beckoningchasm

Cory, We Hardly Knew Ye

My God, Holly’s dialogue in panels one and two is brain-busting. Except for the need to fill a pre-existing, drawn-a-year-in-advance word balloon (my pet theory, I hope you don’t mind if I harp on it constantly), I’m hard-pressed to think why such a fetid stew of verbiage would get vomited up. Every time I try to think of a way to shorten that mess, my mind goes blank. But let’s try:

The actual point of the strip, hinted at yesterday, is that yes, Funky was a fan of Starbuck Jones. Since it seems Cory is too, perhaps they’ll have an actual reason to contact one another and chat. Of course, Funky being Funky, the idea of communicating with a fellow human being, other than to express contempt, is inconceivable. Note the tense of Funky’s verb: Funky was a fan of Starbuck Jones. Was. Then, he grew up, hardened his gaze, and never looked back. He was many things. He is…Funky Winkerbean.

Holly then offers up another “If only we’d gotten to know him better” lament. Well, Holly, that wouldn’t have happened with Funky (being after all, Funky), but you know, Cory is your biological child. You’ve known him all his life. You have pretty much no excuse not to know more about your own son than you do. So, yeah, I guess you can feel sorry for yourself. No one else is going to.

Bonus “Utter Insanity” note–look at Funky in panel three. Specifically, look at his neck. You see the tag there? The tag that typically signifies “size” and “washing instructions”? See how it has flipped itself up? This…this is amazing. Tom Batiuk, an artist who cannot be bothered with panel-to-panel consistency, makes certain that Funky’s t-shirt tag is realistically flipped up. And they say there are no miracles.

Funky Say WHAT

Today’s strip.

Greetings, fellow snarkers, BChasm back for another stint (I almost wrote “stink”) in the Funky Winkerbean guest-host-o-rama.

For a comic strip that continually confounds me, today’s episode is a grand-slam home run. I have no idea whatsoever what is supposed to be conveyed by Funky’s expression and dialogue in panel three. His words say “I’m astonished to the point of horror” but his face is swept with the bemusement that, aside from the smirk, is the most prevalent facial expression in Westview. Replace Holly’s dialogue with “I found a dozen pies” and his expression suddenly makes perfect sense.

Taking a wild stab here, I’m going to assume that Funky is a fan of Starbuck Jones (wasn’t that the comic he urged his younger self to buy?) and is amazed that Cory has even heard of such a thing. Perhaps the two of them actually share a characteristic, other than unending cynicism.

This is quite a surprise to me. The reason it’s surprising is that in all my recent reading of Funky Winkerbean (since the tail end of the Gay Promeggedon) I cannot recall a single area in which Funky expresses any interest at all. Well, there’s Steve Earle I suppose. But other than that, Funky seems to have no interests, hobbies or anything that distinguishes him from the pizza dough he endlessly kneads. Other than owning the only healthy business in Westview, he seems to have no purpose.

Well, okay, he does serve one function. But “He was one of Les Moore’s foils” is not going to be much of an epitaph.

“BC”=”Before Cthulhu”

Today’s strip

NB: BC does not stand for BeckoningChasm! Let’s just swat those rumors down right now!

Now, as for today’s thing…whoa, Les is straying from the Moby Dick/“Snows of Kilimanjaro” syllabus! Let’s be generous and say he’s only brought this particular work into his class in order to point out its shortcomings compared to those two works…”bullying it,” in a sense. Now, I confess my knowledge of ancient texts is pretty weak, so can anyone tell me what this work might be? The Satyricon, maybe?

Given the sorry state of the Westview educational system, Owen’s answer seems to be a genuine one, not borne of his own personal ignorance. There’s no evidence of a typical religious presence in Westview, although I seem to recall a priest performing Les and Cayla’s wedding. So Jesus Christ (no matter your personal view of him) would not be an item that anyone in this benighted town would discuss openly, and hence the meaning of “BC” wouldn’t be common knowledge among the community’s teens. (It’s not BeckoningChasm so stop asking!)

