Last week’s Crankshaft was the same as Crankshaft in late August, 2023. Kind of.
At the time, two different sets of strips ran in the same week. One was about Ed causing wildfires that only ran on arcamax.com, and supposedly also in a handful of newspapers. Most newspapers, and online providers, got a benign series of disconnected strips, much like the miscellaneous weeks Tom Batiuk often does at the end of the year. We never really found out why, but it was likely due to the Canadian wildfire references being “too soon” after real-life wildfires forced the evacuation of provincial capital Yellowknife, Northwest Territories.
Well, I guess it’s been long enough now. The originally-censored strips were re-run as last week’s main Crankshaft content. To this day, Tom Batiuk’s blog has not addressed the original disparity or the re-run. It’s been covering its usual subject matter: merchandise promotion, Funky Winkerbean book promotion, random comic book covers, and ancient John Darling strips. I guess he doesn’t have any book signings coming up; those usually get mentioned.
The strips re-ran almost a year later, but were also reworded to remove references to the Canadian wildfires, making them “midwestern” instead. Here was the original strip I posted at the time:
And here’s the rerun version. The first panel was completely written to “In other news… a blanket of black smoke is spreading over much of the midwest this morning, making it seem like twilight during the day!” Maybe it’s still too soon to make fun of Canada?
This is a strange choice, because Canada was only incidental to the story in the first place. Canada was an in-story red herring; the cause of the wildfire in the story was explicitly shown to be Crankshaft’s usual selfish idiocy. The problem would have been solved by just re-wording one panel that wasn’t important to the story… which eventually happened anyway!
Paradoxically, the map in the original story emphasized the fact that this smoke wasn’t happening in Canada, by the clear outline of the Great Lakes you can see in Panel 2 above. In the re-run, this panel is colored differently, in a way that makes the geography less obvious. The Great Lakes are no longer blue, and some weather map symbols have been re-colored, obscuring the recognizable shape of the United States. So it was actually less of a potshot at Canada the first time!
This is like the “no men in the choir” incident. Tom Batiuk went to the trouble of an extensive edit to fix a non-existent problem that could have been easily worded around, or even explained away with no editing required. (The “man” could have easily been a non-choir passerby.) And the edits actually made the problem worse.
So the strip was yanked, delayed, bowdlerized, all of which made it less clear. Note also that the delay was almost exactly the same as Tom Batiuk’s usual lead time: eleven months. It was August 21 of last year and July 29 of this year. Apparently that’s the length of time needed for any edit, even a re-writing of one word zeppelin.
We didn’t cover Crankshaft the week before, because it was a standard Crankshaft week and not worthy of this blog’s attention. Remember, we said at the outset we wouldn’t cover it every week. But this Monday began with the insufferable one-armed Skip Rawlings looking to interview Batton Thomas, at the comic book store. You better believe that’s getting some commentary.
Son of Stuck Funky 
The phrase “wasting heroic means on mean ends” starts to come into play. As the mess with the time helmet teaches us, it’s typical of him to be overly specific when vagueness is preferable.
And to be vague when specificity is called for. He’s always making these broad implications, that we’re expected to take way more specifically than they call for. Like, what exactly happened to Eugene? All he did was row into the middle of lake, something that would be exceptionally difficult for a 96-year-old. (The lowest possible age a WW II veteran could be.)
But I bet Batiuk writes some blog post where he says we’re supposed to infer that this was some hyper-narrow gesture, meant to represent something we never saw happen in the strip.
I wonder how Batty is with his personal life. He seems to thrive on making things more difficult than they need to be. And I wonder if he speaks in this awkward manner where he uses big words he doesn’t understand or his made up words like “ climate damage”. Either way, I think the listener suffers.
Today’s Funky Crankerbean
I’d rather have a single day of Les rambling on about Lisa instead of having a week full of Skip Rawlings and Bummer Batton
Skip Breakfast and Batton Don D’hatches.
The “no men in the choir” incident could have been explained away by the then-still-extant 10-year gap between comics. In Funky, they say the only man in the choir quit years ago. In Crankshaft, which happened years ago relative to Funky, there was a man there. JUST SAY HE WAS THE GUY THAT QUIT YEARS AGO. And that he quit in the interim between the Crankshaft strip and the Funky strip. It ain’t rocket surgery there, Tom.
Of course, THAT’S the “error” that Batiuk felt needed fixing, as opposed to, y’know… everything else.
