“B” as in “Boring”

Link to today’s strip.

Odd, isn’t it, how much Mason and Dullard resemble each other.   Almost as if, on that night when Lisa was “assaulted,” both she and Frankie succumbed to the alcohol and passed out, and a passing student saw an opportunity…nah, Mason was probably five years old then, and besides, it’s too interesting for this strip.  Wouldn’t it be intriguing to find out that Mason was a completely terrible person, and this was some complicated revenge scheme?  Again, too interesting.

Better to make Mason pretty much clueless about the character he wants to portray, almost as if he’s never read Les’ book or spent any time with him.  Nine hours in a sweltering parking lot, that’s enough research for Mason!

31 Comments

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31 responses to ““B” as in “Boring”

  1. Epicus Doomus

    Well, if he’s doing a faithful adaptation of the cancer book and the whole ridiculous Boy Lisa fiasco is in there then yeah, it’s the f*cking B-story. Is Mason a real pal sincerely trying to do LS justice or is he a cynical scheming Hollywood scumbag looking to cash in on Lisa’s pathos-filled life and death?

    I suppose it’s totally possible that Mason never actually met Boy Lisa during the SJ shoot, as Mason’s a big star who wouldn’t be hanging around the storyboard room with some nobody from Ohio (ahem). They were both involved in an arc together, though, that being the infamous Frankie Goes To Hollywood arc, which began with Frankie menacing Boy Lisa and ended with Marianne climbing down from the top of the big H. Boy Lisa and Mason weren’t in the story at the same time, however, as why Frankie was bothering his bio-son again in the first place was never resolved.

    It’s by no means impossible but it does seem odd how no one on the SJ set put the arrival of Darin’s evil bio-dad and the mystery photographer together, as it just seems like the sort of thing people would talk about after the fact. He could have tied the whole thing together with a few panels of dialog but apparently he thinks it’s clever to have stories take wild turns out of nowhere then end with no resolution, just like how he thinks it’s clever how he shoehorned that Teen Pregnancy Arc mention in there today. As usual, he’s incorrect.

    • Hitorque

      Remember, Masone is already filthy rich… It’s the Oscars he whoring for now and Lisa’s Story must be a guaranteed winner…

  2. Captain Gladys Stoatpamphlet

    I like to think Mason is just screwing with Les now: tailing him to work, replacing Les’s personal photos with his own portrait.

  3. William Thompson

    Mason, you don’t need to look so admiring. That’s a photo, not a mirror . . . isn’t it?

  4. William Thompson

    Mason? Number Twelve Looks Just Like You.

  5. billytheskink

    Oh yes! YES! I cannot freaking wait to see Martin Johns direct the most riveting scene in the history of this strip!


    Also, it is hilarious that Les and Cayla have a framed headshot of Durwood sitting by its lonesome on a bookshelf, no photos of Summer or Keisha to be found…

    • Epicus Doomus

      I thought the same thing. Why does Les have a framed photo of Boy Lisa in his living room? I wonder if the Fairgoods have one.

      • batgirl

        How long before Summer follows Keisha down the memory hole and Darrin becomes Sole Heir to Dead Lisa?

    • I’m thinking that the Lisa’s Story sequel will be two hours of Darrin opening the letter.

  6. Jimmy

    So, you’re telling me Mason hasn’t met Darin? I don’t care to look back, but I’m sure they would have met during the Starbuck Jones filming or premier.

    • Gerard Plourde

      I agee. I could swear that they flew back to Ohio together on Mason’s jet at some point. And didn’t Mason hire Darin and Pete?

      • Yeah, I remember some horrible dream about…smothering? I mean, I think they all flew to Ohio to watch the Starbuck Jones serial at that crappy movie house.

      • Gerard Plourde

        Doesn’t TomBa keep records for continuity? One definite meeting and one likely meeting.

        SOSF 2018
        July 23-28
        Post Comic-Con, Cindy and Masone host the Moores and Fairgoods (where’s Crazy Harry?) at their beachfront villa, where they are joined by blissful “oldlyweds” Cliff and Vera.

