This past week of Crankshaft was so bad, I had to write two posts about it. The first post was here. This second one will focus on the alleged joke-writing. Beware, the comedy disconnects are everywhere.
A comedy disconnect happens when a writer sacrifices reality and ideas in pursuit of a laugh. Tom Batiuk doesn’t really sacrifice reality and ideas; he never introduces them in the first place. We’ll soon see how.
The joke in last Monday’s Crankshaft was basically:
Q. Why did the chicken cross the road?
A. The chicken already crossed the road two months ago, won an essay contest, got a check, and appeared on the front page of the newspaper because it’s such a good writer. And that’s not the chicken! It traded places with another chicken!
Emily’s previous visit two months ago ended with her getting an A on her school assignment, and saying goodbye to Skip. It felt like a self-contained, one-week story. Now she’s back at the newspaper office, with no intervening explanation, and three other new pieces of information to digest. The strip is already a confusing mess.
Batiuk seems to be aiming for an in medias res opening. This is when you begin in the middle of the story, and the exposition is filled in as you go, usually through flashbacks. But this story ambushes you with four different things that make no sense, contradict past stories, and don’t add up to anything new.
Tuesday’s strip is almost anti-humor:
Q. Why did you change places with your twin sister?
A. No reason!
Skip asks a reasonable question, which seemed designed to set up the delayed exposition I mentioned. Instead, the twins spew a banal answer that doesn’t even address the question, or work as a standalone joke.
This is another common tactic of Batiuk’s: the punchline being a complete de-escalation of the joke. This isn’t anti-humor, because it’s not playing with the structure of a joke. It mimics the structure of a joke, but there’s nothing about the punchline that is surprising enough to be a joke. Nor does is subvert the setup enough to mark the endeavor as anti-humor. I call these anti-punchlines. The whole thing is a non-joke pretending it’s a joke, and not fooling anyone. (Except the syndicates who pay for this sub-amateur dreck.)
In real life, identical twins are known for swapping places with each other and seeing who notices. It would have been interesting to learn more about their motives. But when Batiuk’s writing occasionally touches on a genuinely interesting topic, he drops it like it’s a hot potato.
Amelia and Emily’s explanation is also baffling. How does it maximize the use of a twin’s time to do things that their twin is supposed to do? Instead of just doing one person’s work, you’d be doing half of two peoples’ work. So it’s the same total workload. And it would actually be less efficient, because you’d be doing tasks that were tailored to your twin’s skill set, not yours.
What was even the point of the swap? If they were going for comedy, they walked away from the prank in the middle of it working. If you switch places with your twin, and someone hands you a check that was intended for them, that’s a dream outcome! You say “thank you very much” and head straight to the bank, while your twin has to break the charade if they want to get paid. It’s a great backfire. But they both break character immediately, for no reason. Batiuk is such a bad comedy writer, he can’t even write characters who can do comedy correctly.
There was never any underlying reality to any of this. Emily had no reason for being back at Skip’s office. Amelia had even less reason to be there. The twins had no reason for swapping places. Neither twin did anything with the opportunity it presented. Everyone took on predetermined roles, as if this were a Saturday Night Live skit. Which would be fine, if Batiuk would commit to that. Or if the whole performance resembled humor in any way, instead of just acting like it is.
Wednesday’s strip is so bad, I don’t even have a mocking parallel for it. Emily asks Skip if he needs another reporter. We know he could use one, because Skip told Emily during her first visit that he works alone despite older than Jimmy Carter was, and missing an arm. When he resists, she replays his voice saying “you’re a good writer, Emily.” I have no idea what this is supposed to prove about Emily. But it proves something about Tom Batiuk.
This underlying assumption is that Skip saying the words “you’re a good writer, Emily” obligates him to hire her. This is how Tom Batiuk thinks the world works. Being declared a “good writer” is the only thing that matters. You should then be able to walk into any place of employment, announce your presence, and wait for them to start throwing money at you.
You can see this attitude in the many book publishing stories over the years. And, in his blog posts about interviewing at DC and Marvel. His old blog at funkywinkerbean.com had a howler of a story, where he thought he’d immediately promoted to head writer of Spider-Man because he was such a good writer. Sadly, this post didn’t survive the move to tombatiuk.com.
Anyone who’s ever had a job knows this isn’t how things work. There are plenty of reasons to not hire a qualified person. Emily may not be skilled at news writing, which has its own style. She may not have the people skills needed to be a reporter. The company may not have the budget for additional staff and benefits. They may prefer to avoid the limitations a high schooler would bring to an adult job.
On the plus side, at least this gives us some much-needed backstory. Of course, Batiuk screws that up too. Here’s what should have happened on Thursday:
Q. What headline would you write for a movie director who hints at what inspired him?
A. Trick question. It’s not a local story.
In the other article, I outlined the disconnect of the newspaper’s constantly changing purpose and priorities. But if it’s true that Emily is seeking a full-time job at a place where she once interned, this is exactly the kind of question she’d get in an interview – for a completely different reason than in the story. They’d want to see if she was paying attention during the internship, and understands the newspaper’s style and guidelines. Rule #1 of any media job is “don’t break format.”
But this just is another Sticks Nick Hick Pix joke. For some reason, Tom Batiuk loves things from 1935. I can’t wait to hear his take on the dust bowl. Though he’ll probably give us that year’s Grey Cup instead. First Grey Cup win by a team west of Ontario! (Who knows? Maybe this is the whole reason he became a fan.)
Yes, a newspaper interview might ask you to write a sample headline. But it would be for a realistic story, not a bizarrely specific hypothetical scenario the newspaper would never report on anyway. And they’d also want a sample story, not just a headline.
Which is yet another comedy disconnect. Skip seems to be challenging Emily to create the witty headline he’s already come up with for the situation, as if this were Match Game. He’s looking for someone who thinks exactly like him, which of course is the only correct way to think. Once again, the attitude of Funkyverse characters is never far from Batiuk’s actual attitude.
Besides, Batiuk missed a way this joke could have worked. Just make it a local story the newspaper really would cover, and tie it to some Funkyverse lore:
Q. Let’s say you had to write a news story about a local writer whose behavior interfered with the production of a movie, and was starting to irritate people.
A. “Les Mess”
By the way, Emily’s supposedly-good headline “Muse News Clues In Previews” sucks. “News” is a noun, so I have no idea what’s modifying what in that sentence. “Clues” could be a noun or a verb, but it makes no sense either way. Removing the word “News” entirely would help, but Batiuk’s attitude shines through again. He thinks editing is something only lower lifeforms do. And it wouldn’t rhyme with itself enough times to be funny, I guess.