It’s morbidly fascinating seeing how low this week will sink over in ‘Shaft.
Today the career newspaperman knows nothing about the guy he’s interviewing, a guy whose career was and is creating newspaper content. Ridiculous! Or is it? This is surely based on one of TB’s own experiences…
Anonymous Sparrow from Crazy Quilt
[Why this is hell, nor am I out of it:
Think’st thou that I, who saw the face of God
And tasted the eternal joys of Heaven,
Am not tormented with ten thousand hells
In being deprived of everlasting bliss?
Oh, Faustus! leave these frivolous demands,
Which strike a terror to my fainting soul.
(Christopher Marlowe, *Doctor Faustus*)]
Henry V by William Shakespeare
(lord asking for more men):
What’s he that wishes so?
My cousin Westmoreland? No, my fair cousin:
If we are mark’d to die, we are enow
To do our country loss; and if to live,
The fewer men, the greater share of honour.
God’s will! I pray thee, wish not one man more…
…Such outward things dwell not in my desires:
But if it be a sin to covet honour,
I am the most offending soul alive.
No, faith, my coz, wish not a man from England:
God’s peace! I would not lose so great an honor As one man more, methinks, would share from me. For the best hope I have. O, do not wish one more!
Rather proclaim it, Westmoreland, through my host, That he which hath no stomach to this fight, Let him depart; his passport shall be made
And crowns for convoy put into his purse…
…This day is called the feast of Crispian:
He that outlives this day, and comes safe home,
Will stand a tip-toe when the day is named,
And rouse him at the name of Crispian.
He that shall live this day, and see old age,
Will yearly on the vigil feast his neighbours,
And say ‘To-morrow is Saint Crispian:’
Then will he strip his sleeve and show his scars.
And say ‘These wounds I had on Crispin’s day.’
Old men forget: yet all shall be forgot,
But he’ll remember with advantages
What feats he did that day: then shall our names. Familiar in his mouth as household words: Harry the king, Bedford and Exeter,
Warwick and Talbot, Salisbury and Gloucester…
…Crispin Crispian shall ne’er go by, From this day to the ending of the world, But we in it shall be remember’d; We few, we happy few, we band of brothers; For he to-day that sheds his blood with me Shall be my brother; be he ne’er so vile, This day shall gentle his condition: And gentlemen in England now a-bed Shall think themselves accursed they were not here, And hold their manhoods cheap whiles any speaks That fought with us upon Saint Crispin’s day.
{I understand Be Ware of Eve Hill is quite the thespian. I would enjoy hearing her rendition.
It would send chills!}
SP:
Read this on the day that Theatre for a New Audience announced that its 2024-25 season would include an adaptation of *Henry IV.*
(No, Charlie Brown, I don’t think it will be like drinking diluted root beer, probably more like the condensation L.A. Theatre Works did.)
Your timing is remarkable, and makes me want to cry out a’ sack and babble o’ green fields…
Anonymous Sparrow,
Once more into the breach!
SP:
This time I’ll try to spare the boys and the luggage!
Today’s *Crankshaft* quotes Dorothy Parker, and a search into the quotation Batton Thomas references turns up the fact that Frank Norris wrote something similar when Mrs. Parker was but a child.
Inasmuch as Norris’s *McTeague* strikes me as something Tom Batiuk would find “powerful but extremely depressing” (as W.H. Auden viewed the novels of Raymond Chandler), even if it doesn’t have anyone die of cancer in it, I’m surprised that he doesn’t go with crediting Norris. After all, Parker wrote this poem:
“Resume”
Razors pain you;
Rivers are damp;
Acids stain you;
And drugs cause cramp.
Guns aren’t lawful;
Nooses give;
Gas smells awful;
You might as well live.
Norris, on the other hand, wrote:
“I never truckled. I never took off the hat to Fashion and held it out for pennies. I told them the truth. They liked it or they didn’t like it. What had that to do with me? I told them the truth.”
My friend, Anonymous Sparrow,
One of us is up rather early, or perhaps rather late. ⏰
I am not familiar with Mr. Norris. I must correct that.
Discussions of truth fortunately have gone on forever, and in unusual places:
“Pilate said to him, Then you are a king? Jesus replied, You say, I am a king. I was born for this and for this reason, I came into the world that I would testify about the truth. All who are from the truth, hear my voice.
Pilate said to him, What is truth? Saying this, he went out again to the Jews and said to them, I find no fault in him.”
