73 thoughts on “Birds of a Feather”

  1. Congratulations to Be Ware of Eve Hill!
    Your status has been upgraded from “Superior Snarker”. It is now bestowed upon you to be known as “SOSF Muse” to our delightful ComicBookHarriet.
    You wear it well! (Someone should write a song!)
    ♥️💖❤️🫂🌺💐🌹

    1. Thanks, SP.

      Friday, I left a similar comment on GoComics. The moderator deleted it. That was the most recent Lillian snark the GoComics moderator deleted. They seem to have developed some kind of fondness for Lillian. This person clearly has no knowledge of the character’s history. Lillian is a vile creature bent on taking over the strip, not some kindly spinster-type character. If Lillian is so damn nice, why doesn’t she bake cookies for the customers? Ugh.

      Lillian has developed Les Moore syndrome. Everybody does nice things for her when she hasn’t done anything to deserve it. She never displays any gratitude either. Double ugh.

      According to my GoComics profile, I haven’t commented in seven days. However, I actually left three comments on Crankshaft this week. I’m wondering if I’m being strictly monitored by the moderator. The Crankshaft terrorist watch list.

      Perhaps I’m being unfair to the moderator. The comments could be flagged into deletion by the pearl-clutchers, who we all know tend to overreact.

      1. Eve,
        I just checked GoComics. I cannot find any comment by you as far back as June 25. They must have it in for just you. There were quite a few by many of ours that I recognized. Aren’t you a Premium Member, and they treat you this way? At least, CBH and the rest of us can testify of your Muse-ibility.

          1. Wow. Comics Kingdom was so bad it convinced you not to subscribe to GoComics.

        2. There were 30+ comments on Crankshaft when I checked at lunchtime. When I got home from work, there were 21. It appears Jack the Ripper Moderator deleted almost a third of the comments, including two of mine.

          Moderator: What’s all this then? We’ll have no revelry and mirth while I’m on the job. This is strictly a no-fun zone.

          1. What were some of your pithy comments that I have been deprived of?

            On a more serious note…in other words, events important to me (😎) my son and I fought off a monstrous young raccoon 🦝 (15lb?) from my backyard deck.
            It started when my wonderful neighbor came to my front door and told my son that a 🦝 was on my deck. ( I was somewhat occupied in the bathroom. Details unimportant.) My son went out on the deck and looked around. He heard a noise behind him. Both were startled when they made eye contact. My son ran into the house. The 🦝 jumped into an open bbq charcoal sack. HE DID NOT KNOCK IT OVER! Jumped straight in. Pure rim. My son left out that information. So I assumed the raccoon was nesting in the sack. What to do? What to do? So I grabbed a can of WD-40. (I know that sounds worse than it is. My first choice was spray Clorox, but that creeped me out.) So I squirted the sack. Nothing, but he did stick his head out a little. I squirted again. NOTHING! Then I had my son grab a broom. I carefully tipped the bag over. Nothing. Then he crawled out. Turned around. Growled menacingly. I was terrified! I banged the door. He sauntered over to the edge of the deck and climbed the post. Then slowly crawled down. Sauntered back to the other post. Disappeared. My son went out the front and looked back towards the deck. Saw nothing. We assumed the raccoon went quietly because of the WD-40 that we now call Raccoon Spray.

          2. @SorialPromise

            One comment was to J.J. O’Malley. He mentioned Mopey Pete and Mindy last week when Crankshaft was mentioning all of the family living in his home. I make a joke about Mopey Pete and Mindy appearing because J.J. had summoned them by mentioning their names à la Beetlejuice.

            It seems every time I respond to J.J. O’Malley, the entire thread gets deleted. No more.

            The second comment I reposted late yesterday evening:

            Are these two still celebrating the world’s longest wedding engagement? Only the author knows for sure… perhaps not. He’s not exactly known for keeping his facts straight. According to a Crankshaft strip last week they don’t even live together.

            Why isn’t Windy Mindy wearing her engagement tiger? Inquiring minds want to know.

            Quite an adventure you and your son had with that raccoon. Red Green often said you only need two tools, duct tape and WD-40. Never would have figured WD-40 as a raccoon repellant.

            Your story about the raccoons brings to mind a memory from my time in girl scouts. During summer camp, a fellow scout and I stumbled upon a cave that housed a group of deceased raccoons. Despite knowing better, we foolishly decided to remove them from the cave. Our scout leader was understandably upset and screamed at us about the potential health risks associated with handling dead animals.

