This is what happens when you break your contactor’s balls for taking a lunch break. The reno’s still not complete: there’s lumber and ladders everywhere and the electrical outlets are still exposed. But somehow, Sandwich Guy took the time to gather some colorful, empty tin cans–did he root through Funky’s recycle bin?–and hang them randomly from the ceiling with squiggly string. I mean, this has got to be a prank, right? Or did Funky hire the most cut-rate contractor he could find, one who actually thinks that these are the type of “cans” one would install in a kitchen ceiling?
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Son of Stuck Funky · The web's premiere source for Funky Winkerbean snark
Son of Stuck Funky 
Batiuk should be canned over this one.
Take out that second N from the word and I’m right there with you.
At first glance he completely lost me with this one yet again, then I realized that “cans” must be reno shorthand lingo for “cantilevers”, as what the f*ck else could it be? He obviously overheard his reno guy saying “yeah then we’re gonna put the cans here, here and here” and he thought it’d be VERY funny if…and as usual he was incorrect, again.
I assumed it was reference to can lights, another term for recessed lights set in a round fixture. Given this, I get the punchline, but I’m 110% lost on the set up… and my kitchen has can lights.
Maybe contractors tie cans to the ceiling to indicate where they intend to place can lights? But I don’t know that, who would?
That makes sense too. It’d be helpful if he offered any context whatsoever into which the reader could place these gags, because so far this week it all only makes sense to him and even that’s questionable.
I thought that too, but the cans make no sense even as placeholders. They’re not evenly spaced, like recessed lighting would be. Why would you install two recessed lights above the thermostat? Is this a concession Holly made as part of a “men and the thermostat, amirite” joke? Why is there an outlet at the same height as a lightswitch? Why is the thermostat even higher than that? Are they expecting Shaq to come over? Why do some of the cans still have lids attached? Why do they hang low enough to hurt people walking by? Why is there a wet roll of toilet paper on top of the ladder? Is Funky going to become The Great Cornholio? Why are their heads so enormous?
This is amateur hour. This whole scene is a master class in how not to draw perspective, and how not to tell a joke.
I think the thermostat is actually the lid of a can.
You’re right, it is! Doesn’t it look like an 80s style thermostat though?
https://mobileimages.lowes.com/product/converted/085267/085267263672.jpg?size=mthb
My thermostat is digital, but this is the Funkyverse, so this is the type they’d have. And that’s exactly how Ayers would draw it.
Heh heh, you thed mathter!
We had can lights installed a few years ago and the electrician drew circles in pencil where they would be put in the ceiling. And believe me he had no time for goofy stuff. Get the job right and off to the next one.
Why is Funky’s head so tall this week?
He had a cutting edge cranioreno. He’s now renting out forehead space to advertisers.
Was that after the surgo for the catos?
“I am imagining a world in which this is funny. And, uh, I am failing. Huh, huh, hih-huh-huh, huh-huh-huh.”
–Butt-head.
I’m rolling on the floor…hahahahahahahah…contractors are idiots….those guys know nothing about comic books.
And their knowledge of The Phantom Empire? *spit* They know nothing!
Huh-huh. He said “cans.” Huh-huh. Hmm. Heh-heh-heh.
Hilarity ensues.
No, hilarity sues for damages to its reputation.
Wait ’til Hunky and Folly see what the contractor installs as a “can” in the bathroom reno.
Maybe the guy Funkface abused yesterday has gotten revenge with a “can lighting” visual pun. Or maybe Tombat’s point is that manual laborers are just, like, totally stupid and suck. O! What’s a McMansion owner to do?
Wait. That’s a cat food can. Does Funky have a cat? Or did the contractor pull stuff from the neighbor’s garbage to dangle from the ceiling? If that’s the case, Funky and Holly should be grateful it was nothing worse than some old cans.
I wonder what happened withTomBa’s “Reno” that led him to what appears to be an extended takedown of itches contractors. Yesterday he implied that the worker was lazy and in this installment the contractor is either mean or dumb. And how does he want his audience to react? Are we supposed to sympathize with Funky and Holly or laugh at their misfortune?
“Kitchen contractors”
Word around Westview is that Funky will pay a person $5 to sing into his can.
I got that reference!
I am so confused.
“When they said they were using cans in the kitchen ceiling, I naturally thought that they meant can lighting. I certainly didn’t think they were going to tie old tin cans to pieces of string and dangle them around the room like a modern art installation. This is absolutely insane.”
“Are we going to fire the contractors?”
“No, of course not.”
“Does that mean we’re insane too?”
“Quite possibly.”