“Let Friday show you where the smiles are in life.” – Anthony T. Hincks
SP:
Stephen King is a great admirer of Frank Norris.
(And of Theodore Dreiser, invoking *An American Tragedy* in *The Stand.* Norris championed Dreiser’s first novel *Sister Carrie.*)
*McTeague: A Story of San Francisco* was the basis for Erich von Stroheim’s “Greed.” (Perhaps the greatest harshly edited film in history, surpassing even Orson Welles’s “Magnificent Ambersons.”)
L.A. Theatre Works did a reading of the entire novel, which has an all-star cast (Stacy Keach is McTeague, Carol Kane is his wife, Michael York is Old Grannis and Ed Asner is Zerkow).
I always think of Pilate as “Jesting Pilate,” because he would not wait for an answer.
And as “the Procurator of Judea” (because of Anatole France).
Anonymous Sparrow,
“L.A. Theatre Works did a reading of the entire novel, which has an all-star cast (Stacy Keach is McTeague, Carol Kane is his wife, Michael York is Old Grannis and Ed Asner is Zerkow).”
My friend, what a powerhouse lineup!
⭐️Stacy Keach as Frank James in *the Longriders*. Almost every actor has a brother in the cast. It has the absolute best whore actor in Pamela Reed. (She is not a cheap one.)
⭐️Carol Kane whether it’s Latka’s wife, Penguin’s mother, or the Ghost of Christmas Past, I love her!
⭐️Michael York. He is equally adept as Tybalt or John the Baptist. Don’t even get me started on his D’ Artagnan.
⭐️Ed Asner. I believe he is a fellow KC native. He has deep levels of greatness. Lou Grant. UP. But he holds a soft spot in my heart for playing the villain in John Wayne’s El Dorado.
Now I must check out Frank Morris.
Parting is such sweet sorrow.
SP:
In its *Drama Collection,* L.A. Theatre Works also has a reading of Sinclair Lewis’s *Babbitt.* Asner is George F., and he brings home beautifully that while Babbitt is someone to satirize, he isn’t a bad man at all.
“El Dorado” is a fine riff on “Rio Bravo.” It doesn’t have the songs of its predecessor (no Dean Martin, no Ricky Nelson…not even Walter Brennan with “that’s a good ‘un!”), but it does allude to one of my favorite Edgar Allan Poe poems:
Gaily bedight,
A gallant knight,
In sunshine and in shadow,
Had journeyed long,
Singing a song,
In search of Eldorado.
But he grew old—
This knight so bold—
And o’er his heart a shadow—
Fell as he found
No spot of ground
That looked like Eldorado.
And, as his strength
Failed him at length,
He met a pilgrim shadow—
‘Shadow,’ said he,
‘Where can it be—
This land of Eldorado?’
‘Over the Mountains
Of the Moon,
Down the Valley of the Shadow,
Ride, boldly ride,’
The shade replied,—
‘If you seek for Eldorado!’
“Rio Lobo,” Howard Hawks’s last film, returns to the same well, but is the least of the three.
I had the pleasure of seeing Asner onstage some thirty years ago in a reading of the *Don Juan in Hell* sequence from Shaw’s *Man in Superman.* He was the Commander. The other three players were Renee Auberjonois, Dianne Wiest and Harris Yulin.
They were the Second Dramatic Quartet. They took their name from the First Dramatic Quartet who performed the episode in the 1950s, which included (are you ready?):
Charles Boyer, Cedric Hardwicke, Charles Laughton and Agnes Moorehead.
Cosmic coincidence: Michael York was in the 1973 remake of “Lost Horizon” with Charles Boyer. The *MAD* satire finds York lamenting that he was the only star of “Cabaret” who didn’t win an Academy Award (Minnelli and Grey won, as did director Fosse).
(Unlike a certain schoolteacher in Ohio, who…)
(Give it a rest, Les.)
(But, Cayla…)
(Don’t be one of the children left behind, Les.)
What did you call me?! That’s a terrible thing to say! Go wash your mouth out with soap!
Hah, I’m just kidding. I know what it means. My thespian career ended very early in elementary school. My class did a skit for some kind of talent show. We spoofed the joke wall on Rowan & Martin’s Laugh-In. Somewhat racy for fourth-graders, don’t you think?