In fact, seeing the evidence of how the characters in this comic regard the endless and instant hostility of the cosmic fate that continuously observes and judges them, I suspect that the only gods known in Westview are those theorized by H.P. Lovecraft…

–okay, that was a jokey aside, but in all seriousness, it suddenly makes the undercurrents behind this strip much more interesting. Did Lisa really die of cancer? Did Susan Smith really leave town? Last year’s high school class…have they really gone on to college somewhere? Where are Jinx, Chien, Crazy Harry’s kids, Rachel’s son, Wally’s son? Why aren’t they mentioned at all? Did you notice we didn’t have a “senior prom/graduation day” arc this year–what happened to last year’s entire junior class? And maybe Khan isn’t “Khan,” but the Mad Arab Abdul Alhazred? Maybe “Citizen Khan’s” isn’t a deli at all!

Now I really want to see a Sunday strip showing the Westview folks attending mass. I want to see a priest facing the crowd and saying, “Okay folks, repeat after me–Ph’nglui mglw’nafh Cthulhu R’lyeh wgah’nagl fhtagn!”

*cough* Well, rather than end on that dark thought, let’s take a closer look at panel two, where Les is at his most punchable.

If he swallows him, he'll make a BLEAH face and spit him out.

There you go. As our friends at Mad magazine once said, “Suitable for framing or wrapping fish!”

(Credit Where It’s Due Department: image of Cthulhu created by someone who calls himself Somniturne1)

I thank you for your indulgence, fellow snarkers! As Fearless Leader says, stay Funky!

Despica-Bull Me 2

Today’s strip

Oh God, another terrible, terrible pun. About an issue that’s received quite a lot of serious treatment, both in the strip and in the “real world.” I’m not sure how to react about the constant reporting about the rise of bullying incidents in our schools, but it seems at the very least to be a subject requiring some sensitivity. A terrible pun made at the expense of the victims seems pretty low, even for Tom Batiuk. The “bullying arc” with Alex, earlier in the Spring, actually seems to have handled this issue better. …Uh, I’m guessing it did. I really don’t want to go back and read it again.

And let’s just skip over yesterday’s episode, wherein you’ll recall that Bull used a bit of the ol’ bullying himself, in order to receive his gruel in a more timely manner. Just like we’ll skip over the fact that lunch is being served at all, given that it was cut from the budget last week. I think someone must have given continuity a wedgie!

Okay, this post might seem a bit of an overreaction to an awful pun, and I’ll admit that. The thing is, when you proclaim that your work “is a reality-based comic strip that depicts contemporary issues affecting young adults in a thought-provoking and sensitive manner,” making an insensitive joke like this makes it appear that the words in quotes above are just a cheap slogan, to be swept aside by the first dumb wordplay that saunters down the street and winks at you.

Cuts Both Ways

Today’s strip

So, one of the reasons Bull wanted to enter the world of higher education was so he could continue the great tradition of being a huge dick to the students. That seems rather humble, doesn’t it? I mean, all the teachers are huge dicks to the students; it must be the first instruction in the first paragraph of the Westview High School’s So You Want to be a Teacher pamphlet. Being a huge dick just means you’re earning your paycheck. I guess I can’t really blame anyone in the Funkyverse for setting his sights low; ambition is typically rewarded with a cosmic swatting. Still, it’s interesting to see such a naked lack of ambition.

By the way, I went to high school and I don’t recall any teachers taking advantage like this. Everyone, teacher, student and administrator, got in line and stayed in line. Of course, there’s nothing funny about playing by the rules…just like there’s nothing funny about Funky Winkerbean. Hey wait a minute–how can Bull “get cuts” in line, when lunch itself has been cut? Is Bull fantasizing? This…this is what he daydreams about? Yeah…that’s some ambition all right.

I see that the “smart-pad” has already been dropped (by Les, into the swimming pool). Someone from Apple must have hrmm-hrmm’d at Tom Batiuk’s lawyers, and the change from “iPad” to “Smart-Pad” probably didn’t mollify anyone. Well…perhaps Mr. Batiuk has learned a bit of humility from the experience, and the next time someone uses a bit of the old Funky Winkerbean magic, he’ll…oh, okay I can’t really keep up the pretense. My sense is that Mr. Batiuk will continue taking the advice from the So You Want to be a Nationally Syndicated Cartoonist pamphlet very seriously indeed.