Spring has well and truly sprung around here. Despite a few days of moderately cold temperatures, things are greening up, baby calves are dropping, and I’ve been scrambling around in the dust underneath vertical tillage machinery dragging a grease gun along behind me.
So here’s some baby pictures for those of you who enjoy the ‘CBH posts unrelated farm nonsense’
And adorable little moo nuggets on blustery spring days, and ultrasound pictures of my older sister’s third (third!) baby in four (FOUR!) years have me thinking of the babies of the Funkyverse.
Such as little Wally Winkerbean, Funky’s cousin (briefly nephew) who was introduced on December 2, 1974.
And what a hopeful, joyful, and not at all grim and fatalistic baby little Wally was!
Son of Stuck Funky 
Is the author of this blog post over 45? Don’t know, but here’s the quick rundown on Xavier Cugat and Pepito:
https://www.kitacokennels.com/post/2019/01/09/xavier-cugat-and-pepito-music-and-chihuahuas
1. I am a sucker for baby calves. After my first date with my future wife, I took her back home to the farm. She took me out to see their young Charolais calf named Frosty. It was by that fence that we shared our first kiss. (Good times. Good times.)
2. Xavier Cugat was in a 1948 movie, “On an Island with You.” He was the band leader and owned a tiny chihuahua that he put in an even tinier dress. He performed with the doggie in a musical number with his band playing maracas. Very spirited. Lots of well known stars for the era.
More on Cugat:
When Stanley Kowalski throws the radio out of the window in *Streetcar Named Desire,* the music playing “sounds like Xavier Cugat,” according to one of the poker players. (I don’t think this is in the film, but it is in the stage play.)
The multi-talented entertainer Charo was married to Cugat from 1966 until 1978. She is famous for saying “cuchi-cuchi,” which is a sound synonymous with baby talk.
In an episode of “All in the Family,” there’s a game involving the identification of band leaders by their initials. Archie stumps Gloria and her friend with “E.C.,” which they don’t get. When asked to identify the musician, Archie grins and says:
“Xavier Cugat.”
And you thought Archie was only noteworthy for his malaprops!
Anonymous Sparrow,
Happy Easter, my friend!
If you look up sexy in the dictionary, you would find a picture of Charo, and a video of her saying, “Cuchi-Cuchi!” Yet Charo was so much more. She was also quite the musician. On my phone, I have 2 of her songs: “Bolero” and “Malagueña”. It is perfection.
I always thought Ed Crankshaft was just Batty copying Archie Bunker.
I had a paperback book, I think it was called The Wisdom of Archie Bunker. It had lots of funny malaprops in it.
I know just enough about Xavier Cugat to have gotten the reference, but I definitely know who Charo is. When I was a kid, she was everywhere on TV, including multiple Love Boat episodes. I was too young then to realize that she was talented far beyond the cuchi cuchi act.
CBH-I love the calf photos! I tip my midwestern suburban slicker hat anyone who farms.
Happy Easter everyone!
i was in a production of Streetcar in high school. I remember the teen actors not knowing who Xavier Cugat was. The director had to explain it to us. This was 35-40 years ago.
If he knew what was facing him, he’d really be upset.
Do you know Richard Thompson’s “End of the Rainbow”?
I feel for you, you little horror
Safe at your mother’s breast
No lucky break for you around the corner
‘Cause your father is a bully
And he thinks that you’re a pest
And your sister, she’s no better than a whore
[Chorus]
Oh life seems so rosy in the cradle
But I’ll be a friend, I’ll tell you what’s in store
There’s nothing at the end of the rainbow
There’s nothing to grow up for anymore
[Verse 2]
Tycoons and barrow boys will rob you
And throw you on the side
And all because they love themselves sincerely
And the man holds a bread knife
Up to your throat is four feet wide
And he’s anxious just to show you what it’s for
[Chorus]
Your mother works so hard to make you happy
But take a look outside the nursery door
There’s nothing at the end of the rainbow
There’s nothing to grow up for anymore
Or there’s this, from “The World Is a Wonderful Place”:
Lovers pair off and they fall into bed
The same old lies trip off the tongue
A few lonely hearts stand and prop up the room
The night is young
Envy the bodies asleep on the floor
Dreaming some comfortable dream
And envy the drunk as he falls through the door
For the world is drunk I see
You live and you die
There’s no reason why
The world is a wonderful place
The poor live in pain
They’re sick and insane
Oh the world is a wonderful place
How does it feel to be nothing?
How does it feel to be small?
Pour hard on that wine
It’s the end of the line
Oh the world is a wonderful place
Another year older and nothing to show
Is this what I grew up to be?
How are you birthday boy?
Here’s a pat on the back
You’re a sight to see
Am I just a clown
Like the fools gathered here?
Am I nothing special at all?
If this is called living
I’m folding my hand
I’m sick of the same brick wall
You live and you die
There’s no reason why
The world is a wonderful place
The poor live in pain
They’re sick and insane
Oh the world is a wonderful place
How does it feel to be nothing?
How does it feel to be small?
Pour hard on that wine
It’s the end of the line
Oh the world is a wonderful place
Thompson is both a great guitarist and a superlative songwriter. He has no Pulitzer Prize, but he can boast of an OBE.
The truly irritating thing is that the “Baby with a grown man’s reference pool” joke is a damn sight funnier than anything he’s done in years. Watching Pmmmmmm feed Crankshaft straight lines so that we can have a witlessly punny name followed by stealing from Walt Kelly is what we call defining humor downward.
The main thing I know about Xavier Cugat was that he was the “Rhumba King”.
I was pretty good at trivia in high school. But when a Trivial Pursuit question came up that asked, “Who was the Rhumba King?” I was clueless, but remembered the answer since then.
Cugat is also referenced as “The Mambo King” to illustrate the generation gap between Max and Goofy in 1995’s A Goofy Movie.
Pam: Dad, you really need to be in Bedside Manor.
Crankshaft: And what, be around that goddamn commie named Mort Winkerbean?! Hell no!
Pam: I’m serious, you’ve been mangling every word since 1987!
In the first strip posted above, Batiuk had the word balloon in the wrong place or Les and Funky in the wrong places. It looks like Les is saying, “This is my new baby cousin, Les! His name is Wally Winkerbean!”
TB really cut back on referencing Funky’s talent in ventriloquism in Act II and I don’t think referenced it once in Act III…
And it was all downhill for Wally from there.
When Wally was a baby, he feared death
With all the shit that happened to him since then, I’d bet Wally would greet death like an old friend
40 days early or not, Billy came up with a better gag than billy…
Today’s Funky Crankerbean:
yawn, today’s been so bland
Tom, please give us something interesting, I don’t care if it’s Dick Facey or Lillian McKenzie I’M SO FUCKING BORED
The eclipse’s path of totality really is going over Cleveland one week from now:
https://nationaleclipse.com/maps.html#ohio
So this week’s arc is relevant, creative, factually correct, and timed correctly. Is that the April Fool’s joke?
Ooo, look cows! Why are all babies soooooo cute?🥰
Question, CBH. Just curious, do you grow any vegetation on your farm that isn’t used as feed for your cattle?
❤ they are super cute, aren’t they?
Yeah, we also grow corn and soybeans. There have been a few years we did some rye as a cover crop and harvested a little seed to sell to other guys wanting it.
We don’t do veggies or anything like that. It’s a pretty commercial operation.