Epicus Doomus

Leafpocalypse Now!

I’ve been waiting years to finally see this. What we’re seeing here is known as a “Westviewian baptism” ceremony. Outsiders are not normally privy to witness “The Throwin’ O The Leaves”, an indoctrination ritual involving leaves, wordplay and light-hearted banter based on 1940s pop culture. According to the faith it absolves the recipient of “original wryness”, whatever that means. Then your parents get a bunch of savings bonds they’re supposed to set aside for you. Consider yourselves very, very fortunate to get this rare glimpse of Westviewian culture.

But seriously, questionable native American faux-slang aside, these two are seriously beginning to wear on me. It doesn’t matter what they say, it doesn’t matter what they do. It’s just that they’re there, that they exist at all. Summer is the “religious missionary at your door who won’t go away” of comic strip characters and Les is incapable of being anything less than rage-inducing regardless of what he does. At least the black Sunday borders are gone, finally.

Rope, A Dope

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Wow, how hilarious. This arc is like a trope within a trope within a trope. He actually managed to drop the ol’ “Les gets stuck on the rope in gym class” gag, which was a recurring gag back in the pre-Lisa Act I days. I’m just wondering how the school photographer got that shot, did he or she climb the rope next to Les or did they use some sort of special lens? That’s one hell of a yearbook staff photographer though, no debate there.

The most interesting thing about this one is how Summer grins knowingly as she shows Cayla how feeble and weak her dad was in high school. It’s that special bond they have, the former collegiate sports hero and the current one, sharing their common interest in mocking nerds and geeks.

But yep, it’s come to this all right. Resorting to Les hanging off the gym rope to round out the week, pretty much as lazy as it gets. It really reinforces how solid the Cayla/Les relationship is too, as we begin to get a clearer picture of why one of Westview’s most desirable single women (small pond) ended up settling on the most annoying and obnoxious person who ever lived. She’s either insane or she just likes knowing that she could theoretically beat the living hell out of him any time she wanted to without even really having to try too hard.

There’s also this, which is something that sounds like a lot of fun. A discussion that’s long overdue if you ask me.

Sappy Anniversary

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So Cayla took one look at the “fear and doom” on Les’ face and was…instantly entranced??? This woman is a true Westviewian, I’ll tell you what. “My dear caught in the headlights” gets my vote as the single worst sentence I’ve ever read, particularly when taken in context. Once again women find the loathsome Les Moore irresistible, even when he’s being a thoughtless weasely dick. It’s not just unrealistic, it’s f*cking impossible. And what it tells us about the whole weird “author/avatar” thing is a topic best left unexplored if you ask me. Even Summer, the blandest college kid on earth, looks bored out her skull by the time Cayla wraps up her story about how being a doormat turns her on. The whole thing is just sickening, I feel like washing my hands after reading this tripe.

Cluelesslesness

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Ugh, after repeating the premise three times, Cayla finally dishes the dirt. But I’m going to do the unthinkable and defend poor Les here. I mean think about all the Lisaversaries the guy has to observe every year: birthday, deathday, Mother’s Day, wedding anniversary, Cancer Symptom Discovery Day, Diagnosis Day, Correct Diagnosis Day, New Year’s Eve, I mean come on. The guy is in the business of re-living his wife’s tragic death (and teaching or something), he can’t be expected to remember the anniversary of the day when he conned one of the few non-obese single women in town to agree to marry him in an ultra-cheapo front yard wedding (catered by Montoni’s, no less) even though it was clearly obvious that he was still totally obsessed with his long-dead wife, can he? Life is, after all, about priorities. And I’m sure he’ll make a whole huge thing out of it when she dies so ease up, Cayla, your time is gonna come.

Hey, look. Les finally got Cayla that dishwasher she asked for. Zing. Funny how he brought Summer back and updated her character’s status with a quick “don’t ask” just so he could have her set up Cayla’s woefully bogus anniversary story. If she was a real person you’d start to wonder who she pissed off up there at Batom Inc. HQ, you know? Not that I’m suggesting that we delve into Summer’s character, no, no. By no means, no. There’s no need for that, trust me. Keep her in the background and get her the hell out of here as soon as possible, please.

Anyhow, look at Les and Cayla’s tiny bed. What the hell is that? That Les throws nickles around like they’re manhole covers, I’ll tell you what. What a cheapskate.

Electronic Fail

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Good old TomBat, always right on top of today’s latest fads. Has anyone, anywhere, used the phrase “electronic card” anytime since maybe 1996? Word balloon filling-upping at its very finest. I do like how Cayla refers to Lisa as “movie script” now, though. Hey, it’s progress.

Summer’s extremely irritating habit of making odd, childish noises continues today as she “ulps” in a manner befitting the fine young woman she’s become. Her annoyingness is only topped by her uselessness. God I detest her so much. If it isn’t about her why is she even here?

But Sad Sack Les in panel one more than makes up for Summer’s presence today…it’s absolutely glorious. Look at him, all humiliated and sad, it’s fantastic. Every Les arc needs to end with that drawing. If only that were possible.