Friday’s strip is even worse. It sounds even more like Skip has already thought up the oh-so-witty headline for this oh-so-contrived story, and is delighted when Emily gives the correct answer. He immediately hires her… I think? I honestly can’t tell if this is just a bunch of vaudeville jokes and Skip is merely exclaiming in approval, or if this is a major lore development and Emily now works for Centerville Sentinel. Could you tell the difference?
This is another symptom of Batiuk’s inability to convey tone in his writing. You never know what developments will turn out to be important. Maybe Emily joins the newspaper staff; maybe this week is never mentioned again. Most likely scenario: she’ll turn up again in several months with a whole new set of details the story never explains either.
Q. What’s the most important thing in comedy?
Saturday‘s strip feels like something got pulled. Crankshaft stopped in the middle of a writer showing off their wit, to do a sports joke. This is not Batiuk’s usual set of priorities. Did the third funny headline get cancelled, or could Skip only think of two funny headlines? Do none of these “good writers” know the rule of three?
Also, this is the worst possible time of year for a “transfer portal” joke. It was four days after the college football season ended, and in the middle of college basketball season. If this is a replacement strip, such strips need to be evergreens. There should be nothing time-sensitive about them, so they can replace a strip on short notice. Also, Batiuk famously produces his comic strips 11 months in advance. Wasn’t there a better choice for a one-off strip that could have been rotated to today?
The sad thing is: this is by far the best joke of the week. It’s what I call a “slow white Bronco” joke: the kind of witty topical observation that’s so obvious that it occurs to many people at once. Which is not to say it’s good; it merely meets the standard of a newspaper comic joke.
Sunday’s strip is a self-contained story with Crankshaft and family, featuring this joke:
Q. I enjoyed that TV show!
A. I think I’ll make some wings!
Sunday is also full of internal disconnects. The dialog, and the remote control pictured in the splash panel, imply that they’re binge-watching a series on DVD. But the on-screen credits say “up next”, which would appear during a live TV broadcast, not a DVD. Is this more recycled art?
The facial expressions aren’t consistent with anything the people are saying either. In the original strip, Pam is saying “is that the last episode?” as if she’s worried that the TV show ended. I made a coherent joke out of it by re-ordering the panels, referencing Funkyverse lore, and changing her line to make the art fit the story a lot better.
Ed can’t microwave a Hot Pocket without making the bomb squad run to his house. It his primary character trait. Pam and Jeff should be running for their hazmat gear, not smirking at something that isn’t even a joke. Especially when Ed’s facial expression suggests anger, not something Pam and Jeff should be smirking at.
This whole week has been a mess. And look what’s happening today! It’s finally week three of the Batton Thomas interview! Oh goody!
Son of Stuck Funky 
Today’s Funky Crankerbean (I thought we were done with the Invasion)
NO NOT BATTON AGAIN
Related to the Batiukverse:
ME WHEN I FINALLY SEE FUNKY WINKERBEAN ON GO COMICS: LET’S FUCKING GOOOOOOOO
ME REALIZING THAT IT’S ONLY THE FINAL YEAR AND A HANDFUL OF STRIPS FROM ACT I: My disappointment is immeasurable and my day is ruined
NEVERMIND EVERY SINGLE FUNKY WINKERBEAN COMIC IS ON THE GOCOMICS SITE
Yes, the first strip is on 3/27/1972. The last strip is on 12/31/2022. The strip starts over again on 3/27/2023.
Seems like they had to work out the technical details most of the day, but by the end it’s all there. Time, as they say, is a flat circle.
Now we are left to ponder why we’re getting the greyscale versions. Was the color supplied by (and somehow still owned by) the syndicate? If the strip archive starts B&W it’s all going to stay that way?
Better or worse? Hmmm
Timemop erased the colors from their lives?
From what i’ve seen so far, the Sunday strips have color.
It looks to me as if he’s going to make a mess of showing why students are cloddish.
Epic rant, BJr6K. Epic. And so well expressed. 👏👏👏
I had a different interpretation of Sunday’s “make some wings” comic: They’re watching some series on a streaming service like Netflix. “Up Next” appears on the screen to encourage viewers to keep watching.
They’ve all gotten into a couch-potato mode and are gonna just run with it, streaming the next season. The wings are going into the oven because the gang is gonna be on the sofa for a long time and will need some sustenance.
It’s moderately successful; at least it’s on a theme that will make most people nod their heads in recognition. I also appreciate that, for once, someone other than the little lady/scullery maid of the house actually lifts a finger to prepare food.
That’s a valid interpretation. I’ll add it to the post.
But cooking wings doesn’t match the time commitment they all made. How long do wings take to cook, 30 minutes? A season of American TV is several hours long. If they agreed to watch one more episode, or said something like “start on Season 2”, that would work. Instead, the story has yet another disconnect within itself, exposing its artificiality.
Another irritation that rankled me about the brief “headline writer” arc:
In NYC, when I was growing up, there were a large number of tabloids and broadsheets on every newsstand. The broadsheets, like the NY Times and the Wall Street Journal, didn’t have “clever” headlines. The tabloids competed with each other, though, so they would strive for the catchiest, most compelling headline. The NY Post was the undisputed king, but the Daily News might beat them on any given day.
But in small towns, there’s usually only one newspaper (if any). We’ve already heard at length that the Sentinel is the only game in town for Centerville.
And small-town newspapers almost never have tabloid-style headlines. They don’t need to. They’re not competing to catch someone’s eye on a very cluttered newsstand (or news feed, today).
The typical headline in a small-town paper will be something like: “Rezoning Proposal Threatens Planned Library Repairs,” not “REZONE MOAN: COOKS BOOK NOOK.”
As if we needed to learn once again that Skip is an eldritch entity made solely of smirks held together with smugness, masquerading unconvincingly as a Crusading Reporter Stickin’ It to the Man.
Again, there’s just no underlying truth to anything in the Funkyverse. Bloom County had a newspaper Milo Bloom supposedly worked for. It was mainly a launching pad for jokes about politics and writing. But it felt real. It felt like a real small-town paper, which is what the Sentinel supposedly is. It didn’t reinvent itself every five minutes for a dumb joke. And it had enough staff to exist in the first place.
The Bloom Picayune! Now that newspaper had writers!
One of the reasons for the fact that this ridiculous jokey “newspaper” felt real was one you recently touched on: Consistency of tone.
