yesterday it was commented more than once that the events were perhaps an oxygen-induced hallucination of Funky’s. Well, the mechanoman is still there, and I’m now convinced that this whole week is an oxygen-induced hallucination on MY part. I’m going to go lie down with volume one of “The Complete Calvin and Hobbes” on my forehead. Someone please let me know when this is over.

  7. justifiable

    “..several of Batiuk’s prized commissioned comic covers he loudly auctioned off for roughly the price of a used car.”

    You’ve no idea how much I fucking love this. Please tell me the car in question was a 1975 AMC Gremlin.

    • billytheskink

      Nah, running or salvageable Gremlins are rare and interesting enough to be worth something these days. Batiuk’s covers sold for closer to the dealer trade-in value of a 1993 Geo Metro.

    • Epicus Doomus

      Having one of those original covers in your house would inevitably lead to the inevitable question…”Funky Whozitsbean? Huh?”.

      • Followed by “You paid how much for that?”

        • comicbookharriet

          I went back and checked, because I didn’t want to disparage him, and the 20 or so covers he sold for the Lisa’s Legacy brought from a high of 1553.50 for a Neal Adams cover of Jupiter Moon, to 74 bucks if you wanted Randy Reynaldo’s Charlie and Chuck. Props to him though, the entire auction brought over 10K. So it would get you a decent Toyota with less than 100,000 miles.

          • billytheskink

            Preferably a mid-90s Toyota Tercel or Paseo (the sporty Tercel), the real life counterparts of the classic Batiukmobile®.



    • bigd1992

      73 Pinto

  8. spacemanspiff85

    Batiuk is veering into dangerous territory here. As much as this strip has been fixated on Starbuck Jones, Batiuk’s shown amazingly little of its actual content. I would’ve thought he’d have done actual SJ storylines and strips by now, but he hasn’t, he just has his characters talk about how awesome it is and has other people draw covers for it. I think either he really couldn’t write interesting stories for it or he’s embarrassed by what he did write. But showcasing Isaac here is just highlighting how boring his idea of a sassy robot sidekick is. Next week when Lilian can’t get out of the bathroom and Starbuck Jones shows up to inspire her should be similarly terrible.

    • Epicus Doomus

      Based on one fictional comic book title he created for an arc almost ten years ago, BatYam created an entire fictional Starbuck Jones sub-universe, then centered almost every SJ-related story around the most boring possible aspect of the whole thing: the fictional office where the fictional comic book was made. It’s a staggeringly dull artistic choice, one so unbelievably mundane it could only be the work of one man. He creates these vivid fictional worlds packed with all sorts of crazy characters, then focuses on two guys who look like Boy Lisa and Pete, two of the dullest characters in the strip.

    • Rusty Shackleford

      That’s why he never tried to self publish these. They are horrible. And he wonders why he was passed over by the major comic book publishers.

    • Banana Jr. 6000

      I don’t think Batiuk is capable of embarrassment or self-criticism. My guess is that he’s not interested in actual comic book story writing or world building. Just designing covers, paying someone to draw them, and telling us all how great it is. Which is odd for someone who is otherwise such a writing snob. But it is consistent with his pathological laziness, and his attitude that everything except him is doing the easy part.

  9. spacemanspiff85

    Also, a robot chasing a man down and asking him what happens when machines are “turned on” is kind of wrong on a certain level.

  10. Paul Jones

    Batiuk seems to think that he can go back to the days when the school computer beamed people up at random. He cannot.

  11. Double Sided Scooby Snack

    “Yeah, this has got to be a dream.”

    “Because of the stupid robot?”

    “No, because lardass Funky can run for more than 15 seconds.”

  12. Gerard Plourde

    I’m curious how TomBa will explain this interlude away (Hallucination due to Funky’s self administration of magic mushrooms? Another near death experience?) Or will he just drop the whole thing at the end of the week like he so often does? (Where are you, Zanzibar The Murder Chimp?)

  13. Batgirl

    I guess since it’s hard to pull the classic phone gags anymore, TB is repurposing them. This week it’s “Is your refrigerator running?”
    Next week will be “Do you have Prince Albert in a can?”

  14. bigd1992

    At least Les isn’t in it