I’ve been thoroughly enjoying all of you commenting on the shambling abomination that is Crankenstein’s Monster. It’s horror beyond imagination in the funny papers these days as Batiuk once again drags Lisa’s battered and abused corpse out to puppet around and demands Davis stitch it onto the recycled art patchwork of long dead gags that makes up modern day Crankshaft. Lisa Moore’s been more abused post mortem than poor Elmer McCurdy.
But at least when Les Moore does his dramatic dance of interpretive grief all over her grave, we know that Lisa is well and truly dead.
Slipping back to Spring 2008. Act III is still less than a year old, and Batiuk is still gradually reintroducing us to Aged-Up Act II characters. And I’m not even criticizing that choice. Letting a few plot balls start rolling, while sprinkling the introductions out intead of dumping 30 characters worth of ‘where are they now?’ into one month is the smarter way to do things.
Mopey Pete moving back to Westview, and moving into the Montoni’s apartment, provides the lead in to reintroduce all his old high school buddies.
So welcome back Darin Fairgood and Mooch Myers! And in exciting news Mooch Myers has very briefly become Asian!
Funny story, the reason this post is late and short is because I was actually roped into helping a friend move. She thought her tiny studio apartment would be easy to haul out in a couple hours after work with just a couple pals.
She was very very wrong.
And when the ‘muscle’ of your crew is my 5-foot-flat ass, you’re in for sweaty-dwarf hammy-strain time.
So scraping together a few snide jokes about moving furniture, while my tired muscles slowly sieze up and I collapse into my bed is pretty cathartic.
For example. My friend had a dresser, and it looked cheap and small enough I thought I could move it as one piece.
I nearly threw my back out before my friend told me she hadn’t bothered to empty the drawers.
How I hate it when my life is just like Funky Winkerbean.
I joked before about John being in this weird intergenerational place. The ‘Meet The Cast’ sheets Byrne produced around the Time Skip establish DSH as 38.
The Funky/Crazy/Les generation is all listed as 46, and the Darin/Pete/Mooch class is 28. The Wally/Becky/Susan/Sadie cohort is 33, but apart from Becky, Batiuk lost interest in everyone else. There’s no comic weirdos in that bracket to geek out with. (Because Batty totally forgot that Wally used to be a comic weirdo who worked at Komix Korner. And for that, I am grateful.) So no matter which crew he’s hanging with DSH is the odd man out. And in this crew of moving buddies, he’s the old man out.
Poor DSH, in a world of limp wristed soyboys he is truely the softest lump of tofu in the lot.
For someone wanting to live long enough to watch Wally’s children fail, DSH sure is eager to suck down the pizzas and beers at Montoni’s. And we get to hear about Mooch’s past. Though really, if he’s good enough of a friend to be asked to help Pete move, why wouldn’t they know he broke up with Mindy years ago?
So at about 8:30 P.M. with the moving van about 70% packed, my friend announced that she needed to eat. She needed to rest. She neeed to drink. And I knew that if I stopped moving for one second my engine would sputter out and die.
So we sat on her stairs and wolfed down lukewarm chicken nuggets for ten minutes. The room full of that awful tension where everyone is friends, yet everyone is miserable. And someone would say something to try and lighten the mood, just to reassure the group that they’re NOT about to burst into tears. But then we let it devolve into silence again, because we’re all on that desperate edge just this side of madness, where forcing a conversation could have possibly ended with a roll a packing tape shoved where the sun don’t shine.
Somehow Pete manages to bribe his friends into one last haul. Of course, he bribes them with the most desirable currency in the Funkyverse.
Okay! Everyone say goodbye to Mooch Myers! ‘Cuz unless there’s some kind of cameo in a crowdshot I’m missing. This is curtains for him.
And curtains for me too tonight. I’m going to crawl into a bathtub full of epsom salts. And if I have enough energy I may even remember to run the water.
Son of Stuck Funky 
I blame Time Mop. It’s because of him that characters age before their time.
Also, it’s about this time that Batiuk does the “Oceania has always been at war with Eurasia” thing with Pete’s last name. He’d forgotten it and gets prickly about having to be reminded of his doing so.