Skip Toomaloo can be a deeply serious, Erin Brockovich-style underdog crusading against New York hedge fund juggernauts no matter what it costs him….
Or he can be a moronic cut-up who thinks serving Centerville means smirkingly tossing out contrived phony news stories and hoping that one of the Shining Twins will guess the correct “clever” headline.
He can’t comfortably be both.
And speaking of Batiuk’s Gun, we’re still waiting to see what happened after the hedge fund tycoon bellowed that he’d see Skip Bittman in court. Apparently Skippy Chunky isn’t too worried. He’s just smirking his way through life, enjoying his stolen newspaper, heedless of the billionaire’s rageful legal threat.
(What really should have, and would have, happened: The hedge fund padlocks the office. Skip is arrested for trespassing when he tries to break in through the window. The hedge fund sells anything worth selling and shuts down the worthless business. ~FIN~)
Speaking of disconnects: Batiuk loves to show his characters taking on big, bad New York or Hollywood, where they win every single conflict against the so-called elites. Because, somehow, the elites are just as dumb and passive as the yokels in exurban Ohio.
Real New Yorkers and Californians wouldn’t tolerate Skip Rawlings or Les Moore for 10 seconds. A film studio and an evil hedge fund would have strong security to keep out paparazzi and disgruntled employees, respectively. Once either of them started making demands, they would be ejected by security.
As you noted, the hedge fund would simply deactivate Skip’s badge and computer login, because any office job since about 2006 comes with a badge and a computer login. And Skip’s drive back to Ohio means they have hours to lock him out. Realistically, there’s no way Skip could even commit a crime against this hedge fund or the newspaper. Unless he throws a rock through the window – and that’s going to be difficult with one arm.
Even if you could invent a scenario where Les got a second chance at Hollywood after what he pulled, the studio would have paid him for the rights and told him to fuck off. He would not be flown out and put in a fancy hotel so he can hang around and pout at everything he doesn’t like. He would not have implied veto power over the movie because “he has to protect Lisa.” A realistic school system wouldn’t have tolerated his behavior in the Fahrenheit 451 arc. Much less a film project with an 8-figure budget after he’s already torpedoed one.
This is all just Batiuk’s revenge fantasy. The comic book and movie industries simply didn’t need him, and he can’t deal with that. Or let it go. So you get these stories where his Mary Sue character waltzes into some bigshot’s office like he’s Saul Goodman, and starts barking orders at people because he’s the writer. Or he “outwits” them, by announcing his dumb schemes like a Scooby Doo villain, while his victims do nothing in response.
The Bloom Picayune was also intentionally presented as a muckraking rag devoid of journalistic ethics, for the sake of humor*. (Kind of like how Crankshaft was about an intentionally terrible sociopathic bus driver, exaggerated for humorous effect.) Skip and the Centerville Sentinel are being presented as somehow the moral crusaders protecting truth and liberty, despite being, you know, absolutely crap on every conceivable level.
*(There are several Bloom County strips I can recite from memory. Like the one where Senator Bedfellow calls up Milo to berate him about their latest edition. “There’s no story, just a headline.” “What’s it say?” “BEDFELLOW: SECRET LIFE OF A WIFE-SWAPPING ATHEIST” “Oh, that’s just a typo.” The Picayune would go for the sensationalist headlines – even when they didn’t have a story to go with it – but… well, again, they weren’t a particularly ethical publication.)
I could possibly see a scenario in which a small-time one-sheeter like the Sentinel might go for more sensational headlines, though. Like, if, say, some big city hedge fund bought the paper and thought they could somehow increase its circulation via lurid content. It might be a stretch, but it could probably be made to work. But, y’know… Batiuk. (It might also come across like the Daily Planet subplot in Superman IV: The Quest for Peace, only really terrible – yes, I know that’s not a comparison one normally makes with Superman IV – but still.)
Yeah, the Bloom Picayune served a narrative purpose. Atomix Komix has no reason to exist in this world, beyond Batiuk’s own wish fulfillment.
I almost wish Batiuk would have gotten that DC or Marvel job, so he could have learned that it’s nothing at all like his 7-year-old brain imagined it. There never was any “bullpen” – people worked from home and mailed in their submissions, like you’d expect. The idea that the artists all goofed around in the same building was a clever bit of marketing from Stan Lee. Batiuk would have had no editorial control over anything, he would have to follow a style guide, and he would not be allowed to screw off all day like Flash, Phil, Darin and Pete do.
Who knows? Maybe the experience would have broken his obsession with comic books, and we’d live in a universe with a much better Funky Winkerbean.
he thought he’d immediately promoted to head writer of Spider-Man
At the time, I thought that might be a Shatneresque poke at his own ego. I don’t think that anymore.
Self-deprecation only works if you’re honest about your own flaws. That’s how people like Shatner, Adam West, Rob Lowe, and Patrick Stewart made a whole second career out of self-deprecation. They’re willing to have fun with the world’s perception of themselves, even when it’s uncomfortable.
Batiuk can’t even take an honest look at his own work, much less his own life. He must be in complete control of everything at all times. Everything went exactly the way he planned it, and if something failed, it was for some external reason. Like when he blamed poor sales of Lisa’s Story on the book coming out a year later, and “the heat of the story arc had pretty much dissipated.” He can’t admit that he simply overestimated the demand for a rambling, pointless story about an unlikeable character passively dying, while her even more unlikeable husband was too paralyzed with indecision to do anything useful.
Batiuk knows what self-deprecation is, and that it’s something he should do. But he can’t commit to the introspection it requires. So like everything else, he mimics the style without understanding what makes it work.
We’ll probably get more phony self-deprecation from Batton Thomas this week. “Oh, I wasn’t a very good art teacher at all!” Which may be true, but isn’t relevant. You’ll notice “Batton” had absolutely nothing about to say about *why* these comic book companies didn’t hire him. Or why he never tried again. Or why he couldn’t apply at a smaller publisher. Or self-publish. Or take some art and writing classes. Or work to improve his portfolio. Or simply move on with his life. Nope, he buries you in details about his 1973 trip to New York, with the implication that was all some kind of cosmic injustice.
I was reminded of Batiuk earlier this week when I thought about “The First Rule of Writing” that a brilliant writing professor of mine coined. You’d think the first rule would be something like “write every day” or “at least 50% of writing is in the rewriting”, but it wasn’t.
It was “Every day, get dressed.” This was directed at professional writers, btw.