            Speaking of getting into trouble, our dog Rusty managed to escape during a nearby fireworks display on the fourth by jumping the gate. While most dogs are usually scared of fireworks, Rusty seemed to be enjoying himself and was happily running up and down the street. We had a hell of a time putting him on his leash. Unfortunately, our Homeowners Association has some strict leash laws, and we’re hoping to only receive a warning rather than a fine for Rusty’s breach of the rules. Bad dog, Rusty. No treat for you.

          3. 1. So who arrived at your home first? Rusty or the HOA? I know that HOA’s are necessary. Yet the neighbors are sometimes too quick to pounce. Dogs get out. The owners succeed in capturing the pet. (Who’s a good boy? Rusty is a good boy!) It should be the end of the story. But it is not. By the way, weren’t you elected president of your HOA? Eve, this is a friendly joke: When chasing Rusty, I bet more explosives were coming out of your mouth than going off in your neighborhood.
            2. Here is a more Batiuk topic. Is there anyone in the FW Universe that is likable? Becky? Maybe if she had any sort of backbone. She lets men run over her. (Literally!) Funky seems the most balanced until you get him in an AA meeting. If the strip would stick to Crankshaft, he seems tolerable and eccentric. My opinions aren’t necessarily yours. Feel free to disagree or expand.
            3. Back to our Eve. I am rewatching “Asphalt Jungle.” Such a taut film. Characters are enjoyable yet at the same time disgusting.
            This is more for @Anonymous Sparrow. I never noticed the first time that the Professor’s fate was foreshadowed during his first visit to Cobby.
            That’s it for SP!
            Adieu et au revoir!

            A little known fact that I think I may have learned from Anonymous Sparrow, or it could have been from @Green Luthor: people may read this and think, “That SP is a jerk!” But if I close with a little bit of French, they go away thinking, “That was classy!)

          4. Just thought I’d mention that I did see (and “like”) your comment asking if MoPete and Minty were celebrating the world’s longest wedding reception.

            I don’t usually check back to see if my comments get deleted. Maybe I should.

          5. @Sorial Promise

            1). Most definitely Rusty arrived first. Our current HOA is extremely passive aggressive. We may receive a gentle warning a couple of weeks from now telling us to review the community’s bylaws that came when we bought our home. The HOA fee is $40 a month. Other than an aggregate for electricity, gas and trash/ recycling, I’m not sure how we’re benefiting from the HOA fee. Perhaps it’s a protection fee.
            HOA: You have a nice home. A pity if something happened to it.

            By contrast, our HOA in Irvine CA, fined us $50 for flying more than one U.S. flag on Veterans Day. Our son served in the U.S. Air Force and we’re proud. Excuse the f*ck out of us. We were also fined because my husband parked his truck in our driveway while he was rebuilding automobiles. They have to be stored in our garage while he works on them. Unbelievable.

            FYI, I was one of three people running for two at-large positions on the HOA board. The people spoke and I was odd man out.

            LOL. I’m sure I took the Lord’s name in vain a few times while chasing after Rusty. Dumb dog.

            2.) I found a couple of FW Act 3 characters likeable. Bull Bushka and Funky’s AA sponsor, Wade.

            3.) LOL. You are a Sterling Hayden fan. I’m not sure whose voice I find sexier, Sterling Hayden’s or Lee Marvin’s.

          6. @Hannibal’s Lectern. Thanks for the upvote even if the GC moderator obliterated your kind gesture.

            A couple of months ago you asked us to guess your GoComics identity. I’ve never been able to determine. Are you @Mopman or @Puddleglum1066?

      2. At least no one has wished bodily harm befall you. I still upvote you whenever I see your comments.

        1. That is a critical difference. For a while, you were being threatened every day. No one dared to threaten Eve. Life is short enough as it is.
          😎🤩😎

          1. Huh. It’s like the commenters threaten people they perceive as male, and just ignore and delete the ones with female names.

            (rubs chin) Huh. Wonder why?

          2. They are jerks. I mean this in the nicest possible way. Splut, great observation.

          3. The jokes on them, they are now stuck with reading about comic books now! Ha ha! Still want to defend Crapshaft against all those hateful commenters? No more muddled aphorisms for you! It’s all comic books and Lisa’s Story from now on.

        2. None of the pearl-clutchers reply to me at all. I suppose they could be flagging my comments, but wouldn’t somebody post a comment asking me, “Why do you hate Lillian so much?”

