Pep(peroni) Talk

Random, bulleted thoughts:

  • I’ll bet Funky has stashed away somewhere a “World’s Best Boss” mug that he bought for himself at Spencer Gifts (like Michael Scott from The Office).
  • I know Merry Pookster is delighted to see Khan alive and well, and no doubt plotting to go jihad, starting with his boss.
  • Speaking of faces we haven’t seen in ages: guess I can scratch Chef Marcello Mastriani off the missing in action list! He looks like the Swedish Chef after a shave.
  • If money’s tight, Funky might consider selling off that gold-plated Wurlitzer jukebox!
  • “We’re like a family here…or at least, a family that you like.” Because such a thing as familial love is an alien concept in Westview. Ask Cory.
  • The “punchline” just sucks so bad I’ll leave it alone.

Freud-ulence

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As some seniors whom we’ve never met don their caps ‘n’ gowns, the faculty partakes in some shady backstage dealings. As we witnessed awhile back, the closest thing to amusement in Westview is bitterly placing wagers to see who is the most miserable.

Cynthia Summers was unavailable, so the school had to scramble to line up Sigmund Freud as celebrity commencement speaker.

Have a Great Summer! Not!

No…Mr. Green is just doing his part to break your spirit, suck out every last bit of joy from your young lives, and turn you boys into apathetic, gloomy, miserable pricks just like everyone else in town. This! Is! Westvieeeeeeeewwwwwwwwww!

I just stumbled upon an article on Examiner.com: Open letter to ‘Funky Winkerbean’s’ Tom Batiuk: Dude, you have to lighten up. The author, Brian Steinberg, has definitely been suffering along with the rest of us. Check out his article about Thursday’s “comic”; be sure to click on the links to other Funky observations he’s written. I’ve added a link to Brian’s “Comics Examiner” page to my blogroll.

High School Madness

“I’m going to cut the soles off my shoes, sit in a tree and learn to play the flute!”

If you’re not familiar with the Firesign Theatre, you may be asking yourself, WTF? In which case, your homework is to listen to Firesign’s 1970 comedy classic, Don’t Crush that Dwarf, Hand Me the Pliers. I’ve posted the audio here: http://drop.io/dontcrushthatdwarf_1 (High School Madness begins around 15:20 into “This Side”)

You will still be asking yourself WTF, but you’ll have to admit that Porgy and Mudhead are a hell of a lot funnier than Cody and Owen.