And what it meant was that if you loafed around in your pajamas or bathrobe all day, the fact that writing can be an isolating profession can lead to you disconnecting from your community. You stop observing people. You slowly become unable to distinguish appropriate from inappropriate behavior and dialogue. Never mind the more obvious psychological effects. So every day, get dressed, so you don’t have that excuse to become a shut-in.
I thought that Batiuk, if not literally, figuratively at least violated this rule. His career enabled him to disconnect from his wider community in significant ways, and it prevented him from being able to write convincing character actions, motivations and dialogue. He doesn’t do any of that well, because he doesn’t get out in public, or even socially, often enough to watch how people act. So when he tries to present “normal” behavior, it’s off because he no longer is able to distinguish what normal is to an average person.
Just another way a guy like Batiuk invades my every day life.
I’ve heard the same advice for work-at-home people. Like much of the world, I had to work from home in 20-21, and it was hard to keep the proper focus. I like to keep my work and home lives separate, and home has too many distractions anyway. So I started dressing as if I were going to the office; I found this helped quite a bit.
And I 100% agree with your thesis. In improv, we called this “being in your own head.” I’m an introverted, self-isolating person by nature. I had to train myself to more social, for the reasons you listed. I wouldn’t say I’m good at it, but I think I’ve become adequate. It’s given me a much better sense of how human beings think, act and communicate, which has all kinds of positive downstream effects on my life.
The world of Funky Winkerbean very much reflects Batiuk’s own ideas of how he wants the world to work, rather than how it actually works. Which would be fine, if Batiuk wasn’t so convinced of his “quarter inch from reality” nonsense. Not only do all the main characters have the same peculiar interests he does, but they behave in ways that simply would not be tolerated by other people. He’s also too lazy to research topics like CTE, PTSD, alcoholism, grieving, racism, and other things he’s ham-handedly depicted in the strip in a transparent push for awards.
At least today we have Batton/TB admitting what we’ve known for years, that he hates children.
Still, a week of Batton?
Bloom County had consistency of tone, despite being highly absurd at times. But that’s what good tone does for you. Your world doesn’t have to be realistic; you just have to honor its rules.
Terminator 2 did this well. The liquid metal terminator was mind-bendingly powerful, but it had certain limitations. Which the story adhered to, and did a good job of explaining to the audience.
Batiuk, on the other hand, claims to have a realistic world. But unrealistic things happen there all the time, with no explanation. A dead person calls in a bomb threat, and a band director’s hearing miraculously returns, and nobody ever notices that these would be odd occurences in a realistic world.
Pushing Cranky awards back a day or two so we all can fully enjoy the glory of this beautiful rant.
No worries CBH. We appreciate your efforts!
Once again, in another Skip and Batton week that nobody wanted in the first place, Tom avoids anything that looks like a joke.
The illustration of Batton’s life as an arts and crafts teacher depicts him standing amid a group of … happy, smiling kids. And this is supposed to illustrate how it motivated him to get out of teaching and get into cartooning?
Here is my rewrite of the strip to find something resembling a joke.
Panel 1:
Skip: “Batton, I’ve heard that you used to teach arts and crafts at a local elementary school. How did that go?”
Panel 2:
Batton: “Let’s just say that in terms of my cartooning aspirations … it was very motivational.”
Panel 3:
A wordless sepia-tone panel with Batton as a teacher and children spilling paint and otherwise making a mess in the art room.
I noticed that today’s Crankshaft re-uses a face he’s re-used at least twice already:
In fact, I think the the whole third panel is identical to August 20 above, other than the word balloon.
Today’s Funky Crankerbean
MAKE THE BORING STOP
I’D RATHER HAVE DINKLE OR DICK FACEY BUT NOT BORING BUMMER BATTON THIMAS
shit i misspelled Batton’s surname
His name is Chief Batton Batiuk.
Socrates: “The unexamined life is not worth living.”
Batiukes: “The unretconned life is not as cool as mine! Did I tell you about the time I applied to Marvel and DC, but they said I was too good a writer?!”
Everyone at the family gathering either ignores this, or looks at their phone. Except a pair of relatives who’ve suffered through the story longer than they can count. One whispers to the other, “When he started telling this 50 years ago, didn’t he apply to Dell and Charlton?”
Tom: “Then I went on a date with the model for Gwen Stacy! She was a short skinny blond movie star!”
Other relative whispers back, “Well, THAT’S a new addition.” They nod. “You know what’s coming…”
“And then I won the OSCAR for COMIC STRIPS!”
Tom: “Then I went on a date with the model for Gwen Stacy! She was a short skinny blond movie star!”
…and then she DIED!
“…and then she DIED!”
The CHARACTER, not the actress! Ms Winters was fine after she fell off of the Hollywood sign. She landed on a pile of 1940s comic books, mint condition! She gave them to Tom.
When Tom was the head writer of Spider-Man, his “Death of Gwen Stacy” arc was legendary. The Green Goblin flew past her, and the fumes from the exhaust gave her cancer. She died 32 years and 900 issues later.
The Gwen Stacy arc in Spider-Man wasn’t long after Batiuk’s interview, so that could have actually happened.
Today’s Funky Crankerbean
NOT THE DREADED SIDEWAYS STRIP
Sorry Tom, not reading or even doing more than glancing at a sideways strip. Go F yourself.
(1) A sideways strip during a
(2) Batton Thomas week at
(3) Montoni’s where they
(4) talk about comics?
If the ghost of Lisa shows up, or suddenly they’re at the OMEA conference, I’ve got a winning Batiuk bingo card!
OMEA is always held in February, so check back next month! (2/6 – 2/8)
It is in Cleveland this year so Batty will surely attend!
I wonder what band directors think of Batiuk’s constant presence, at what’s basically their work convention. Especially since Dinkle is only a minor presence in the comic strip anymore. And here’s there every single year. I’m sure any OMEA member who ever wanted a goddam Funky Winkerbook bought it years ago.
Yeah, a convention will rent a booth to almost anyone who wants one, and I’m sure Funky Winkerbean books aren’t the dumbest product on the floor. But sheesh, how low can he possibly aim? This is a nationally syndicated comic strip, and should have a much larger, more general audience. His presence at Akron Comic-Con makes a lot more sense, though he could probably aim a little higher there too. I think some artist like Stephen Patsis do San Diego and other big conventions.
Stephen Pastis is funny, though. Pretty consistently. He would be a draw at a convention.
Can’t say any of those things about Batiuk.
I read somebody’s account of meeting Patsis at a convention. They said he was super fun, and very willing to sign things and pose for pictures.
What do actual band directors think of Batiuk’s constant presence?
