The Crankshaft Awards 2023, Part 5!

First of all, a very happy Valentines Day to all of you out in Funkyville. I hope all of you out there spent some time with a loved one. Maybe some of you don’t have a romantic partner, but that’s fine. Love just as deep and just as powerful exists between parents and children, brothers and sisters, friends, companions, crazy cat ladies and their felines, old men and their lap dogs. And never underestimate the insane affection that can exist between a part time blogger and the assortment of anonymous cartoon icons and wacky user names that fill the comments section.

“Friendship arises out of mere Companionship when two or more of the companions discover that they have in common some insight or interest or even taste which the others do not share and which, till that moment, each believed to be his own unique treasure (or burden). The typical expression of opening Friendship would be something like, “What? You too? I thought I was the only one.”
… It is when two such persons discover one another, when, whether with immense difficulties and semi-articulate fumblings or with what would seem to us amazing and elliptical speed, they share their vision – it is then that Friendship is born. And instantly they stand together in an immense solitude.”

C.S. Lewis, The Four Loves

However you spent the day, it had to be better than poor Becky and Wally’s Valentines back in 2006.

Sure, swear in front of your toddler…it’s not like you bothered to teach her English yet anyway.
Continue reading “The Crankshaft Awards 2023, Part 5!”

Crankshaft Awards 2023, Part 4

WARNING WARNING WARNING!

Today’s post has been rated M for MATURE.

Those with delicate sensibilities, prudish tendencies, or weak gag reflexes are advised to use their own discretion or indiscretion today. Whichever they have in greater abundance.

Some of you may have been shocked or confused by this awards category more than any other. We don’t often expect unveiled lust illustrated in our undying legacy zombie strips, sandwiched as they are between local sports and local obituaries. At least, normal people don’t. If you’ve been in the strip snark blogosphere for very long you’ve come to expect a certain level of geriatric raciness popping up in Mary Worth and Gasoline Alley.

And Crankshaft isn’t an exception. Crankshaft has NEVER been an exception. Cranky has been a lady killer from the very beginning.

Continue reading “Crankshaft Awards 2023, Part 4”

The Crankshaft Awards 2023, Part 2!

Seems like Tom decided to have his own little comics awards season in February of this year too. But I’m shocked on how he judged and awarded ‘Death of the Justice League’. You’d think he’d be happy to that the series brought back to the fore one of the mopiest, wingiest, most melodramatic DC characters of the Bronze Age. The Pariah! The guy who dramatically whined his way through the destruction of an entire multiverse with a mouth so wide you’d could fit Solomon Grundy’s fist inside.

You think Tom would have just eaten up Dark Crisis, especially when it starts with Pariah killing his dead wife for not being real enough. Even in a endless universe, it’s all about HIM, and his torment.

Les Moore would be proud.

Speaking of Torment!

Cranky Awards season marches on!

Continue reading “The Crankshaft Awards 2023, Part 2!”

The Crankshaft Awards 2023: Part 1!

Welcome nitpickers, and snarkers, and funkers of all ages to the First Annual Crankshaft Awards! In honor of our surviving strip, its surviving protagonist, and the dedicated team of dedicated cartoonists that put Crankshaft together, I have created the following award to hand out.

In this piece, I tried to capture the essence of Crankshaft in 2023. Thus, I spent about ten minutes using art I stole off of Google scribbling this together in MS Paint and called it good enough.

Continue reading “The Crankshaft Awards 2023: Part 1!”