I never tried out for school musicals because I can’t sing or carry a tune in a bucket. I played clarinet in the fifth-grade band terribly. Mom wouldn’t let me play the drum. In hindsight, I could have been a dancing extra in Oklahoma or Fiddler on the Roof. I was kind of busy with athletics in those days, though.
Speaking of William Shakespeare, I did take both semesters of British Literature (Brit Lit) in high school. The teacher took the class to see the play Hamlet. She was furious when most of us cheered when Hamlet killed Claudius. How gauche.
My class wasn’t as bad as my younger brother’s class whose behavior got the school banned from the Ohio History Center in Columbus.
Be Ware of Eve Hill,
True story if I remember the facts accurately: Down in the old South, a politician won by a landslide when he mentioned that his opponent’s wife was a well known thespian.
I once did one performance for my church. We had costumes, but did not have to memorize. It was a reading play. I am glad I did it.
Tell me again your hs sports, please?
I am guessing basketball and volleyball.
Why did the teacher get furious? Aren’t we supposed to cheer for Hamlet? Or was something rotten in the state of Denmark?
I have seen at least 4 Hamlet films. All are spectacular.
1. Hamlet: Mel Gibson. It takes about 20 minutes to forget it is MG, but once he sees his father’s ghost, he becomes Hamlet.
2. Hamlet: Kenneth Branagh. 4 and one half hours. The complete play. Spectacular.
3. Hamlet 2000: Ethan Hawke, Julia Styles, Bill Murray. (Yes. That Bill Murray!) Modern day. Takes place in NYC.
4. Rosencrantz and Guildenstern are Dead. Your favorite Gary Oldman and Tim Roth. Two minor characters from the play that describes their action in between their scenes. Not knowing they are doomed. I say: they are doomed!
[My daughter and I try to watch Shakespeare plays either in theatre and on TV. 📺
🩷💖🧡🫂🌺💐🌹
My sports? You were close. Basketball, volleyball and softball all four years. Cross-country one year.
My Brit Lit teacher was upset because she thought it made her appear as if she couldn’t control her students. To her, cheering wasn’t accepted and appropriate behavior. It was a professional performance.
Of course, I’ve seen Rosencrantz and Guildenstern are Dead.
The only cinematic version of Hamlet I’ve seen was the one with Laurence Olivier. Ditto Richard III.
Be Ware of Eve Hill,
I am so glad you mentioned Richard III. I also saw that version. I love the concept of a fascist England in 1939. Awesome. Great actors. I am not checking, but if memory serves Robert Downey Jr is in the film. I don’t remember seeing Owen Wilson, so I think you are WRONG about seeing him.
But as for the film or play itself…one of the worst Shakespeare plays of all time. I would rather watch someone’s husband polish ammo all day long than sit through that movie again. I may adjust that last comment. King Leer is the absolute worst Shakespeare film. It even had Sir Patrick Stewart as Leer. It still sucked. (I hope you used a proper Brit accent when you pronounced the Captain’s real name.)
My personal favorite is Henry V. It matches my opinion of you: absolute perfection. (I am sure Mr. BWOEH seconds my opinion. However, he might ask me to adjust my parameters!)
You think I could enjoy a movie with Owen Wilson in it? That is so cute. LOL
Well, I probably could watch the Owen’s death scene in the remake of The Haunting on an endless loop.
Oh. no! Watch out! Yah! Spitooie!
Deathie. Heh heh heh. 💀 😈
It takes a sick, twisted mind to revel in the demise of the film’s central character like Owen. That’s why we both enjoy SOSF. It takes a certain type of humor to read TB daily. We’ve got it!
You are loved!
I stand corrected. I’ve seen the Richard III version with Ian McKellen. That one was… um… er… different. The story was based in a fictitious timeline of England in the late 1930s.
I suspect we may be in the “Denial” stage of grief about Crankshaft, as I’ve seen a couple of “this week” references regarding the Batton storyline. People, it’s Thursday…they’ve exchanged two sentences…this is going to be a three-week m*****-f*****.
And yet…what if Skip Rawlings is an associate of Time Mop…and he is here to confide in Batton and only Batton (who better? Why bother going to the UN when you have a retired comic strip writer from Ohio?) that…soon there are going to be…some Burnings…
(Is anyone else REALLY looking forward to The Burnings? We don’t need no water….)
I’m looking forward to ANYTHING AT ALL happening. Having said that, I imagine The Burnings is going to be a big nothing-burger anyway. It’s very Batiukian to spend three weeks setting up three weeks of nothing.