* Any band director under the age of 40 has no idea who he is, isn’t aware of his presence, and couldn’t possibly care less if Batiuk attends OMEA or not.
* Band directors between 40 and 60 may have a vague idea who he is. They are bemused and a little saddened by the constant presence of a has-been who never really was, but the fees he pays for the booth probably help keep the conference running, so they just let it happen. Besides, it’s easy enough to avoid him unless he’s beside a booth they REALLY need to see in the merchant area. Even then, they realize that they’ll probably be okay if they keep their head low, and approach the target booth from the opposite direction.
* Band leaders over 60 remember when Harry Dinkle was a thing. “Man, that guy’s still beating that particular dead horse, eh?”, they think, passing his booth. “Geez, what next? Has Kip Adotta got a stand here selling his records of fish puns? Maybe there’s a pet rock booth over in the next aisle? Eesh. I thought maybe I’d slowed down a step or two on what’s current, but next to this guy selling his Dinkle stuff? I’m Taylor Goddam Swift.” Batuik’s presence having made them feel good about themselves, they’ll then stop and chat, and generally encourage him to come back year after year. If they can get the school library to expense it, maybe they’ll even buy a book.
GREAT HARRY’S DINKLE! I looked at the OMEA exhibitors’ list, and I don’t see any sign of Batiuk, Funky, or Dinkle! It’s here, on pages 12-13. https://issuu.com/omea-ohio/docs/2025_issu_schedule
Unless he’s a last-minute entry or someone else can find a sign that he’ll be there, perhaps this is the end of an era.
@Drake good find! But I think Batiuk sat out the OMEA a couple years ago, because FW referred to the event in a generic way.
Check out the list of exhibitors, Kent State University is listed, that means KSU Press. He will probably be there, especially since it is close to home this year.
Today’s strip even takes the fun out of looking for Davis’ art swipes, since it presents the re-used panel as such. Lame.
Of all the Tom Batiuks in the world, TB is Tom Batiuk-iest.
“I wanted to call it Counter Culture Chronicles, but eventually we settled on Rappin Around!”
This story would have been more interesting than anything this two-and-a-half week borefest has shown us. And “Batton” just skips over it. And it doesn’t occur to Skip to ask him to say more about it.
Tom Batiuk, “counter-cultural”? That’s the funniest thing he’s written in ages.
Perhaps I’m being too harsh. Dig this: Tom Batiuk once ditched class to go pick up the latest Lovin’ Spoonful LP. Far out, man!
Early Funky Winkerbean had some counter cultural elements. Roland was introduced as such a person in the first strip, and often conflicted with his father and other people in this way. And now he’s a transgender woman, which I suppose is a modern sort of counter-cultural-ness. It was a stretch to call the entire strip counter culture, but the label isn’t 100% wrong.
I do agree with Batiuk on one thing: 3 O’Clock High was a much better name for the comic strip, at least during Act I.
“Counter Culture Chronicles” sounds more like a bunch of geezers sipping their coffee at Dale Evans and kvetching about them damn filthy hippies.
“I first thought about calling it Kounter Kulture Khronicles, but the editor just stared at me dumbfounded. Wouldn’t even tell me why he rejected it. Someday I’ll get my revenge…”
I’m gonna talk about ME! This is not off-topic for yet another “Tom interviews Tom” arc (currently on month FIVE)
Saturday, I named Tom as the cleverly-disguised Chief Tommy. Sunday, I was banned (from commenting on all GC strips). That day, regular commenter JGPuzzleWhiz pegged Chief Tommy the same. He has not been seen since.
Coincidence? Or big egotistical toddler who hates any comment that is isn’t, as Chief Tommy would say, “Clever”?
Good lord, how thin-skinned are these people? It’s grossly obvious that Batton is Batiuk, and not even an exaggerated, fictional version of Batiuk. And they boot people for pointing this out?
No, not pointing out Batton, but Chief Tommy. His only comment was always “Clever.” Then, starting with the Burnings, he began attacking anyone who made fun of Tom B’s masterwork. Then the obvious sock puppets appeared (and vanished). Now, it’s just the same thing over and over: “Do you people jump out bed in the morning just to hate this strip? And abuse helpless pet animals over ART?” (that is barely paraphrased) But twice (as far as I can tell), Chief’s been ID’d as Batshit and then they got banned overnight.
What also made me wonder was just the name “Chief.” Sounds like something a pizza place would yell to a geezer when he walks in the door, and whose entire diet is their food-like objects. And whose money they like more than their personality.
His nom de web could’ve been anything, but he went with “3 raccoons in a trenchcoat.” What was his second choice, Dr Pulitzer Tom Flash123 BabeMagnet LisasStory? I’ve noticed Chief hasn’t posted since someone said “Bill got banned.”
There’s no way for me to find out. Maybe someone just ask for JGPWhiz, and see if he replies? Or create a sock puppet under a different IP than their regular GC commenting, praise Tom Prime for his excellent work until Chief posts, and then kamikaze him with “OMG I CAN’T BELIEVE I’M TALKING TO ‘THE’ TOM BATIUK!!!” They’d either be loved by Chief Tommy, or instantly banned by morning.
This is why Tom is such a fascinating subject. It’s not that he’s a washed up hack (although he is), but that he’s so vain about it. Dude loves Dunning his Kruger.
Hm, at the moment that I write this post, JPuzzleWhiz last posted in CS five hours ago, and other comment sections afterward.
I’m not ready to fully agree that Chief is TB. I would think that TB would not allow his pride to write public posts in such crudely constructed means with a primary grade schooler’s understanding of grammar behind them. TB is very fond of using polysyllabic words that don’t correlate to what he thinks he is saying, and Chief is only dimly aware of how commas work. If TB were to commit to deliberately posting as an idiot for sock puppet purposes, I would think that he would completely ignore all use of capitalization and punctuation rather than half ass them.
“JPuzzleWhiz last posted in CS five hours ago”
Well, that’s good news!
Also–I’ve looked in 3 different browsers, and I don’t see any comments by him…Could you post a link, please? This is a time I’d really like to be proven wrong.
I just checked: JPuzzleWhiz replied to KC135E/R BOOMER‘s comment about the strip being sideways (the “featured comment” of the day) at about 2:45pm CST. So if he was banned, it was after that point.
Thank you! I read every GC comment and reply multiple times before posting, but kind of got tired of reading replies to replies. This is good news!
Wow! I just checked, and my Sunday CS comments that I thought I was banned for making are suddenly BACK! (at least in Firefox) Still with no reactions after posting 4 days ago! Exactly like they were when they were banned 4 days ago.