        SOSF 2017
        July 2-August 5
        The gang attend the San Diego Comic-Con: John and Crazy Harry camp outside the convention center in lawn chairs while Mason and Cindy, Cliff and Vera, and Pete and Darin are ensconced at the Hotel del Coronado. The stars, along with director Martin Johns and Holtron, WHS’ ancient, sentient computer, are introduced to the Hall “H” crowd by Conan O’Brien to an adoring crowd. Afterwards, at the hotel, director Martin Johns shares with the Starbuck Jones crew a Tweet he received from Jeff Murdoch, suggesting that the film’s world premiere be held at Centerville’s Valentine Theater, which is owned by Jeff’s son Max and is barely able to stay in business. The gang hopes the event will allow them to keep the theater’s doors open.

        • Epicus Doomus

          I forgot all about those arcs.

          • Gerard Plourde

            Apparently so did TomBa. If he can’t be bothered to research to maintain continuity he established less than three years ago, he should return to the gag-a-day episodic format where continuity isn’t an issue. “Peanuts” is largely timeless because each day has a point and is complete in itself.

          • Banana Jr. 6000

            One of the best things about Peanuts is its character reactions. If Charlie Brown gets too mopey, or Lucy gets too pushy, or the other girls get too mean, they get called out on it. Even Marcie belted a kid once. Which was awesome, because that little prick deserved it. Not only does this develop interesting characters, but it drives an actual story.

  7. Banana Jr. 6000

    “I call it the B story”? Is Mason the screenwriter now? At this rate, he’s going to be every single name in the credits.

    Also, is he just now learning that Dead Saint Lisa gave up a child for adoption? How was this not a plot point in the first movie? Or Les’ book? Or when Frankie, the father, came around to annoy the Starbuck Jones production? Or when the Fairgoods went to their house, as Gerard Ploude points out?

    Batiuk seems to have evolved from “tell, don’t show” to “talk about, don’t tell.”

    • Jimmy

      He’s a regular Tommy Wisseau!

      • Banana Jr. 6000

        Wiseau and Johnston were at least trying to tell a story. Batiuk’s just talking in circles. His characters keep telling each other things they already know, so they can keep saying the word Lisa. Did you know she died of cancer? And there’s a trilogy of books about it, available wherever paperbacks are sold? Get your copy today!

  8. Paul Jones

    Batiuk appears to have succumbed to Lynn Johnston Syndrome in that he’s set aside established fact so he can tell the story ‘properly’. The stunted fungus people don’t realize that he can nullify Mason’s knowledge of Durwood because it’s called writing.

    It’s like how he forgot (because he didn’t bother looking it up in the first place) that he’d revealed that Les’s ‘machine gun’ was actually a music box.

  9. Chyron HR

    “It’s so wonderful he could find his REAL mother so he could ditch those losers that fed and clothed and raised him for 18 years.”

    • Paul Jones

      That’s what bothers me the most about this: Fred and Anne had to take a hit so we could fixate on an improbability: Lisa treating Darin like her child. Had she lived, I have no doubt that she would fill the niche usually filled by an aunt.

  10. Double Sided Scooby Snack

    This whole stunt Macaroon is pulling will severely backfire. He will study Goatee Boy until he effectively BECOMES Goatee Boy. The transition has already begun! We noticed how spindly and un-muscular Meh-son was yesterday. Next, he will lose most of his hair. Then the eyesight will go, and he’ll need specs. The high school will force him to work there, and his movie “career” will be over.

    Play stoopid games, win stoopid prizes.

  11. William Thompson

    Have Mason and Darrin met before? Yes; at the ComicCon debut of the SJ sizzle reel, for example, and at the movie’s premiere at the Valentine theater. This time there will not be another meeting. The stupidity of this plot is about to tear a hole in the fabric of spacetime itself, and Darrin will be hurled two decades into the past. He’ll land in the casting office of Cable Media Entertainment, where the head of casting will decide he has the perfect insipid look for the male lead in their bland romance movies and generic comedies. Darrin will realize he can’t use his name here, but when he sees a bottle of jelly beans on the director’s desk he will name himself after it. Thus begins the career of Mason Jarr, who is suddenly free of his boring family, and looks forward to hooking up with Cindy Summers. As a bonus, when Les Moore enters his new life, he can laugh at him behind his back, knowing exactly when and where Les will screw up.

  12. Hitorque

    Masone has already met Darrin multiple times, and he’s already visited the Moore house multiple times… At what point does Mr. Method Actor confess that he never bothered to read the book?

  13. Paul Jones

    It would make more sense if we were to see this:

  14. Westview Radiology

    The preferred term is “placed for adoption” not “gave up”.

    • Westview radiology

      We will also find out that St. Lisa gave birth to “identical twins”!! Mess-on and Dull-Rin…..