Shouldn’t He Be in Perfect Shape By Now?

Man, I hope Funky is about to go on all week about the dangers of your personal trainer being hot. Because that’s an uncomfortable and unnecessary story arc Batiuk hasn’t gone to in a while. It’s also kind of hilarious, because every single time Funky is depicted as exercising in this strip he’s miserable, so how exactly is that helping him with stress?
Am I the only one who thinks if you want to keep people from alcohol, forcing them to listen to Funky ramble on and on about his many many woes is the worst thing to do?
Oh, yeah, and there’s bricks in this strip.


Filed under Son of Stuck Funky

26 responses to “Shouldn’t He Be in Perfect Shape By Now?

  1. Epicus Doomus

    See, it might (might) have been interesting and/or humorous (I said might) to approach the pandemic from the other direction and have Funky confess that he actually found himself enjoying the lockdown. No annoying social engagements, no cleaning up after the daily customer, more parking at the mall and so forth. It would have been sort of in character for Funky too.

    But if BatHam is resolute about anything it’s the way he steadfastly refuses to let even a trace of imagination find its way into this thing, so here were are, listening to Funky complaining about exercise, again. The fat sad-sack who hates everything…he’s just Crankshaft without the bus. And a more ponderous spectacle I cannot recall, mainly because this strip is so bad I usually instantly forget a solid 95% of it right after it happens.

    • Rusty Shackleford

      I’m a hermit by nature and so I did enjoy the lockdown. I’m also more productive working from home.

      Now that we can go out again, my wife and I find that we don’t need to, or want to, all that often.

  2. William Thompson

    “Exercise is awful! It can make you healthy, and then what have you got to whine about? And you should see my coach at the gym! I’m telling you, Wanda the Whip can lead you down some dark paths! And what’s worse, if I keep enjoying her abuse, I’ll have to stop or admit I’m not miserable!”

    • Rusty Shackleford

      It would be a lot easier if Funky did something he enjoys for a change. I prefer hiking to exercising in the gym because when I hike I can see beautiful nature, watch the birds, etc.

      The same for running. Why does he do it? It’s not really that great for you, especially as you age as it causes foot and joint problems.

      To quote Curly Howard: Is everybody dumb?

      In this strip, yes.

  3. billytheskink

    What’s with this monologue, Funky? “But I found that exercise held its own set of dangers”… you are talking to people face-to-face, you aren’t narrating a third rate true crime podcast or hosting Mutual of Omaha’s Wild Kingdom.

    • ComicBookHarriet

      Sir. This is an AA meeting. Unless you were drinking on your treadmill, I fail to see how this is pertinent.

    • Hitorque

      “Froooooooom beautiful downtown Westview, it’s the Tonight Show with Funky Winkerbean!! Featuring tonight’s guests Masone Jarre!! Original MTV VeeJay Nina Blackwood!! Ohio State football legend and ESPN analyst Kirk Herbstreit!! Music by Harry “Il Commendatore” Dinkle directing his world famous Miami (of Ohio) Sound Machine…


  4. J.J. O'Malley

    “What kind of dangers?” “Well, one time I was running for my life from a killer robot! Oh, sure, they’re cute in the movies or when they’re vacuuming our living rooms, but now they’re coming from the future to take over our jogging tracks!” “Okaaay…and you’re sure you’ve stayed sober this whole time, Funky?”

    Good thing that wacky pandemic lockdown, so that everyone at the AA meeting can huddle close together without masks.

  5. Banana Jr. 6000

    ANOTHER week of this????.Well, now we know why the Akron chapter of ARID shut down, if this bozo was its group leader.

    I love how confused everybody looks like, “Huh? What? Did I wonder into the Weight Watchers meeting by mistake?”

  6. Mr. A

    Please tell me that on Tuesday Batiuk will at least let us see the gym. Uggh. I don’t know if I can take another week of Funky being miserable at people.