How odd. I guess I imagined it all! SORRY TOM You are always my hero. You taught me Banning speech is bad!
https://www.gocomics.com/crankshaft/2025/01/26?ct=v&cti=1048564
Five stages of message board death:
Haven’t had much chance to comment here, but…
This week I have been thinking about a Theory of Skip and Batton™:
What do y’all think?
Yup. His work has definitely been “writing-as-therapy” for several years now!
But I can’t see him letting go of his resentment that he couldawouldashoulda been the next Stan Lee.
The newspaper has appeared enough in Crankshaft (e.g., Ed doing the Jumble) that I think we have to treat it as a canonically real newspaper. Even though there’s no way a functional newspaper could exist as it is depicted. But that’s the Funkyverse for ya.
Also, “Batton” doesn’t seem like the kind of guy who would seek therapy. Or would ever go home and rethink his life, as Episode II put it.
Fun post, BJR6000. BatYam can take a simple, reasonable premise, and twist and bend and warp literally every single detail of his story in a way where it makes no sense relative to anything, and completely contradicts itself from panel-to-panel. There are countless examples, like, for example, all of them.
Thursday’s strip–okay, it’s confirmed. Batton Thomas is a first-rate imbecile. Did he really think the paper was thinking “We’ll print his unfunny stuff in a single issue, and leave it outside his door so he thinks it’s in all the print run”? I mean, that goes way past stupid.
Let’s be generous — that’s the joke. “I was such a naive kid, and so excited and thrilled, I grabbed every copy of the paper I could find and opened it to page 37 to make sure Rappin’ Around was there. And it was!”
Properly written and delivered, it’d be a charming little anecdote. Of course, “properly written and delivered” is way beyond Batiuk’s current skill set. But the germ of the idea is there.
If Batiuk wants to use his comic strip to do a little reflection on his career, fine. As usual, the problem is “what is the tone of this”?
He’s having Skip interview his avatar about his own life, and Batton is just giving a straightforward retelling of Batiuk’s own life. Nothing is exaggerated, embellished, or fictionalized in any way. There is no larger narrative to any of it. It skips over anything that had the potential to be interesting, like what those “words buzzing in the air” actually were, or why he felt the need to make sure his comic strip was in every single copy of the same newspaper. And Skip, despite being a journalist with a motivation to tell an interersting story, just lets him drone on about nothing. While paying for his lunch. Twice.
There’s an implied tone, though: if only “Batton” had gotten hired by Marvel or DC, then he could have done something important with his life. He could have been happy. Batiuk treats his own success in cartooning as a consolation prize. And that’s just sad.
Yeah, I get where it could be a charming story. “Could” is the operative word. If it was phrased differently, if anyone else was handling it, yes. But Tom Batiuk seems to think being obscure, using tangled phrases that can easily be made to mean anything makes him look smart.
“Hey, Phil? Stop the presses! Yes, I know it’s expensive! Oh, here we go again with “the Union says” — the hell with the union! This is really big!
No, the President’s fine. The Russkis what? No, the Russkis haven’t done a thing. Let me talk, Phil!
See, we need to do a special morning edition. Print run of one. Whadda ya mean, “one what?” One! O-N-E! One single newspaper! Are you deaf?
Well, I don’t care what the boys say! You’ll print what I tell you to print!
All right, settle down. Will ya let me talk! Okay. Page 37. Right, the comics page. We’re starting a new comic, but we only want it printed in one single paper. The rest of the edition is the same as what you just started printing.
None of your damn business why, that’s why! Who the hell’s running this paper, me or you? That’s right, and don’t you forget it. Now, get cracking on it or you’ll know the reason why!”
About the only way today’s strip makes any sense is if the “Teen Tuesday” thing is a separate publication, like the advertising supplements that are stuffed into the Sunday paper… which suggests it’s not paid for by The Paper, but rather provided by some third party. Which then makes me wonder if Batton’s actually getting paid for his cartoons, or if maybe he’s actually paying to have them published. Given the number of vanity publishing companies running ads on my late-night high-number TV, it’s not at all unbelievable…
Today’s Crankshaft
Make it stop please make the batton stop
Today’s Past Batiukverse Strip: March 8th of 1988 of Funky Winkerbean (this strip is part of a storyline in Act I where Funky dates Cindy, dumps her, and she immediately decides to ruin his life over it)
Apparently, in addition to being incredibly vain about physical appearance, prone to anger towards people more attractive than her and willing to ruin the lives of people less fortunate than her, Cindy is also homophobic (that’s the vibe i’m getting from this strip)
Didn’t Les file a sexual harassment suit against a girl who wouldn’t date him?
Maybe Les and Cindy did get up to something after that McArnold’s meeting, after all.
“So how can I be the biggest possible jerk, Les?”
“Well, it’s different for girls, Cindy, so I’d avoid lawsuits and concentrate on casting doubt on a guy’s masculinity. Like the comic-book cover which said that if this didn’t move you, you’d better call a doctor because you were probably dead, I’d say that anyone who didn’t want to date you was light in the loafers and that if they were breaking up with you, it’s because they’d found a better beard.”
“There’s no better beard than Cindy Summers, Les!”
“I rest my case…”
If I were Les and Cindy told me to not tell everyone that she dated me at McArnolds, there would be absolutely nothing stopping me from telling the entire school what happened and permanently ruining her popularity
Les blackmailing Cindy over that would have been an interesting way to use that story. Especially since Les had no power over Cindy otherwise. But it wouldn’t have made sense in Act I, when “high school rules” were in effect.
High School Cindy Sommers really was a stuck-up bitch… But that’s okay because the stuck-up high school bitch was a heavily used archetype all through the 1980s until the early 1990s pop culture… It’s almost like opening a time capsule to see it again…
Cindy’s punchline is another thing that TomBa was able to get away with in the 80s… Of course if this strip was in a later decade, the reader would easily assume that the couple was sexually active and either one or both parties was really, really bad (or really really inexperienced) under the sheets and that would be the joke…
I still have no idea how Cindy ended up with a do-nothing pothead slacker like Dr. Funkenstein if she really had her pick of any boy in town… Even more inexplicable is his wanting to break up with her — Who did he have waiting in the wings that was better??
Once again, Batiuk creates an interesting story, and leaves it off-camera.
