CATalogue of Nonsense

Link To Today’s Strip

I’m sorry, WHAT?

In what place in this tiny choir loft was this cat hiding?

The church allows a cat in the choir loft? Thereby excluding anyone with feline allergies from choir participation, if not church attendance?

These ladies force a cat that appears social to live alone in a tiny choir loft, with companionship only a couple hours a week during practice and services?

These dumb ladies never thought to mention their cat to Dinkle, their choir director of weeks, if not months, (if not years, given Sunday’s strip)?

They’re still insisting that the Choir Loft is a perpetual man-free zone only recently invaded, when Dinkle has been their choir director for weeks, if not months, if not longer?

Even if the cat was hiding, Dinkle failed to notice litter boxes, food dishes, cat beds, an omnipresent layer of fine black hair covering every surface?

And, the most important question of all: Mopey Pete and Minty’s middle-aged daughter travelled back in time to before her birth to participate in the all-female church choir in Centerview?

Is this an extended, Back to the Future incident?

Or has she come back to prevent some kind of horrifying future apocalypse?

Does she have to work to ensure her own birth?

Does she have to work to PREVENT her own birth?

Is Minty Pete the CAUSE of the horrifying future apocalypse?

Is this poor middle-aged woman in a weirdly tight striped shirt actually burdened by the deaths of a thousand future innocents, and carefully planning her own temporally displaced suicide for the betterment of future mankind?

Wouldn’t that be a much better story than what we’re getting this week?


Filed under Son of Stuck Funky

21 responses to “CATalogue of Nonsense

  1. William Thompson

    CBH, never underestimate a cat’s ability to hide where she can’t be found. Just envy that power to escape Dinkle.

    And there still isn’t a man in the choir loft.

  2. Epicus Doomus

    The look on that cat’s face is the same look I have when I check Monday’s strip and see it’s another Dinkle arc. Fear and revulsion, followed by hiding under the bed for seven hours until I have to use the box…err, I mean the bathroom. I already feel bad for the poor thing.

    Also note how this entire arc has contained exactly one panel featuring Dinkle performing or conducting music. Anything to avoid telling a coherent story, that’s the secret to FW’s longevity.

  3. Mr. A

    Did Batiuk somehow get wind of Banana’s porn parody? Because the dark-haired glasses lady is definitely coming on to Dinkle in panel 3.

  4. Gerard Plourde

    The cat is definitely going to be on the parade float in Pasadena.

  5. J.J. O'Malley

    Wow. Not since Timmy Turner’s fairy dog Sparky in “The Fairly Oddparents” has there been such a pop culture pet introduction that absolutely no one asked for or cared about. While it might make sense for an old church building to have a cat or two for mousing purposes, what exactly does BIngo (yes, Tom, we get it) bring to the table in the ongoing DInkleberg saga?

    Of course, a better question is…why is Bernie Silverberg saying there hasn’t been a man in the choir loft in decades?

  6. billytheskink

    So who cleans Bingo’s litter box?

    I only ask because I’m sure the answer is much more interesting than anything involving Dinkle.

    • J.J. O'Malley

      No one. She just does her business in the church organ’s pipes, which is why the organist before Lillian actually died from toxoplasmosis.

  7. Sourbelly

    Why does Tombat keep emphasizing that the choir has been all female forever? To the point where he blogs about correcting a grievous error by erasing a male member of the choir?
    Also, am I the only one who can’t keep track of the choir members? They look like a different group of women in each strip. And, of course, none of them have developed any sort of individual personality.

    • Rusty Shackleford

      Yeah, what’s with that? Just another poorly thought out story that Batty thinks is Pulitzer worthy.

  8. William Thompson

    Is this the first time Batiuk has introduced an animal that’s just a pet, and not some utilitarian, plot-serving creature (Buddy the service dog, the Christmas reindeer, Owen the Idiot)?

  9. Hitorque

    When was the last time Batiuk even went to a church service? I’m just asking because none of what’s been said today makes any sense…

    1. No way in hell would a church this large have such a tiny choir filled only with *EIGHT* old ladies… I’ve seen too many rural middle of nowhere small churches in the deep south with maybe 30-40 congregants max that could dredge up at 10-12 person choir…

    2. What is Batiuk’s fetish with the choir loft not ever having any men? Is this so rare in Ohio that it’s the equivalent of a woman showing up to lead the local Freemason lodge?

    3. “No man has been up here in decades!” God damnit lady what the fuck does it even matter unless the cat is decades old? And how the fuck would you know unless you’ve literally been in the choir for decades? I mean for fuck’s sake… It’s a choir loft, not that super secret Greek island where Wonder Woman comes from…

    3a. “No man has been up here in decades!” Not even the pastor? Deacons? A janitor? Some dude to change the light bulbs? Carpenter? Painter? Woodworker? Terminix man? HVAC technician? Just stop already…

    • William Thompson

      All I can figure is that this Roman Catholic church is in fact a disguised Roman temple, dedicated to Vesta and dominated by Vestal virgins. With luck they have secretly maintained the secret fire and will use it to incinerate Dinkle.

      • ComicBookHarriet

        They better not succumb to his virile temptations then, or they risk being buried alive for their crimes.

        Also, they look pretty rough for ladies who are all supposed to be under 35.

  10. sgtsaunders

    I get this feeling Dinkleberry is about to get murdered. Dismembered, even.

    • Gerard Plourde

      The storyline you propose is far too coherent and upbeat for FW.

      • Banana Jr. 6000

        If Batiuk ever did kill Dinkle, he’d just turn up in the strip again with no explanation. And he’d still be able to hear perfectly.

  11. Banana Jr. 6000

    Yesterday’s strip included:
    – A discordant musical note that was recently used in this comic strip to represent death;
    – A cat, which has been previously used in this comic strip as a personification of being unable to do one’s job;
    – Dinkle looking genuinely startled and horrified.

    And today… it’s just a pet. Oh, thank goodness Dinkle wasn’t in any danger for even a nanosecond! An actual story might have occurred! And we can’t have that in Funky Winkerbean. All conflict and danger must be resolved immediately, so the story can get onto the important part of talking endlessly about nothing.

  12. Mr. A

    I assume Batiuk saw the interminable “dogs are good” story arc in Mary Worth and got inspired.