          Pearl-Clutcher: Quit picking on Lillian. She’s a sweet old lady.
          Me: 😖🤢🤮

          That’s what makes me think it is the moderator acting on their own. There’s no pushback from other readers. My comments simply disappear in the evening. No warning. Just *poof*
          =================

          Thanks for the upvotes, J.J. I upvote most of your Crankshaft comments on GoComics and Arcamax. We have to stick together.

    2. While we wait for that song BWOEH so richly deserves, I advise everyone to seek out “Psycho Chicken,” the Fools’s satire of the Talking Heads’s “Psycho Killer.” Here are the lyrics:

      I can’t seem to face up to the facts
      I’m tense and nervous and I can’t relax
      This Colonel Sanders job is getting me down
      A crazy chicken chasing me all over town

      A psycho chicken – what the f*ck?!
      Better run run run run run run run away
      Oh oh oh oh aye aye aye aye aye

      I don’t know just what to do
      He’s got a grudge against Frank Purdue
      He’s clucking a lot, but he’s not saying anything
      I plucked him once! Why pluck him again?

      A psycho chicken – what the f*ck?!
      Better run run run run run run run away
      Oh oh oh oh aye aye aye aye aye

      Colonel Sanders wants to cook his goose
      But psycho chicken still on the loose

      They caught him down in Ohio
      They tied up his head and they put him in the oven
      They put him in a box right next to a road
      Put some plaster round his legs and someone took him home
      Ate him for lunch and he tasted real fine (belch)
      But the guy who ate him, he just lost his mind!

      That’s not why he’s known as Crazy Harry, though!

  2. 😂 Thanks, Comic Book Harriet. So much more funny than the current strip. Lillian The Chicken Lady sics her horde on Crankshaft, akin to the Wicked Witch of the West sending her flying monkeys after Dorothy.

  3. Can we stop this charade? As soon as he could after D-Day, Ed Crankshaft–birth name Edvard Krankenschaften–defected to the “Krauts”. He gave them valuable information that convinced his new buddy Der Fuhrer, who he called “Mustache Boy,” that he could defeat the Western Allies in the Battle of the Bulge. The Gestapo knew it must be true, as he spoke in weird OSS codes. “Ja, he is with the saying of ‘Ve haff a…pigeon of a chance’? Vos ist los scheisse?” When the Allies broke across the German border, he ran again, this time to American lines, pretending he’d escaped a Nazi prison camp named Stalag 13. The triple-crosser then fed Eisenhower false info about an “Alpine Festung,” slowing the West’s advance and allowing Stalin to take most of Eastern Europe. Why do you think he wears so much RED?!
    You guys should be like me, and do your own research.

    1. Oh no…
      That’s the sound of a master Paintsmith at work on some Baffling Nonsense ™

  5. My 7/10 CS CK Comment:
    “A comic book arc! About a gross weird guy!! Being one who loves comics, his prize is A TROPHY BLONDE! (for CS readers–You’re reading Funky Winkerbean forever now. There is no Cranka, only ZUUL!)”

    (read my comment again tomorrow! Okay, maybe not)

    Gourd, but this is vomitous. “NO, Reward Lady! You’re adorbs because you have the exact same thoughts and feelings as I do, right as I have them! Also, sorry, but which Nerd Trophy Blonde are you again? Marilyn MonBORE? Taylor NotSoSwift? Lady GooGooGaGa? Fleabay?”
    “Oh, you talk so sweet, nerd who hasn’t showered in 2 weeks! Not even to get the Hot Pocket scraps out your beard–I mean chest hairs–I mean pubes!”

    1. Jeepers. I sure hope that Jeff finds a dealer who has his amazingly valuable collection and sells it back to him for pennies! Of course, that would never happen in this strip.

      “Hey, my dad is traumatized! He had a Fat Flash comic!”
      “Why don’t we take him to a place that sells them, so that he can relive it, over and OVER?”
      “Yes! I can bring my…(waves hands)…Okay, I’m sure I’m related to the Iraq War guy somehow! We’ll take him to the FIREWORKS SHOW!”
      “Boy, does he scamper when the Shining Twins throw firecrackers in his lap!”
      “YOU ARE CUDDLE PUDDLES LOL!!”

