Is He Live Or Dead, Looks Like A Skunk Died On His Head

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Look, in panels one and three it’s snowing heavily, yet in panel two it isn’t snowing at all! What, are we to believe it’s some sort of intermittent blizzard or something? I mean come on! And why is the lettering different on the two windows? What’s up with that? Was keeping it uniform just too much of a challenge for this Ayers guy? Jeez.

Fat jokes followed by comic books…it’s pretty safe to assume that a pizza and/or marching band arc is on the horizon. I assumed that “one/one” was referring to “Iron Man” #1, but I don’t know, maybe John’s Iron Man dolly is referred to as a “one/one” by comic book dorks or something. Honestly I don’t care enough to look it up. I just wish the f*cking guy would change his shirt already, at this point it’s really more of a costume.

25 Comments

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25 responses to “Is He Live Or Dead, Looks Like A Skunk Died On His Head

  1. William Thompson

    I think the one/one thing refers to scale. Like a model airplane being 1/48 scale; the model is one forty-eighth the size of the real thing. 1/1 would mean one-to-one scale, or life size. I’ve built a lot of models and I’ve never heard the term 1/1, so I’m guessing that Batiuk has decided to bungle things in yet another topic.

    • Gerard Plourde

      There is such a thing and you’re right – it’s referred to as 1:1, not 1/1. Base on a really quick Google search, the price range goes from about $3,000 to $11,000. But that doesn’t answer the question where John has the money for that.

      https://www.life-size-universe.com/iron-man,us,3,56.cfm

      • Charles

        Characters in this comic will always have as little or as much money as the plot requires, and Batiuk never notes the inconsistency. It’s easy to imagine that at some point later this year, especially if Batiuk addresses the coronavirus, Gross John’s store will be short on his rent money to Funky, and yet the money his store spent on this ridiculous thing will never be mentioned. It’s just like Chester having enough money to buy sentimental real estate and props and crap but then he has to sell expensive collectors’ seed catalogs because his company runs out of money.

        Likewise, you have Darin donating presumably expensive original artwork that he was bequeathed even though he’s got a young kid and has had to move his family three times in the span of about four years, with his wife maintaining a second residence for over a year. Batiuk never addresses the practicalities of this when it becomes important. It does nothing other than service the plot immediately at hand.

    • Banana Jr. 6000

      “How much is the full size Iron Man?” fits in the same space.

    • Epicus Doomus

      SoSF readers to the rescue again! So he WAS referring to John’s “dolly”. You learn something new all the time here at SoSF.

    • Banana Jr. 6000

      Could it also mean “1 of 1”? Limited-edition collectibles often have serial numbers of the form “X/Y” where this is item #X of Y total that were made. 1/1 would designate a one-of-a-kind item. Though a standard life-size Iron Man wouldn’t be one of a kind. Then again, this world assigns strange values to things:

      • William Thompson

        That makes as much sense as my scale-model answer, and in the Batiukverse “makes sense” means “we’re probably both wrong.” Batiuk is showing off his mad math and grammar skillz here. The fraction “One over one” equals “one,” so he’s saying “How much is the Iron Man one?” which in turn should reduce to “How much is that?”

        Some day I hope to hear Batiuk have a conversation with a human being. I want to see how long it takes to figure out what he’s saying.

  2. Banana Jr. 6000

    “Eight thousand dollars will buy a lot of comic books”? Not in this town, buddy! In Westview, comic book sales keep businesses afloat, stave off job loss, and pay for weddings and honeymoons. Unremarkable comic book art sells for huge amounts in exhibitions. Comic books are basically Bitcoins in this reality. Oh, and they think everything they own is “gem mint.”

  3. billytheskink

    That’s an Iron Man 1:1? He’s towering over DSH and Mr. Customer (who I’m pretty sure is Jff Murdoch). Admittedly, I’m not an Iron Man devotee, but I don’t recall him measuring up to Shaquille O’Neal in any media that I have seen.

  4. Lord Flatulence

    “And why is the lettering different on the two windows?”
    It’s called writing.

  5. Hitorque

    1. EIGHT THOUSAND FUCKIN’ DOLLARS FOR A TONY STARK MANNEQUIN?? How exactly did such a pricey item come into the hands of Komixxx Korner anyways? Did Comic Book Store guy acquire it at that price, or does he love it so much that he’ll only take a crazy over the top price like $8,000 to part with it?

