This way to today’s real strip.
- Home
- Batiuktionary
- Act III
- Other Crap
- 2017: The Bedside Manorisms in Memphis
- Batom Comics: The Untold History
- 2007 – Senior Class Trip to Washington D.C.
- 1996: Westview Post Office Bombing Arc
- 2001: Teen Pregnancy Arc
- 2003: John Byrne Steps In for Batiuk
- 2007: Darin Seeks His Birth Mother
- 2010: Funky’s Car Crash and Time Travel
- Act II “Flash” -back
- Kent State Mural by Batiuk and Ayers
- Meet Halle Dinkle
- Meet the (Act III) Cast
- Missing FW Cast Members
- The Starbuck Jones Covers
Funky Links
- The Official FW Blog
- funkywinkerbean.com
- Today's FW Strip
- crankshaftcomic.com
- Today's Crankshaft comic
- The Unofficial Funky Winkerbean Fan Page
- Funky Winkerbean Cafe Press Store
- Halle Dinkle
Other Links
SoSF on Twitter
My TweetsSearch SoSF
Archives
-
Tags
Adeela Ann Fairgood Atomik Komix basketball Batiukmobile® Batom Comics Becky Boy Lisa bricks Buddy Bull Cayla cellphone Christmas chullo Cindy Cliff Anger Cody Cody and Owen coffee Comic-Con comic books comics Cory Crazy Harry Darin Dead Skunk Head Dinkle Falling leaves Flash Freeman football Funky Funky Winkerbean Harry Dinkle hatchet face holidays Holly Hollywood hoodie Jessica John Keisha Komix Korner Les Les' yellow shirt Linda Lisa Lisa's Story Marianne Marianne Winters Mason Mason Jarr Mason Jarre Mindy Montoni's Montoni's Mopey Pete Nate Owen Pete photo album corners pizza Rachel random students Ruby Lith silhouette smirk snow sports squiggly lines Starbuck Jones Summer technology Tony traveling green shirt unnatural hand gestures Wally Westview High School Westview HS Band writing
Son of Stuck Funky · The web's premiere source for Funky Winkerbean snark
Son of Stuck Funky 
LOL oh man, that old Cayla & Nate gag never gets old! That goes back a ways here at SoSF.
Yeah, sure Tom. It’s real plausible that Cayla would be “worried” about some hot young twenty-something Hollywood starlet sinking her well-manicured talons into her whiny Lisa-obsessed bearded schlub of a spouse. I suppose that maybe in this story it is, but in reality not so much. Look at the arrogance on display in panel two, where Dickface positively exults in rubbing his wife’s nose in his smugness. He “loves” her like I “love” Crankshaft. What. A. Dick.
I can’t believe Cayla got actual dialog today. Sure, it’s entirely about Les and one of her two lines is over the phone so you don’t even see her, but still, an appearance is an appearance. I bet you that characters like Jff and Buck have had more dialog in 2020 than she has. She’s MARRIED TO the strip’s main character yet she’s as obscure as Klabicknik or Adeela is. Only a writer like BatHam could pull that off.
Maybe it’s more a matter of he tried to run off with an actress, but Marianne told him she doesn’t have daddy issues.
“And here comes Starbuck Jones star Marianne Winters, dressed to kill in her Bob Mackie original, along with her guest, who’s her frumpy gay uncle or something”.
This strip might be wish fulfillment for creepy older men who are delusional enough to think young women still find them attractive.
I can’t imagine the kind of person who would clip this out and attach it to the fridge.
And Cayla IS a younger woman, at least by Les’ standards. She could have done way, way, way better IMO. Not overweight, two arms…she has it all.
To be fair, when an A-list actor like Masone Jarre plausibly wifed up a woman 20 years his senior (but luckily for her she ages in reverse) who has enough emotional baggage and family drama to fill the Grand Canyon, all bets were off…
Les’s face in panel doesn’t really match Cayla’s response.
It does match the rational response of hysterical laughter.
> panel 3
The thought of this egotistical, gross dweeb running off with anyone makes me violently ill.
The only thing I want to see him running off with is a pack of ravenous wolves.