Who, you mean Pete Reinhold?
Thank you, ComicBookHarriet.
1. I read the Wiki on Elmer. “McCurdy was killed by a single gunshot wound to the chest which he sustained while lying down.”
I am trying to picture this postmortem. It is either:
——Elmer was laying on top of the hay perpendicular to the sheriffs and got shot. Possible. Elmer’s hungover and not too bright to begin with.
——or Elmer has passed out in the shed, and the sheriffs come stand over him and shoot him.
I liked how the Wiki goes into all of the detail of the forensics to determine his identity. Yet it is solved because Elmer has a literal ticket in his mouth from a previous owner 60 years earlier.
2. I know little of FW’s time frame, but isn’t Mopey the greatest comic book writer of all time at this moment? He can’t afford to hire movers? He lives above Montoni’s? All of his comics are stored in a one room tiny apartment?
3. CBH, due to our special bond of SOSF, will you help me move?
What an interesting story that was! DC Comics’ western character Jonah Hex was originally destined to a similar fate, so i guess this was the inspiration that writer Michael Fleisher had drawn upon (well, before various revisions to the timeline). Learn something new everyday!
Regarding 3, of course my dear SP! But you gotta pay the cost of shipping my tiny little muscles across state lines. And I don’t move pianos. Not since the last time.
CBH, your quote: “But you gotta pay the cost of shipping my tiny little muscles across state lines.” I do not think I can afford you. 🤩
You’re lucky I don’t need to move! I’m outside Iowa, but less than 5 miles west of I-29.
What a moving story, CBH.
Seriously, the only thing more disheartening than a miserable, near-impossible task is realizing that you’re in a FW strip come to life.
On the bright side, it shows that at least once upon a time, TB knew how to tell slice-of-life stories that rang true.
And also, you weren’t fed pizza.
And speaking of the Winkershaftiverse: Today, in another series of word zeppelins with static cut & paste characters, we get a bonus superfluous “So.” Yay! It’s been, what, a week?
We learn that the Valentine will next show “the King Kong and Godzilla movies” as part of their — hold on to your hats — part of their — oh, god, I’m shaking so hard with laughter I can hardly type — brb
WHEW~! Okay, I had a glass of water, splashed my face, thought about sad stuff for 10 minutes. I’ve finally quelled the guffaws. These two films, according to Blondie, are part of their DOUBLE CREATURE SERIES! Get it? Oh Lord, here come the belly laughs again!
They’re still just showing the movies they want to show, aren’t they? They didn’t a learn a thing from failing the first time, and lord knows Mason Jarre isn’t going to help, because he’s there to tell you how you’re supposed to watch their movies. Their business model is “everyone should like the same movies I like, the same way I like them. And I write this world, so they do.”
I think the business model now is, “Masone is willing to run this place at a loss and bankrupt himself because of his under treated bipolar disorder.”
I suppose we should give TB credit for finally following up on that one strip from 8 years ago.
So, uh, kudos?
Why would anyone want to see “King Kong” after Owen delivered his death punch to the film?
Or maybe the whole point of the Valentine is that the audience continually mocks what’s on screen, kind of like MST3K without the jokes or the cleverness. If that’s the case, I’m buying a ticket in the front row for “Lisa’s Story.”
There’s a real-life version of this: an MST3K-style screening of “Love Story” is part of the freshman orientation at Harvard University.
Anyone out there in the SoSFverse want to do an over/under on how many local UHF stations used the phrase “Creature Feature” or “Creature Double Feature” to describe their Saturday/Sunday airings of old monster movies (Philly had one station do it opposite the always-popular Dr. Shock-hosted “Scream-In” and “Mad Theater)? Batiuk thinks he’s mining comedy gold when he’s merely going over an old vein tapped out by Ghoulardi, The Ghoul, Big Chuck and Little John, and other Ohio hosts probably entombed in Mitchell Knox’s basement.
