Crank On This

I’ve tried to be patient about this, and I warned everyone back in December that I wasn’t going to allow this to happen to SoSF, but I’m just about at my wit’s end with the incessant “Crankshaft” patter. “Dinkshaft” is brilliant, and the parody strips are great, and I don’t even mind the cow posts either, but the long-winded discussions about Ed, Lillian, Pm, Jff and the rest of that sad-sack sorry lot of unfunny elderly goons has to be dialed back a few notches, at the least. Sorry, but I’m not going to continue to grease the gears behind the scenes to provide the world with a platform to discuss that piece of crap. Now, I don’t want to be overly hostile about it, but this is Son Of Stuck Funky, not Crankshaft Korner. Either stay on topic, or I’ll shut the whole thing down. This is the final warning, folks. You’re either with me, or against me. That is all. For now.

Advertisement

76 Comments

Filed under Son of Stuck Funky

76 responses to “Crank On This

  1. ComicBookHarriet

    Look, Epicus. I’ve had about enough of it. I know that people here are angry at people who spout on about ‘don’t like, don’t read’ being a cheap cop out. But seriously! Get the damn stick out of your ass! Crankshaft is literally half of Batiuk’s body of work. You’re like some kind of asshole that goes on a Star Wars forum and only wants to talk about the prequels, and screams and pouts when someone else wants to complain about Rise of Skywalker.

    I’ve tried to keep my mouth shut about it. But your anti-Crankshaft stance is gonna kill what’s left of this blog.

    • Philly Boy Roy

      “Shut up,” he explained. (Fave Ring Lardner quote.)

      Guys, guys, I think Epicus and CBH are pulling the short con, a.k.a., April Fools’!

  2. sorialpromise

    1. I am speaking as someone who rarely stays on topic. Generally I use the day’s strip to talk about however it hits me, and whatever I want to talk about. This week it has been my parents. Other days it was comedy riffing with BWOEH. (I love her, but it is easy for me: I am nicer than her.🤥)
    2. Epicus Doomus, I respect your opinion. I think I understand why Crankshaft angers you. Maybe the main difference is you are 100% opposed to Crankshaft whether it is pre 2023 or post 2022. That is an honest opinion. But you manage a website of people that may agree with you or disagree with you. But they all love you! I sincerely mean that. ♥️

    • be ware of eve hill

      1.) I sometimes worry we’ll both get banned for continually going off-topic, but I enjoy rapping with you too much to stop. This blog is a new experience for me. I’ve had fun in online discussions, but I have never experienced the sense of community like we have here on SoSF before.

      Observation: You probably are “nicer” than me, but one thing is for sure, you’re flakier than I am. Flakier than a Dale Evans biscuit.

      • sorialpromise

        And that’s darn flaky. Excuse the ‘darn.’ But if I used BWOEH language, we’d all be shut down by the F&DA

  3. mrvy

    I really hope this tirade and pushback are a coordinated joke and not a bona fide argument! As a insignificant lurker who reads this blog after nighttime prayers, to decompress after a day of caring for 2 disabled family members, I enjoy the wit and humor of the regular contributors. I appreciate the respect they have for one another. Please don’t devolve to the level of Washington Post commenters – we at the kids’ table beg you!

    A poll asking who is cool with Crankshaft commentary – yes or no – could be interesting, if stuffing the ballot box could be prevented.

    • mrvy

      “an insignificant” 🙄

    • A poll asking who is cool with Crankshaft commentary – yes or no – could be interesting

      If I can figure out a way to set up a WordPress poll, I might do one to let readers decide if Epicus gets to stay on the “staff” here.

      mrvy, thanks for your kind words, on behalf of our regular contributors, glad we can help you decompress 🙂

      • Y. Knott

        I’m voting he stays. Also, that he finally gets that corner office on the 15th floor of the Son Of Stuck Funky building, overlooking the gazebo. I think he’s earned it.

    • ComicBookHarriet

      This is just the most touching comment, mrvy! Last night your concern almost had me breaking character.