Yeah, I think Batiuk has some grand idea about “The Burnings”. But when he eventually gets around to it, he’ll realize it’s not much of anything, and rather than working it out, he’ll just slink away.
He might have some grand idea, but in order to write a “grand idea” requires writing a lot of smaller details, and he just can’t do that.
My guess is that The Burnings will somehow involve a Crankshaft BBQ. But whatever it turns out to be, I know it will adhere to the immutable law of Batiuk: it will be not only be more boring and stupid than I predict, it will be more boring and stupid than I can predict.
It always starts as “grand idea” then always ends with “more boring and stupid than anyone could predict.”
Batiuk is an Idea Person. That’s not a compliment. IT means he’s the kind of pretentious, self-important person who think he’s a genius because he has lofty ideas. But he has zero ability to actually bring them to life. (SEE ALSO: Musk, Elon.)
I’m in between the “acceptance” and “despair” stages of grief about Crankshaft at this point
“I love writing and I hate having written”? What the fuck is this shit?
1. In typical Batiuk writing, it is unsolvable and unfathomable. Batiuk will never say.
2. Yet I shall try. But anybody’s guesses are as good as mine.
*He loves writing, but hates already saying what he has said. The joy of coming up with something original is short lived.
*somewhat analogous to : “Having your cake and eat it too”. [Years ago, Archie Comics did a bit about a guy inventing a Time Machine to keep
re-eating his cake.]
Who is next trying to interpret?
Came across as an unintentional bit of truth to me, wrapped up in TB’s typical bloviating while he flails about trying to write something profound.
TB’s love of writing is clear by his enormous output, 50+ years, 3 different comic strips, 30,000+ individual strips written and published. The guy loves writing so much it’s probably not even like a job to him…
…which is probably why he hates “having written”, because have you read this stuff? In seriousness, TB looks back at his old work a lot, but never for nostalgia or fan service, never in appreciation of the job and life it has given him. No, he’s always looking back because he wants to add something, to reframe something, to retcon something. He looks back to try and make himself and his readers believe that his past writing matched his current sensibilities, his current sense of importance. Heck, he couldn’t even leave Lisa’s story alone. Oh yeah, he hates having written.
It’s like Orson Welles’ infamous assessment of Woody Allen, “He hates himself, and he loves himself, a very tense situation.”
Seemed like unintentional truth to me too, but for a different reason. I think it’s another tacit admission that Funky Winkerbean was cancelled by the syndicate, and Tom Batiuk is still bitter about that. “I love writing in the present tense, but I hate it in the past tense.” He’s saying that wishes he was still writing Funky Winkerbean – in what is basically a Funky Winkerbean strip he’s running as Crankshaft. It just never ends.
Yup, that’s how I interpreted it too. Tom’s bitter that his magnum opus ended, and he wouldn’t be bitter if it were his own choice.
Today’s Funky Crankerbean
What the HELL is this nonsense?
I know this is kind of irrelevant, but it really really annoys me that TB bangs on about ‘climate damage’ and also trivializes wildfires – is it because they’re mostly across the border from him? I’m Canadian, and we have one (contained but not over) a few kilometres away right now. Jasper, an important transportation hub & tourist destination, is going to take years to recover, and heck, the historic town of Lytton was completely destroyed pretty recently. Wildfire ‘season’ starts earlier every year.
But hey, as the Beaverton (Canada’s Onion) put it, let’s take comfort that the fossil fuel industry is still profitable. And TB can take comfort that his comic books are being shipped promptly and his characters can fly their private jets all over the States.
Sorry, just wanted to vent. People freaking die fighting wildfires.
Don’t worry, there’s always heroes and hopeful stories in wildfires; just ask the nice author who helped save an actress and get away to the safety of a yacht and bonded over her being perfect after all to play holy St Lisa in an Oscar-winning (and handover-ing) role. Or the old man who survived with his ghostly child self in a cave with the possible help of the secret underground kingdom of Muriana itself!
It was researched to be accurate too!
One minute he’s gazing into his navel that climate damage will kill us all, then climate damage is serious because it’s delaying his comic books, then it’s, then climate damage is a humorous side effect of Crankshaft’s wacky hijinks. And of course he wants awards and asspats for all three.
He doesn’t love writing.