Also, anyone want to bet that the Valentine crew are probably planning to screen the 1976 “Kong” with Jessica Lange and the 1998 “Godzilla” starring Matthew Broderick?
Meanwhile, the person this strip is named for has spent the last six days off-panel, guzzling “buttery-flavored popcorn topping” straight out of the dispenser behind the concessions counter.
The Wikipedia entry counts about 15.
Curious to know if Batiuk thinks he’s reinventing the wheel with this business model.
Batiuk’s own Akron Ohio has two old one screen theatres. The Highland Square Theatre and the Linda Theatre. I was pleased to discover they are both still open and operated as sister theatres. They both seat hundreds and have undergone renovation.
Unlike the Valentine, these theatres show first run movies. Both theatres are currently showing ‘Indiana Jones and the Dial of Destiny’. Admission is $5 per person at all times! Doesn’t that seem like a much better business plan than what Masone is boasting about?
During the 1970s and 1980s, my family and friends often visited the Linda Theatre because it was conveniently located near our home. They played second-run movies for only $2, making it a popular spot. The business housed next door in the same structure was a newsstand that sold various items like newspapers, magazines, paperbacks, greeting cards, and COMIC BOOKS. They had two or three spinner racks. My brothers would usually buy several comic books before the show.
It’s a Batiuk wet dream. Old one screen movie theaters AND comic books.
Wow, I didn’t know The Linda was still open. Batty surely has been there. The Akron Civic Theater occasionally shows movies. I used to go to their 3 Stooges festival. They had a great Curly impersonater and I got to meet Larry’s sister. The also had a night where they show old cartoon shorts.
Unlike The Valentine, their programming was varied in an attempt to reach a wider audience.
I have fond memories of going to the Civic Theatre as a child, where I saw ballet and puppet shows. As a teenager, I also enjoyed attending “The Haunted Opera House” event during Halloween. Recently, I shared my experiences at the Akron Civic Theatre with another reader on GoComics Crankshaft.
I remember the last movie I watched at the Linda theater. It was in 2004 when my husband and I visited my Mom, Dad, and brother in town. We watched ‘Van Helsing’ during the same year my parents decided to sell their house of 35+ years.
If there was any doubt that Akron was the Rubber City, the name of the church that shares the parking lot removes all doubt. The church is located just off GOODYEAR BOULEVARD in GOODYEAR HEIGHTS. It is named the Wingfoot Church. “Wingfoot”, of course, is the Goodyear logo. Perhaps they believed naming it the ‘Goodyear Church’ was a bit too much.
Was the opening act for the puppet show Spinal Tap?
@beckoningchasm
LOL. Can you imagine Spinal Tap performing for a bunch of second graders?
I spent several hours yesterday on Google Earth and Maps, observing how much has changed since I last lived in Ohio (1988). So much has changed, it’s not even funny.
So much has changed, it’s not even funny would also have been a good title for the last half of Funky Winkerbean‘s tenure.
Check out Historical Aerials, they have maps and aerial views going back to the 1930’s.
@billytheskink
Or the famous Monty Python quote from Eric Idle.
Aw, You’re No Fun Anymore.”
@Rusty Shackleford
Thanks, Rusty! Google Earth has a time function, but it doesn’t go back that far. Most fascinating, seeing the image of my birth parents’ home back in 1962, a couple of years before the fire.
Another howler from the Battyblog:
DC Comics clueless attempts to create comics in what they perceive to be the “Marvel style” continues with one more added element to last issue’s plotpourri.
Does Batiuk not know the T in “potpourri” is silent? How could he not know this, considering it’s a common category name in Jeopardy? It’s the most middlebrow TV show on earth, and it was hosted for 40 years by Alex Trebek, a man known for his impeccable pronunciation of everything in every known language. And Batiuk makes this mistake while calling DC Comics “clueless.”
He also seems to like using the phrase “dangling ploticiples”, because of course he does.