    3. “Yeah, Pete, you’re so adorbs. It’s adorable how you proposed to me with a stuffed animal four years ago, and have made no effort to upgrade to an actual ring, schedule our wedding, or even tell anyone that we’re engaged! It’s great that you’ve offered to invite my father to a public event anyone can go to if they want to! I’m sure he’ll enjoy the memories of how he should have burned to death on our last comic book-related trip! Maybe you could use some of the money you made from living in a Kent State bachelor hovel when you make an obscene salary, or from one of your boxes of $40,000 comic books, or from the royalty payments you somehow got from my idea for ‘Stardusters’! My biological clock totally isn’t ticking! I’m a young attractive woman who likes guy stuff! No other man could never possibly be interested in me!”

      1. The only part I would dispute is the “public event anyone can go to” part. Tickets to SDCC sell out almost immediately after they go on sale; if Jff hasn’t had a ticket for months already, he’s not getting in. (Whether SDCC allows companies like Atomik Krapsax to bring any rando they want I couldn’t say offhand, but, y’know… it’s called writing or whatever.)

        1. Hmm, good point. Pete got Comic-Con awards handed to Flash and Ruby, so it’s he clear he has some pull. Even though Atomik Komix never even rents an exhibitor’s booth.

    4. Today’s third panel is vile. VILE. That look on Pete’s face…

      Did Davis actually have to draw that instead of swiping the art? Next he’ll be bringing Vigo the Carpathian into Crankshaft.

        1. Let us all pray that Davis never recycles any of Ayers drawings of Durwood from this strip. Yikes! That’s Hall of Fame-level post-Burchett Ayers right there.

        2. Ah, another classic “they just didn’t care” strip.

          “Hm, should I color Mopey’s thumb to match the rest of his hand, or should I color it the same color as his shirt, so it looks like he crossed the Yakuza?”

          Mopey wa baka desu!

          2. Honestly, I was thinking of that parody when I made the Yakuza reference. 🙂

  6. The moderator seems to believe that his or her job is to promote the bilge we are seeing. If that means not saying bad things about a peevish nincompoop who destroyed three lives for a malicious and pants on head stupid reason, she will be lionized.

    1. I’m more concerned that Batty’s new syndicate allows him to publish this crap. I guess they just want to cash a check too.

  7. I looked at “The Komix Thoughts” today. A) That definite article drives me nuts. “Komix Thoughts” is bad enough, but…B) Can we all just go ahead and admit that his 5th grade drawing of “Starbuck Jones” is, for lack of a better term (which of course I would use if I could think of it) – adorable? It makes no sense of course, but what 5th-grader does?

    1. It also, I think alone in the “Starbuck Jones” oeuvre, attempts to tell a full story.

      Is it an even vaguely comprehensible story? Well, not especially. But you can see 11-year-old Tom understands that his hero needs to take action and have adventures — he needs to make things happen, and to have interesting things happen to him.

      Clearly, Tom quickly outgrew this mode of thinking.

      1. D’awww that is cute. Reminds me of some 20 year old scribbles I have somewhere that one of my brothers did in church, where he drew the entire battle of Helms Deep in excutiating detail, complete with dozens and dozens of Uruk-Hai.

        I do have to wonder about him dating the Starbuck Jones thing to 2013. I mean, yeah that was when he would be planning the beginning of Holly’s Starbuck Collecting Crusade, but I think the first mention of it in strip was right before Funky crashed his car through time in summer 2010.

        Also, regarding a comment by BWOEH on the last post.

    2. First — thank you for pointing out that really odd definite article.

      THE komix thoughts? Why, yes! There can be no others! THE Tom Batiuk has spoken!

      Second, the 5th grade drawing is incoherent but adorable. And totally age-appropriate. His current work has only one of those three qualities. Can you guess which?

  8. The current promotion from our friends at the Comics Kingdom. WTH?! 🤣😂🤣

    Are you kidding me? A four-month free trial? A third of a year? What is the Comics Kingdom’s strategy here? Hope you forget the date your credit card gets charged, then deny all requests for a refund when you see the charge? At the end of four months, they’re still overcharging at $29.99 for an annual subscription. Too much when compared to GoComics.

    Am I the only one who thinks lowering the subscription price would garner more subscribers? Not enough paying subscribers at $19.99? Lower the price to $17.99 or $15.99. What a bunch of business school rejects. Unbelievable.

