Pumpkin Posh Spice

Link to Today’s Strip

Apologies for the short post tonight. I’m visiting family, and really don’t want to take too much time away from my new baby nephew to write about Cayla and HIM. HIIIIIIIIIIIIM.

I’m just saying, panel three isn’t too clear on what turns into a pumpkin after the party. And I’m hoping it is everyone, everyone and everything around Cayla. I hope that, right after she shuts the door at the close of the night, the car, the valet, the driver, the man next to her, all morph into soggy wet gourd. That Cayla is alone, finally alone, surrounded by a nourishing orange universe. Second to no one. The goddess of all she surveys.

39 Comments

Filed under Son of Stuck Funky

39 responses to “Pumpkin Posh Spice

  1. William Thompson

    Posh? Did they rent that car at Hertz or Avis?

    • billytheskink

      I think they rented it from Vulgaria…

      • J.J. O'Malley

        Upvote for the “Chitty Chitty Bang Bang” reference…although, where Cayla’s spouse is concerned, the first word that springs to my mind is one that thymes with “chitty.”

        • Epicus Doomus

          Thanks for the post title for the upcoming “Les suffers from premature ejaculation” arc. I’ll credit you if and when.

  2. louder

    They have to take Mulholland Drive to get to the theater, and then crash. Please Cayla, let there be a blue key in your purse, to take care of HIIIIIIIIIIIIM.

    • Epicus Doomus

      And then it turns out that Cayla is actually Lisa, who wakes up among the harsh miserable detritus of her dismal failed marriage then shoots Les after being chased and mocked by her imaginary tiny parents.

      • J.J. O'Malley

        Sorry to switch films, but at what point will Funky fall for the Lady in the Radiator (who does bear a striking resemblance to Holly)?

  3. Mr. A

    That new hairstyle Cayla mentioned on Tuesday is nowhere in evidence. Are we meant to understand that he, in his manly wisdom, talked her out of it? Or is the joke that her new hairstyle is indistinguishable from her own hairstyle? Or did Batiuk and Ayers just forget?

    How is it that “they just forgot” is the best option?

  4. J.J. O'Malley

    So, does that also mean that, at midnight, he’ll turn back into a mouse (apologies to Gus and Jaq)?

  5. billytheskink

    Pretty sure the car will still be a Nissan Maxima after the wrap party, Les. Also, you couldn’t be bothered to put on a tie?

    • William Thompson

      With any luck the wrap party will turn into a necktie party when he arrives.

    • Banana Jr. 6000

      Les hasn’t told Cayla yet, but they’re only stopping off at the wrap party. He’s also the guest of honor at the 1990s Douchebag Awards, and he dressed for that. David Spade and Sean William Scott are going to give him a lifetime achievement award.

  6. I for one look forward to Les turning into a pumpkin.

  7. Hitorque

    1. Damn, Les couldn’t be bothered to wear a tie? You can damn sure bet he wears one for his 11th grade composition class… Is no ties one of those west coast SoCal things, or is Batiuk fucking up basic wardrobe logic again? And I swear to Christ if Masone shows up wearing his usual K-Mart issue pastel colored golf shirt and black slacks….

    2. As always, Les’ droll one-liner is ugly, unfunny and uninspired… Does he mean the five star hospitality and accomodations *expire* as soon as the wrap party ends? Will they have to hitchhike to a Red Roof Inn after tonight? Take a Greyhound bus back to Ohio? Is he comparing Kayla to Cinderella? Because I don’t see it… Unless Mr. Moore is making some connection about a poor peasant girl who magically gets transformed into the Belle of the Royal Ball, except Kayla ain’t going to be the star of tonight no matter how you cut it… And why the hell is a grown ass man making Cinderella analogies to a grown ass woman? It’s clear Les never wanted her ass to come and he clearly plans to be as insufferable as possible tonight, as befitting his passive-aggressive nature…

    3. So we still don’t have even a mention so far of Darrin and Summer? Shouldn’t they be feeling pissed off about being ignored?

    • Banana Jr. 6000

      Les and Cayla look they’re going to a premier party for a Happy Madison movie. Have you ever seen this? The women are all dressed very nicely; the men dress like they’re going to a mid-range strip club; and Sandler himself looks like he’s about to mow his lawn. Here’s a good example:

      Put on a tie, you slobs. It’s a formal occasion!

  8. Sourbelly

    Wow, Ayers just doesn’t give a crap anymore. Good for him. Panel 1 is about as low-effort as you can get – just look at the quarter-assed depictions of HIM and Cayla. I’ll give Ayers credit, though. In panel 3, HIM’s expression perfectly matches the level of effort and enthusiasm that Batboy put into the punchline.

  9. Epicus Doomus

    I really detest Les’ stupid “success anxiety”, where he always has to remind himself and everyone else about how much he loathes and distrusts “the business” to demonstrate how sincere and “real” he is. He can’t allow himself or his wife to bask in the excitement he has to actively resist it lest he becomes “one of them”. He’s the ultimate wet blanket…a smug bearded wet blanket.

    • Hitorque

      Classic “Imposter Syndrome”

    • Banana Jr. 6000

      I think this punchline is a lot better:

      Because Les does have a point here. Hollywood is very seductive, and it can turn on you quickly, so “don’t get too used to it” isn’t bad advice. We’ve all heard stories of people who thought their 15 minutes of fame was going to last forever, and it destroyed them. This frames it realistically, that being at this level is going to be a one-time thing in life.