Also, he’s talking about a comic from 1982. DC emulating the “Marvel style” wasn’t even remotely new at the time. And one of their best-selling books at the time was the Wolfman/Perez New Teen Titans, a book whose sales were comparable to Marvel’s X-Men (so much so that the two companies did a crossover comic between the two teams, which they previously had done for Superman/Spider-Man and Batman/Hulk) and which was the most “Marvel style” book DC had. Their “clueless attempts” sure seemed to be working pretty well, quite frankly.
(I also have to note that Batiuk is complaining about multi-issue stories in The Flash. He’s up to issue #315, which means “The Trial of the Flash” will be coming up soon. I might have to sign up for the updates, because that’s gonna be a doozy…)
I wonder what TB thinks of the recently released Flash movie? I don’t recall him ever commenting on any of the superhero movies, not even the 1978 Superman movie. Wouldn’t you think he’d be bursting with opinions?
He’s probably still searching for a single screen theater that is showing it…
BJ6000,
I broke a cardinal rule just for you. I read a Batty Blog. You did not pick the bones clean on that blog. “check out the previous post for the full list of all of the dangling ploticiples) without really moving any of the stories forward.” In fairness, TB is the expert in not moving a story forward.
He has an other bad habit. BJ6000 quoted his insult towards the Marvel Method. TB gives no bad examples or reasons. Stan Lee, Jack Kirby, Steve Ditko have been doing it since 1961. This Flash story must be 1982, I am guessing. A lot of great stories in that period of time. I bet that even TB and Byrne did some version of it. Then there is this: I can’t tell how any artist and writer collaborated in any DC or Marvel story. How can TB? (One last Battyism: ink slinging! An expression never heard anywhere.)
One last thing on a positive note. The Flash is quite visually appealing. The character is just the perfect hero for the comics medium.
“Inkslinger” does have a history, SP!
Specifically, with Paul Bunyan, who was okay and a lumberjack well before the Pythons came along:
Johnny Inkslinger was Paul’s headquarters clerk. He invented bookkeeping about the time Paul invented logging. He was something of a genius and perfected his own office appliances to increase efficiency. His fountain pen was made by running a hose from a barrel of ink.
Babe the Blue Ox was no Scapegoat!
Anonymous Sparrow,
1. Oh, how I have missed you! If I could, I would give you 15 likes on JetPack.
2. So, ink slinger is an actual thing? I am truly shocked. I yield to your greater knowledge.
3. I hope you enjoyed the strangeness of Elmer’s story as much as I. I realize it is Wikipedia, but too many parts were hinky. His death, his mouth ticket, his honorable discharge, his access to nitroglycerin, and his poor experience using it, makes me question its reliability.
4. What are your favorite comic book segments from film? I will list 3 of mine:
—-Superman saving the airplane and shuttle from “Superman Returns” is my all time favorite scene.
—-Thor and Hulk fight from the 2012 Avengers sent goosebumps down my back. Then it had a nice chaser later, when both were on that dragon transport and Hulk sucker punches Thor.
—-In the Justice league, I really liked the under the river battle in that gigantic room. Everyone of the heroes were well written.
5. I hope your Sunday is especially blessed with family, my friend!
SP:
Thank you for your kind wishes. Alas, like Bob Cratchit on a particular Christmas, I fear I was making a little too merry on Sunday and couldn’t respond to your message until Monday. (Blame it on an American Werewolf and Brigitte Bardot.)
The Elmer McCurdy piece was extremely interesting, but I can’t deny that the real selling point was the connection with Jonah Woodson Hex. (Credit that not to Michael Fleisher, who basically defined the character, but to Joe R. Lansdale, whose Vertigo miniseries I loved, even if Hex shouldn’t have been at Gettysburg.)
As for comic-book movies…well, you might not believe this, but I haven’t seen one in some twenty years, since “X2: X-Men United.” I was too much of a comics fan and a historian to get into them (while recognizing that the changes in the source material meant a wider audience: when people told Al Jaffee that *MAD* might have become even greater if Harvey Kurtzman had never left, Jaffee said that it also might have become something only five people could appreciate) and thought I’d better stick to my memories and to new issues, rather than see something in cinematic which offended my sensibilities.