    1. When I first signed up, they charged me $19.99. And then 29.99. And then refunded me both, then charged me 24.99. They also log me out 3-4 times a week. They just recharged me for a new year, at 29.99, and they did it without asking. It’s no different than when I checked a shipping cost at Amazon, and it signed me up for Prime. The day before I spent 7 weeks in the hospital, so I had no way to cancel. (I had a Kindle with me, but I sure as hell didn’t know my password)
      Don’t forget: GC says there are big changes coming in September! Any guesses if they will be good changes?

      1. I took Comics Kingdom up on their April Fools Day Sale last year. One free month trial then $19.99 for the year. After the service underwent massive sh*tification, I elected not to renew. I may have reupped for $19.99 but the CK refused to negotiate. It frightens me that they still have my credit card info.

        They laughably call themselves “Your Premier Source for Comics” and raise the price by 50%. Absurd.

        It’s not all bad. More than two months after not renewing my subscription the CK is still sending the daily favorites email to me. Thanks Comics Kingdom!
        ———————————-
        Last December, GoComics shared some of the upcoming site update features on their blog. However, I’m concerned that an unannounced change is they might make the archives exclusive to premium subscribers.

        1. KC never told me they were renewing my sub. I found out by checking my card statement. You might want to check yours.

          1. Thanks. My credit card is set up to notify me via SMS message of any charges.

            If you don’t cancel the subscription, it automatically renews. I canceled my CK subscription by pressing the cancel button on my account’s subscription page. Cancellation wasn’t immediate. Access to the archives was still available for a few hours.

            Before I cancelled my subscription, I tried to delete my credit card info from my Comics Kingdom payment information. The website wouldn’t let me. Add or change only.

            There is something on my subscription page I’ve wondered about. When I was notified the price increased to $29.99 I tried to haggle for the price to remain $19.99. My offer fell on deaf ears. Down at the bottom of my subscription page, there is a plan to renew for two years. The price is listed as $38.99. I wonder if that is legit or a typo?

            One dollar less than twice the old price of $19.99. It would really suck if I clicked that two-year button and my credit card was charged $59.98

  9. RE: Tuesday’s 7/11 “Crankshaft”:

    When will Batiuk realize that the denizens of his strips cannot see word balloons? Min-dull doesn’t know there are quotes around ‘meat’ and that—without any verbal cues—Mopey Pete isn’t in fact saying the word ‘meet,’ as one normally would in this phrase. What works in print doesn’t necessarily carry over to the verbal medium.

    Also…“see how the sausage is made”? Judging from the many Atomik covers that used to grace FW, it promises to be the most unappetizing tour since Upton Sinclair’s “The Jungle.” But still…COMIC BOOKS! COMIC BOOKS! COMIC BOOKS!

    1. Well for someone who just used the word “adorbs” she has no right to complain. And hey Karen, you are with this idiot, so what’s that say about you?

    2. Vonnegut once said “Every sentence must do one of two things—reveal character or advance the action.”
      This strip does neither. Oh, they’re going to the Bullpen, just as stated yesterday. No advance there. Droop Dog is a smug, comics-obsessed twerp who does nonsensical, unfunny wordplay. Like, hmm…EVERYBODY ELSE?
      My comment on GC was “Bats had a YEAR to polish this joke, and this is what it is? Get it? POLISH sausage?! From Poland?! (Not less funny than the strip)”
      “Meat and greet” makes no sense out loud, just in print. My “joke” is the same, but opposite.In speech, it’s either pronounced “polish” or “Polish,” exchange one for the other in speech, and you’d just get stared at.

      What does “going to heaven” mean? She was about to have hot babe-on-schlub sex with him? Ewww, man!

    3. “Seeing how the sausage is made” as an idiom is not supposed to be describing a pleasant or enjoyable experience. It describes something disgusting or disillusioning. Mopey is suggesting that they should bring Jfff by the office in order to cure him of his love of comic books.

      “Once he finds out how slipshod, haphazard and stupid we are in the creation of these things, he’ll never want to read a comic book again!”
      “Wow, I’ve never seen a man so rapidly lose respect for his OWN intelligence!”

      Also, I wonder how Batiuk is going to reconcile the Funky version of Atomik Comix, where Mindy is older and (in theory) more together and actually works there, and the Crankshaft version, where Mindy is a worthless layabout who’s still got easily a decade before she’ll have the wherewithal to move out of her parents’ house.

      1. It’s also supposed to hint that the process is ugly, even if the end result is attractive. But Pete and his co-employees never do anything at work but waste time and talk about comic book covers. I guess this is another bad attempt at self-deprecation.