      The real problem in this week’s arc – and Funky Winkerbean in general – is that nothing going on has any basis in anything. There is no actual story. Every strip is just the strip repeating its own lame tropes. No one is reacting to anything that’s going on.

      For example, what about Les and Cayla’s relationship? This whole week should have been tense, because Les only brought Cayla to Hollywood as part of his endless Viking funeral for Lisa. Some martial strain really would have added to the whole story. But it never occurred to Tom Batiuk that Cayla is a human being, and that she might have emotions and needs of her own. Like all the wives in this comic strip, she exists only to be her husband’s surrogate mommy, indulge his worst behavior, and engage in 1950s female stereotypes.

      • Hitorque

        Yeah I get that Hollywood is fickle, but Les hasn’t ever deluded himself into thinking he’s some big-time movie mogul with long-term future career plans out here… Quite the opposite, in fact. We all know Les could be in London accepting his BAFTA award on Saturday and he’ll still be in Westview teaching class on Monday like nothing happened…

  10. BigDickJohnson

    Nice one Les, you can’t even let Cayla enjoy a little fantasy.

    • Epicus Doomus

      He never lets her forget even for a second that she’s only there at all because his first, way better wife died, thus making all this extravagance possible. He can’t indulge her, he can’t comment on how good she looks, he always has to tamp down any hint of enthusiasm or fun that might accidentally seep to the surface. He’s the Delicate Genius who sacrificed his ability to experience happiness for the sake of his craft, the martyr who once knew joy for a fleeting moment before the cold indifferent and grossly unfair universe stripped it all way. I’d like to brain him with a pipe wrench.

  11. be ware of eve hill

    Have fun with your nephew, CBH!

    Well, here we are again analyzing yet another filler strip.

    I don’t understand why Cayla believes having a car pick her up is so posh. Hasn’t she ever been in a rideshare or a taxi? Hasn’t she ever ridden in someone else’s car? As I said yesterday, when Cayla and Les are together in an automobile, she’s always the one behind the wheel.

    Is that supposed to be a limo? Maybe that’s why I’m confused. It’s awfully short for a limo. It’s hard to say. Most of the automobiles Ayers draws look like subcompacts. Maybe it’s a subcompact limousine. The Montoni’s delivery vehicle that Adeela drove last year looked like a circus clown car.

    Batty/Les isn’t using the “Turns into a pumpkin” idiom correctly. The “writer” and “storyteller” whiffs yet again.

    • Rusty Shackleford

      A car service isn’t really that expensive these days. I paid $70 recently for my wife and I to be picked up from the airport and driven to our hotel…about a 45 min drive.

      Apologies to Hitorque in relation to yesterday’s comment: You are correct sir, they are acting like a bunch of Ohio rubes. Never traveled anywhere, yet complain about everything.

      • Banana Jr. 6000

        Las Vegas has these firms where you can rent a crazy high-end car like a Ferrari or Lamborghini. It’s surprisingly affordable. It was a few hundred bucks, but 2 or 3 buddies could easily split it. And hey, you’re in Vegas to spend money on stupid, self-indulgent things, so go for it. I just wonder what the company’s insurance rates are like.

      • be ware of eve hill

        Heard that. One of my friends and her husband hire a limo to take them to the airport on vacations. It’s about the same cost as leaving your vehicle in an airport lot and you don’t have to worry about door dings.

        • Rusty Shackleford

          Or worse, bugging other people to take you to/from the airport!

          I always indulge a bit on vacation. We flew to Florida a few weeks back and I booked first class seats both ways. Since I made the reservations before things were fully open, it was surprisingly affordable. Best money I have spent in a long time!

          • be ware of eve hill

            Oops. I need to remember to refresh the page before a reply. My last reply was out of sequence.

            Seems like you and my limo-riding friend are on the same page. It’s nice to indulge once in a while.

            I don’t mind picking up people from the airport. I enjoy hearing about their trips. Usually, we stop to eat on the way home.

      • be ware of eve hill

        Additional to my prior limo comment.

        She’s a good friend and we do a lot for each other. I told her to save her money. I would gladly take her and her husband to the airport. She laughed, politely said no, and told me I was missing the point. Some people just like riding in style.

  12. The Duck of Death

    I must say, Les does a remarkable impression of a mopey, angsty teenager who’s performatively unimpressed with everything and always has a wet-blanket remark to bring everybody down. It’s quite a trick to live for so many decades and not mature even the slightest bit.

  13. Suicide Squirrel

    After the wrap party, the limo may turn into a pumpkin and the limo driver into a mouse but Les will still be an asshole.

  14. robertodobbs

    It is too bad that no one can ever enjoy anything in this strip.

  15. Gerard Plourde

    TomBa actually shows consistency! Looking back, it’s clear that Les has always been a jerk. He probably relished his hall monitor job when he was in high school.

  16. Professor Fate

    He really is utterly insufferable isn’t he? And this is the Author’s avatar (or at least one of them.) Still part of me would like to think that he is really upset that his wife is there because he won’t be able to try and snort cocaine off of the actress who plays Lisa’s cleavage (while he is wearing the Lisa wig). I don’t always like that part of my head.

  17. Les, Cayla is a grown woman who knows the way the world works. She knows that the limo isn’t actually hers. She knows that every day of her life isn’t going to be pool parties and wet brunches.

    But she does know that it’s okay to enjoy things in the moment. Especially since these things will inevitably pass, like for example when the first round of critics has to sit through the “Once the chemo starts, this playground is closed for repairs” scene.

    At the very least, can you wear a tie?!