I had a recent proof of it when a friend gave me his thoughts on the new “Guardians of the Galaxy” movie, and I gave him the comics version of the High Evolutionary and Adam Warlock (introduced as “Him” in *Fantastic Four* #67).
What you did inspire me to do, SP, was look for moments dear to me in my reading which might have made it to the screen: I checked out Rorschach’s “you are a good friend” moment with Nite Owl in “Watchmen” and the Executioner’s “Last Stand” in “Ragnarok.” The eight seconds of the former weren’t as rich as the original panels, and missing in the latter — or at least what I saw of it — was a sense of who this guy was and why he was fighting as he was. (One of many reasons for Walt Simonson’s sequence’s greatness: in their last scene together, Amora, the Enchantress, in a fit of pique, turns the Executioner into a tree. In *Journey into Mystery* #103, the first story in which they appeared, she did the same.) When he cried “For Asgard,” it echoed something, but it was the battle cries of Odin, Thor and Loki as they faced off against Surtur:
Odin: For Asgard!
Thor: For Midgard!
Loki: For myself!
You can’t put your arms around a memory, alas, even if I can smile at the “there are always men like you” moment in “The Avengers.”
Yes, I enjoy the writing of “there are always men like you” moment in “The Avengers.” It captures the banality of evil quite well.
The Hulk was my favorite character growing up. The fight with the Fantastic Four in issues 25 & 26 is top of my list.
I liked Walt Simonson’s take on Orion. It was my first experience reading his work. It immediately followed John Byrne’s issues on the Fourth World.
I consider Infinite Crisis and it’s weekly successor, 52, to be comic writing at its best.
Starlin’s Captain Marvel, his Warlock and Thanos tales are gripping.
Finally, my list is completed with Marvel’s cosmic story of Annihilation. What a crossover!
Happy 4th of July to you and your loved ones!
*Fantastic Four* #25-26 is so seminal that when the Hulk and the Thing clashed again in #112 Ben says “Last time we tangled, I went easy on ya” and a footnote directs us to those two issues. (Actually, I think the footnote says “#24-25,” but I’m not positive. Don’t ask me about how the Scarlet Witch was actually in Avengers Mansion the last time Daredevil was there.)
The thing is, it wasn’t the last time they fought! That was in *Hulk* #122 which led to a brief period (two issues!) where Bruce could control his transformations and even married Betty Ross.
One of my favorite character-defining utterances from Greenskin comes as he fights the Cobalt Man, who calls him “evil,” and the Hulk retorts:
“Evil, blue man? Hulk may be big…Hulk may be strong…but Hulk is not evil!”
Orion is a terrific character, but when I first encountered the New Gods, I preferred Lightray. As someone who reveled in angst-ridden Marvel heroes, that always surprised me, since Lightray is about as upbeat and cheerful a soul as you can meet.
If you have the time or the inclination, check out Simonson’s run on *Thor* (#337-82, aside from two issues, #356 and #370). What he does with the Asgardians is a thing of beauty and a joy forever. (Also worth a look: the four-issue *Balder* limited series.)
The best 4th of July wishes to you and your family, SP.
I don’t know, I kind of like “plotpourri.”
I’ll give John Byrne this… he’s made me feel pretty darn good about being 38.
Heck, his DSH John at 38 makes me feel pretty darn good about being 60 — less gray, no bald spot and a much smaller spare tire.
So Mooch was Asian once. Big deal. Everyone knows “James Bond” isn’t a person, but a code name assigned by MI6 to their top agent. You know, the guy who in-universe has been called “the world famous secret agent,” a self-contradictory descriptor on its own.
How many Felix Leiters has the CIA gone through? Hell, how many Blofelds has SPECTRE used up? Why does Yogi Bear wear a tie and collar but is otherwise naked? (checks notes: might’ve added useless detail to proof)
There will always be a Mooch. He may not be the Mooch we need, but he’s the Mooch we deserve. As John McClane famously said, “Yippee-ki-yay, mothermoocher!”
What good is being the world’s most famous secret agent if you can’t tell anybody?
😉😂
Speaking of which, do you think Masone traveled on the cheap because he was traveling “incognito”?