      • mrvy

        How sad is it that I thought it might be a joke but wasn’t sure? 🙄 I wasn’t giving any thought to the date. My kind thoughts, I assure you, are sincere. Also sincere: I love the cow posts! Probably because they’re totally foreign to me, since I have always been a suburban girl. Probably because cow management is totally foreign to me, since I’m a girl of the suburbs. SOSF: fun and educational with something for everyone.

  4. First of all, thanks for the compliment on Dinkshaft. Working on those fake strips has been a form of therapy since Funky folded.

    I think you and I have always shared a disdain for Crankshaft. During the concurrent run of the two strips, Crankshaft always seemed the ugly, second-rate stepsister to Funky. Only in the last couple decades of Batiuk’s half-century career (to date) did Westville and Centerview begin to blur and cross over. The resulting continuity mess required Batiuk to summon an otherworldly janitor to mop it up, and not very neatly. Then we got the Jazz Messiah, followed by a week of Byrne-sturbation, a final tombatiuk.com/books plug, and that was it. The end of Funky Winkerbean.…the party was over, and nobody wanted to leave.

    [T]his is Son Of Stuck Funky, not Crankshaft Korner. Either stay on topic, or I’ll shut the whole thing down.

    “Stay on topic”? The topic of this blog for almost 13 years has been the daily comic strip which we have, AS PROMISED, outlived. Are we going to use this space in perpetuity to deconstruct Acts II and III? Epicus, my man. I’ve sung your praises at length about the role you’ve played in keeping SoSF going, but it ain’t yours to shut down. What I’m going to shut down is your WordPress author permissions. Enjoy the view from the peanut gallery and thank you for your service. TFH

  5. Epicus Doomus

    I will happily die on this hill. I will not be bullied away from my own blog by a bunch of closet Crankshaft weirdos, regardless of how fond of them I am. And that’s that.

    • ComicBookHarriet

      Look, Epicus, I don’t even know where you have the gall to call this your own blog any more. Crankshaft is what we have left, so if you can’t deal with people talking about Crankshaft, and you can’t just breeze over commenters, than maybe you better just leave. TFH and I can do this without you.

      • The Duck of Death

        No need! TB announced this morning on the BattyBlog that, starting immediately, Crankshaft will be renamed Komix Korner Kids, and will be picking up the pre-Harley storylines from FW! He mentioned that there might even be a few surprise visits from Crankshaft once in a while. Apparently Andrews McMeel’s editors have become enamored of DSH, Crazy Harry, and the rest of the gang and have asked Batty to weave in some juicy Batton Thomas storylines.

        Great news for all of us, of course — and especially Epicus!

      • Sourbelly

        I’m loving the kayfabe!

        • Thank you Sourbelly for making me look up kayfabe.

          • Banana Jr. 6000

            Pro wrestling has a lot of terminology and concepts that have applications in mainstream life. I’ve recently started using “over” to mean “you have credibility/the audience has bought into your act.” Whether you’re a heel or a face, you need to get over.

          • Epicus Doomus

            Sometimes I use “smart mark” in real life. What’s a smart mark? A mark with a high IQ? Let’s see if anyone gets the reference.

  6. sorialpromise

    I need to check my calendar. What day follows March 31?????

  7. gleeb

    If you don’t like it when Ed Crankshaft shows up in his own komim, you should be thrilled, because he does so less and less since the ‘bean refugees started arriving.
    Happy April.

  8. Rusty Shackleford

    Well I love Crankshaft and you all are fools to not see how great this strip has become with the addition of all those comic books from FW. Who doesn’t want to read about Lillian and Dinkle?

    Happy April 1.

    • be ware of eve hill

      Batiuk could have April Fooled us by actually featuring Ed in today’s Crankshaft strip.

      Batiuk: *snicker* Ha ha! Fooled you. Jff’s never ending story to the Komix Korner continues on Monday. *snicker*

  9. Smirks 'R Us

    I post this comment without looking at the posts above me because, you know, reasons.

    Today’s Crankshaft is beyond creepy. We need to call Child Protective Services on Creepy Harry.

    Anyway, really enjoying the Crankshaft banter. See you tomorrow.

    • The Duck of Death

      We also need to ask why a comics shop would have what appears to be a kindergarten-style arrangement of tables and chairs so kids can sit and … color? Paw through the comix?