  10. And of course, we see Jeff’s inner child…..the inner child too whiny and stupid to understand what he looks like to the mother he doesn’t care to understand. Jfffff is another Batiuk surrogate.

    1. I don’t know why Jeff even needs an inner child. It’s not like he has an outer adult. Also, isn’t his mother dead? I would ask why is he still fighting this battle, but we all know it’s because Batiuk still is.

      1. Wait, is this the kid from that “Expedition to the Phantom Empire set” arc? It was all one big hallucination? And then Jff gets Alzheimers? Sorry, I wasn’t here during that, and pre-SoSF, FW plots went through me like a Crankshaft joke through a goose.

    2. Anybody else hoping Jff says “No” to imaginary little Jff so we don’t have to endure the rest of this story arc?

      This comic-con story arc didn’t work in Funky Winkerbean. Why not drag it out for a “new audience” in Crankshaft.

      1. Imagine a version of Peter Pan where Peter has a doppleganger that represents his “inner child.” It’s completely superfluous, because the whole point of Peter Pan’s character is that he never grows up. And so it is with the comic book addicts of the Funkyverse. It’s not endearing to see the inner child of someone who never grew up in the first place.

        You can see what Batiuk is aiming for. Jeff’s mean ol’ mommy took his comic books away, and finally he gets to enjoy them. Because Batiuk is still fighting that battle. But Jeff is at least 50 now. He’s been making his own life decisions for decades. And, this is has never been a source of difficulty or deprivation in Jeff’s life. And if it ever was, he’s been adequately fulfilled with the two dozen other comic book adventures he’s already been on.

        If anything, Jeff’s inability to move past his childhood fandoms should have gotten him killed in Bronson Canyon. And should give him pause about going to California again. We all know it won’t, though.

        1. Jff and his Inner Homunculus want to go to Comic-Con. This can mean only one thing: San Diego’s going to burn to the ground while Jff and IH pay another visit to the phantom empire of Moronia.

          Unless Chester decides that* Ed should drive the whole crew to Comic-Con in the school bus (why not; they seem to let him take it on personal jaunts)… in which case, they only get as far as Nobottom Road, clearing the way for the Triumphant Arrival of Les Moore as the new star of “Cranky Shafterbean”!

          I also noticed that on the GoComics site there was a comment from a guy who calls himself “jasonsnakelover” and commented “I’d love to come.” In this context (smirking Jff disturbingly close to underage boy), I found the snake lover’s comment to be… disturbing.

          1. I wonder how the new CS fans will take to this. Will they start questioning why some little kid keeps teleporting in from Dimension X? Who is not portrayed as Jeff’s imagination? If I knew someone his age who just stared at his knee and smiled whimsically, acting if there was somewhere there, I’d get Bedside Asylum on speed dial.
            He could’nt’ve have asked Davis to draw him like, I dunno, a disembodied head in a thought bubble? Tom drew strips for years, and that’s basic art. That’s “Draw Timmy Turtle in a way that doesn’t look like a tracing,” like those old comic book ads. Any bets Tom fell for that Norman Rockwell scam as a kid?

        2. Jeff’s a LOT older than 50. He was a student at Kent State in 1970, so he’s gotta be in his 70s by now. (Well… if we apply logic and deductive reasoning to things. Which could be a mistake when “it’s called writing” happens.)

          (On the other hand, MOPEY would be at least 50. As are Boy Lisa and Jessica Darling Whose Father John Darling Was Murdered. Sure is great that Batiuk was the first person to have his comic strips’ characters age in real time…)

          1. I left what I thought was a helpful little note on GC Wed. describing Jeff’s “other self,” only to be accused of criticizing and “mansplaining.” Why are they assuming I’m a man?

          2. I think it behooves Batiuk to not think too hard about everyone’s respective ages, and I’m sure if he felt he was up to the challenge, he would permanently set Crankshaft back in the vague 80s or 90s era. That way he could keep Pm and Jfff roughly in their mid 40s, and Crankshaft, who is a WWII veteran and was a grown man before the war, isn’t quite pushing into his 80s yet. (I’m sure I’ve said this before, but I worked for a guy who missed out on fighting in WWII because he was six months too young. Were he still alive, he’d be turning 95 this year)

            But then, if he did that, Batiuk would have to keep his society in the 80s or 90s, which means no cell phones, no internet, and no “climate damage”. He also couldn’t trend chase or address modern issues (although he probably doesn’t care much anymore, but it WAS in Funky right up until the end) because they simply weren’t prevalent or didn’t exist in society’s consciousness like they do today. It was a different time, with different concerns. And I think that’s too much for him to keep track of, considering he can’t seem to remember everyone’s names these days.