“In all the world, who is the most effective assassin?”
“I would think, anyone who manages to conceal his identity as an assassin.”
An insightful moment, despite being in one of the silliest movies ever made.
Mayonnaise wore Groucho glasses, while asking every passenger “Do you know who I am?”
In Fleming’s books, Felix Leiter “disagreed with something that ate him” in *Live and Let Die,* and loses an arm and half a leg. After that, the CIA uses him as a reservist, and his day job is with Pinkerton’s.
What I like about the character is that he’s so much a part of the series despite his diminishing appearances (he’s in three of the first four novels, two of the second four and one of the final four) that when the movies began, Felix is there in “Doctor No,” and he’s not in that book.
That first Felix (book ’em, Danno!) is Jack Lord, who reminds me a lot of the actors who worked with Jeremy Brett’s Sherlock Holmes: after Nigel Bruce’s amiable bumbler, it was good to see a Doctor Watson who was more than a foil. (Particularly when David Burke played the role, although Edward Hardwicke was also fine.) Apparently, ego issues on Lord’s part kept him from becoming a regular in the movies, for which the Aloha State is probably grateful (if not Wo Fat).
The hero of Bruce Springsteen’s “I’m a Rocker” only wishes he could do things as well as James Bond and Secret Agent Man.
Felix isn’t just portrayed by different actors in the films, he’s done as the opposite of the last movie. In Dr No, he’s in his 30s. In Goldfinger, he’s like 92 and using a Stairmaster. (may be remembering wrong), in Thunderball: so utterly useless 007 sucker punches him, and the twerp doesn’t see it coming.
Never Say Never Again he was finally a partner to Bond. Okay, Really Old Baldy Bond, but still. And played by a Black man, proving that he’s a different guy in every movie.
CS 7/2:
…What? Seriously, WHAT? “I want you to make sure NO ONE ever comes back to this theater! I’m paying your wife to vomit on everyone! And then—we release the HOUNDS so that they may FEAST ON THE FLESH OF THE LIVING!”
MAX: “I shall now mildly smile!” (horrific carnage ensues, also vomit)
Seriously, what? Even the mistakes people made in 1965 are now sacrosanct rituals for Tom? “And LO, one must spit thy gum of chewing upon the pavement, so that others may tread uponst! Also, smoke 2 packs of Lucky Strikes every day.”
Dude, my dude Thomas–I’m old. I’ve seen movies with projectionists who way too old to doing it, or way too drunk to be doing it! It’s not a plus to the viewing experience!
“Don’t worry, Mason! These highly degraded acetate copies will make sure that everyone knows it’s on film when they get stuck in the projector and burn! BURN, you scum ahahaha!! Also, our popcorn is made of asbestos.”
Note to Tom: Just because it’s old, it don’t mean it’s good.
“At the reel change, make a mistake so people will know the movie is on film!” Umm, won’t the existence of a reel chance illustrate that well enough?
Maybe it’s just me, but that “small white circle in the upper right corner” that means a reel change? I hate seeing that. It pulls me out of the story and reminds me that it’s just a movie.
Remember those JJ Abrams Star Trek movies with the constant lens flare? No, John Jacob Jingleheimer or whatever that stands for, lens flare is a thing you take OUT of a movie.
Regard Panel Two in Sunday’s “Where in the World is Ed Crankshaft”:
“Well, Suzy, because you did so well in first grade this past year I’m taking you to the movies to celebrate!” “Oh boy, Mommy! Can we go see ‘Elemental’ or ‘The Little Mermaid’ or ‘Spider-Man’?” “No, Sweetheart! I’m taking you to see a film about a fortysomething lawyer who develops breast cancer, is erroneously told it’s in remission, and later dies, leaving behind the grown son she gave up for adoption after being assaulted on prom night and a young daughter who’ll never know her!” “WAAAAHHHH!!!”
“AND–it won’t fit on the screen!”
“WAAAAH!”
“Mommy, can’t we go see something more cheerful? Look, the theater in Eastburg is running an Ingmar Bergman retrospective, can’t we go see that instead?”