  7. Gerard Plourde

    Another week of this? I do have to admit that I’m curious how TomBa is going to contradict himself this week. Last week we had the stress of a pizza restaurant being unable to have dine in service but more than making up any loss through the increase in home delivery. What will he do with exercise?

  8. The Nelson Puppet

    Dreadful, dreadful…

  9. Hitorque

    Since DJ Funkytimes feat. MC Git Bizzy is clearly doing some kind of half-assed stand-up comedy act, how would the late, great Rodney Dangerfield have put it?


    There! At least now your readers can get a smile and maybe even a gentle laugh out of today. You’re welcome, Mr. Thomas Batiuk…

    • Banana Jr. 6000

      I want to say “this isn’t open mic night at the comedy club”, but Funky’s behavior wouldn’t be tolerated there either.

  10. So it looks like we’re in hour five of the Funky share-a-thon, and every other person in the room is having the same thought – How do I casually make it out the exit without being noticed?

    • Banana Jr. 6000

      I imagine somebody’s sitting there thinking “come on, buddy, wrap it up, my sponsor says I have to speak today if I want to get that DUI off my record.”

  11. Banana Jr. 6000

    Tom Batiuk can’t even respect the rules of an AA meeting. You’re supposed to speak briefly about your struggle against alcoholism, and then sit down and listen to others. Not just ramble on about whatever. He can’t even respect these organizations as he uses their trademarked names (AA, ARID), and uses their entire concept as an excuse to check off the “I talked about COVID” box. And this week he’s not even doing that anymore.

    I get that, for narrative reasons, we don’t really need to hear from anyone outside the main cast. But this whole story just doesn’t ring true.

    Why is Funky even at an AA meeting? We haven’t seen him struggle with it in a couple years. The “pandemic is stressful” stuff doesn’t make sense when the story skipped over the entire pandemic. Funky can’t even TELL us any way he suffered because of it. It sounds like his life is going great. Somebody please send this guy a cease and desist!

    • Sourbelly

      The only stress we’ve been privy to is that a) Funky’s consumption of mass media was less pleasurable and b) Funky had to lower himself to delivering pizzas.

      • Banana Jr. 6000

        Funky had to lower himself to delivering pizzas, because the store was closed and he was the only one there when deliveries got busy.

  12. Smirks 'R Us

    The person I most feel sorry for is @spacemanspiff85. I can’t believe he has to proctor a second week of this dreck.

    • Epicus Doomus

      Seconded. I almost feel like I need to apologize, but then again that could apply to every single weekly arc for the last 14 years…at least.

  13. Professor Fate

    1) Not sure if the artist meant this but the looks on some some of Funky’s audience are those of a trapped animal about to make the decision to gnaw a foot off to escape
    2) late to party re the Sunday strip but that last line about him wearing a mask really threw me – I was like so you are really a well adjusted middle aged man who has made peace with his life, enjoy its pleasures and does the best he can with what he’s got but you are hiding that behind the facade of being a miserable whining sad sack who hates everything about his life ad complains about constantly because otherwise this line doesn’t a lick of sense

    • Rusty Shackleford

      Only Les may be happy and well adjusted, everyone else must be miserable.

      It’s one of Batty’s unwritten rules.

    • Banana Jr. 6000

      I like your thinking, Tom Batiuk’s indifference to continuity makes this joke impossible to pull off. It would be fun if Funky were secretly happy and just pretending to be a wry, smirking, miserable jackass to conform with the local social contract. But we’ve seen him miserable by himself enough times to know that it’s his true self. And as you say, he makes no effort to hide it, so what “mask” is he wearing anyway? It’s another case of Tom Batiuk thinking he’s written a clever joke, and cramming it into the strip even though it makes no sense.

  14. Westview Radiology

    A person sharing in an AA meeting does not stand up and whine for a half hour. If they are a speaker they are there to share their experience strength and hope. His mundane ramblings provoke looks of shock and concern on the meeting goers. Trust me these people have heard a LOT worse shared a a meeting.