And it is yet another example of how Batiuk’s mind never left high school. When you’re a young adult in your hometown, as I was, you find that high school social structures quickly evaporate. People that wouldn’t have acknowledged your existence a year ago now treat you like a normal human being. And it’s kind of nice, especially if you’re a complete dork like I was.
instead, you get the “oh, it turns out all of us felt like dorks!” revelation at a 50-year reunion, instead of at age 20 when people usually realize these things.
FW should never have left high school, since it’s the only thing Batiuk understands.
It could be like Jacy Farrow in Larry McMurtry’s *Last Picture Show.* She wound up with Duane and later Sonny because the town of Anarene didn’t offer much.
Jacy’s mother Lois frightened her husband into becoming rich.
Fine writer, that McMurtry. Won some sort of Prize, as I recall. Can’t remember what it was, but I think it begins with P.
In the latest TB blog post, we finally learn the big revelation hinted at in the last one. Are you ready? Okay.
“I will write about comic books.”
Here’s a trope for you to name, BJr6K: Tom’s weird writing tic. Example:
Basically, it goes like this.
I did A!
Well, actually, I didn’t do A, I did B.
Actually, I kinda did A.
He does this constantly, and it drags out the most boring stories to an excruciating length.
Normal person:
The dog had to go, so I took him out for a walk.
TB:
So I took the dog and went on a whirlwind journey to all the capitols of Europe! We visited the grand castles and great museums, and were welcomed as honored guests at Buckingham Palace! King Charles gave us a tiny gold crown for the dog!
Well, actually, it didn’t happen quite that way.
There was a whirlwind journey, and it did involve the canine who resides in our abode.
It was really a whirlwind journey to the sidewalk in front of the house, where the dog made a dook. A rather impressive one, if I do say so myself! (And I do!) I didn’t clean it up. Not my problem. That’s what I pay taxes for!
Stream Of Pointlessness
And here it is, Funkos and Funkettes, the evidence we knew was out there: Tom Batiuk thinks effort destroys creativity.
From today’s BattyBlog post, same one I quoted above:
Yes, folks, this idea — someone gets sick and eventually dies — was so original it was not of earthly origin, but something ineffable that materialized from the very Aether itself!*
Yet it was also “heavy lifting”? This “ethereal” moment was “heavy lifting”? English, motherf%#r, do you speak it?
And he thought about trying to “replicate it”? How, by killing off the rest of the cast one by one?
But god forbid anything be “burdened by intent.” I’m not sure what that phrase means, but what I get is: If you have to actually think, and work, to come up with an idea, then the idea is de facto garbage. Because once you’ve had one of them “unbidden” “ethereal” ideas, you realize that working is for schmucks.
Somehow it never occurred to him to ponder how grindingly hard his heroes — say, Lee, Kirby, Infantino, et al — worked on the comics they put out, and how little time they had to sit on their asses, sucking their thumbs, and waiting for The Muses to play the Unbidden Ethereal Music of the Spheres for them.
What the hell did they teach this guy in art school at Kent State, anyway?
*Please note that when 10,000,000,000 other stories, biographies, movies, soap operas, and comic strips used this idea, it was pedestrian and ho-hum. (Reminder: Send that Pulitzer right to Andrews McMeel and they’ll forward it, thanks.)
Oh, that post is a SCREAM.
Remember when Eve ran his last post through ChatGPT, asking it to make it more coherent? Does Tom do that, except telling it “Use big words to make me sound edumacated, like winner of the Budweiser Prize!”?
He sits on his strips for 11 months, clearly not editing them. And we get get hogwash like today’s strip: Free of drama, free of plot, certainly free of a punchline. But how many times has he fretted over that foreward, editing it without actually reading it? Is he using the Eye of Argon guy’s thesaurus, or <a href=”https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/English_as_She_Is_Spoke“>English As She Is Spoke</a>?
(Unrelated news: I’m still banned from GC commenting. Who’s gonna piss Chief Tommy off now?)
I decided to reread English As She Is Spoke on Gutenberg. From its table of contents:
“Of the bed.
The bed wood | The feet’s bed
The bed battom”
So THAT’S where he got the name Batton Thomas! He just shortened it.
Unpopular opinion alert: the guy who wrote Eye of Argon got a bad rap. He was like 14 at the time. I think he later killed himself.
Yes, it was bad, but at least it was entertainingly bad. It showed some imagination and effort. Someone that young should be guided, not mocked. He might have improved.
Even Tommy Wiseau was passionate and hard-working, though his ambitions badly exceeded his talent. Greg Sestero, who wrote the book about what a fiasco it all was, had genuine respect for him and called him a friend.
Tom Batiuk is in his 70s, and has been drawing a salary for this drivel his entire adult life. He has no excuse for being this inept. And you certainly can’t point to his youth, passion, or people skills as a point on his behalf.
Jim Theis (author of The Eye of Argon) didn’t kill himself, but he did die relatively young of heart disease at 48. And he was definitely affected by the way things turned out, saying that reaction to his book soured him on writing, and he never tried it again. He did, to his credit, actually agree to a couple of interviews as an adult, and while clearly a little miffed that he was being mocked for something he wrote as a teen (and which was his first-ever attempt at serious writing), he had the grace to take the ribbing well overall.
And whatever else you want to say about Theis, I agree that he put everything he had into The Eye of Argon. He didn’t slack, and he committed to a difficult undertaking right through to the end. He really, really tried his hardest to entertain — and, although perhaps not in the way he intended, in the end, he succeeded.
Whoa! I try to use basic HTML and the editor won’t let me. When I don’t want to, there ya go. Good thing I didn’t try to not use the “blink” tag!
Gonterman is a name I’ve not heard in a long time. We’re you ever on Portal of Evil? That was my doorway to all this web craziness. That’s also where I discovered Chris Chan, who I still monitor from a very safe distance.
” you ever on Portal of Evil?”
I don’t think I ever commented there, but I read it. Somewhere at the bottom of my Marianas Trench of old bookmarks I have a folder named “Daveykins” or something. I also still have a folder named “Netscape”…from v.1.01.
Now, I’m not going to say how long ago this was, though there may be hints, but the first online friend I ever met was on the Space Ghost C2C mailing list, and she asked me if I could host her Mysting of DVK on my Geocities page under a pseudonym, because she wanted no connection to her real handle, as she and Davey had worked together as co-admins overseeing the AOL cartoon message board and she didn’t want any blowback. As DVK was noted for his petulant meltdowns in that time. So…2015, maybe? When the Sun was blotted out by the fleets of zeppelins, so yeah. 2015.