“Daughter, the Valentine is showing a Double Creature Feature! It’s ‘Requiem for a Dream,’ followed by…’Requiem for a Dream’! You’ll never look at a refrigerator the same way again!”
“WAAAAH”
“And when we get home, Daddy will read you your favorite bedtime story–‘The Forever War’!”
“WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
Thanks to Major Force and Alexandra DeWitt, I haven’t been able to look at a refrigerator the same way for years!
That F’s wrong with Batty? He just has to shoehorn in Lisa’s Story any chance he gets.
That poor girl just wanted watch something nice and eat some candy, now she is stuck watching this mope a dope drama.
I worked in a liquor store, in a plaza where the other major business was a tiny multiplex. And a shoe repair place. Yes, it was that exciting.
I’d see them bringing in the new film reels, as this was before every movie was sent digitally. Those things weren’t big, but gol dang if it wasn’t clear that they weighed a ton. A carry-on sized bag that needed a handtruck. So of course, Max handles them like they’re empty pizza boxes.
Yeah, not common knowledge, but does this guy do any research? Maybe they’re Butter Brinkle movies. Those weigh less because silent movies had no words.
Research? Why do that when you can just do whatever you want without any consequences. It’s not like syndicate is going to pull the plug on this nonsense.
For Batty, if it is something he thinks he remembers from his childhood, then it is true and good. Nothing else matters.
The Funkyverse often has a Pluggers feel to it, with its nostalgia for the sake of nostalgia. Pluggers loves to extoll the virtues of a hopelessly outdated things as if they were somehow better, like a 1930s-era radio the size of a 1980s TV.
Despite that, at least Pluggers has some concept of what other people are nostalgic about. The Funkyverse is entirely about Tom Batiuk’s personal, very narrow nostalgia. How to read comic books correctly, how to write comic books correctly, how to collect comic books correctly, how to talk about comic books correctly, how to go to movies correctly, how to feel about high school band correctly, and how to act correctly when your wife dies.
The Funkyverse is the epitome of “shit nobody cares about.” Even though millions of people are comic book fans, hundreds of thousands of people have lost a loved one to cancer, and tens of thousands of men are widowers. His subject matter ought to be broad enough, but he makes it all so narrow nobody else can relate to it.
7/03 CS:
Crankshaft goes to classical concerts. Crankshaft eats marbles. Crankshaft once said “pigeon” when he meant “smidgen.” Crankshaft is canonically illiterate. Crankshaft is 110 years old and hangs from the gutters he’s cleaning. Guess which one of those I made up. Not that there is no evidence that he eats marbles, but I will grant the point.
Tommy’s going to make fun of people who go to classical music concerts, because only HE can watch them the right way? (CRACKS KNUCKLES) Bring…it…ON.
(I won the tickets for our 1st concert from the radio. We decided to dress to the nines for this! I said to her “You look extra radiant today!” We sat behind a guy who wore his best ripped, stained, purple sweatsuit. Maybe he was Crankshaft!)
Question: Who takes a WWII veteran to a Fourth of July concert featuring works by a German composer? The same sorts of people who would take children to a movie about a woman who dies from breast cancer, I suppose.
I had a Lyft driver today that was playing the local contemporary Christian radio station on the radio. One of the songs had a chorus with the lyric “what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger.” Really, Christian pop music is taking cues from Friedrich Nietzsche now?
My point is, incongruity doesn’t seem to be much of an obstacle in 2023.
One of the few life lessons I’ve actually managed to learn is that professional movers are worth EVERY PENNY.
Yes! Also, I always use a car service to take me to/ from the airport. I’m not asking friends and family to do it!
Oh lord, yes. They’re not even that expensive! It only cost me a few hundred bucks to move apartments 13 years ago. Well worth it, even though I wasn’t making much at the time.
Money makes problems go away. Too many people choose to live with a problem, or strain their friendships, to hoard a few bucks. It’s not worth it.
Call me lazy if you want, but I’m happy to hire professionals to do things I’d screw up if I tried to do them myself.