      In the olden days, comix store proprietors were famous for saying, “Hey, this ain’t a library!” DSH, ever the innovator, appears to have gone the opposite direction. “Hey, this is a library! Grab a comic and set a spell!”

      • Green Luthor

        Honestly, having the tables and chairs actually does make sense. Comics shops will have tables like that for card games, like Magic: The Gathering or Pokemon or Yu-Gi-Oh! or whatever, and card games have been shown in the Korner before. (Even if Batton Thomas Creator Of The Comic Strip Three O’Clock High doesn’t know what they are.)

        Why they appear to be sized for children of whatever age Mitch is this week is the odd thing, since you’d usually want people older than Mitch to be able to fit there. But the mere presence of the tables themselves is reasonable.

        • The Duck of Death

          Very interesting point. We have a number of gaming places near us with tables for board & card games, and leagues for M:TG and Yu-Gi-Oh!, etc. They sell games, accessories, little figurines, and such, but none of them sell comics. And the places that sell comics don’t have tables. That’s not to say that there aren’t combined comic & game stores elsewhere, so that might easily be what TB is referencing.

          But haven’t we seen all of KK repeatedly? We’ve seen Life Size Iron Man Dolly, we’ve seen the Cosmic Treadmill, but does anyone remember seeing two tables, let alone room for two tables?

          • Green Luthor

            I know the local shop in my area sells both comics and card games, and has tables for playing the games. Don’t know which way is more common, but I can definitely say I’ve seen it before.

            We’ve also seen Magic being played in the Komix Korner before, in the March 20 2022 strip. (We can only tell there’s one table there – unless they’re all sitting on the floor and the art is doing a terrible job conveying that – but there’s nothing to indicate there couldn’t be another table.)

            https://safr.kingfeatures.com/api/img.php?e=gif&s=c&file=RnVua3lXaW5rZXJiZWFuLzIwMjIvMDMvRnVua3lfV2lua2VyYmVhbl9odC4yMDIyMDMyMF8xNTM2LmdpZg==

            (And if the link to the strip doesn’t work, here’s the link to the SoSF entry for it.)

            https://sonofstuckfunky.com/2022/03/19/who-was-that-masked-shmuck/

          • The Duck of Death

            Well, I stand corrected, and it’s actually very nice when what I thought of as an incoherent Batiukism turns out to be coherent and consistent. Score one for the ol’ cartoonist. Thanks for the links, too.

          • Banana Jr. 6000

            Batiuk does get the details right sometimes. I remember that “warp speed, Mr. Sulu” strip being a very good depiction of an opthamology office. Sadly, it was wasted on a stupid bit of jackassery.

          • be ware of eve hill

            Free comic day at the Komix Korner back in 2019 featured four tables. One table for comic book legend Flash Freeman. Another table for Darrin and Mopey Pete. A third table for some schmuck pushing a ten-year-old book titled, ‘Lisa’s Story’. And a wee little table in the corner for the first ever appearance of Batton Thomas. There was also room for Holtron the Computer.

            2019 SoSF entry for the arc.

            April 15-May 5
            Ahead of Free Comic Book Day, Dead Skunk Head John visits Atomik Komix to enlist Darin, Pete, and Holtron for in-store appearances. Also, present are Flash Freeman, Mason, Les, and Tom Batiuk stand-in ”Batton Thomas”.

  10. be ware of eve hill

    Well done, Doctor Doomus. Using your well-documented dislike of Crankshaft to set up the trap was genius. Eeeeeevil!

    My loving husband pranked me three times before I had my Saturday morning tea, so my April Fools detector should have been up. A thought of a prank didn’t cross my mind until I read the first line of @mrvy’s initial comment.

    I really hope this tirade and pushback are a coordinated joke and not a bona fide argument!

    IMO, no website creates April Fools’ jokes as successfully as SoSF.

    Dear husband is out walking our dog. He’s in for a few surprises when he gets back.

    • Rusty Shackleford

      My favorite gag was when they said Batty was suing them and forcing them to shut down this blog.