Or, as Shakespeare would direct, “exit stage left pursued by a bear”
What’s the word when someone is so egotistical that he turns his wife’s genuine concern into a gloating insult?
And yeah, the idea that anyone would find Les attractive in any aspect is pure fantasy. Even Tolkien wouldn’t attempt it.
H.P. Lovecraft, on the other hand, would return from the dead for the chance to describe such an eldritch horror.
The only way Les could run off with a Hollywood actress would be if he robbed Theda Bara’s grave.
Technically he “ran off” with Marianne when he carried her from Masone’s burning house. I’m almost surprised that he didn’t quip about that, but as perfectly infuriating as that would have been, TB’s just not that clever.
I’m surprised he didn’t complain that he got a hernia because she weighed more than Lisa.
Your version’s better. Of course.
Wow, only took forever and a day to call her! Again, why hadn’t he done this before boring Marianne half to death?! Plus a smirk and a tacky joke? Well, why on Earth not?
Uggggggh, this is just awful.
I wonder if TomBa has any inkling of how infuriating Les’ expression in panel 2 is? As Epicus writes upthread the arrogance and smugness jump off the page. Also, what does it say about the marriage if cheating on Les’ part is a major concern? Oddly, that’s never appeared in the arcs when Les is on his book tours where a smitten (and most likely, insecure) woman might try to hook up with a published author. Why he would be at all on anyone’s radar (especially an actor) is purest Batiukian fantasy.
“Yeah, heh heh heh. While I was out here making movies and saving Hollywood starlets you were home feeling all worried and insecure, weren’t you? WEREN’T YOU? HAhahahaha! Well that’s what you GET for being second-best, loser!”
Les brought Cayla to Hollywood during the cancer movie genesis arc and Cayla’s biggest concern was that Les had hooked up with Cindy way back when. So this icky scenario runs real deep.
“How are you doing?” or “You should have seen Mason in action!” or any non-assholian follow-up would have been hard on him, I know. But holy crap, that was extremely assholian!
Oh yeah, that’s classic mental masturbation from Batty. Cindy is just kicking herself for not doing a better job of reeling Les in.
It’s Les’ treatment of Cayla in general that makes this so disgusting. This kind of joke is okay with a loving couple. Not when one partner uses the other as a dumping ground for his feelings about someone else. And is so egotistical he might actually think he could get a movie star. And this is all treated as an insecurity on Cayla’s part, when Les gives her ample reason to doubt his fidelity.
There isn’t even a word for what Les is. He is the most vile characters ever conceived.
And he cares so little about Cayla, he had that phone the whole time and had to yammer about Lisa before calling her. To a woman whose whole life has just become a huge question mark thanks to the fire.
She was probably saying “Crap, there goes the big life insurance settlement” as soon as she heard his voice.
Oh, absolutely. Time for Plan B, as in belladonna.
If this were a loving couple, the response would be, “Go ahead and give it a try, Sparky!”
Dang straight it would be. Followed by “and then you’ll find your belongings including your Lisa tapes, in a box on MY front porch.”
What an asshole
Cayla’s original Panel Three balloon: “Yeah, I thought about that, but then I remembered that the dogs that played Lassie were almost all males.”
Cayla’s got nothing to worry about. Les would never cheat on Lisa.
Les once made out with Lisa…who’d been dead for years at the time, mind you…at a party where TWO single women were battling for his affections. Cayla literally had to force Les to, uh, “consummate the relationship”, which is an arc I’ll never forget no matter how hard I try.
I’m beginning to realize why Kent State is printing these. The scenarios and relationships depicted could serve as hypotheticals for aspiring clinical psychologists.
It really would. I’d love to see a marriage counselor, relationship expert, or graduate student analyze Les and Cayla’s marriage. It is a masterclass in passive-aggressive abuse. Les’ “jokes” are always at the expense of Cayla’s valid concerns. Most of their activities together involve worshipping at Les’ shrine to another woman.
He doesn’t even treat her with workplace respect. He brought “Baton Thomas” to school and didn’t tell her, even though it’s the school secretary’s job to know who’s on campus. And then humiliated her in front of him, by asking her trivia she wasn’t prepared for. And this is all a big punchline to Les.
