Son of Stuck Funky

That Time Cranky Almost Died

Sorry for such a long gap between posts. I think the ‘Crankys’ this year would more aptly be called the “Slappies”. You would not believe how long I’ve been agonizing about the relative dickishness and awards-worthiness of an entire A-Team of Assholes.

Cs asked for it, so I thought I would give it to you. The plotline where Cranky almost died of the flu. What year was this? I’m not sure. The ‘Strike Four’ collection doesn’t have any dates on the strips, but Mindy and Max are still pretty young, so some time in the early to mid 90’s. Fairly early in the strip’s run, relatively speaking.

I post this as a reminder that Cranky was tackling soap-opera style pathos and long form arcs from the beginning. It was never purely a gag strip like early Funky Winkerbean was. I’m curious to know what you all think of it. Personally, I find a lot to like here, but I’ve always been a classic Crankshaft apologist.

REPORT, Mr. Data!

Y. Knott had a great question on my last post,

For all of your information, Cranky was silent in 46 of his strip appearances in 2024. Though for many of those ‘silent’ strips he was still very much the center of attention.

Dilly Tally!

Happy New Year to all the beautiful nit pickers out in beady eye land!

Yours truly got a thrilling late Christmas Gift to ring in 2025 in style, laryngitis!

But I haven’t just spent the last week shuffling around the house while my voice gradually grows from the faint dying squeals of a drowning bag of field mice to the brassy honks of a trombone entering puberty. I’ve gotten to work on the year end Crankshaft report, gearing up for Cranky Awards Season coming soon.

So! For all you data and lore obsessives out there!

Testimony Of Student

My retelling of The Burnings continues. All episodes of the retelling appear under the “Burnings” tag.) A recap of previous episodes:

Prologue 1: If The Burnings Were A Movie, You’d Walk Out. Let’s Write A Better One.
Prologue 2: Murder In The Burnings: The Minor Suspects
Prologue 3: Murder In The Burnings: The Major Suspects
Chapter 1: Testimony Of Nate Green
Chapter 2: Testimony Of Arson Investigator
Chapter 3: Further Testimony Of Blaise Ashcomb
Chapter 4: Testimony Of Skip Rawlings
Chapter 5: Testimony Of Police Investigator

Chapter 6 begins now.

PROSECUTOR: Please state your full name.

CHRISTOPHER: Christopher J. Bland, but I go by Chris.

PROSECUTOR: You are a student at Westview High School, is that correct?

CHRISTOPHER: Yes.

Fetish Gear

Hope you all had an awesome Christmas and a beautiful Boxing Day. I had originally hoped this post would go up Christmas Day. But I let that dream die, as on a foggy Christmas Eve I sat alone at my kitchen table, building a massive wall of unfrosted cookies like I was running on a platform of Make Baking Great Again.

I spent Christmas Day being hostess, and the days following recovering from the insulin shock resulting from the three pounds of assorted baked goods I’d consumed all at once.

But, finally, a Funky Winkerbean Christmas post I’ve been baking up for a while.

WARNING: LES MOORE ARCHIVE APPEARANCES EN ROUTE. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED. THOSE WITH SENSITIVE STOMACHS AND WEAK CONSTITUTIONS ARE ADVISED FOR THEIR OWN SAFETY TO USE DISCRETION.