Seriously, this scene is so bizarre and unprecedented that I don’t know how to react to it. Monday’s strip seemed to be aiming for a “ha ha, relatable!” tone (whether it hit the mark is a separate discussion), but I can’t think of a single person on Earth who could relate to this. Is their contractor Amelia Bedelia?
Got the reference! …yeah, still fun.
You know what I love? The fact that for literally decades Funkman has been running or employed at the most popular pizza joint in the region (and literally the ONLY pizza joint in his three-stoplight town) and not only has it not gotten him ANY friends in the community (or even frequent customers he’d know by name except for his high school classmates and their relatives), he has IN TOTAL DEFIANCE OF ALL LOGIC made ZERO friends in the local business community… Because here in the non-Funkyverse world, I’m thinking a man with such a successful business would be really popular and well known in the community, even if he was a mopey unfunny asshole counting down the hours to his own funeral…
Seriously, how many times has Montoni’s had something renovated or upgraded or painted or added on in recent years? You’re telling me that instead of getting one of the guys from those jobs (or at the bare minimum at least get a referral from one of the guys from those jobs), the best Funkman can do is some random lazy halfassed contractor he probably picked out of the yellow pages?
This storyline plus Dinkle’s choir, “An Evening at the AlAnon Improv” and “72-year-old man buys Flash comic he’d already read a million times” means Batiuk is completely devoid of ideas… And after this we’ll almost certainly be back to Les going on another signing tour of his 15-year-old book… I never thought I’d say this, but the Funkyverse *really* misses Bull Bushka… If Batiuk felt like he just had to kill him off then fine, but HE CANNOT just have an empty void where cheesy sports-related storylines would be… I’m not from Ohio, but from what I’ve seen of the state, they seem to really enjoy their sports teams out there. I mean honestly — Batiuk would never dream of closing Montoni’s or the Komixxx Korner or the Valentine Theatre or shutting down Westview’s Marching Scapegoats or Lisa’s Legacy Fun Run… There have always been new characters to keep those Funkyverse institutions going… Yet all sports have been dead since Bull retired and they haven’t come back.
The difference between sports and Batiuk’s other dead horse subjects is that he doesn’t actually like sports. I imagine he’s delighted to let them die with Bull.
Not only does Funky run the most successful business in town, he’s also head of the Chamber of Commerce. He should have a lot of friends…but then, he was more popular in high school than Les, so he must be punished.
Chairman of the Chamber of Commerce? Are you shittin’ me? The only other businesses in town are literally Komixxx Korner and that Gym/Workout Center where he meets his personal trainer…
When was the last time this “chamber” actually met? Who are the other officers? How exactly has Funkman served the business interests of the local community? When was the last time he demanded an audience with county or regional political leaders?? For fuck’s sake, when was the last time Funkman EVEN WORE A GODDAMNED SUIT AND TIE? (and no, weddings and funerals don’t count)
Funky controls the Westviewian pizza trade AND holds the lease on the only comic book shop in town. Powerful? Oh yes, yes indeed. He runs that town.
As recently as 10 years or so ago, there were regular contractors at Montoni’s, and Funky seemed to have good relationships with them. One was Jim, the mural painter, and the other was Wade, who was not only Montoni’s handyman, but also Funky’s AA SPONSOR, for cripes’ sake.
Jim and Wade both seemed to have distinct personalities, and not everything in their worlds revolved around Montoni’s. Those two factors ensured they were 86’ed from the strip.
I guess Mopey Whinerbean has, as you say, hitorque, burned every bridge with every workman in town, to the point where they won’t even give him a name of a fellow contractor for fear of being blackballed.
Based on his obvious contempt for the luckless worker daring to eat lunch, I’ll bet he haggles the price down to nearly nothing, then finds a reason not to pay. That’s the only explanation I can think of for a contractor being enraged enough to spend unpaid extra hours installing an elaborate F.U. art project before ditching for a job that actually pays.
With what we’ve seen this past year I’ve come to detest 1) Dinklage 2) Flunky 3) Folly 4) Mopy Pete 5) Durwood 6) Lefty Other assorted blonde- redhead significant others. Yes, I’ll say it …… give me Les. Or resurrect Bull. Oh I forgot … DSH John & Lazy Harry.
Did Adilly design this lighting system as well?
She’s really gotten into the “upcycling” fad. (And she’s still pissed off that Funky missed the Insulated Delivery Bag more than her.)
Yeah whatever happened to Adeela? She still slinging pizzas instead of using her overpriced KSU education?
Fun fact, you can view some of Batty’s art at various locations around the KSU campus.
Slinging pizzas *is* using her Kent State education.