beckoningchasm

The Gangrene’s All Here

Another dull entry…which would be a great name for this strip.

Imagine this particular episode presented with no dialogue–it’s just people standing around with a couple of handshakes thrown in. Without the dialogue, it’s dull, but you have the possibility that adding dialogue might make it into something that could be interesting, possibly, depending on what these people say. But in Funky Winkerbean, if you add the dialogue back, yes, it changes…but not for the better. You end up with something no one could care about at all, except someone trying to reach a 50th anniversary on a project in which he has lost all interest. And it shows. Boring people saying boring things in a boring way.

I’m sure the idea is that Funky Winkerbean fans (those mythical creatures) would look upon this and shout, “Yes! Vera and Cliff are back! This is great!” The problem–probably the main problem with the whole strip–is that in the real world, enthusiasm for characters comes from caring about them, because those characters are interesting, or do interesting things. Here, these characters are uninteresting, do nothing but stand around, and we are given no reason to care about them at all. This is because Tom Batiuk cannot create interesting characters, because he cannot care about anyone other than his various avatars (mainly Les, but also Dullard, John Howard and Dinkle).

Remember that time you were in a restaurant and you asked the table next to you if you could borrow their salt shaker, and you got an assful of stories that bored you to tears, but you needed that salt? Say hello to Vera and Cliff.

While I can’t say much for his taste in clothing, it’s nice that Cliff and Vera dress up a bit when they’re going visiting.

The House That Jones Built

Link to today’s strip.

Greetings, folks, BChasm here back behind the wheel of this eternally stalling vehicle. Many thanks to Comic Book Harriet for an excellent hosting stint. Trust me, the headaches go away after a while!

So, what do we have here? I’m honestly dying from boredom just looking at this one. I do like the drawing of the house and the environs in panel one–it’s simple and slapdash but it’s nice, including the squiggle birds and the hinted-at ocean. A decent looking house right on the beach–Starbuck Jones has been very good to Mason. And it’s nice of Les to change from the yellow shirt he was wearing yesterday to a blue version of the same thing. I suppose he did that on the ride over, and thank you to Tom Batiuk for not showing that, and also not showing Mason saying, “Wow, Les, you’re really ripped. I could get you into the movies easily, as a sensitive and caring guy who ends up with the girl in the end!” And also not showing Les being all humble and yet unable to say No. So that’s three good things Tom Batiuk did in just this one episode!

Anyway, I get that Les and Mason are pals due to suffering through the abortive “Lust for Lisa” project, but Cayla and Cindy don’t really seem like the type to pal around. Have they ever actually met?

As for the dialogue, ugh. Dullard told Mason that he and Les were up for an award. Cindy took that as a way to catch up on Ohio. Because, as I think the Comics Curmudgeon pointed out, phones can never be used in the Funkyverse. And everything always happens in Ohio…the place Mason wanted to retire to, if I remember correctly. Yeah, no one uses phones, except Les, just yesterday to text Cindy. So he has her number stored in his phone. And…

This strip is like a shelf full of boxes that all get knocked to the floor, contents scattered everywhere. And the person assigned to pick everything up just doesn’t care where things are supposed to go.

Still, I think the point of this episode is to present something so dull and uninteresting that no one can really criticize it. If so, mission accomplished.

It’s just a restless feeling by my side

Link to today’s strip.

Good news, everyone! Starting tomorrow, SoSF’s chairman of the board, Mr. TFH himself, will be taking over hosting duties.

I appreciated and enjoyed the Funky-Holly week, something that rarely happens…”enjoyment,” I mean. While it was way too long, it still involved humor that was grounded in the characters. I wouldn’t like to see that every week–a thin joke stretched to just below the pain threshold–it was a nice break from the tedium.

The Becky week on the other hand reached a new level of dullness. I think it’s pretty easy to tell the author avatar characters, as they are treated with a solemnity that casts a pall over any possible entertainment. Not that there was entertainment to be had….

It’s almost as if Tom Batiuk tells himself, “Becky is such a rich character that people will laugh with her and learn about themselves, no matter what the dialogue is.” If I may quote Luke Skywalker, “Impressive. Every word in that sentence was wrong.”

As for today’s strip, as usual The Precious was not available for preview, so follow in your book and repeat after me, as we learn three new words in Turkish: towel. Bath. Border….

The Song That Never Ends

Link to today’s strip.

I get the intended joke: band never ends. Students unfortunate enough to play an instrument never get their lives back from the one-armed bandit. The thing is, it’s not funny, it’s depressing, which lines right up with everything about this strip. Is this really how Tom Batiuk wants to shape his legacy? That he made the world a worse place by placing his work in it? Cos that’s what’s happening right now, on film and in the studio.

I want to add this quote from Batiuk’s blog:

“As long as I’m at it, the whole Pop Art movement was wrong as well. The artists of the Pop Art movement treated the comics as something disposable and shallow even as they tried to emulate them. “

I hate to break this to him, but most of the creators of comic books thought they were disposable and shallow. Stan Lee, for example, wanted to write the Great American Novel and saw comic books as a way to earn a living in the meantime.

I also want to quote this, from a Flash Friday episode, before he corrects it:

“Stories don’t come in a much scope than that.”

Yes folks, that’s [sic] and I find it hilarious…more so than anything this strip has offered up.

One notable aspect of today’s strip is that Becky’s sleeve is nowhere in evidence. Someone slipped up in quality control! Also, Dinkle is nowhere to be found, so that’s a bonus point. I do like the way Becky rotates through the panels, it helps to alleviate the boring nature of the strip by at least adding some visual interest.

Tuna Melt

Link to today’s strip.

I was gonna title this one “I Melt With You” but someone (TFH himself it turns out) already thought of that, so I had to fall back and punt. The reason for using “melt” should be obvious from the artwork: these people are dissolving before our eyes into some kind of primordial slime. And worse, it’s because they’re laughing so hard at Becky’s…wit.

Ever notice that when one of Batiuk’s favored characters says something intended as a joke, the crowd dissolves into paroxysms of uncontrolled laughter? Yet when one of his hated characters says something that’s actually funnier, those characters are met with a stony silence iced with contempt.

Of course you’ve noticed. It’s one of the hallmarks of this strip, now that it has morphed fully into the “revenge on those who failed to appreciate me” Legion of Doom.

In melting news, look at Mr. and Mrs. Pinkenpurple in panel two.* This, ladies and gentlemen, is some damn bad art. But it’s in the cause of making Becky look great!

Which makes it even worse, in my opinion.

As for the “tuna” part of my title, well, they’re talking about food and tuna is a food so there you go. I’ll admit the level of work I put into this one approaches Batiukian levels. But…I’m writing about Batiukan stuff! So it turns out to be all “meta” and like that, and my check better clear at the local Sprawl Mart, or there’ll be trouble in guest-hosting land!

Speaking of bad art, when folks ask me about my college career, I tell them “I got a degree in fine arts…gateway to the restaurant business!” Meaning I got a lot of jobs as a busboy and stuff. I think my joke is better than Becky’s on the same theme, though I’ll admit mine’s only a tiny bit better.

*Fun fact: I was going to call them Mr. and Mrs. Goodnplenty because I thought Good N Plenty candy was pink and purple. In fact, I would have sworn that was the case. But they’re not, they’re pink and white…unless I’m a victim of the Mandela Effect.