MONDAY: (guy walks into Montoni’s) “Hi, I’m here to interview Batsin Belfry for the paper.” Batsin: “That’s me!” That removes the Weds and Tues strips; cut to Thu.
But Noooo, this has to be EXACTLY 6 to 18 days long. I’m surprised he didn’t show them saying “Pepperoni! Just like we ordered!” after carefully depicting the 20 minute wait for it to be made.
He doesn’t love writing. He loves padding.
Tom Batiuk doesn’t love writing. Tom Batiuk loves *being* a writer. He has no interest in the art itself. He’s interested in declaring himself a writer, and sitting back to receive all the adulation he thinks he deserves because of that declaration.
In fact I’ve rarely encountered anyone with LESS interest in writing than Tom Batiuk. He doesn’t even care enough to make his personal blog posts make any sense, or be about anything of interest. He immediately loses interest in anything he starts. Even his comic book posts seem boring and forced, and fail to say anything beyond “I like comic books.”
In most countries, a standard Small Talk At Parties thing is to ask “What do you do?” In Europe or Japan, they start talking about their personal interests and hobbies. Apparently, only in the USA do they tell you their job. As if that’s your whole identity.
Thing I’ve always assumed: Tom says “A published writer!” Thing I’ve always wondered, what does he say when they reply “Oh! What have you written?” I can’t picture him saying “A comic strip. It was called Funky Winkerbean.” It’s probably “Lisa’s Story. It was a PULITZER PRIZE nomination!” His stomach must sink when that person whips out their phone and says “Oh, let me check that out!” (Google pings) “…Oh. THAT.”
Tom: “But I do BOOK SIGNINGS!!”
What “20 minute wait” for pizza? It only takes 2 1/2 to 4 minutes to microwave a Celeste Pizza for One, depending on the wattage of the oven.
Tom’s mental wattage isn’t that high.
Related to the Batiukverse: more Act II strips
Rat: I’M GONNA BEAT YOUR ASS WITH THE SPINE I TORE OUT OF THAT SMUG WRITER FRIEND OF YOURS!!!!
Ally’s first appearance in FW
The last ever mention of Ally Roberts-Reynolds in the Batiukverse
This one strip gave me the incredibly stupid headcanon that Ally is adopted
Oh yeah, the Blondie 75th Anniversary. That was quite an achievement, I hear. Seems CBR did a decent summary on it.
Wonder if Funky was ever on the cards to take part in that collab or not. With Batiuk’s established 11-month strip buffer, I could see him having written that after seeing the arc run and wondering why/bemused that he was overlooked. Either way, another amusing example of how Tom was willing to tie the Funkyverse into the world of time-drifting, long-running strips like Hi & Lois and Dick Tracy that makes the quarter-inch from reality look a little silly.
I think Tom was complaining that FW wasn’t invited 1 year after the Blondie Anniversary
Stephan Pastis (the man behind Pearls before Swine) did a week about it in 2005
You know, for all the complaints about Dan Davis not doing any of the artwork, I’d be willing to bet that very little of the artwork in these strips is by Tom Batiuk.
Chuck Ayers was the artist of Funky Winkerbean since 1994 until his brief retirement in 2017, did a handful of strips in 2017 and 2018, and then did the artwork full time from 2019 until the 2022 christmas strip
Ayers was credited since 2017 strips
Today’s Funky Crankerbean
Batton Thomas/Tom Batiuk: Lately, I’ve had almost zero motivation to do this strip, and the hack who calls himself a artist, Dan Davis, isn’t EVEN USING HIS OWN FUCKING ARTWORK FOR THE WRINKLES!
Related to the Batiukverse: Even more FW/CS edits
Drunk Funky: 2015 New Years Edition
Fun Fact: I was going to make this into a series parody of Breaking Bad, but I got lost interest
X: I’M GOING TO COUNT TO TEN. ONE. TWO. THREE. FOUR. FIVE. SIX. SEVEN. EIGHT. NINE. TEN. READY OR NOT, HERE I COME!
I just dont get Bridgerton
Pete: I already translated it.
Darin: What does it say?
Pete: It says “There is a way to release ourselves. A spell to obtain our souls once more. But we must speak it — but when we speak — No sound. We are all deaf. So failure is inevitable. And I regret ever entering my internal bet with the devil inside of me. Immortality vs. soul snatching. Gary Crook vs. Jake Shanley. Ambition is overrated.” Darin, SHUT OFF THE PC!
(a hand reaches from Darin’s labtop)