Please Come, We Need Money So Bad

Today’s strip almost comes off like an apology for yesterday’s. I’m sure it’s not, since that would be a surprising amount of self-awareness for him, but following up “women can’t be geeks, and geeks can’t stand women” with “we welcome everyone” is an odd clash. Especially when today’s strip continues the long pattern of women in Batiuk’s strips doing nothing but walking up to their menfolk and asking what they’re doing. Even when the sign is clearly done and it should be obvious to Rachel.

It’s also kind of weird just on its own merit. Yay, Montoni’s doesn’t discriminate. We can all rest easy and be inspired now. I also don’t know why an entire Sunday strip had to be spent on this, when a single panel of the sign would’ve been enough.


Filed under Son of Stuck Funky

44 responses to “Please Come, We Need Money So Bad

  1. Captain Gladys Stoatpamphlet

    * No Crankshafts

  2. So, the new policy is “Everyone is welcome to eat at Montoni’s.” Which seems to be the same as the old policy, “Everyone is welcome to eat at Montoni’s.” This time, they’re going to be way more #woke about it, though.

    Awards season must be heating up.

    • Epicus Doomus

      If I saw that sign at a local pizzeria I would assume that something untoward must have happened there, thus precipitating the need for such a sign.

      • Banana Jr. 6000

        Where I live, a more progressive neighborhood of red state America, a lot of local places have signs like that.

        • Epicus Doomus

          Conversely, here in The Garden State you more or less expect a certain degree of surliness at your local pizzeria of choice.

          “Yeah, Bosstoni’s*”
          “Yeah, gimme a large, half plain half pepperoni. Pick-up.”
          “No, Epicus, dickhead.”
          “Hey, f*ck you. 30 minutes.”

          * Apologies to any real Bosstoni’s, if one exists, which it probably does.

      • Rusty Shackleford

        Yeah, why the need to virtue signal, why not just be a kind welcoming person?

        • Banana Jr. 6000

          As with everything else in his world, Tom Batiuk thinks words speak louder than actions. The Ruby Lith arcs are a perfect example of how his characters say one thing and do something else. He makes a big show out of Ruby’s Lith experiences with sexism in the 1950s, but the men at Atomik Komix they treat her and Mindy just as shabbily.

        • ComicBookHarriet

          Naw see, a welcoming sign like that is actually a subtle form of EXCLUSION, meant to turn away the racists, and bigots.

          • Rusty Shackleford

            Probably works as well as those signs in the inner city that say “ gun free zone” or “ drug free zone”.

  3. Epicus Doomus

    Um yeah, why wouldn’t they be? It’s a pizzeria, not some weird secret society populated by a small incestuous circle of nostalgia addicts, comic book geeks and troubled losers who went to the same high school together. Oh, wait.

    I love how his “messages” are always so broad and simplistic. “Everyone is welcome”…that’s some edgy stuff right there. It’s a nice sentiment and all, but all I see is a pizzeria manager with way too much free time on his hands. And why is it that when Wally re-appears it’s always for weeks and weeks at a time?

  4. Smirks R’Us

    No anti-Lisa worshippers

  5. William Thompson

    Ah, the irony: how can Batiuk be welcome when he has never shown any abilities?

  6. Banana Jr. 6000

    Huh? Where is it that everyone is welcome? I forget the name of the place, it’s only been mentioned in the strip 135 times in the past 7 weeks. 46 in the Adeela arc and 89 during Pizza Box Monster week. I counted.

    • William Thompson

      It’s the place that has a curbside parking spot reserved for veterans. Walleyed put up that sign, too, I think. If he delivered pizzas as aggressively as he delivers cliches, Montoni’s might be turning a profit.

  7. J.J. O'Malley

    *Unless you’re a monster whose head, body, and limbs have been replaced by cardboard pizza boxes. Then we’ll bring in a comic book geek to harass you at gunpoint.

    • Banana Jr. 6000

      It doesn’t really follow from the past two story lines, does it? The behavior of ICE has nothing to do with people being welcome in places. And the stupid pizza monster story was rooted in sexism.

      • ComicBookHarriet

        But, remember, despite their lack of ability, ICE was still welcome at Montoni’s in the end.

  8. TryingTires

    Wonder if the Recovery from the Cult Of Dead Saint Lisa group will be welcomed?

  9. ComicBookHarriet

    All beliefs huh?
    I believe that capitalism and federalism are an affront to God and I’m going to enter demanding that you accept barter as payment. I believe I am a sovereign citizen, so am allowed to openly carry in my crossbow. I am then going to sit in the corner and have a loud conversation with the lamp about how vaccines were a government conspiracy to make chemically brainwash us into accepting the Jewish account of the Holocaust.

    I also believe that pizza is cultural appropriation, and the way that Americans have changed it from its Neapolitan origins is a form of colonialism, and while I’ll eat the slop you make, I’ll let you know, to your face, that you’re a imperialistic scumbag for daring to make my pizza Margahertia with shredded mozzarella from dairy cows, instead of the more traditional fresh buffalo mozzarella sourced from family-owned carbon-neutral farms in Campania.

    I also believe that Funky Winkerbean is badly written.

    Accept it.

    • Epicus Doomus

      “What do you think you’re doing there, stranger?”
      “Oh, I always fold my slices like that. I was born in Flatbush.”
      “Now we don’t want any trouble here, but we don’t serve “your kind” here at Montoni’s.”
      “But the sign out front says…”
      “HERETIC! STONE HIM!!!!”

  10. Gerard Plourde

    I notice that there’s no mention of non discrimination due to national origin. I guess Montoni’s practices that form.

    Also, the Rainbow flag is specifically a symbol of LGBTQ+ rights.

  11. billytheskink

    Does Wally think Montoni’s business is slow (I mean, it’s slow enough for him to paint this sign in the middle of the restaurant during apparent open hours) because some colors, genders, races, beliefs, and abilities don’t feel welcome? I’m sure it has nothing to do with the quality of the food, atmosphere, and service…

    I see Rachel back in a Montoni’s apron. I guess she gave up on getting that art teacher certification. I would too if I couldn’t teach my spouse to paint any better than this.

    • Banana Jr. 6000

      It never occurs to anyone to have Rachel, the art student, make the sign. Apparently that’s man’s work in this bastion of equality.

      • batgirl

        Also, looks like Wally instituted this policy without consulting his staff/wife. Way to be inclusive and respectful, Wal.

  12. sgtsaunders

    All they money green.

  13. bigd1992

    Prestige arc coming. We’ll have someone protest the sign, Les will lead a counter protest of chanting while he holds the St Lisa the cancer chew toy Icon (hallowed be its name). The protester will leave, there will be smirks all around, while Batiuk waits for the awards to roll in.

  14. Don

    Are Son Of Stuck Funky posters welcome? Well, it does say “all beliefs”…

  15. ComicBookHarriet

    Also if all beliefs and abilities are welcome, we can assume that the pizzas served are both halal and kosher, and vegan, and gluten free, and the entire store is free of any potential allergens.

  16. Mr. A

    Haiku of the Day:

    Montoni’s is woke!
    Now you can feel self-righteous
    By eating pizza.

  17. Ted

    I never thought I could despise this comic without Les being involved … silly me.