      • The Duck of Death

        It was barely a gag. That’s what made it work so well, being only a hair’s breadth from reality.

      • Epicus Doomus

        Oh, that was fun. Way back in the day, TFH did one, complete with a fake newspaper article, and EVERYONE bit. It’s all in good fun, and while my intense hatred of Crankshaft is quite real, I don’t really care if everyone wants to discuss it. Your funeral, as they say!

    • sorialpromise

      Okay, Eve:
      You cannot tease us like that. How did Mal prank you? What did you do in return? Inquiring minds want to know. (That was weird. I typed ‘inquiring’ and Siri filled in the rest!)
      That woman of mine, is making me wash dishes, wash clothes, wash floors, wash walls, wash cabinets, and wash me. Can’t I have just a little joy in my life today? I need Be Ware of Eve Hill pranks!
      Signed:
      the TEDDY Bear that Walks like a Man😜😎🤪

      • be ware of eve hill

        His pranks on me.
        1.) He changed the time on my alarm clock. I woke up 15 minutes before I wanted to. Got me.
        2.) He placed bubble wrap under the shower mat in the bathroom. Startled the hell out of me. I was barely awake. Got me.
        3.) He shut off the hot water to the shower. I always check the temperature before getting in. Fail.
        4.) While I was in the shower, he switched some of the drawers on my dresser. Got me.
        5.) He claimed to make the tea, but the teapot was full of instant decaf. I hate instant decaf. I immediately smelled the difference.
        He tried to make the coffee more appealing by adding Baileys Irish Creme. I never knew Baileys clumped in instant coffee. Ick. Fail.

        My pranks on him.
        1.) Before Mal left to walk Rusty, he left his full water bottle unattended on the kitchen countertop. While he was in the bathroom, I placed a small wad of plastic wrap over the opening and screwed the top back on. When he went to take a drink, nothing came out. He admits I got him.
        2.) I took some paper out of the shredder and placed it on the blades of the ceiling fan in his study. When he turned on the fan, the paper was supposed to flutter down. He noticed the paper before he turned on the fan. Fail.
        3.) I placed a small piece of electricians tape over the sensor on the DVR remote. TBD.
        4.) I changed the primary language on our DVR to French.
        He doesn’t know French, I do. Two years of high school French. TBD.
        I planned to do something to his computer (i.e., turn the screen upside down), but the screen was locked. He usually doesn’t bother. Too smart today.

        After the stolen truck debacle a few years ago, our vehicles are off limits for April Fools’ pranks.

        Saturday is laundry day in our household too. Perhaps I should wash his boxers separately and put in too much starch. 😈

        • sorialpromise

          1. I love this. This is the man that I have been actively poking as the bear??? I am outgunned. My hat is off to him.
          I have to up my game. All I do for Mrs. SP, is make her breakfast in bed🤥, buy her jewelry 🤥, and take her to eat on the Plaza. 🤥
          2. I have several ways to read SOSF. On my iPhone I can go through Google. But I also have WordPress App, and now JetPack App. I get notifications on JP. Then I have a Window’s 11 computer where I pull up SOSF on either Explorer or Chrome. (Isn’t this utterly fascinating? Tell us more, Uncle SorialPromise!) I told you all this to say your pumpkin head icons showed up everywhere except on my home computer. It only showed black dots. 🌑 But my pumpkin head showed up perfectly. (Did I mention that I am easily entertained?
          3. When you called Epicus, Doctor Doomus, I roared🤠.

        • Banana Jr. 6000

          5. I’ve fallen for the bar version of that prank. You have someone drink a shot of Bailey’s Irish Cream and a shot of some liquor at the same time, and it turns to chocolate in your mouth. Citric acid makes Bailey’s curdle.

          For maximum effect, convince the person they’ll be a champion drinker if they can pull it off. It helps if they’re 20 and stupid, like I was.

          • be ware of eve hill

            Sorry to be late, Banana Jr. 6000, I missed the notification for your reply.

            Waste not, want not. Mr. bwoeh drink/ate the instant coffee Irish creme concoction.