Les Moore is an excellent character study of a psychopath. Most psychopaths in fiction are killers, but Les is non-violent. He’s a milder kind of psychopath, the kind you might have to work with, live next to, or even marry. I’d love to see what someone like George R.R. Martin would do with the character.
I thought he was much closer to the definition of a sociopath?
The fake strip is what I’ve been hoping for this entire arc. It’s hilarious-makes me want to high five Cayla. The actual strip makes me want to wipe that smug grin off of Les’ face for him.
B6
G4
A9
F7
Ugh… Folks, I’m trying my darnedest to sink this boat.
“And don’t you ever sit passively by and do nothing if our Les ever finds himself In the middle of a raging fire!” — Lisa’s Commandment 41, from Tape 3, Count 126.
Wow, Cayla, you are in deep shit now.
“I thought you were worried I was going to run off with a Hollywood actress!!” -Said the man who has fucked a grand total of TWO women in his 58 years on this Earth…
As an aside, someone needs to tell Batiuk that this lame joke works best when you actually *name* some current real-life sexpot actress… But we know the only one he could think of was Ginger Rogers and that couldn’t work in 2020.
And I know I’m not all that familiar with Hollywood, but do A-list actresses usually run off with nebbish, neurotic, bland schoolteachers from small-town Ohio??
Well, one tried to run off with a British bookshop worker in “Notting Hill” and one tried to run off with Ned Flanders on “The Simpsons.” But, as a rule, no.
Maybe Elizabeth Taylor would have. I’ve never been that interested in celebrity news, but didn’t she once marry a plumber? (Of course, he would still have been a better person in every way than Les.)
Close. If you’re referring to husband #7 Larry Fortensky, he was a construction worker not a plumber. They met in rehab. I had to look it up-I’m no expert on Ms. Taylor’s many marriages.
Damn it, Cayla-get a backbone. Throw some b.s. back at him. I know, I know, folks, but it infuriates me!
Wouldn’t even “no, that didn’t concern me at all” have been great?
“You still think you have a chance with Margaret Hamilton?”
I would have been happy with just a smirk back “yeah, right.”
“No, Les, when I saw you were on a boat I thought Marianne Winters would make you walk the plank! Are you still hating on her?”
“When I saw how bad the fire was I was worried about you! But not enough to try calling you for the past couple of days! Not even once! The thought never crossed my mind! I’m so glad you called me instead, otherwise I would have just kept worrying and doing literally nothing else!”
It must have taken him every ounce of restraint to not draw Marianne smirking along in the background of panel two. Not shock or aghast at the prospect being indirectly implied about her, not exasperated or disgusted with what Les is saying or how he’s saying it in any respect, but smirking. Because it is funny. Hee hee. Smirk.
Yeah. As if Les would cheat on Saint Dead Lisa with anyone.
I’m actually disappointed that with all the insanity that’s happened the past couple of months, Batiuk wasn’t able to squeeze in an appearance by Obi-Wan Lisa…
Look at Les’ expression in the third panel of the real strip. He’s not smirking at his wry joke, he’s intently gauging Cayla’s reaction to his passive-aggressive insult. “Good, she didn’t get all serious when I joked about leaving her. And she said ‘that too’; that means she’s still worried about losing me. This may be a good time to tell her I’ve already invited Marianne to stay at our house to view the Lisa tapes.” This is a master manipulator at work.
Realistically, Marianne would rather stay at a motel with a clown motif and a sign that says “Color TVs! Bedbug free for 2 days!” But, Batiuk.
Thanks to Les she can have the clown motif on the yacht. Which raises an interesting question: does that clown float?
Oh I see – we couldn’t spend anymore time in the Phantom Empire because we, the readers, needed to see this vitally important exchange. I understand now.
God what a hack.
We’re not entirely done with Murania. Jfff has to find that rock which looks like the cave entrance, so he needs to go back. My dream is the “rock” will be a dried, hardened road apple dropped by the Thunder Riders, and he gives it to Les.
What an excellent parody strip, TFH! Nate’s cigarette is a nice touch.
Thanks Ian’s! Your strip parodies are always a hoot as well!