Author: TFHackett

Love and "Marraige"

April 2008

Again today we have Blonde and Blonder acting like a couple of newlyweds when we’ve got proof, proof, people, that these high-school sweethearts tied the knot eleven years ago. It feels not so much like a willful retcon as it does that Batiuk settles for just making his puppets dance and say cute things and calling it “storytelling”.

I’ve “remixed” panel 2 to suggest a more natural dialogue between two people who’ve had 11 years to get used to the realities of “marraige” [sic]:

Dear Beady-Eyed Nitpickers:

Ladies and gentlemen,

To make a long story short: I’ve made the difficult decision to step aside after three years as your genial host. Snarking on Funky Winkerbean has been lots of fun, but it does consume quite a bit of time that I really need to be devoting to my family and my career.

The SoSF community is the wittiest and friendliest online community I’ve ever had the pleasure to be involved with, and I would hate to turn you all loose with no place to snark. To that end, I am looking for a successor. I feel that there are more than a few of you reading this whose ability to rip Tom Batiuk a new one on a daily basis far surpasses my own.

I’m hoping that I can turn over the proceedings here to a new master (or mistress) of ceremonies. In addition to a knowledge of Funky Winkerbean canon, the ideal candidate should have experience with WordPress and access to a web hosting service (preferably not GoDaddy, but that’s up to you). I would be handing over all assets: the sonofstuckfunky.com domain, the @sonofstuckfunky Twitter account, the last three years’ worth of posts, and help with the transition.

So give it some thought; do be advised that maintaining a blog like this can turn into a time suck (hell, just reading Funky Winkerbean can be a waste of time, let alone analyzing it). I will entertain any questions in the comments below, or you can contact me directly using the “Contact SoSF” form in the right sidebar of this page.

Thanks for reading and, for the love of God, stay Funky!

Your pal,

TFHackett
Son of Stuck Funky

Jess Knows Best

Since Batiuk has so haphazardly laid the groundwork for his latest epic narrative, it’s up to us readers to try and connect the dots; for example, why Frankie knows so much about not only his estranged son Darin, but seemingly everyone else in Westview. As for how much Darin knows about his Bio-Dad®…

Charles
May 9, 2013 at 3:23 pm
It’s so easy to believe but still so appalling that Les simply used everyone’s real names in “Lisa’s Story” and passed on a lot of personal information on them that probably wasn’t relevant to…Lisa’s story.

But I’ll be willing to bet that Les doesn’t take any heat for this whatsoever. “Hey Blabbermouth, the state keeps adoption records sealed for a REASON, you know. But who cares about that, you have a book about your dead wife that must be written!” And, you know, it’s absolutely essential for that book to recount every single detail exactly as it happened, because it happened, you know.

Then I’ll assume that, if he didn’t hear it from Lisa herself upon their reunion, Shrimp Sauce learned from Les’ book that he’s the product of an unintended pregnancy (at best; pending the coming retcon). Yet Jessica insists that Frankie’s side of the story be heard. If Jessica never got around to reading Les’ book about her own father, it’s likely she hasn’t bothered to read Lisa’s (and Darin’s) Story either. No wonder she won’t let this go.