            To be honest, it wasn’t Bailey’s, it was Carolans. Bailey’s Irish Creme has shot up in price in our region. We used to be able to buy a 750 ml bottle for $19.99 and get a rebate for $5 or $6. A 750 ml bottle is now $24 with no rebate available. A little too rich for us. We’ll spend $4 more for Jameson Irish Whiskey which is real booze.

            I’ve made homemade Kahlua before. Perhaps I can try my hand at homemade Irish Creme. There are recipes online.

            Salud

      • be ware of eve hill

        be ware of eve hill
        Your comment is awaiting moderation.
        April 1, 2023 at 2:29 pm

        Ha ha. You can’t fool me. It’s just another April Fools’ prank.

        • sorialpromise

          I am sure your comment was lucid, erudite, and full of complexity.
          ♥️💖❤️🫂🌺💐🌹

          • be ware of eve hill

            I’ll write a book.

            How Sorial Promise Goaded Me into Getting Banned: A Sordid Tale of Treachery and Deception

            😭😢😟😞🙍‍♀️🙎‍♀️😡☹😖🤬😱🧨😡☠💀😈👿👅🤺🤼‍♂️🤼‍♀️🧟‍♀️🙅‍♀️🤦‍♀️👎🥊🔫🏹🗡⚔🔪🔨🪓🏏🚧🏴🏴‍☠️⛈🌧🌩🌪⚡🔥🔇🚭☢☣⚠🚸⚫🔴🟡

          • sorialpromise

            It would be nice to see my name published. However, I do resent the pumpkin head allegation. That was taken to court, and I won in a New Mexico court on appeal. 🤥
            We are still waiting for prank descriptions on you and by you.
            This could be a future Eve avatar:🤬

          • sorialpromise

            Eve,
            We have the first line of your book: “It was a dark and stormy night.”
            Then somewhere include: “The kind, thoughtful, and beloved SorialPromise was met unprovoked in a dark alley in New Mexico by the much taller, profane Eve Hill.”

          • be ware of eve hill

            Pumpkin head? Which emoji was that?

            Psst. CBH called ED an a$$h*le. 😱

            I use grawlixes and other strategically placed substitutions. CBH just hit Epicus with a full broadside. I just handed
            my foul mouth crown to her.

          • sorialpromise

            1. Pumpkin head 🎃
            2. Wow! She did, didn’t she? 😱 The passing of the baton.

  11. Paul Jones

    The worst of it is that despite Crankshaft starting out as being a sort of flypaper for characters not good enough to appear in Winkerbean, it’s clearly the one he really loved.

  12. Gerard Plourde

    Happy April Fool’s Day to all!

    One of the advantages of having been delayed in getting to this site today is that my angst about the possibility of a squabble killing this blog was assuaged by reading the through the comments.

    Keep up the great work.

  13. Y. Knott

    Today on the BattyBlog, Tom Batiuk details The Thing That Would Make Him Stop Writing.

    Do any of us know anyone in the paper distribution business? We wouldn’t have to cut off the world’s supply of yellow legal pads — just central Ohio’s.

    • Gerard Plourde

      The accompanying illustration is informative of his work method, though. It’s a set of very detailed illustrations of the equipment including details about the identification patch about medication and dosage. Also what the room is like and comments by others. Nothing about what would be going through Lisa’s mind. It leads me to think that he takes so much time on the visual that the writing process suffers as a necessity.

      • The Duck of Death

        As always, he describes himself as the Artiste taken by surprise by an unexpected visit of the Muse — presumably the muse of tragedy, Melpomene. [blockquote]So, waiting for the writing stars to align before I began work on it seemed to be the sensible thing to do. Or, at least, that’s what I kept telling myself. Like most good stories, it waited until I wasn’t looking to sneak in.[blockquote]

        What strikes me apart from the absence of the human factor, already noted by Gerald Plourde, is that he doesn’t give any context of how, where, or when he took these notes. I would have expected some kind of acknowledgement — “Dr Joe Blow of the Medina Oncology Clinic kindly allowed me to tour the facility and speak to the oncology nurses” — something like that, since these notes and sketches appear to be based on a live visit.