            He’d be opening himself up to a host of new criticisms. For instance, Jfff’s inner child of geeking out over comic books would be looked at with contempt by pretty much everyone, since he’s a grown man entertaining a childish hobby. Plus, every time something wasn’t period-appropriate, he’d be rightly criticized for screwing that up.

            Plus, I don’t think the syndicate would be thrilled to have one of its properties turned into a period piece from 35 years ago.

          3. <i<I think it behooves Batiuk to not think too hard about everyone’s respective ages

            Then Batiuk needs to shut his piehole about being the only comic strip where people age realistically. Nobody would care if his characters stayed the same age. Batiuk is the one who made it an issue. And then he insults his audience when they expect him to follow his own rules.

            Batiuk would have to keep his society in the 80s or 90s. He also couldn’t trend chase or address modern issues. I think that’s too much for him to keep track of. He’d be opening himself up to a host of new criticisms. Jfff’s inner child of geeking out over comic books would be looked at with contempt by pretty much everyone, since he’s a grown man entertaining a childish hobby. I don’t think the syndicate would be thrilled to have one of its properties turned into a period piece from 35 years ago.

            All of this is already happening anyway. The syndicate made a mistake when let Batiuk continue to do whatever he wants, after he already ran FW into the ground with the same poor judgment and choice of subject matter.

        3. Batiuk is always going to fight this battle because he doesn’t want to suffer the defeat of actually understanding what he looks like to other people. He sees a misunderstood and mistreated martyr because other people want their opinions to be validated or because they give errant twaddle about a guy in long underwear who runs at Idiotic Speed its right name. We see a dumbass who doesn’t actually know what’s good for him.

      2. His inner child appears to be a lot similar to DSH’s id in that no effort is wasted on understanding his mother and every impulse is towards pea-brained self-gratification. Today’s strip takes the form of agreeing to invest in hot air….I mean, collectibles.

    3. Batty’s whole use of the “inner child” thing is pathological. Healthy people do not wall off their past selves to the point where they are perceived as separate individuals making irrational demands (correct me if I’m wrong, but I seem to recall that Jff wandered up to Bronson Cave and nearly died during the Great LA Fire arc because his Inner Child wanted to see Moronia). The Guardian had an interesting piece a few days ago about how Bruce Springsteen can still perform songs from the ’70s with the energy of youth, but it’s integrated with the wisdom that comes from being 70 years old. It’s not Old Bruce playing as a Young Bruce Tribute Band. The Boss inhabits not just the present moment, but his whole life. Which, far as I can tell, is what’s called “growing up” or “aging gracefully.”

      The only way this kind of “inner child” character would make any sense would be if at some point Jff actually got in touch with his past self, recognized whatever pain split him in this manner, and integrated his past into his whole… at which point the inner child would disappear, never to be seen again, having completed its purpose. Of course, we will never see this.

      1. Healthy people do not wall off their past selves to the point where they are perceived as separate individuals making irrational demands

        Tom Batiuk is not a very healthy person. In addition to his obsession with comic books, he has spent his whole life in a power struggle over them. With his mother, who’s probably been dead for 20 years. Who he doesn’t have a single positive thing to say about. Though there’s no evidence she was abusive, neglectful, or even all harsh about his precious comic books. She probably just wanted him to get more age-appropriate hobbies, like any parent would. And every time Batiuk does a story like this, he proves she was right. Comic books really did rot his brain and stunt his growth.

  11. Whatever he says, it’s obviously not going to be “…help in the kitchen for the first time my life, woman?” Maybe it’s “…wallow in self pity since 1962?”

    1. No, see, it’s funny because Jff’s shrew of a mother so thoroughly emasculated him when he was a boy that he must now sheepishly ask for Pmm’s permission to go on a California vacation with Min-dull and Mopey…just like the one he took three years ago where he and his pre-pubescent avatar nearly burned to death. At least now, instead of ’30s movie serials, it will be all about…COMIC BOOKS! PRECIOUS COMIC BOOKS!

      “COMIC BOOKS, THEY’RE AS GOOD AS GOLD!!!” (Anyone out there know that animation deep dive?)

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