    2. Last night’s Simpsons episode (centered around Comic Book Guy, naturally) was so puketastic that Batiuk himself could have written it.

    3. Congrats to the Funkyverse’s own Cleveland Browns for finally getting over the playoff hump…

    3a. It would be the most Funkyverse thing ever if the Browns win it all only after superfan Jerome Bushka is dead (remember that guy? Because the rest of Westview sure as hell doesn’t…)

    4. Unless this is like a genuine certified movie prop or Downey’s autographed costume from the Avengers franchise, who in the Funkyverse would even have more money than brains to pay 8000 for it, besides Chester The Molester Hagglemore?? (Edit: Masone Jarre can pop in and buy it too if he really wants)…

    5. Comic Book Store Guy: Smugly tells AARP customer that some cosplay Ironman suit costs $8000…

    Also Comic Book Store Guy: Immediately tells AARP customer that he’s smart to not pay that price after he immediately declines…

    6. GOD DAMNIT BATIUK… Even if the suit was say $400, wouldn’t that still buy a lot of damned comic books? This entire conversation makes zero sense at all from either end…

    6a. Just like how Montoni’s never has any customers period, Komixxx Korner never has any customers younger than 60 with exception of the officially designated high school geek club who only seen to use KK as a place to play Magic the Gathering…

    • Hitorque

      7. I swear I can’t be the only one here who remembers KK being portrayed at one time or another as a standalone store with a ground floor entrance, right?? Did I imagine that?

      • Banana Jr. 6000

        What bothers me about Komix Korner is that it looks like somebody’s apartment.

        Jeff (I guess) and John look like they’re in a living room. The windows aren’t designed for a retail space to put their signage. The floor layout doesn’t match how a comics store would look. It’s common for buildings like the Montoni’s building to be mixed-use, with residences on the second floor. This is all even more apparent in one of the Christmas decorating strips from a couple weeks ago:

        https://safr.kingfeatures.com/api/img.php?e=gif&s=c&file=RnVua3lXaW5rZXJiZWFuLzIwMjAvMTIvRnVua3lfV2lua2VyYmVhbi4yMDIwMTIxOV8xNTM2LmdpZg==

        The style of the front door, and having it directly at the top of the stairs, further suggest a residence as opposed to a business space. The bookshelves aren’t for displaying merchanside.Remove the “Komix Korner” sign and you’d swear this was John’s apartment. Never mind Becky, because there’s no way in hell is that guy is married.

        This is the most unwelcoming store layout I’ve ever seen. Nobody wants to approach a stranger’s apartment to shop for books. Same goes for that old crone and her child-labor attic bookstore in Crankshaft. But the second-floor spare-room bookstore appears to be one of those community institutions that Tom Batiuk thinks should exist in America. Even though Amazon.com has been putting huge bookstores out of business for over 25 years now. It’s ridiculous.

        • I have seen a bookstore made out of what was very obviously once a residential apartment, but the proprietor actually RENOVATED it to be a proper retail space, instead of slapping a cardboard sign on an interior door and moving the couch to the back room like Komix John does.

          I just picture the renter of the apartment on the other end of the hall randomly coming and going throughout the day, bothering John’s customers by trying to use the communal kitchen and laundry room during business hours.

      • billytheskink

        Komix Korner used to be located in the Montoni’s basement. I think it moved upstairs (next to the single apartment unit half the cast has lived in at one time or another) after Lisa closed the law practice she officed up there. I don’t think anything is in the Montoni’s basement space now except the old Space Invaders cabinet and possibly the bodies of Crazy Harry’s children.

    • Rusty Shackleford

      I’d be calling Masone. Hey Mace, have I got a deal for you! And it’s only $10,000…a steal! I’ve got a couple interested people already but I wanted to give you first dibs. Whaddyasay?

  6. Rusty Shackleford

    Man, the laziness continues over on Crankshaft. The old crone is suddenly somewhere for a talk she is giving…no reason why…and of course she is using a slide projector. But ha ha ha, the young kid wants to take pictures of it. Ha ha ha….aw man…kids today.

    • Banana Jr. 6000

      What is Lillian talking about that she even needs slides? She’s a bookstore owner and published author; neither topic lends itself to having to show anything visual. It’s contrivance upon contrivance in this world.

  7. I’m thinking the customer is Batton Thomas, or whatever Batiuk’s stand-in was called.

  8. bayoustu

    Kudos to Epicus Doomus for the Black Sabbath homage.