        Whoever helped him gather info on cancer treatment, I can’t help but wonder how they felt when they saw the strips in which a representative of their profession was shown screwing up so badly that it killed the strip’s heroine. As I recall, Lisa’s doctors barely apologized and made no attempt at restitution.

        “You can’t trust doctors to be the least bit competent or caring. Might as well just give in and die!” Great reflection on oncology and its patients, Puffy.

        • be ware of eve hill

          I’ve always wondered how the physicians and other healthcare professionals who helped Batiuk’s beat prostate cancer felt about the Lisa chart mix-up.

          Major league dick move.

    • Green Luthor

      And, of course, we get more of Batiuk’s self-serving version of history. “A story arc dealing with someone dying of cancer that stretched out over two years was going to push hard against the proscriptions of the comic strip and the expectations of its readers. The work itself had a thousand precursors but, in a newspaper comic strip, no precedent.”

      Okay, maybe that’s *technically* true, but… c’mon. Garry Trudeau had done a long arc about Andy Lippincott dying of AIDS in 1990. Yeah, it wasn’t cancer, and, yeah, that took less than two years. It was also a FAR more controversial subject to tackle, and didn’t involve gross medical malpractice. (About the only point in Batiuk’s favor is that Lisa was a more major character than Andy, but it’s not like Andy was invented just for that story or anything.)

      Batiuk once again patting himself on the back for doing something Trudeau had already done. (I’m not even a huge Doonesbury fan – I couldn’t even tell you the last time I read it – but Batiuk pretending he’s some kind of trailblazing risk-taker as if Trudeau doesn’t exist is really disingenuous.)

      • Banana Jr. 6000

        I was struck by the part where Batiuk says he planned for Lisa’s death to be a two-year story. This from the guy who claims to live by the rule “no stories should be longer than three weeks.”

        And he accomplished this by having Lisa refuse treatment for advanced Stage 4 cancer, a situation that should have killed her very quickly. Didn’t even put her in hospice or even on pain meds; just dumped her in the upstairs bed with only the incompetent, duplicitous Les to tend to her.

        As Gerald Ploude says above, Batiuk is proud of the trivia he gets right, while he ignores storytelling mistakes that would get him an F in a middle school creative writing assignment.

        Batiuk is an apolitical example of “truthiness.” Batiuk loves to imagine he’s a Very Important Writer, Lisa’s Story changed newspaper comics for all history, and the world is eager for every morsel it can get about it. And this belief makes him feel good, so he ignores everything to the contrary, carefully controls every situation he’s in, and ignores inconvenient realities like the empty seats at his “fan events.”

      • Batiuk is always blowing his own horn as hard as he can, but no sound ever comes out.

  14. TimP

    We have so much fun here.

  15. be ware of eve hill

    be ware of eve hill
    Your comment is awaiting moderation.
    April 1, 2023 at 2:29 pm

    Where’s my lawyer?

    Seriously, gentlemen. While it may seem to be a decent April Fools’ joke to pull the wool over your eyes and make you look, my comment is for some unknown reason still awaiting moderation.

    Thanks in advance. 🤟

    OTOH, If you don’t want to subject your readers to the April Fools’ Day shenanigans of Mr. and Mrs. bwoeh, I completely understand.

    • ComicBookHarriet

      This is why we had to kick Epicus off the blog! I don’t have power to confirm the comments on posts I didn’t write, and Epicus is just completely checked out. Not even paying attention.

      All I can do is see that beautiful comment in moderation, read it myself, and snigger.

      • Epicus Doomus

        Hey, why don’t YOU sweat over a hot spam filter twice a day, deleting dozens of ads for Cialis and CBD vapes, and tell me how YOU like it! Yeah, that’s right, I said it! So there!

        • The Duck of Death

          That brings me to a question: Is there any way to put registered regulars into a “these are never spam” filter? My posts still get hung up pretty regularly. Apparently others are experiencing this too. I have no idea what WP moderation tools are like, but I know innocent posts from regular commenters get caught up in the spam filter all too often. That thing must have a real dirty mind.

          • Hey DoD, I’ll take a look in the WordPress dashboard and see if I can un-spam you. I do know that WP flags comments that have more than a few links. Maybe I can fine-tune the filters. Thanks for reading and commenting!