No one has heard his name in a long time. As I said, he got turned into a newt, but got better in the exact same way Tom hasn’t. For any of you who are Gonter-curious, here it is:
http://www.thoughtviper.com/smmyst/smusaindex.htm
Or, if you want to know why I compare him to Tommykins, just read this one page:
http://www.thoughtviper.com/smmyst/p13.htm
I was a lower-tier commenter at PoE. Even had a couple submissions accepted, but nothing memorable. That’s where I first discovered the Chris-Chan saga, but I didn’t get involved. It felt like the kid had some genuine problems, and it didn’t feel right to pile on.
The one I remember was theschuminweb. That guy was a very banal, Batiuk-esque writer. This was pre-MySpace, so people were making bad websites about themselves, which PoE existed to mock. Schumin himself showed up in the forum devoted to his own website. This happened occasionally, and it was usually the best fun to be had at PoE. Surprisingly, schumin had a sense of humor about himself and a dorky charm, and became a well-liked semi-regular. He’s also a legit good photographer.
He never got any better at writing though. I remember this one story about the fire alarms at James Madison University. He went on and on about these fire alarms, telling you everything about them, except the one thing you wanted to know to understand the story. Amazingly, his site schuminweb.com is still up, and it hasn’t changed a bit. If you want a fun blast from the past, I recommend a visit.
At least he chose to use a page of Madam Fatal as the header image. Why, I have no idea, maybe he’s trying to tell us something, but I really don’t care to explore what that might be.
(For those unfamiliar, Madam Fatal was a Golden Age comic about a guy who fights crime, but instead of a superhero costume, he dresses as an elderly woman. Seriously, this was a real comic. Honestly, there really weren’t too many cross-dressing superheroes back then, so… props to the creative team there, but why is Batiuk using THAT as his header image?)
That’s TB for you. He introduces something new and intriguing, and never gives you the tiniest clue why. Then he rambles on about nothing.
What the hell did they teach this guy in art school at Kent State, anyway?
Considering it’s Kent State, probably not much. It’s metro Cleveland’s premier state university, for people who couldn’t get into Cleveland State or Akron. And if they did, Tom would just skip class to go buy comic books and Lovin’ Spoonfuls records.
Today’s Funky Crankerbean
So Batiukverse!Batiuk got signed by NEA instead of Publisher’s Hall/North American Syndicate
Today’s Past Batiukverse Strip: October 31st of 2002
I’d hate to say it but Act II Funky might as well be half as much of a asshole as Dick Facey is
I know it’s a Halloween party, but does everyone in this awful universe get proposed to or married dressed as Batman characters?
My gourd. Are there any more terrifying words than Tom, after a week of Tom interviewing Tom about Tom, saying “I sat down and *started to work on the beginning*”
How long is this going to go on? Is he raising Cthuhlu through chanting or some shit? Tom, I got plans to make! Destroy the Universe, FINE, just give us a schedule first.
Of course, is TOM. It could end with no conclusion (likely!), or wait until the Earth is populated by super-intelligent ambulatory fungi, having evolved through billenia of torturous evolution, so fully apart from Homo Sapiens that they say “Me, GLORGUL, MAD KING OF MUSHROOMS, think Crankshaft funny!”
Today’s Funky Crankerbean:
(Meanwhile in Westview, Dick Facey walks up to Vegeta and tries to smack him, but gets blasted away into the sun)
Vegeta: Goddamnit, I miss Kakarot.
Today’s Past Batiukverse Strip: December 12th, 2004 of Funky Winkerbean
GAH UGLY CLOSEUP GET AWAY FROM ME
If this were Dinkle, the punishment would be far far more severe
The worst punishment would be a closeup of Dinkle.
Even worse would be if said Dinkle close up was extremely detailed, with his teeth being close to rotten and his eyes bloodshot from all the angry tears he’s shed through his tantrums over being told that he cannot do any of the shit he’s doing
Even worser worse worst:
Closeup of CRANKSHAFT’S NOSE. I’ll bet those blackheads are filled with seagulls covered in oil. “Crankshaft: Brought to you by BP.”
I’m old enough to remember when Davis actually drew things. NO, it’s not an urban legend, he really DID! But boy oh boy, he sure went out of his way to show Ed’s syphilitic rot-nose. Almost as if he hated his penny-pinching boss!
Check out the list of exhibitors, Kent State University is listed, that means KSU Press.
Does it though? I would assume Kent State has a university band that might want some exposure. I can’t think of a reason that a general purpose publisher would want to be there, unless they print music theory or practice books.
It does seem like KSU now has a growing music program as their percussion ensemble is performing there. I’m kind of strange since nearby University of Akron always had a top notch music program—especially for percussion.
But I stand by my claim that it is KSU press and Batty and his books will be there.
*it’s kind of strange
Banana Jr. 6000,
Sorry, I’m a little behind in SoSF again. I finally finished reading Blog Spox Reax: Batx Work Sux last night. It was time-consuming as I reread many of the blogs you linked as well. Reading some of your blogs is like watching a Christopher Nolan movie. You really have to pay attention.
I’m ready for exam. Is it too late? Is there a makeup?
About this blog.
Not to be cruel to Batiuk, but I sometimes wonder about him. Is there some kind of mental decline, or is it just a case of Doesn’tgiveacrapanymoreitis? As somebody here wrote, Batiuk appears more interested in blogging than creating a coherent strip. He seems to start a story arc, then quickly lose interest.
You’ve joked about how Jules Rivera would have been the perfect artist for Funky Winkerbean after Ayers retired. She might have able to save the strip.
Have you been reading Mark Trail lately? About Mark providing security so Max the Manatee can be returned to his freshwater Florida home? What a jumbled mess. Kidnappers in bear suits want to kidnap the manatee. No, they want to kidnap Rita for criticizing their boss. No, it really is about the manatee people believe can predict the weather. The kidnappers and their bosses believe Max can affect climate change. The kidnappers are arrested, for some reason. Getting beaten up by Mark and not being very bright? Through several weeks, we didn’t see the manatee in question until the final days of the story arc. In the end, I have no idea what the story arc was supposed to be about. Hunh. Much like Batiuk’s The Burnings.
My point: Hell, Rivera could not only have illustrated Funky Winkerbean, but she could have written it in the Batiuk style as well.
Oh, well. A new blog is out, and the 2024 Crankshaft Awards are underway. Hopefully you’ll read this. Cheers.
Banana Jr. 6000,
That was a bad comparison. Some may think I find your blogs open to interpretation and confusing. What I should have written is, some of your blogs are not what most people would consider a light read. Hopefully you’re taking that as a compliment.
I do, thanks.