          • Epicus Doomus

            Yeah, it’s been doing that sometimes, just out of nowhere for no reason. Occasionally, posts with a lot of links get held as spam, but sometimes there’s no real logic to it at all, and it just does its own thing.

          • The Duck of Death

            Thanks very much, TFH.

            And has anyone noticed that Leroy, the Mop-Wielding Chute-Unclogger is a sort of analogue of Harley, the Mop-Wielding Time-Tangle Unclogger?

            Hmm.

  16. The Duck of Death

    Sunday’s Crankshaft took me by surprise with its lack of hateability. And I didn’t expect it to continue, and actually advance, the action of the previous week. Summary: Mitch has drawn some kind of … guy in a trench coat, with sunglasses and a Covid mask? I dunno. But he gives it to DSH, who puts it on the wall as the “cover of the week.” I virtually never say this about TB’s work, but this strip was kind of endearing.

    What’s interesting is that the drawing is not of a superhero, and is clearly a real child’s drawing. I wonder who drew it? Doesn’t look like something young Tom would have drawn, based on the early work he’s put in his blog. Does he have a grandchild?

    https://www.gocomics.com/crankshaft/2023/04/02

    • Rusty Shackleford

      Yeah, but now we have Sunday comic book covers in Crankshaft. I didn’t think he would take it this far.

      Mitch sure grew up quickly.

      • The Duck of Death

        I know it. They grow up so fast, don’t they? (*sigh!*)

        And then they shrink back down just as fast.

        Only to shoot back up in age and size soon thereafter.

        Kids, I tell ya! (*sigh!*)

    • I think it would have to be one of his own drawings, because why wouldn’t he give credit? I mean, sure, he didn’t give credit to Chuck Ayers for almost 30 years, but….

      I mean, if it was a grandchild the name would be right there under “A tip of the Fakey felt-tip.”

      • The Duck of Death

        What if — BIG if, YUGE if — he did have a grandchild and the grandchild was named Mitch?

        I doubt that’s the case, though. But maybe (LARGE maybe) this is an inside job, a wink, a tip o’ the Funky Felt-Tip without a credit, because the artist will recognize his or her own work?

        I dunno. I got nothing. Just like with so many other unexplained Winker-happenings. I got nothing.

    • be ware of eve hill

      Odd how Tom Batiuk can’t seem to keep the ages of the young boys consistent. Quite a few readers confuse Mitch with Skyler and vice versa. Is TB confusing Skyler and Mitch himself?

      Skyler Fairgood: Born in Funky Winkerbean November 22, 2013.
      Mitch Murdoch: Born in Crankshaft February 27, 2020.

      In December 2021, eight-year-old Skyler visited the Komix Korner, escorted by the hands of Mopey Pete and Mindy. Skyler is portrayed as a toddler, speaking in one and two-word sentences. In his winter clothing, Skyler is almost as wide as he is tall. He confuses Crazy Harry for Santa.

      Skyler’s first appearance in 2022 was the Gun-into-Toy arc. He appears small for a child approaching his ninth birthday.

      During the Jazz Messiah story arc, Skyler appears small, and Jessica holds his hand. What nine-year-old boy wants their hand held by their mommy? Mitch looks like a toddler and is in the arms of Hannah. Bonus: Rachel’s son Robbie(?) should be a teenager but resembles a young grade-schooler heightwise. Or was that Wally Jr.? Either way, somebody was playing hooky. If that was Wally Jr., he hasn’t aged a day since the ‘Meet the Cast’ artwork created in 2013.

      This week, Mitch, who just turned three at the beginning of March, is speaking in complete sentences and has the motor skills necessary to help Jff move boxes and draw a picture that looks like it was drawn by a much older child.

      My son, when he turned three, was just starting to achieve motor coordination and was asking a hell of a lot of questions. (What’s this? What’s that? Why?) He was using crayons in coloring books. He sure wasn’t producing anything like Mitch’s drawing.

      I hope Batiuk can keep his own son’s age straight.
      Tom Batiuk: Happy twentieth birthday, son.
      Brian Batiuk: I’m 42, dad.